Theo
C ity lights glittered beyond the wall of windows, and as I stood in front of the thick-paned glass, I felt like a god.I felt like this city was made just for me, like this penthouse was my castle in the clouds.
Like it was all mine.
And in a way, it was.
I’d spent nearly two decades of my life here—longer than I spent in my hometown. There wasn’t a thing about it I didn’t love. Even the constant noise, questionable smells, or any other perfectly reasonable arguments about why New York City was the worst didn’t matter to me. Because I loved it.
It was my home.
I lived on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. My best friends lived in the same area. My favorite restaurants and stores surrounded me. My job was within walking distance, but I usually took a personal town car.
I was wealthy— beyond wealthy. I had more money than I knew what to do with. And—this wasn’t a cocky statement, this was the truth—I was attractive. I knew I was.
I had a new woman in my bed every night, and come morning, I didn’t remember their names—I didn’t need to. I remembered the way they looked, the way they stroked my ego, the way they fucked, and that was all I cared about.
My one and only rule was simple: one night only. No repeats.
Ever.
My life was amazing—more than amazing. It was perfect.
It was everything I’d dreamt of when I was a kid…
Almost .
I slid my hands into my pockets and peered down at Central Park, imagining ant-sized people rushing past on the sidewalk below. Always in a hurry. Always chasing their dreams. Always trying to make more money.
The shiny floors of my kitchen reflected the lights outside, twinkling like stars I knew were in the sky but couldn’t see. Not anymore. In Cedar Ridge, that was all I could see. When I was a kid, I stared up at them and pretended like they were city lights. And now…they were.
I just got back from visiting my mom last weekend, and my brother, Ronan, brought a girl home. The first girl he’d brought home since he was in high school—that was how I knew it was serious.
It wasn’t the starry-eyed way he’d stared at her when she wasn’t looking, or the way his cheeks had a permanent, love-sick flush to them. It was because he’d brought her home to meet Mom. He’d wanted our mother to know her—to love her.
And from what Mom said, she did .
I couldn’t blame her, though. Willow was amazing, and the perfect fit for my brother. He could be a grumpy asshole, yet he somehow managed to find a sunshine woman like Willow to love him.
Reaching up, I smoothed my hand over my hair. Sometimes I wondered if that was what was missing in my life—a woman.
But I knew better.
I loved my freedom. I loved being selfish with my time and attention. I loved peace and quiet. And I absolutely loved that no one relied on me.
Maybe that made me an asshole—or maybe that made me a realist.
Was it better to know I didn’t want a wife and kids than to drag some poor woman into a miserable life with me? A miserable relationship? One that would ultimately end in divorce?
I was lucky enough that my parents loved being parents, and more than that, they loved each other. So, I knew what that life looked like…and I didn’t want it.
Not the family dinners or holiday traditions, but the expectations. The responsibility. The way it tied you down, made you choose bedtime stories over late nights at the office, or trade spontaneous trips for soccer practices and school recitals.
I liked my freedom too much. I liked not having to be anyone’s everything.
“You get lost in there?” Jordy shouted from the other room. A smile tugged at my mouth as I spun around. In the living room, one of my best friends laughed as he reclined on the black leather couch, his feet kicked up on the coffee table. “I’m still waiting on my beer.”
My place had an open layout, letting me see every inch of the kitchen, living room, and dining area in one sweeping glance. Most of the time, I liked it—except when it meant I couldn’t escape the sight of Jordy sprawled out on my couch like he owned the place, barking orders for another beer.
But he was the man of honor tonight. What he wanted, he got.
“Grab one for me, too,” Sean said absently, his head bowed over his phone. My good humor and smile were wiped away when he said those five words. Even Jordy bristled.
Trent, the lawyer of the group, glanced up from his phone to glare at Sean, but said nothing. None of us did—we wouldn’t.
We didn’t hate the guy, but he wasn’t exactly someone we wanted around. He worked with Archer and me and was our boss’s son, which meant there had to be a small amount of ass-kissing—like inviting him out to boys’ night even though no one wanted him there.
After grabbing a few beers from the fridge, I headed back to the living room. “Archer is on his way up,” Jordy announced, glancing at his phone. “Beck and Cam will be here in a few.”
I took a swig of my beer as I leaned back, resting my ankle on my knee as I stared at Jordy. “So.”
