Chapter 19 Caleb
Caleb
I had no idea how much time had gone by or what time it even was when Emma stirred. “Does your go bag have a deck of cards?” she murmured sleepily.
“No, but…” I lifted my now-empty water bottle. “We could play spin the bottle.”
She snorted. “There are only two of us.”
I grinned. “I like my odds.”
She appeared to forget how to use words for a moment. “What about truth or dare?”
Yeah, she was one smart cookie all right. “You want to ask me stuff I don’t want to answer.”
“Duh.”
I chuckled. “On one condition. It’s in the cone of silence.” I had no idea what I was doing. It was shocking, how badly I wanted her to let me in, if only to prove us both wrong.
Looking intrigued, she bit her lower lip. “Like we’re in some sort of time continuum where this doesn’t exist outside of right here, right now? Like…whatever happens in a wild and crazy storm stays in the wild and crazy storm?”
I grinned. “Exactly.”
“You’re on,” she said. “I like to think it’s because I’m incredibly brave, but it may just be that I don’t have the back-down gene.”
I laughed, because didn’t I know it. “So, Em, truth…or dare?”
“Oh boy,” she whispered, then drew a deep breath. “Truth. No, wait! Dare.”
I smiled. “Chicken.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You want me to pick truth so you can finally make me tell you why I didn’t like you in college.”
“And on the jobsite,” I reminded her. “And the gala. And here, until not too many hours ago.”
“Why didn’t you like me?” she asked.
This took me aback. “I never didn’t like you. Never,” I repeated when she gave me a get real look. “Okay, maybe for a moment when you ditched me for that project and I lost the game.”
“If it helps, I’m not really sorry about that, given how many times you ditched me with a group project.”
I snorted. “Touché. And I owe you a most sincere thank-you for all the times you covered my ass.” She looked surprised at that, so I leaned in. “I’m truly sorry I was so inconsiderate.”
“Wow,” she said. “A thank-you and an apology. I’m impressed.”
I hated that the bare minimum of manners impressed her, and I promised myself right then and there I’d somehow make up for all the assholes in her past, including me.
Her long, wavy chestnut hair was a tangled mess, half in and half out of a ponytail, the strands framing a face full of intelligence and warmth.
She was makeup-free and had a crease across her cheek from the sleeping bag, and…
she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“Don’t look back, Em.” I flashed a smile.
“Remember? What happens in the storm stays in the storm. Ready for your dare?”
“Make it count, Caleb.”
I liked the way she said my name. Way too much. “I dare you to…” I smiled. “Do something that proves you’re brave.”
“Like what? Kiss you again?”
My heart stopped. “Your choice.”
She stared at me for a long beat, then crawled across the sleeping bag until she was kneeling at my side. Slowly, she leaned in until I could feel her sweet Froot-Loops breath on my face and drown in those amazing green eyes.
“Say please,” she whispered.
Easiest word I’d ever said. “Please.”
She gave a soft hum of pleasure, then dragged the very tip of her nose along the underside of my jaw, inhaling like she needed the scent of me more than air. My entire body tightened as she lifted her head, stared down at my mouth—yeah, babe, go there—and…kissed me on my cheek.
When she pulled back, she wore a snarky, smug smile. “What?”
I nearly laughed. The woman was a witch, and I was here for it. “You know what.”
“It wasn’t established where I should kiss you,” she pointed out.
“It was implied.”
“You sure?” She tilted her head. “Because I’m uncertain what kind of a kiss you were expecting.”
She wanted to play. Playing was my forte. “Shall I show you?”
“Maybe you should.”
“Okay,” I said. “But just one kiss, no matter how much you beg for more.”
She rolled her eyes, and I laughed with sheer joy.
Fuck, I was crazy. I wrapped my hand around her messy ponytail and tugged her closer, an arm around her lower back to hold her against me.
Her mouth. I couldn’t stop staring at it as I lowered my head, starting off with a gentle cradling of lips, slow and sweet, before pulling back.
“That’s all you got?” she asked breathlessly.
She had no idea. I soaked up the sight of her, a little ruffled, a lot loved up, and I couldn’t tear my gaze away.
