Chapter 18
Wednesday, it rained hard during the school day, and since it turned the football field into a muddy mess, Coach Chelsea moved our practice into the gym after school.
I was more than a little jealous of the football players, whose practice got cancelled entirely.
The extra two hours to do my homework and then get ready for my mystery date with Logan would’ve been nothing short of heavenly.
But, no, instead I had to be at Jade’s side during practice.
Both at today’s practice and yesterday’s, Coach Chelsea barely looked at me.
I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing—and then I couldn’t tell which was a good thing or a bad thing.
Did I want Coach to look at me? Did I not want her to?
Did I want her to demote me from co-captain? Did I not?
I knew what Jade wanted, but what did I want?
Today, we worked on the trophy pose again. Coach wasn’t satisfied, and Jade couldn’t quite hold the ending beat.
I wiped my sweaty palms against my shorts before tightening my grip on Jen’s wrists.
Coach counted us off above the music playing over her CD-player, and my arms burned as we launched Jade into the air.
I locked onto her ankles, as if my will alone would hold her steady.
For a moment, the only sound in my head was my heartbeat.
And, for a moment, everything was perfect.
Until Jade wobbled. My gaze darted around everyone’s hands in the base, but we were all white-knuckled and holding firm. Jade was the one who didn’t balance.
The music ended, and it was punctuated by Coach’s loud sigh as Jade dropped into our basket. “Jade,” Coach began, walking over. “Haven’t you been working on your core like we talked about?”
“Of course!” she returned, light voice echoing. “My base just doesn’t feel reliable. I can feel it waver.”
The muscles in my shoulders ached. We hadn’t wavered.
And Coach knew it. Her eyes were sharp as she eyed Jade, weighing her next words. “Madison. I want you to lead cool-downs today.”
I froze under her zeroed-in stare until Jade jumped up between us. “Of course, Coach, we can—”
Coach Chelsea interrupted. “Just Madison.”
Sweat slid down my spine. All the girls seemed to shift awkwardly. Jade fell in line with the rest of the girls, staring at my shoes while I faced the rest of them.
For a long moment, it was like my brain had no idea how to move forward. I felt like a fraud standing before everyone. They had no idea I’d asked to jump ship as the co-captain on Monday. And maybe that was why Coach put me on the spot—to make me squirm.
“Let’s start with some cross body shoulder stretches,” I told the girls, voice quivering only just a little. “Make sure to really pull your arm across—you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
As I led the girls through the stretches, I could feel my own body begin to loosen in tandem with my slowing heartbeat.
The tension of being put on the spot faded slowly into the background, my leader side taking over.
I couldn’t feel the sunlight on the skin or smell the cut grass in the air, but there was still something almost magical about all of us stretching out a good practice together.
“All right, let’s move onto hamstring stretches,” I said, giving my hands a small clap. “Everyone, take a seat!”
We all eased to the floor, spreading our legs out, and leaning into touch our toes. I murmured encouragements and counted down with everyone, eyes bouncing over each girl.
As I played my role of co-captain for one of the final times, a strange thought trickled through my head: did I like this?
I’d been on the cheer squad all throughout high school, and I’d always loved it.
Or, I’d always thought I loved it. But now, I couldn’t help but wonder—did I actually love it, or did I only enjoy it because Jade did?
My eyes slid to where Jade sat among the girls. Her ponytail fell over one shoulder, and she was reaching to touch her toes, but her eyes were now laser-focused on me. For a weird moment, I almost thought she could read my mind.
She blinked, lips spreading into a slow smile, one that didn’t touch her eyes. She looked away before I could smile back.
When we were finished with the final stretch, she rose to her feet and headed toward her duffle bag. I trailed at her heels, like a string tethered. “Do you think—”
“Can you believe homecoming week is next week already?” Riley hustled up to the front of the pack, sticking to Jade’s side like glue. “And that homecoming court gets announced Friday morning. You’ll definitely be on it, Jade.”
Homecoming court at Brentwood High was even more prestigious than being prom queen.
Much flashier, too. Three senior couples, two junior couples, one sophomore couple, and one freshman couple were nominated for homecoming court got to ride in the homecoming parade in their dresses, walk out onto the field during the halftime performance at the game, and got a special spotlight at the dance.
Every girl wanted to be on homecoming court, surely—and every girl wanted to be queen.
