Chapter 32 #2
“This is probably the worst time to say this, but I really fucking love you, and I want to be with you. Not as friends with benefits or any of that shit. I want to be yours. Openly. In every way.”
Her eyes search mine. “What happened to avoiding relationships at all costs?”
“You happened.”
She tugs at her lower lip, dragging my attention to her mouth. “That’s funny, because you happened too.”
“I know you have a lot going on,” I say. “I would never clip your wings or try to stop you from doing what you need to do. I want to be your number one supporter.”
“You already are,” she tells me quietly. “Are you sure you’re ready for a relationship?”
“I’m ready for a relationship with you,” I declare, feeling the truth of every word in the deepest part of my soul. “It’s not because I almost lost you today, but I’ll admit that gave me the push I needed. I’ve been feeling like this for a while, Ivy. For months.”
“Feeling like what?”
“Like I’m so in love with you, I can’t think straight.”
That blush intensifies. “But your divorce….”
I shake my head, angry at myself for ever giving my divorce more weight than it deserved. “That’s in the past. Just because it happened doesn’t mean I don’t get a second chance at love. A real chance. With you.”
Her thumb starts caressing the rough skin of my hand.
“You were so vocal about love being The Worst Thing Ever, I didn’t want to lose you by suggesting we become something more.
And then my life got turned upside down, and I momentarily lost sight of everything I care about.
I know you’ll always be there for me no matter what, but…
I’m tired of pretending I don’t want this.
I don’t want to be scared of hoping for things anymore. I want to be with you.”
Gently, I place a strand of hair behind her ear. “You do?”
She nods and leans into my touch. “I love you, too, you know? Like, an embarrassing amount.”
My heart somersaults. I didn’t even know it could do that shit. “That’s… that’s good.”
“Are you getting flustered?”
“What? No.”
“You sure are, big guy.” She pokes my side. “Come here.”
Our lips meet like they’ve done before, but this time, it feels different.
It’s more tender, slower, deeper. The drumming in my chest grows louder, every sense sharpening—the delicate softness of her lips, the subtle sweetness of her tongue, the quiet sound of her whimpers, the powerful realization that she’s finally mine, and I’m utterly hers.
We pull away slowly, as if neither of us wants to do it, but we both need air. I press my lips to her nose, her cheek, her other cheek, and finally to her mouth again.
“Does that mean I get to call you my boyfriend from now on?” she asks quietly, a little shyly.
A smirk touches my lips. “Yes, baby. Call me your boyfriend until the whole town knows I’m yours.”
She doesn’t have time to answer because the door bursts open behind us.
“Ivy!”
Joe’s tear-streaked face is the first thing I see as he rushes to Ivy’s side. Carefully, he wraps his arms around her, unable to hide the trembling in his voice when he says, “I-I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m feeling better. What are you sorry for, Jojo?” she asks, hugging him back as best as she can with fluids still connected to her arm.
He shakes his head, pulling away enough to scan her face. “For not calling you. For keeping my distance. For getting angry with you when none of what happened was your fault.”
“You’re a moody teenager. It’s part of life.” Ivy smiles, and I can tell she means it. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“What? Why?”
Her smile turns sad as she grabs his hand. “I pushed you away.”
“Ives—”
“Just hear me out.”
She coughs then, exacerbating Joe’s panic. He reaches toward her bedside table for her water.
Once she’s settled again, she continues, “Moving in with Aunt Sherry in Boston…. I feel like I made that decision for you, and I’m sorry. I thought I’d failed as a guardian and that going with her would make things easier for you. I don’t want you to think I wanted to get rid of you.”
“I don’t think that,” he reassures her. “I mean, I was hurt at first. But I get that you were angry and overwhelmed, and that was my fault. Plus, I agreed to move with her.”
“I’m the adult, Jojo. None of this is your fault. I still shouldn’t have made that decision for you.”
“I know you did it because you reached your limit. You’ve been pretending to have it figured out for a long time, and you just couldn’t anymore. I get it. Also, I could’ve just said no when you suggested it, but I was dumb too.”
Ivy presses her lips together. Her eyes get glassy before she says in a broken whisper, “You shouldn’t have to be this perceptive.”
“You’re lucky to have a smart brother, I guess,” Joe jokes.
It manages to pull a breathy chuckle out of her, but she’s quick to sober up again. “You and I… we’ve been through a lot of difficult stuff, and I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from all of it.”
He’s shaking his head before she’s done speaking. “Shit happens, Ives. But we have each other, so we’ll be fine.”
