Chapter 6
Jacques-Louis Campeau. It just had to be Jacques-fucking-Louis goddamned Campeau, didn’t it?
Cole swore under his breath on the way out of the police station.
The conversation with Jansen had gone surprisingly well, all things considered.
The broken arm had been an unexpected bonus and a bargaining chip; Cole had been prepared to charm the cops out of the room, threaten and badger Jansen, and work all the usual magic he did whenever he slid into a lawyer persona.
The broken arm had just made all that ten times easier, which was probably the universe’s way of making up for the bullshit he’d learned from Jansen.
And to make the day even better, Will was still waiting for him in the car. He had hoped for a hot minute that his unfortunate sidekick would see something shiny, go wandering after it, and get lost down a random side street, leaving Cole to hunt down their ex in peace.
No such luck.
As he dropped into the driver seat, he glared at Will, then started the engine.
Will let him drive for half a block or so before asking, “Well?”
“Well, what?”
The irritated sigh soothed Cole’s pissy mood a little. “Well, did you get anything out of Jansen?” He paused. “Wait, you didn’t beat him up, did you?”
“What? Why? What makes you think I beat him up?”
“Because an ambulance pulled up a few minutes ago. The timing is… suspicious.”
Cole just grinned, happy to keep that tidbit to himself if only to vex Will.
“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Will exhaled sharply. “So what did you get out of him?”
Cole acquiesced and filled in his passenger. When he got to the buyer’s name—
“Oh, God-fucking-bullshit-dammit,” Will said on a groan. “Are you serious? We have to deal with that guy?” He thumped his head back against the headrest. “I’d rather blow Marcus again.”
“I thought you liked blowing him.”
“I did, back before I knew what a festering taint barnacle he is.”
“A taint—” Cole glanced at him. “What the fuck is a taint barnacle?”
“A barnacle. On someone’s taint. Anyway, don’t change the subject. Are you sure we have to go chase down Campeau?”
“We don’t have to do anything. You’re welcome to go back to…
whatever it is you’re doing when you’re not a thorn in my side or a hole for my boyfriend’s dick.
” Cole shot him another look. “But I’m going to go find him, because like hell is Marcus getting away with fucking all of us over and scoring the Iberian Puffin payday. ”
“Ugh. When you put it like that…”
“I can drop you off somewhere if—”
“No. I’m in this till the end. Live with it.”
Cole doubted there was any point in arguing, so…fine. “As much as it kills me to even think about this, we should pay Campeau a visit.” He glanced at Will. “Do you have a passport?”
Will scoffed. “No, Cole. I pulled off that job in Prague last year using—okay, bad example, because I did bribe my way through customs and—”
“Do you have a passport with you?” Cole clarified. “Ideally one that isn’t expired or attached to your real identity?”
With an affronted huff, Will muttered, “I have three.”
“Good. Because I’m pretty sure we’re going to Canada.”
“Wait, do you actually know where Campeau lives?”
Cole laughed. “I don’t even think the guy’s wife knows where he lives.” He paused to change lanes. “What I do know is what city he likes to haunt, and more importantly, how to flush him out and get him to meet us somewhere.”
“Oh yeah?” Will’s voice was a mix of sarcasm and genuine interest. “So, what do we do—tell him we have the Mona Lisa and we’ll sell it to him for a handful of Bitcoin?”
“I mean, we could.” Cole shrugged. “But I prefer to set up a Grindr profile and seduce him via text.”
The silence almost made Cole’s ears ring. When he turned, he found Will staring at him with a hilariously perplexed expression.
In his most innocent voice, Cole asked, “What?”
Will sputtered a little, then shook his head. “I genuinely can’t tell if you’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
More silence. Long, satisfying silence.
“Have you actually done that with him before?” Will ventured.
“Twice.” Cole grinned. “Honestly, with as easily as he’s led around by his dick, you’d think he would get scammed or blackmailed more often.”
“I see.” Will still sounded skeptical. “So you just—what? Match with him? Flirt with him?”
“Pretty much. He takes a little work, probably because he’s been scammed a few times. He won’t meet up the first night you start talking to him. But if you start talking dirty, suggest a few really weird kinks that he’s never heard of…” Cole’s grin broadened. “He just can’t resist.”
“Wow. Have you ever, like, hooked up with him?”
Cole guffawed. “Oh God, no. Have you met the guy? I mean, maybe if he showed up already wearing a ball gag so there was no risk of him actually saying anything, I could’ve done it. But once that mouth starts going?” He shook his head emphatically. “Absolutely the fuck not.”
“Oh yeah?” The grin in Will’s voice made Cole brace for whatever smartass remark was undoubtedly coming. “What does he talk about? Cubism?”
“I swear to God, I will pull this car over and—”
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” Will laughed putting up his hands. “Come on—it was there. I had to.”
Cole gave him the finger.
“Okay, so you don’t hook up with him. You just get him all hot and bothered, tell him to bring bananas and a hairnet, and then grill him or whatever?”
“Pretty much.”
“Including the bananas and the hairnet?”
Chuckling, Cole said, “Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever told him to bring.”
“Oh, really? Do tell.”
“No.” Before Will could plead for more details, Cole barreled on. “I’ll set up a profile when we’re out of the car. And we’ll make travel arrangements once I know where he is.”
“Once you know—oh Jesus. He uses the same Grindr profile over and over? With the location settings turned on?”
“Hey, he might be rich, and he might know art, but that’s about the extent of it.
Dude has zero survival skills.” God, he irritated Cole.
As much as the man’s stupidity made him easy to find and confront, it pissed him off.
Especially because it never seemed to backfire and blow up in the asshole’s face.
Stupidity and recklessness to that degree should come with consequences, damn it.
“What if Marcus has given him a heads-up?” Will asked. “Told him to be cautious?”
“I doubt it. Marcus, for all he’s a—what did you call him?”
“A taint barnacle.”
“Right, for all he’s a taint barnacle, he is actually smart. And he probably knows that if Jacques-Louis suddenly changes his habits or cranks up his security, people will notice.”
“Hmm.” Will fidgeted, tapping his nails on the armrest. “Maybe? But Jansen thinks Marcus is going to sell Campeau the Puffin and trust him to keep it on the DL until things quiet down. So he can’t be completely stupid, can he?”
“Not completely,” Cole agreed. “But even then, he’ll keep up his sloppy habits once he has the Puffin because otherwise, law enforcement and thieves alike are going to come sniffing around.”
“True.” Will was blessedly quiet for a moment. “All right, then. Grindr profile, seduction, and… going to wherever Campeau is, I guess.”
“There’s still time to bail if you’re not in.”
“No, there isn’t.” Will turned an obnoxiously sweet grin on Cole. “Because I know the plan and the details, so I’d be a liability if I bailed.”
Cole gritted his teeth. “That’s less of an argument to keep you around and more one to hurl you off the George Washington Bridge on my way out of town.”
“Pfft. Please.” Will pressed back in his seat, looking so pleased with himself, Cole wanted to slap him. “Like you’d ever subject yourself to that traffic, even if it was so you could kill me.”
Cole gripped the wheel tighter and glared straight ahead.
And he had to admit… Will was right.