22. Hailey
22
HAILEY
Theo was waiting outside Miller Hall after my next class. I did a double-take, seeing him there.
“Have you come to visit Sunny? I knew you were sweet on her.”
He laughed. “I’m sweet on you, too, to borrow your old-fashioned expression. What are you, ninety?”
“My grandfather always said that.” It was kind of funny that I knew more old-person slang than I did for people my own age.
“Are you headed over to see Sunny now?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Can I walk with you?”
“Sure.” That was a nice surprise, but I sensed there was something Theo wanted to talk about. And I wasn’t entirely sure it was something I wanted to hear.
We walked through the quad, and I had the surprising urge to hold his hand. Before I could, he made me laugh when he pulled my bookbag off my shoulder and carried it himself.
“What?” he asked. “I thought you liked old-fashioned stuff. There’s nothing more old-fashioned than carrying your best girl’s books after school. And if you want, I’ll buy you a penny candy at the corner store.”
I giggled. “That’s from even before my grandfather’s time. That’s like Little House on the Prairie .”
Theo grinned. “What can I say? I know what the ladies want to hear.”
His tone was relaxed. His smile was genuine. And yet—I wasn’t buying it. “So why do I get the sense that you have something to say that I won’t want to hear?”
His grin faded. “Shit, am I that transparent?” He put his hand on the small of my back and steered me through a crowded area at a narrow section of sidewalk near the science building.
I shrugged and took a step away from him when we got free of the crowd. “I’ve spent a lot of time watching you.”
“Because I’m hot?” he said, making me laugh again.
“Because you’re hot,” I confirmed with a flirty smile. But we both knew we were putting off the inevitable. So when we passed by a stone bench in front of the auditorium, I tugged on his arm and led him over there. “Just tell me.”
He set my bag down and sighed. “I know that Theo got room service, too.”
Oh shit. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean?—”
He held up his hand, quieting me. “That’s not the issue I wanted to talk to you about. I just wanted to get it out in the open for the next part. We’ve had too many secrets this summer. Too many lies. I understand why you didn’t want to tell us about school, but we don’t have that much more time together. At least not living under the same roof. So we need to be honest with each other.”
“Okay.” I still felt awful. I’d never meant for him to get hurt.
Theo looked in my eyes and sighed. “Honestly, Hailey, we’re okay with it. He was hurting, and you helped cheer him up. Just like you did for me.”
“Wait, he knows that you know?” My sentence hardly made any sense, but I rushed on. “Did you guys talk about me?”
“Yeah. A little. It was the other night.”
“Why?”
“Because something else came up. Ian knows you’re a student, Hailey.”
My eyes narrowed. “Because you told him?”
“Yes, I did.”
A mixture of betrayal and anger washed over me. “Next time you decide that there shouldn’t be any more secrets between us, how about checking with me before you tell mine?”
“It’s not like that. Will you just listen? Please?”
His gray eyes were lighter in the sunlight, but I could still read the sincerity in them.
“All right.”
“I told him because of the stipend. As soon as I found out he got it, I knew how crushed you would be.”
That wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. “I’m sure his application was very strong.” And while that may have been true, I still didn’t know why the hell he applied in the first place.
“It was, but I’m sure yours was too. So here’s the thing. I didn’t find out that he’d gotten the stipend until the night before last. You’ve known for a couple of days, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been freezing him out since then, Hailey.”
“No, I haven’t. Everyone’s been busy.”
He sighed, trailing his fingers over the rough surface of the bench. “You’ve been down, don’t deny it. I had half a mind to don the French maid costume myself and show up at your room to cheer you up.”
That was an amusing image, but somehow, I wasn’t amused.
Theo continued on. “You’ve been different towards him.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I said, basically admitting that what he said was true. “But I kind of can’t help it. I needed that stipend so badly.”
“I know that. And Ian knows that. And here’s what makes this so hard.”
“What?”
“When I told him that you were a student and that you had applied too, he was devastated. Yesterday morning, he marched straight into the admin office, determined to give up the stipend so you would get it. Now wait,” he cautioned, holding up a hand. “Wait, just hear me out. For god’s sake, don’t get your hopes up.”
What did he mean? My hopes were already rising. I couldn’t believe Ian had done that for me. All the grumpy thoughts I’d had about him these last few days faded away.
“Hailey, just listen.” He put his hand on my arm. “I hate to tell you this, but you weren’t their second choice.”
“What?”
“He was going to give up the stipend so that you would get it, but it wouldn’t have gone to you, so, well, he kept it.”
And there it was. More proof that I was pretty much the dumbest student in the school, an idiot who could barely keep up with her classes. And who couldn’t even get in the top two spots for a stipend that would’ve changed my entire sophomore year. No wonder I was struggling in my class. I wasn’t smart enough to be here.
“Hailey, he was trying to do the right thing. And I was trying to do the right thing, for both of you.”
“Great,” I said. “So now both of you know how dumb I am.”
“You’re not dumb. I don’t want to hear you say that. You’re one of the brightest, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Please don’t put yourself down.”
“Why not?” I said bitterly. “Everybody else does.”
I pulled away from him, grabbing my book bag. He called out to me, but he didn’t follow, perhaps sensing that I needed space. As I walked toward the condo, I reflected on all that he’d told me, and then on my parting words. That everyone put me down, but that wasn’t true. It was kind of more life itself that kept kicking me when I was down.
And then I turned the corner and saw the beautiful, spacious condo that always lifted my spirits. Then my eyes fell on the “For Sale” sign in the window.
Yep. Life, fate, and probably the entire universe were conspiring against me.