27. Hailey
27
HAILEY
I didn’t feel truly warm until several hours afterwards, even though the guys checked me into a nice hotel where I could crank up the heat in my room as high as I wanted. Ian had even grabbed the weighted blanket before I left.
It had made me feel safe last night.
So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I’d learned so much about Ian. And a little about Grant, too. Not so much Theo at least not yesterday, but he’d been so gentle when he found out what happened to me.
The room was lovely with a queen bed and a little living room. It was much nicer than the one I’d stayed in at the beginning of the summer. I’d stayed there the day I took the job, and now I was in this one the day I left it.
Theo, Ian, and Grant have been worried about leaving me here alone last night. But they were the ones that got me out of that house when I’d been so upset. I was grateful for that. They told me that one of them could stay with me. To make sure I stayed safe. Ian even offered to sleep on the floor.
But I’d wanted to be alone, because I was just so tired. Except that wasn’t the only reason. The other was that I didn’t want to pick one to stay. I didn’t want to choose between them.
I slept straight through the night, through the breakfast buffet at the hotel, and it wasn’t until noon that I was finally alert and dressed in the jeans and t-shirt Theo had packed for me.
There was a knock on the door shortly after that. I opened it, and when I immediately had to step back and look up, I knew who it was. I stood back to let Grant in. He was carrying all my stuff—what looked like all of my stuff. There were clothes on hangers, my duffel bag, the rest of my bedding, my bookbag, and more. It looked like someone had mistaken him for a coat rack and started hanging stuff from him.
He set everything down by the dresser and immediately pulled something out of the duffel bag. Then he handed me the dark blue robe.
Seeing it was like seeing an old friend. “Thank you,” I said. “That’s the second time you’ve rescued it for me.”
To my surprise, a shadow crossed his face. I’d never seen Grant reluctant to take credit for something, but he was now. “ Yeah, but one of those times I was responsible for taking in the first place.”
I hugged the robe to my chest and looked away for a moment even though I assumed as much. And I also assumed it hadn’t been his idea. “You were partly responsible. And when you saw how upset I was, you brought it back.”
I threw the robe over my shoulders and slid my arms into the sleeves. As good as the weighted blanket had felt, this felt better. This felt like home.
Grant down at my feet. The robe ended above my ankles, so there was no danger of it tripping me. “I guess your grandpa wasn’t as tall as me,” Grant said.
“Few people are as tall as you.”
He gave a small smile at that, but mostly he seemed miserable. His next question surprised me. “What was your grandfather like?”
The question made me happy and sad at the same time. I missed him so much. Since Grant was hovering awkwardly by the door, I gestured towards the sofa in the sitting area. If he really wanted to know, I’d tell him.
“He was a good man,” I said, after Grant sat on the sofa, his legs looking impossibly long. “I didn’t tell him everything I was going through, like how I was having problems my senior of high school, and the year after when I had so many jobs, but I could have. You know? I could have if I’d wanted to.”
“What else?”
“He liked the jokes from Reader's Digest. And to white.”
Grant cocked his head to the side. “Really?”
“Yes,” I said somewhat defensively. “They had different hobbies back in his day.”
“I know, I’m just surprised because I whittle, too.”
“Really?” I couldn’t tell if he was making fun of me, or not, but I soon landed on the side of not. He told a story about how when he was a kid, he and his friends would play in the woods, pretending they had to survive out there. They were able to swipe a couple of real knives from their parents’ house, and sometimes when no one else had any time to play. He would grab a stick and start carving on it.
“What did you make?”
“Smaller sticks, usually,” he said, and I laughed. “Eventually I got good enough to make rectangles.”
I smiled at that. “I never would’ve guessed that you had something in common with my grandpa.”
“Me either. Are you ever going to sit down?” He waited until I was curled up in the armchair opposite him before he spoke again. “You really miss him, don’t you?”
“Yes. Every day. He was so excited when I got into Langley, he?—”
Grant’s head whipped around. “When you what?”
Oops.
