Chapter 18
Cursing violently, I take the turn a little too fast, and for a moment, I worry I’m going to flip the SUV. Thank fuck all the wheels stay down—or at least two of them do. Allesandro stopped responding way too long ago, but I can’t do shit about it when I’m stuck driving.
“He won’t make it long enough to get to Sarah. I need to bring him back with me,” I grit out, smashing my foot down and internally begging the SUV to go faster. If a cop wants to pull me over right now, he’ll wish for a better life choice, because it would be the last one he’d make.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Antonio cuts in. “Let the asshole die then.”
Growling, I slam my hand on the wheel. My friend is lucky he’s not near me, because he’s at risk of getting his head bashed in. “Whatever you think of him, he just took a bullet for me. You haven’t even given him a chance!”
“Enough.” Carter’s voice interrupts our argument. “Bring him here. I’ll have Doc start getting things ready.”
“Thank you,” I breathe out. “I’m about ten minutes away…”
“Exactly how fast are you going?” Keegan growls. My eyes flick down to the speedometer and I cringe. It’s best not to answer that one. Lying to my Dom and lover is not on my to-do list for the day…
I lapse into silence as orders fly, focusing only on the road in front of me, and begging for Allesandro to make a noise—any noise. Fuck, I’ll take a goddamn groan right now. Anything other than this silence that’s somehow louder than the men talking over each other.
It doesn’t take me quite ten minutes. I make it in nine instead. The tires screech as I come to a halt, and thank fuck Doc is already waiting outside, along with his staff and a stretcher. I scramble out of the SUV, opening the back door as the medical professionals converge.
Shouts echo around me, with orders about needing supplies and staunching blood, but it doesn’t touch me.
It can’t. I manage to touch Allesandro, whose skin is rapidly cooling, and it’s almost too much for me.
The cold ignites a heat inside me, rapidly razing my soul to ashes at the thought of losing him.
Fuck. I wish I had called him Sandro… I wish I had taken a moment to reassure him that I did care about him, as far more than just a former Master.
He’s the one who taught me to be War. He saved me from dying. He gave me Keegan when he didn’t have to, and brought me joy with Cole. And now? Now, it may be too late for me to make my peace completely.
“You can’t go any further,” Doc snaps at me.
I blink, not realizing we’ve made it to the medical wing. Hell, I didn’t even realize I was following. I can’t say anything, as the lump in my throat is too thick, so I nod, falling back. Doc dismisses me with nothing more than a single glance as he breaches the surgery doors.
I stand there, not sure what to do. My heart is with Allesandro, while my brain is frozen on the image of him taking the bullet, and my body screams from the stress of watching someone else I care about collapse.
“Come on.” I jump at Keegan’s touch, turning to him in confusion. “You need to rest.”
“No, he needs to give a full report.” Antonio bumps Keegan out of the way. “What was Cecily there for? Is it safe to send the twins back?”
I stare at my best friend, but right now, I don’t even recognize him. Fuck. I shake my head, trying to put the pieces of me back together. He opens his mouth again, but I hold up a hand, needing him to shut the fuck up.
“Do you not even care?” I whisper, the tension bleeding into every word, as I stare into Antonio’s brown eyes. They're usually warm, but right now, they’re almost iced over.
He rubs his face, tracing the scar along his cheek, before dropping his hand. “Sure I care. I care that he’s still breathing when he shouldn’t be.”
“What the fuck?” I stumble backward, my hands shaking at the desire to hit Antonio, but I force it back. “He took a bullet for me. That wasn’t even the first time he’s saved me. Hell, he saved you. Or do you not remember that, Mattress?”
Antonio hisses at the reminder of his nickname from the days he was forced to be a street whore, and I flinch at the fury that flashes across his face.
Still, I hold my ground. He should know better.
Allesandro rescued him, brought him into the Family, and fucking gave him everything.
Hell, we used to joke that he was the most spoiled of us all.
And now, he just…walks away? That easily?
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he hisses. “You know my past. I will never forgive that man for hurting Lio. He should be dead.”
“And if he was dead already, then I’d have been killed tonight. Fuck you. What he did was wrong, but it’s not for us to pass judgment on this. That was Lio’s call, and he and the Council let Allesandro live. If you have a problem with it, get the fuck over it.”
