Chapter 29 #2
“Jade wouldn’t do that,” I grumbled.
“She so would, and you know it.”
Yeah, fine. She would. Or, more likely, she’d have Riley do it. “But—”
“No buts. Please. Just go, have fun, and I’ll pick you up after.”
It was the almost pleading tone to his voice that had me giving in. “Do you have a curfew?” I asked him. “We could watch a movie after or something.”
“Deal. Where’s your mom?” Logan looked around the house, taking it in for the first time. Our house wasn’t that big—it didn’t need to be, for the two of us—so we ended up in the living room pretty quickly. “I was hoping to meet her.”
“At the dance already. She was on setup duty. I told her she’d meet you at the dance, and now…” I gave a theatrical shrug. “She’ll be bummed she missed you.”
Logan abruptly stopped in the middle of the living room, turning to me. “I didn’t get the chance to properly tell you,” he began, blinking fast. “I should’ve done it the second you opened the door. I mean, with my track record, who’s surprised—”
“Who’s the rambler now?”
Logan let out a short breath through his nose before something in him softened. “You look beautiful.” His gaze was jerky as it dropped from my eyes to my dress, bouncing over the sequins, before coming back up. “Last night, I thought my heart was going to stop.”
Now it was my turn to scrunch my nose, but I reached for him as if magnetized. My fingers plucked up one of the strings from his hoodie. “Cheesy.”
“It’s true. I’m a cheeseball.” Logan delicately laid his hand on my hip, the touch light, as if he was nervous to do so. His eyes traced over every inch of my face. “I’m sorry I’m not braver to go with you tonight. I just… this is something I can’t do.”
I tipped my chin down. “You can’t handle it?”
“No.” There was no humor in his voice. “I can’t.”
I wanted to push him, to tell him that if we were together, we could do anything.
There was clearly something about the idea bothering him, though, worrying him enough to pinch at his face.
And I didn’t want that. So, smoothing a hand down the front of his T-shirt, I simply murmured, “Just remember that you owe me.”
Logan gave a reverent nod before he let me go, suddenly stepping back.
He slid his phone out of his back pocket, and I watched as he tapped the screen.
Suddenly, one of Untapped Potential’s acoustic songs began playing, and he upped the volume to the max before setting it on the cluttered coffee table.
Logan offered a hand out. “Walk a bout with me?”
I raised my eyebrows, fighting a smile as I extended my hand. “Excuse me?”
“I’m asking you to dance,” he mused, curling his fingers around mine. “In geek speak.”
“Is it a Romeo and Juliet sort of thing?”
“Kind of.”
Logan, with his warm and steady grip, pulled me into a slow rhythm in the center of the living room.
The soft music played between us, but I barely heard it over the sound of my own heart.
This wasn’t quite the same as slow dancing underneath the homecoming lights, but it was close.
Actually, it was almost better. To be in Logan’s arms without anyone watching us, stuck in a moment that was just us.
Something occurred to me, and I narrowed my eyes. “Your play is coming up soon, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, next weekend.” He had on a sort of awkward smile. “It’s okay if you don’t want to come.”
I’d been on the fence about going, mostly because I was afraid I’d cringe at the sight of Logan on a stage. But that was the shallow part of me talking, wasn’t it? “Are you Romeo?”
Logan dropped the smile part and just looked plain awkward. “Ah. No.”
“Oh, you’re embarrassed. Are you the friar guy, or whoever? The church guy?”
He closed his eyes. “No, I’m… Paris.”
I pictured Paris from the 2016 version Mom and I had just watched, and scrunched my nose with a small grin. “So, I’ve been calling you Romeo all this time, when I really should’ve been calling you Paris. You should’ve corrected me.”
“Yes, because being the guy who doesn’t get the girl is a lot cooler than the one who does.” Logan pulled me closer, his left hand settling on my hip while his right held mine. “If I’m going to die in the end, I might as well get a taste of what I want, right?”
I pinched the top of his shoulder. “No one’s dying.”
“If things fall apart,” he amended, “I might as well get a taste of what I want, right?”
“Things won’t fall apart. Sheesh, you’re such a pessimist.”
Logan groaned a little as he pulled me closer. “I feel like we switched roles. I’m worrying about the secret coming out, you’re… not.”
Theoretically, I should’ve been even more alarmed since Jade knew the truth.
I was no longer dreading the other shoe to drop—in fact, I was almost anticipating it.
I knew I should tell him that Jade knew, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the moment now.
After the dance, I decided. I’d tell him after the dance.
“I’m just happy.” I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. “Can’t I be happy?”
Logan’s gaze scanned mine, his head slowly nodding. “That’s exactly how I want you.”
The song picked up in tempo, but only a little, and Logan matched our pace to it.
I felt like I could close my eyes and fall asleep in his arms while simultaneously feeling like I’d stuck my finger in an outlet.
Relaxed, but alive. Calm, electrified. It was a strange contrast, one that barely made sense, but in Logan’s arms, I felt it all.
Logan Castle was everything I never knew I needed. I didn’t recognize the girl I’d been before him, but this one—the girl who didn’t care about what others thought so long as this beautiful boy with blue eyes smiled down at her—was one I liked. A lot.
With a slight grin, Logan raised our hands and guided me into a slow spin, and I twirled beneath his arm.
As I turned back, my heel caught in the carpet, bumping me into Logan’s chest. His hands found my waist as he steadied me, and my palms rested lightly on his chest, and we were close.