“Seriously? If you’re a student, why the hell did you choose to spend the summer being our maid?”
Partly for that very reaction he had just had, I thought to myself. But I explained a bit about my scholarship and what it covered versus what it didn’t.
I wasn’t very surprised by his next question.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Do you mind if I table that for now? Maybe we could talk about it another time.”
“Sure.” He pushed to his feet. “You must be tired. I’ll just let you?—"
“I didn’t mean for you to leave.”
“It’s okay.” He gave me a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.
I took a deep breath and spoke directly. “I mean, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Oh.” He sat back down. “That’s a different story. Can I at least ask what your major is?”
“Social work.”
“It suits you.” He stretched his long arms out resting them on the back of the couch. And that’s when I noticed it. “What happened to your hand?” His knuckles were raw and red on his right hand.
“I punched a president.” The man from the beginning of the summer would’ve bragged about that. This man didn’t.
“Of the United States?” I asked, just to make him smile.
“No.”
I had a feeling he was waiting for my reaction. Waiting to see if I was frightened. It was odd because at the beginning of the summer, he seemed to like keeping me off balance. Always popping up where I least expected it. But yesterday and today, he’d gone out of his way to make sure I felt safe.”
“Normally, I’m against violence of all kinds,” I began. “But I think I can make an exception to that in the case of your cousin.”
Grant nodded. “He’s an exceptional guy. Or at least my whole family thinks so.”
“Then they’re morons. Is he okay?” I was slightly curious about that, but my bigger concern was if Grant was in trouble.
“He will be. Although maybe not his nose,” Grant admitted.
Was it wrong that that pleased me? Probably. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.
“I’m good.” He gave me a wry smile. “We spent enough of the summer making you fetch drinks.”
“And carrying them up the stairs. Don’t forget that part.”
He laughed. “It’s a wonder you didn’t punch both of us in the nose.”
“I couldn’t reach that high.”
It was hard to believe that I could joke like this a day after I’d been so scared. But it was like I’d finally cleared a hurdle with Grant. We were no longer pretending. Posturing.
I got to my feet.
“Did you want something to drink? It’s definitely my turn to wait on you.”
I shook my head although I definitely liked the sound of that. And a drink wasn’t what I’d had in mind when I stood. I walked to his side and sat down on the couch next to him. His arm came around me and I leaned against him. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
He ran his thumb down my arm. “So what’s next for us nocturnal creatures?”
“I don’t know.” But I liked how he’d said ‘us.’
“Theo and Ian aren’t nocturnal,” he said, and I knew exactly what he meant.
“That’s okay. They’re good for you. You guys kind of balance each other out.”
“What if all four of us do?” Grant said as he stroked my hair.
I drew in a sharp breath. I didn’t know what he meant… and also, I kind of did. I’d had some time to think when I was too comfortable to get out of bed earlier. About Theo. And Ian. And Grant. And strangely enough, about Naomi. Her situation where she lived with her boyfriend—and he just happened to have two best buddies who lived there too—was making more sense to me now. But it was still an unfamiliar concept. I’d never even been with one man. Well, at least not in the way that traditionally marked the losing of one’s virginity.
“Hailey?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you like them.”
“I do. And I like you too.” I leaned against him. His fingers stroking my hair felt amazing. And suddenly, I wanted more. This was my Night Owl. The man who’d given me my first orgasm, albeit in a remote way. But he’d heard me, so it felt like he’d been there. He’d gone from scaring me to making me feel safe. From being a guy I put up with to a guy I wanted. “Wait here,” I whispered.
He watched as I rooted through my duffel bag, but I didn’t find what I was looking for. I picked up a bag he’d set on the dresser, and suddenly, he was on his feet.
“No,” he said.
“What?”
“Don’t put it on for me, Hailey.”
“What’s wrong?”
He looked agitated. That wasn’t the response I’d expected. “It’s okay with Theo. With Ian. They have something to offer you. They’re good men. But I’m not, Hailey. And I don’t deserve anything from you.”
I abandoned my search and went to his side. “Please, come sit back down.”