Jade would take the crown, of course, with Connor at her side as king. This year, it was essentially just a formality. But still, just the nomination alone meant an automatic spotlight in front of the entire community. It was an honor.
“Madison will be nominated, too,” Jade said to the surrounding cheerleaders, and her voice was light and full of confidence. She finally looked at me. “You and Landon, for sure. We all put in enough votes, didn’t we, girls?”
All the squad members nodded their heads vigorously. Monday was when ballots were passed out for homecoming court during homeroom, and everyone had the chance to write down names. Of course, Jade and Connor would be on it, hopefully Landon and I, and as for the third senior couple—
“Do you think I’ll be on it?” Riley asked, batting her eyelashes. “You had people vote for me, too, didn’t you, Jade?”
Jade hauled her duffle bag over her shoulder. “Swear to God.” She flashed Riley a smile—another one that didn’t seem to reach her eyes. I felt a bit better that I wasn’t the only one she gave it to. “What are you doing today, Madison?”
“Me?” The sudden attention from her and everyone in the group had me clamming up. “Not much. Homework.”
“We had homework?” Riley frowned. “What class?”
“Math.” Didn’t we?
“I was going to ask if you wanted to get your nails done, but it looks like you already did.” She cast a look at my hands.
“Oh. Just at home.” My stress was beginning to compound. “I just—”
“Ohmygosh,” Riley squealed, pulling her phone up to her chin. “Kyle just texted me—he said someone’s in the kissing closet!”
The kissing closet—the same closet Jade had pulled me into the other morning before school. Honestly, people didn’t even use it for kissing much anymore—Jade and Connor only ever used it last year to fight in private during school hours.
The few girls in the squad who’d been trailing us to the parking lot all pivoted, hurrying off to catch a glimpse of the gossip firsthand.
“Let’s go,” Jade said, readjusting her duffle bag and her course.
She and Riley turned away from the double doors and started to head back down the hallway, to where the closet was.
Jade noticed I didn’t follow. “You’re not coming? ”
I fought the urge to glance at my phone and note the time—time which I so didn’t have. If I wanted to shower before meeting up with Logan, I had to leave, like, five minutes ago. “I actually—”
“You’re not curious?” Riley demanded. “I mean, the kissing closet is Top Tier only, so it’s got to be—”
“It’s cool.” Jade cut her off smoothly. “Mads can catch up on Babble later.”
The cold feeling slid down my spine again, but I didn’t have time to second guess it. “Text me,” I told her. “And text me pictures if it’s seriously juicy.”
Riley continued to frown, but Jade at least smiled back. “Deal.”
We went in opposite directions then, them delving deeper into the school while I headed for the double doors that led out into the parking lot. Before shoving through them, I turned around one last time.
They walked down the hallway, Riley’s arm looped through Jade’s, and I had a brief thought that that must’ve been what I looked like from the back. My arm in Jade’s, Jade’s head held high. Normally, jealousy would’ve surged through me at the idea of Riley taking my place.
Today, though, as I watched them walk away together, I only felt relief that I didn’t have to go with them.
I understood rom-coms so much more since meeting Logan.
Anytime girls in movies would try on their whole closet and throw it to the floor, or agonize over getting their hair to lay just right, or even applying, scrubbing off, then re-applying their makeup always seemed so excessive.
Strutting the halls so everyone in school could see you? Sure, you needed to make a good impression. But all that work over a guy?
Turned out that I just hadn’t met the right guy. I’d rather die than let Kyle be the reason my entire wardrobe ended up on my floor, but Logan?
Worth every single wrinkle.
I immediately jumped into the shower when I got home from practice, because there was no way I was going to climb into Logan’s car hoping my perfume did a good enough job covering my sweat.
In the shower, I did everything—exfoliated, shaved, applied a hair mask.
I even brushed my teeth right there under the stream. And then I agonized over an outfit.
The mystery of whatever he had planned made it feel so impossible. Did I wear shorts? Jeans? A skirt?
On the drive home from practice, Logan had texted.
Logan
No spirit gear.
please, I’d never wear spirit gear on a date
Logan
Never should’ve doubted you ;)
I’d smirked at the winking emoji. Like a dweeb.
Don’t get out of the car or anything when you get here, I’ll be right out
Logan
so DON’T open your car door for you??
What is this, the 1940s?
Logan
:(