Closer than we’d been before. Our laughter faded, replaced by something quieter, heavier.
His eyes flicked to my mouth, just for a second, and my breath caught. Since I was in heels, I didn’t have to push onto my tiptoes. All I had to do was close my eyes and lean forward.
“I can’t.” The words were dragged from him, ripped out, almost pained in quality. It reflected on Logan’s expression, too, brows drawn together as if there was some physical ache inside him. “I—I can’t kiss you.”
“Why?” It was a soft, curious whisper, because can’t was a strange word.
Logan’s hands, which had been pulling me closer moments ago, surely seemed eager enough.
His pulse, which I’d felt at the base of his throat, also seemed to want it.
Can’t. “Do you have a secret girlfriend you haven’t told me about? ”
A bit of his pinched frown cleared as the absurd thought hit him, cracking his tension for a moment. “No.” He opened his eyes, finding mine. “But I… can’t kiss you.”
The living room was near steamy now—or maybe it was just me. Heat pooled underneath my hair, trapped beneath the material of my dress. We weren’t far apart at all, but the scant inches he’d stopped at seemed so far away. Too far.
I didn’t miss Logan’s emphasis, whether intentional or not. I can’t kiss you. Whatever his reasoning, he couldn’t bring himself to close the gap.
But I liked to think of myself as a good co-captain—I knew when to take the lead.
So, I took Logan’s face in my right hand, my tips of my fingers pressing into the hair at the nape of his neck, and I brought his lips to mine.
A soft exhale escaped his lips, like he’d been holding a breath he could finally let out.
The tension that wound his body tight seemed to ease, his shoulders relaxing the second our lips touched.
Logan’s were velvety soft, exactly how I’d imagined them to be against mine, and for a moment, we both stayed still, savoring the first touch.
Then Logan’s hand settled back to my waist, five fingers becoming a steady pressure, tugging me closer.
His lips became a confident pressure on mine now, giving in to the desire and forgetting whatever it was that held him back.
Logan kissed me deeply, my top lip first captured between his, and then my bottom, each given its own kind of spotlight.
My fingertips slid a little higher into his hair, anchoring myself to him.
The anticipation of this moment had been building for weeks, all leading here, to this explosive moment in the middle of my living room.
My first kiss. Another thing I’d dreamed about, wondered about, finally happening.
Logan’s mouth was sure, but his hands were tentative, holding me, but never too tightly.
Letting me lead. Letting me go, if I wanted to.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine this moment being with anyone else.
I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest. And if Logan hadn’t broken away with a gasp when he had, I was sure it would’ve.
Logan immediately dropped his forehead to mine. He trembled a little, as if he’d finished running a marathon and not kissing me senseless. “Madison,” he whispered. Just my name, gasping the word like it was a prayer.
Every inch of me was electrified, zapped awake and to attention, and aware of every point our skin touched. “Logan.”
“This is all my fault.”
I chuckled. “If I recall, I was the one who leaned in first—”
Logan lifted his head, his brows so horribly creased as if he were in pain. “If I hadn’t gone to Brentwood, you could go to homecoming with someone. Your friends wouldn’t be falling apart. You wouldn’t be—you wouldn’t be worried about what Jade finding out. If I could go back—”
I kissed him mid-sentence, and though it was less intense than our first, it was determined and firm.
A spark still jolted through me at the contact.
I pulled back, settling on my heels. I was right to not have told Logan that Jade knew about us, to not have told him about his Babble debut, and everything in between.
Mr. I Can Handle It would’ve tried to have taken matters into his own hands, but I could take care of it myself.
If it meant easing his fears, I’d keep it bottled up forever.
“I’d still be Miss Peak in High School without you,” I said. “Maybe not the label exactly, but I’d still be on the wrong path. And if I could go back, I’d choose you. Every time.”
There was definitely pain in his eyes, swimming in the blue. This time, his forehead fell down to my shoulder, and I could feel his breath on my bare collarbone. “It isn’t fair,” he murmured into my skin. “The hold you have on me isn’t fair.”
“It isn’t?” I murmured teasingly, combing my fingers through his hair. “I kinda like it.”
Logan didn’t reply, but clung to me. His hair brushed my cheek as I leaned my head against his, breathing in his deep scent, savoring this moment. I wondered if he was doing the same—committing it to memory, basking in the warmth of it.
“I’m so very chalant about you, Logan Castle,” I said, a faint smile on my lips.
Logan pulled back again, but not lifting his head fully, looking up into my eyes. I’d never, ever forget how blue they were in that moment. “There’s no part of me that’s not yours.”
My lips parted at the intensity of his comment, feeling it hit me straight in the heart.
The whole moment itself seemed so strange—me in a glittering dress, him in jeans and a Bobcats sweatshirt, both of us in the middle of my quiet living room—but I’d never forget it.
I was sure I’d dream about it—tonight, tomorrow, and every time I closed my eyes after.
Logan picked my hand up, looking at my fingers as he turned them over. “Let’s get you to your homecoming dance before I change my mind and ask you to stay with me.”
My head still was spinning, but I said, “Or I convince you to come with me?”
“Or that.”
Hand-in-hand, Logan and I walked through the house, through the door, and out to his car.
As much as I wished he was coming with me, this was special all on its own.
I’d never forget the way we’d danced to Untapped Potential in my living room, or the way Logan’s mouth felt against mine, or the way his head all but collapsed on my shoulder from the shock of it all.
I hadn’t even gotten to the dance yet, but I knew for certain. I’ll remember this night forever.