Chapter 39
“B ye, Mommy,” I picked up Alani’s small arm and waved it at the window.
We watched Frankie take one last look at my apartment before she climbed into her car and drove away. I stayed at the window for a few minutes longer, watching the empty space. I could only imagine the conflict she was feeling. A single mom, knowing she had to work to support her child, leaving her baby with…who was I to her? I knew who she was to me—my whole heart. The woman I would live to regret losing for the rest of my life.
When Sene called me at ass o’clock this morning, pleading with me to do Frankie this favor; his begging wasn't needed. It was a no-brainer for me to say yes. I didn’t even have to think about it. This was Frankie’s first big job after having Alani.
When we’d spoken at Nellie’s dinner party, she’d excitedly and nervously confided in me about the four hundred-plus wedding party she’d been hired to work. It was the biggest wedding she’d ever done, and this beautiful, talented artist was worried that she wouldn’t measure up.
“Frankie, you so got this,” I’d assured her. My hand itching to grasp hers, to show her how much I supported her, how proud I was of her. Instead. I had to physically sit on my hands to keep from reaching out. “You can do this with your eyes closed.”
Her tan cheeks had flushed a pretty pink, and she suddenly had trouble meeting my eyes. “Thank you,” she’d whispered. It was our last conversation that night, and I savored every word spoken between us.
I was happy that I had a chance to support her. Sure, some might say it was a little extreme to offer to watch the baby of your ex, but it wasn’t something that crossed my mind.
Okay, sure, there was a brief moment when Frankie had placed Alani in my arms that I almost froze. Frankie had been watching closely, her mama eyes ready to snatch Alani away if I showed an iota of uncertainty.
When I’d held Alani the first time at Nellie’s, she’d been fast asleep. My eyes had roamed her sleeping features, noting how similar they were to Frankie’s. It had been manageable then. Barely. I’d been wholly unprepared to see her daughter, but I’d just about made it to the privacy of Nellie’s bathroom before the tears came.
This time, I was sure I would be ready and put together.
But I wasn’t prepared for how different it would be seeing Alani awake and alert, staring wide-eyed at me. It was then that I had a proper look at the color of her eyes. They were more hazel than brown. The shape of them also differed from Frankie’s. They were wide-eyed and rounded. Even her hair was a lighter shade of brown, almost copper in the morning light.
This baby was half Frankie and half… his . That was when it hit me. That was when I almost froze.
But then Alani reached up and tugged at my ears and what could I do but smile? Especially when she flashed me that gummy grin with her two bottom teeth, and the little dimples that matched Frankie’s had peeped out of her left cheek. And, slowly, I began to relax.
When Frankie cooed at Alani to be good for me, a part of me balked at her use of my name. For a brief moment, I craved to hear a more intimate title bestowed on me. One that belonged to another man.
“Okay, princess. It’s just you and me, kid.” I bounced her in my arms, which produced a few giggles.
“Frankie didn’t say whether we could have screen time, but I had a look and there’s someone called Ms Raquel that’s rated high with parents.”
Alani gazed at me in silent wonder, her eyes dropping to my moving lips before meeting my stare. Then her little eyes bounced to the window where we’d last seen Frankie before they searched the room, obviously searching for her mom. Her little pink mouth turned down, and her big eyes filled with tears.
“Uh, oh.”
The wailing started then, and I immediately cradled her gently against my chest. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. Mommy will be home soon. She just has some big, important things to do today.”
I fucked up because, at the mention of her beloved mommy, her cry picked up in volume. Her chubby face turned red, and tears ran unchecked down her smooth cheeks. Tenderness at her situation overcame me, and I held her close, walking around the room and rubbing her back in soothing circles. I whispered nonsensical things in her ear, telling her about the fun we’d have and how her Uncle Sene would be over to hang with us.
Almost thirty minutes later, her little body sagged against mine, and her sobs started to die down. Little hiccups wracked her body until, eventually, her head slowly came down and rested on my shoulder. A warmth bloomed inside me at the gesture, and a smile curved my mouth despite my earlier stress from calming her.
