The Flower
It's been days, and I only have two things on my mind. The intruder who has been in my apartment, and Axel Gray. I tried thinking about anything else, but my mind just kept circling right back. And I'm starting to hate myself for it.
Z and I had called customer service to see if they had any explanation on their end as to what could have happened during the time of the break-in.
They said some sort of interference had made the cameras glitch out for a second.
Which doesn't make any sense. How does something interfere coincidentally at that exact moment in time? It's not a coincidence.
They didn’t even seem to have the slightest concern about it.
They suggested we check the apartment to make sure there weren't any electrical issues and tried to blame us for not properly installing the cameras.
I scoffed at the gaslighting and hung up the phone before I said anything I would regret.
My father knows a lot about tech. Installing cameras would be at the bottom of the totem pole for him. He could write an entire book on “cameras for dummies”. I know that isn’t a part of the issue, but what else could it be?
Scenario after scenario comes and goes like trains running through my mind. Nothing seems to make any sense. Zoe couldn't piece together anything either. She's just as clueless as I am. I’ve been fidgeting with the polaroids to the point where the corners are becoming frayed.
I mean, who does something like this? Breaks in, takes a picture of me sleeping, then leaves it for me to find with a creepy note?
Not to mention the déjà vu of them capturing me walking to my car.
I don't even want to think about anything else that may have happened each time this person paid me a visit.
Looking at this picture isn't helping me at all, but I also can’t forget this happened, because it did.
I’m convinced it is the same person who had gotten into my car a month ago, which is why daddy dearest volunteered himself to install cameras in the apartment.
The activity had died down a little since, and a piece of me hoped it was done.
So much for wishful thinking.
When I’m not thinking about that night, something else riddles the rest of my thoughts.
Axel Gray. Something about him seemed almost familiar.
The same question sticks to the forefront of my brain.
Why did he even bother to see me? I was like a game to him.
He would say something unconventional to gauge my reaction.
No one is that open about their history in their first session.
Truthful, yet facetious at the same time.
I definitely want to know more about him.
Some people use sarcasm as a form of deflection.
Not taking situations seriously is a form of coping and helps people process what's happening in the moment by making it seem unserious, even if it is.
Most people are unaware that they do this, but it is a pretty common mechanism.
Avoidance coping. The avoidance of tackling serious or uncomfortable issues or situations. Thus, making a joke or using sarcasm to lighten the problem. The funny thing is, it doesn't solve any problems. It just suppresses it for a later time, causing it to fester into a bigger issue.
I hope he sees me again. I hope I can help him. He mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. I wonder if a diagnosis has crossed his path yet. He had also mentioned guards. I’ve seen criminals before. Complex people. If he’s had run-ins with the law, I can’t help but wonder what his upbringing was like.
Trauma in childhood can have a significant impact on one's actions as an adult.
It is definitely something I need to find out.
I should look into the archives for any other files containing information about him.
I wonder if I can find the name of the psychiatrist he saw in the past. It would definitely help me get a handle on how to engage with him better and create an effective treatment plan.
Also, I can’t help but think he was flirting with me.
Like he was trying to deflect the strain written deep within.
His eyes reflected a reservation in them like he was distancing himself from the immense heaviness he has already experienced in life.
There was also a predatoriness… It was as if he was looking at me like I was a meal.
I couldn't help but feel uneasy. I need to make sure I set strict boundaries and remind him of the therapeutic relationship.
Oh god. Was I nervous?
His demeanor was pouring with confidence. I mean, looking like that, how can you not…?
Wait, what am I saying? He's your patient, Dahlia, not okay. We do not break the barrier. But those tattoos…
Nope, thinking of something else, anything else.
Cheese. Yeah, I’ll think about cheese. Cheese is great.
That reminds me, I need to go grocery shopping, anyway.
Z has been preoccupied lately with some guy she met, leaving her hardly home, and I’ve been admittedly lazy.
I’ve been sitting in bed all day rotting away, overthinking.
My body would appreciate it if I got up and did something today.
Off to the grocery store we go. I'll make a list on my way out to make sure I don't forget anything we need. I also don't want to overbuy as Z hasn't been home to eat at all. As much as I love her, this new guy is taking up a lot of her free time.
She told me she met him online. Which is scary because he could very well be a murderer. With how little she tells me about him, I’m not checking that off my list.
She pops into the apartment briefly, and it’s usually just to grab more clothes since she's been spending the night over at his place often. I never expected her to get so smitten so quickly. Maybe it's because I want to protect her. Or maybe it’s because she’s the one who protects me.
I’ll mentally note to remember to shoot her a text and ask if she even lives here anymore.