“And if I don’t want to?” Antonio growls, stepping into my personal space.
I give him a warning glare, but he doesn’t step back.
“I swear…if you don’t back off, I will take you down.
Allesandro…you barely know his history. Hell, I don’t even know all of it, but I know more than most. I’m not excusing him, but fuck.
He saved us, gave us new lives, and fucking gave us a family—true family.
At least, that’s what I thought we were. ”
“Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe it’s a damn good thing you chose to go with the De Lucas, because I wouldn’t have you at my back if your judgment is this fucked up.”
I rear back, unable to believe he’d cut me that deep.
My jaw drops as I stare at the man I considered my best friend, my brother, an uncle to my son, but now the truth is out.
The reality is on the walls, and it may as well be painted with blood, because I thought that was the only thing we didn’t have together.
A blood bond. Instead, it was trust, respect, and fucking love.
“You…you just want to walk away?”
He shrugs one shoulder, not meeting my eyes. “If you think I’m ever going to care about that man…”
“Hell, all I ask is that you aren’t actively wishing for his death! Or, if you are, keep it to your damn self! He. Saved. My. Life. Not to mention, he loves us—all of us. Whether you believe it or not.”
Antonio fists his hair, stomping his foot as he struggles against my words. “You…I idolized the asshole! And now…”
Softening my voice, I say, “I understand. The situation is fucked. But…things aren’t black and white in this life. You know that. With what he went through, and his past…can’t you at least let me have him in my life?”
Antonio’s eyes finally meet mine again, and it steals my breath. They’re hard, unforgiving. “No. You need to choose. Him or me?”
I wonder for a moment if this is some type of nightmare. Nothing makes sense. My heart hammers inside my chest, my mouth is dry, and I struggle against the urge to vomit. Because fuck, being ripped in two is exactly what he’s offering me.
It takes me three attempts to get it out, but finally, I manage to say, “I refuse.”
Antonio’s face scrunches up and he stares at me in disgust, and fuck, possibly hurt. I’m not sure. Eventually, his expression smooths out, and with cold finality, he responds, “Fine. Then I renounce our friendship, and fuck, I hope Keegan teaches Cole better than you can.”
Ice slides down my veins. He did not just bring my son into this. Fiery anger chases the cold and I snap, slamming him against the wall. “What. The. Fuck?”
He pushes me away, sneering. “Exactly what I said. You don’t deserve to be a father. No wonder you lost Amy.”
I freeze. Unable to move. Unable to breathe. Unable to fucking think.
“Alright, that’s enough.” Jude’s voice is harsh, but neither Antonio nor I glance away from each other, the hatred burning between us.
“You asshole. You think you’re better than me?
” I whisper. “We’re supposed to be friends.
Brothers. There’s a man in the next room who may die for me.
And all you care about is being right, isn’t it?
You finally have your happiness, you have the Dom of your dreams, and your lovers, and now… now the rest of us can get fucked.”
I don’t even fight when he comes swinging at me, taking the punch on my jaw as my head snaps back. Hell, I embrace the fucking pain. I need it to chase off the chill of broken dreams and promises.
Keegan’s arms wrap around me, likely to hold me back, but I stand still, unable to move past the pain pushing against every inch of me.
Hell, the punch wasn’t anything compared to the words he flung at me.
Jude manages to grab Antonio before he comes at me again, and I turn and look the other way as he’s hustled away.
I…I can’t. I can’t watch him being torn away, even though he ripped himself away from the bonds we had together.
There’s an unholy noise in the hallway that echoes, and it takes Keegan putting his hand over my mouth to realize it’s coming from me. The keening cry of heartbreak. Because that’s what I am—heartbroken.
Shattered. Crushed. Bereft. And fucking betrayed…
The one man I trusted is who destroyed me, but the man I thought was wrong is the one who saved my life. Ironic. What the hell…What. The. Hell?
Blackness rushes through me and I fall into it happily, with the hope that maybe this was all a nightmare…all something warped by demons that play in the middle of our dreams, changing them to the unimaginable. Because if not…If not, I’ve lost more than I had left to give.
“He’ll be fine, and so will Allesandro.” Doc’s voice is rough, and the final piece of the puzzle snaps together as unconsciousness takes me—fucking drugged.