Chapter 12
“W e need to talk.”
I glanced up from my screen before quickly surveying my surroundings, my heart in a near panic. Luckily, my team had already left for lunch, so the surrounding desks were empty. Still, I didn’t want to spend any time alone with Carly.
I could see the hurt and confusion written on her face, and I felt a small pang of guilt. Seeing her brought everything back—her hand on my thigh, her face upturned towards me as if it were a give-in that I would close the distance and kiss her.
And for a brief moment, I was tempted. The only thing that had stopped me was my love and loyalty to Frankie. I loved my wife and I couldn’t betray her.
A vision of Frankie’s beautiful face, wracked in pain when I returned from my trip, pierced an even bigger shame within me. Frankie had seen what I’d refused to see. I could no longer look her in the eye and claim ignorance over my friendship with Carly.
I’d been avoiding Carly for the past two weeks. Whenever she stopped by my desk, I kept our conversation short and professional. I turned down her invites to lunch, even when it was with a group of people. I ignored all her texts asking to meet up for a chat. I directed our messages to the company chat channels we used to communicate between departments.
I wanted to focus on fixing my marriage, not dwell on what could’ve happened with Carly.
Two weeks had passed since my trip and things were still awkward between my wife and I. I tried hard to sway our rhythm back to how it used to be, but I could feel an invisible wall between us. Now and then I’d catch her looking at me with an unsettled look in her eye; as if she were seeing me in a different light for the first time. I was probably being paranoid.
Tomorrow was our first therapy session and I was already dreading it. I didn’t want to talk to a stranger about my issues, but the look of desperation on Frankie’s face had convinced me. I didn’t want to keep letting her down.
“Sure.” I pushed my chair back to give more space between us. “What’s up?”
Her brow rose at my casual tone. “You’ve been avoiding me since our trip.”
I subtly checked again that no one was nearby. What the fuck was she doing? I couldn’t risk anyone overhearing us. Ben and Mike had already sensed something was going on. I couldn’t have it spread like wildfire if the wrong person overheard. “Carly. This isn’t appropriate.”
She scoffed. “Because your wife doesn’t like it?”
I shook my head at her in warning. “Don’t talk about my wife.”
Twin red spots painted her cheeks, but she was undeterred. “Did you tell her what happened on the trip?”
My face reddened before I gritted out, “ Nothing happened on the trip.”
She shook her head at me, pity lining her features. “C’mon, Drew. Maybe we didn’t physically do anything, but we almost did. I know you feel guilty, but you can’t deny that there’s something there between us. Even before our trip.”
I shook my head furiously in denial. “I love my wife.”
“That may be true. But tell me; if you loved her so much, there wouldn’t have been any room to grow closer to another woman. And that’s what you’ve been doing.”
My mouth opened before snapping shut. Part of what she said rang true. I also couldn't deny that whenever she texted me or sought me out, a quiet thrill would travel through me. I’d also shared things with Carly that I should never have. Things that should’ve been for Frankie’s ears only. So why was it so easy to confide in Carly?
“We almost kissed that night,” she continued, sensing a weakness in my armor. “I have no doubt that we would’ve done more –”
“No,” I firmly rebutted. “No fucking way.” I knew to my bones that I would never have gone any further. There was no way I could physically betray Frankie like that.
But you did betray her in every other way.
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. I was pissed at this whole fucked up situation. I was pissed off at Carly for her insinuation. But most of all, I was pissed off at myself.
Carly had a point. What she said earlier raised alarm bells in me. I loved Frankie. I couldn’t envision my life with anyone but her.
So why, then, did I feel myself drawn to Carly? Why did I share things with her that I’d never done with Frankie? Why were things just…easy? And why did I find myself in the position I was in that Saturday night?
Loud laughter approached us, and I almost sagged in relief. I needed to get out of here.
Carly’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I almost jerked my arm away.
“Just think about it.” She strolled away then, her parting words ringing in my ear.