Ivy bites down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling. I want to hug her so damn badly, but this isn’t my moment to interrupt.
“I don’t want you to keep punishing yourself for everything that happened,” Joe continues.
“If you think you made a mistake in sending me away, fine. Whatever. I’m not angry with you.
I’ve made many mistakes myself, like not telling you about my F or my job, and you forgave me.
If you need my forgiveness, then I forgive you.
But do you seriously believe I’d think you want to get rid of me? ”
“Yes,” Ivy says without hesitation.
Joe rolls his eyes. “Cut me some slack. I would notice if my own sister hated me. You’ve had way too many opportunities to give up on me. Like that one time you wanted to abandon me at the mall.”
Another teary chuckle. “Once. I threatened to leave you there once when you were six and you wouldn’t stop screaming and asking for gummy bears.”
“But you didn’t, so now you’ve lost your chance forever. Plus, I wouldn’t have gone to Boston if…. I don’t know. I’m glad I went, in a way. Because now I know for sure that’s not what I want.”
“It’s not?” Ivy asks in a small voice.
“No. I want to move back here.”
“If it’s because of the fire….”
“It’s not,” he quickly says. “I hate it in Boston. Hate it, Ives. Aunt Sherry doesn’t let me do anything. She’s trying to turn me into a country club boy.”
I can’t help but snort. “A country club boy?”
He turns to me, acknowledging me for the first time since he walked in, and nods furiously. “Like a posh guy or whatever. She bought me a polo shirt and told me to tuck it in. It’s like she’s trying to change me into a different person.”
Ivy huffs. “Sounds about right.”
“But that’s not the main reason,” he continues, turning to his sister. “I miss you. I want to live with you again. You may not think so, but you’re the best guardian and sister I could ever have. I don’t want to stay with anyone else. I love my life with you.”
Shit. Who’s cutting onions under my eyes?
Ivy’s eyes get even more watery than before. “I love my life with you, too, Jojo. But I want you to be sure about this.”
“I’m very sure about this. I don’t even care about flight school.” When she stiffens, he clarifies, “I still want to go, but I don’t care if I have to wait to enroll if you can’t save up in time. That’s if… if you still want to pay for it.”
Ivy tells him everything then—her visit to their dad, the money we found under his bedroom floor, the note from their mom. Joe listens without interrupting, his watery eyes mirroring his sister’s.
“I still don’t want to see him,” Joe says, referring to their dad.
“You don’t have to until you’re ready,” she reassures him quietly. “But just so you know—I’m sending you to therapy.”
That catches Joe off guard. “Therapy?”
“You were too young when Mom passed. I know you miss her like I do, but she’s not… she’s not a sore spot. Right?”
“I know she loved me, and I have good memories of her,” he says quietly. “I love her, but I’m not… sad, I guess? Is that wrong?”
She squeezes his hand. “Not at all, Jojo. She wouldn’t want you to be sad anyway.”
“Okay.”
“But Dad….” She hesitates. “He hurt you in many ways, and I don’t think you’re processing it well.
It’s not your fault. It happens—sometimes we can’t handle our own feelings, and it doesn’t make us weak.
You’re not weak at all, but I do think you would benefit from therapy.
I don’t want you to grow up with unhealed wounds. ”
Joe stays silent for a moment before he concedes, “If you think therapy would work, I’ll try it.”
Ivy’s eyebrows go up, as if she had been expecting some kind of fight. “Really?”
“Yeah. I owe it to you. And to me, I guess.”
“I’ve been to therapy myself,” I feel compelled to tell him. “It really does work. You won’t regret it.”
He gives me a decisive nod, and with one hand gripping Ivy’s and the other on Joe’s shoulder, I silently tell them what they already know—I’ll always be here.
“As for flight school, I still have a few thousand dollars to go, but I think I can save up in time,” Ivy finishes explaining.
“And if you can’t, I’ll pay the difference.”
Both siblings turn in my direction, looking at me as if I’ve just grown a second head.
“You can’t be serious,” Ivy says.
“As a heart attack.”
Joe lets go of his sister’s hand at my words. His face is so unreadable, I don’t know what to make of it. Is he angry that I offered to pay for—
He throws his arms around me, giving me a tight hug that heals something inside me. I hug him back, patting him on the shoulder, hoping he understands that he will never be alone. He has his sister, and now he has me—we’re a family, the three of us.
“Thanks for taking care of her,” he whispers for my ears only.
I hug him tighter. “Always.”