“I should go.”
“Please?”
He didn’t look happy, but I took his huge hand in my small one. I was about to lead him back to the couch, but it was bright and airy over there—and we were nocturnal creatures. “Will you do something for me?”
He shook his head and looked ready to bolt for the door again. “I should probably?—”
“You said you don’t deserve anything from me,” I said, and he nodded. “But what if I deserve something from you?”
He thought that over. “What do you want?”
“Will you lay down with me and hold me like you did yesterday?”
“Hailey, I?—”
“Please?”
I thought he was going to refuse, but he went to the bed, took off his shoes and then slid under the weighted blanket. He held it up for me. I climbed in, and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me against his chest. His body was so large that more of it covered me than the blanket did.
For a long time, he just held me, which was exactly what I wanted.
And then he spoke in my ear. “I’m not a good man, Hailey. If you knew the things I’ve done…” he trailed off.
I took a deep breath, or as deeply as I could with his arms circling my stomach. “Does it have to do with why you don’t drink?”
It was almost a full minute before he answered. “Yes.” He slid back, obviously intending to get out of bed, but I turned over, reaching for him. “Please stay.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking. Or who you’re asking it to.”
I voiced the question that had been on my mind for a while. “Did someone die?” I was almost afraid to know the answer.
“No,” he finally said. “But there are other ways to ruin a life. I tried to make it right, but there are some things you can’t take back.”
“Don’t tell me.” I put a finger over his lips. “Not now. When you’re ready.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is. I said I didn’t want to talk about why I liked being a student, and you were okay with me not getting into it right now.”
He shook his head sadly. “Trust me when I say they’re not equivalent situations.”
“I know. But you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” And when I was ready to hear it. “Do Theo and Ian know?”
“No. Not the whole story. But they know I’ve changed since high school.” His lips twisted into a rueful smile. “They’re pretty much the only ones who never bought my frat-boy-who-lives-to-party act.”
“Maybe it’s time to stop acting and start living,” I whispered. And that same thing went for me, too. No more hiding who I was. No more blaming myself for things outside of my control.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “And the hard partying frat bro act has to stop anyway.”
“Because people figured out you don’t drink?”
He looked down at me and shook his head. “Because I’m not a frat boy anymore. Theo, Ian, and I quit this morning.”
My jaw dropped as I stared at him. “Really?” My jaw dropped as I stared at him.
He smiled at my surprise. “Really.”
“Was it because of?—”
“It was because of a lot of things,” he said. “And one of them is that I finally admitted to myself that my family is a bad influence on me—but also that I knew a couple of good influences. Three of them, to be exact.
His gaze lowered, and I realized that my lips were still parted in surprise. He traced my lower lip with his index finger.
I reached for him, snagging the neckline of his shirt as I tugged him toward me. He was too big to roll on top of me, but we managed, laying side by side as his mouth found mine.
His kiss was gentle. Tender. It was going to take a long time before he could interact with me without fearing he was going to scare me. Or break me. But we’d get there. And I hadn’t a feeling we wouldn’t get there alone.”
When he broke the kiss, I reluctantly let go of his shirt. “I’ve been waiting for Night Owl to do that to me for a long time.”
“Good. I want to do more with my batty little Wombat, but not right now. There are things to discuss.”
“Right,” I groaned as the real world intruded in our cozy little space. “Like where the hell am I going to live.”
“That’s one issue, but not the only one,” he said. “In case you haven’t noticed, there are now four of us looking for a new place for the fall.”
“Why?”
“Because you can’t live in a frat house if you’re not a fraternity brother.” He smiled down at me. “With one notable exception.”
It had never occurred to me that they didn’t have a place to stay now, either. “Maybe we should figure out what to do next together.”
He smiled. “That’s what the three of us thought, too. But Hailey, really think of what you want. Don’t let yourself get roped into being with us just because you have no place else to go.”
I smiled faintly. “That’s how I ended up at the frat house.”
“Well, choose better next time.”
I smiled up at him. “I intend to.”