He choked out a laugh. “So, what?” he asked, and I rolled my eyes.
“So, you know what. How does it feel to be a dad?”
Trent’s eyes lifted again. “Still think it’s a terrible idea,” he muttered.
“Kinda too late to change my mind.” Jordy clapped his hand on Trent’s shoulder, and he tensed, hating the physical contact. Jordy’s dark eyes met mine, and the pure happiness in them made my heart squeeze.
His dark umber skin glowed under the light as he shifted on the sofa, taking a pull of his beer. “Nervous as fuck.” He laughed, and I flashed him a grin.
“You wouldn’t be in this predicament if you would’ve listened to me,” Trent grumbled. “I told you not to get married.”
“And I told you not to have kids,” I added, and Trent nodded his agreement.
Jordy rolled his eyes. “Just because you”—he pointed at Trent—“are too jaded by the shit you see at work to ever think a relationship could work, doesn’t mean I think that.
” I snickered at the scolding tone in his voice.
Then he turned his gaze to me, and my smile fell.
“And you—” He pointed at me with the tip of his beer bottle.
“Me? What did I do?”
He shook his head. “You’re gonna wish you had a family when you’re old and gray.”
An unfamiliar pang shot through my chest, but I shoved it away. “Not likely.”
“You’re gonna be all alone, with no wife, no kids or grandkids?—”
“Thank god for that,” I said with a breathy, half-hearted chuckle. “I’ll still have money. And money can buy young, pretty nurses to give me sponge baths all day.”
Trent ran his fingers through his shiny black hair, rolling his eyes skyward. “You’re a manwhore, through and through.”
“Not as much as I am,” Sean said, not bothering to look up from his screen.
Trent, Jordy, and I glanced at each other, a hush falling over the room. I searched for something to say, but all that came to mind was his recent scandal.
The front door opened, breaking the tension, and I didn’t need to look to know it was Archer—he never knocked, always just let himself in.
Still, I glanced over my shoulder, grinning as my oldest friend strolled through the doorway.
His blond hair was perfectly tousled, his clothes pristine and expensive, but still effortless.
And that was the thing about Archer: he looked effortless.
Like he didn’t have a care in the world. Like he was just some rich playboy.
But there was a depth to him I didn’t think anyone had ever seen. Anyone other than me—and that hadn’t been because he’d wanted me to see it. That was just what happened when he was freshly heartbroken and drunk. I saw the real him beneath it all.
That was over ten years ago, and he hadn’t slipped up again.
Archer braced his hand on the back of the couch and leapt over it, landing heavily beside Jordy.
“There’s Daddy!” he shouted, rubbing his knuckles against Jordy’s head.
“Fuck off !” He shoved Archer away, but not before Arch could press a teasing kiss to Jordy’s cheek.
“You have to get used to someone calling you daddy all the time,” Arch said, nudging his shoulder against Jordy’s. “Unless you’re already used to it from Carly?”
“Again: Fuck. Off.”
I chuckled into my beer as they continued bickering and turned my attention to the flat-screen TV mounted on the wall in front of us. There was a hockey game on, not that anyone was watching. We were all too amped and excited about what tonight would bring.
Jordy’s wife, Carly, was out with her best friends, too.
Though, she was heavily pregnant, so their version of a night out looked very different from ours.
Our plan included hitting up all of our favorite bars, then hopefully dragging Jordy to some sleazy strip club before landing in a shitty little diner to finish off the night.
It was what Jordy, Arch, and I did in college every weekend. But now…everything was different.
I couldn’t remember the last time we’d all been together like this.
We used to be untouchable, unstoppable .
Then Arch and I started the corporate grind, and Jordy became a successful entrepreneur, and somewhere along the way, Jordy met Carly, and suddenly all his free time was committed to someone else.
Even with Beck, Cam, and Trent now in our little group, nights out without Jordy never felt right.
But tonight…tonight the boys were back together. It was our last night like this before he officially became a father, so we had to make it one for the books. Unforgettable. It would be a night we talked about well into our decrepit years.
Sean shifted on the couch, still looking at his phone. He’d been typing and swiping all night. It didn’t take a genius to know what he was up to—he was on Pulse. Just like he always was, trying to find his next victim.
As if he could feel me staring at him, he lifted his gaze to meet mine. His teeth flashed as he smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.