From the corner of my eye, I saw her long lashes slowly rest against her cheeks. I watched her still face for a few moments, her head turned towards me, her sweet breath coming out in small puffs, with the occasional shudder.
Frankie did say that she had to wake her up earlier than usual and that she’d snoozed for about forty minutes on the car ride down. All the excitement and upset must’ve gotten to her again.
I brought my hand up and cradled her head, marveling at how big my hand was against her soft hair. She had that baby smell that made little old ladies coo and pinch cheeks. Although, I certainly wasn’t immune to it.
I looked around the room, wondering where to put her. I considered laying her down in my room but didn’t want to risk waking her. There was only one option. I slowly walked to my recliner and carefully lowered myself onto the seat. I paused when she snuffled, but then she settled back down.
I switched on the TV to a low volume and relaxed back as she slept on my chest.
“Ah, this isn’t so bad.”
I’d spoken too soon.
Alani napped for just over an hour before she woke up, took one look at me, and resumed screaming. I scrambled to warm her bottle and breathed a sigh of relief when she quietened down. When she didn’t return to crying after she finished eating, I prayed that she was finally starting to get used to me.
We sat on the floor together, and I spent about twenty minutes pulling faces while she giggled away. The sound was music to my ears, and that warmth now spread to my bones. There wasn’t a better sound than Alani’s laugh, in my opinion.
Once she was bored with that, I went through all the nursery rhyme songs I knew before I took out her wooden blocks to build. Well, I had fun building; Alani just swiped them down, giggling maniacally.
By the time Sene was off shift and had come over, my little buddy and I had gone through all my bag of tricks to keep her entertained. We were now watching Ms Raquel teach us how to make O sounds.
“Wow, dude,” he laughed as he surveyed the mess. “Having fun, are we?”
I chuckled as Alani babbled away, sucking on her fingers. “I am, actually. She and I have a routine going on.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
“Throw everything but the kitchen sink at the wall and see what sticks. Isn’t that right, cutie?” She cackled as I tickled her belly.
Sene lowered his big body down on the floor with us. Alani flashed him her sweet, gummy smile before handing him a block she’d been drooling on. Sene just grinned and took the toy without hesitation. A flash of envy speared my stomach at how comfortable Alani was with Sene. She’d seen him a lot more than me. I shoved the silly feeling aside.
“How was Frankie this morning?”
I nodded, watching Alani closely as she jiggled her teething keys. “Good. She was nervous about leaving Alani and about her job. She’s checked in a few times, but I think she trusts me now. I just want her to focus on her job and not worry, ya know?”
Sene gave Alani’s cheek a little tickle, and I felt Alani’s little hand grasp my thigh and tighten on it. My cheek pulled up that she was seeking my comfort. I bent down and placed a kiss on her chubby cheek.
Sene watched me with a curious expression before he stood up with a sigh. “I’m gonna order in some lunch. Want some?”
“Yes, please. Could you also warm up the crushed pear that’s in the fridge? Not too hot.”
His lip quirked. “Sure.”
We ate our food with the musical notes of some nursery song playing in the background. I scoffed down my burger as I watched Alani shove crushed pear and soft broccoli in her mouth, even though she’d gotten more of it on her face and hair than anywhere else.
“You’re good with her,” Sene noted.
I shrugged as I grabbed her bag of wipes. “She’s easy to like.”
“Because she’s Frankie’s?”
I glanced at Sene, who was watching me with that same curious look. “Yeah,” I admitted. ‘Because she’s Frankie’s.”
He wiped the sauce off his mouth, shaking his head. “Honestly? I thought that would be the reason you didn’t want to bond with Alani. I half expected you to turn me down when I called.”
I was silent for a moment as I wiped Alani’s face, my eyes crinkling as her lip pouted while I scraped dried pear from her mouth.
“I’ve let Frankie down enough,” I finally replied. “There’s no way I’m letting her down this time.”