Then she made grabby hands for me, and I both laughed and fucking melted.
Being here with her like this, sequestered from the rest of the world, was everything tonight.
Or maybe it was already tomorrow. Whatever day it was, I wanted to kiss her again and again.
Slow. Deep. Wet. But I wouldn’t. Not yet.
I wouldn’t take those grabby hands and pin them to the sleeping bag.
I wouldn’t slide a thigh between hers and plunder her sweet, smart-ass mouth as I slid into her—
“Caleb,” she moaned, arching up into me.
I kissed her, just as I’d wanted. I entangled our fingers and drew her hands above her head and pinned her, sliding a thigh between hers.
“More,” she demanded.
It took effort to pull back, to lift my head and meet her hungry eyes.
“I’m going to give you a truth,” I said.
“A freebie.” I grazed the pad of my thumb over her lower lip.
“You mean something to me, Emma. But you’re stuck here with me, and we’re all alone.
I won’t take advantage of you. I’ll never take advantage of you. ”
She blinked. “I’m pretty sure I instigated this. And you’re just as stuck here with me. Do you feel like I took advantage of you?”
I gave a slow shake of my head.
“You sure?”
I had to smile, because I knew where this was going. Or at least I hoped I knew. “Very.”
“Good, because I’m very sure too. Would you like me to sign an NDA?”
“Smart-ass.” I nipped at her earlobe. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, which is hard because you’ve got those big ol’ eyes that melt away my common sense and a smile that makes me so fucking stupid, I can’t remember my own name half the time.”
Emma batted those eyes, and I shook my head. “You’re a menace.”
She just smiled. “Good to know.” She sat up and studied me for a long beat. “Truth or dare, Caleb?”
“It’s your turn.”
She gave a slow shake of her head. “You gave me a freebie. Doesn’t count. Truth or dare?”
Oh shit. If she dared me to touch her, I wouldn’t be able to resist, and I needed to. No quickies. No moving too fast and screwing things up. I’d done enough of that in the past, and I liked to think I learned from my mistakes, but if I took her now, it would mean I hadn’t learned shit. “Truth.”
“Unexpected, but okay…” She stared at me, thinking so hard that I could smell something burning.
“What would your dating profile say? Your likes, favorite vices, what you wear to bed, if you have a rebellious side, that sort of thing—and don’t hold back,” she demanded with a smug smile, so sure I’d balk.
“It would say that I like long walks on the beach and getting caught in the rain.”
She rolled her eyes, and I smiled. “It would also say my favorite vice is whiskey, I sleep in my birthday suit, and I admit nothing regarding a rebellious side except this—if it says not to push the button, I’m gonna push the button.”
She laughed, and I said, “Your turn.”
Emma hesitated. “Dare.”
“I dare you to answer a truth.”
Her brows scrunched together. “Hey. That’s cheating.”
“It’s not cheating,” I said. “Truth, or forfeit.”
“Fine!” She tossed up her hands. “Truth.”
“Why did you hate me?”
“I should have seen that one coming,” she muttered, then sighed. “And it wasn’t that I hated you.”
“Felt like it.” I had no idea why I was pushing so hard. Tonight had brought us together in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to hope for. And normally, this realization was when I’d bail, but for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to.
Emma squeezed her eyes shut, and something inside my chest tightened at her obvious pain and reluctance. “It’s okay,” I said. “Forget it. I don’t want to make this hard—”
“It is hard,” she said quietly. “But not as hard as some of the stuff I was going through at the time. I told you my mom and I…we struggled. So, when she was gone, there was nothing left for me. I was eighteen and had no home, no savings, and no real way to improve my life. I’d gotten into college but hadn’t gotten a scholarship or aid.
Then I found out about a new scholarship in the architectural-history program.
No one could apply until after the first semester, but it was a hundred thousand dollars toward tuition—which would cover two of the four years—and a paid summer term in Europe to study the history of architecture there, plus a guaranteed internship the summer after graduation. ”
I realized I’d gone utterly still, was in fact barely breathing.
“The scholarship went to a full-ride hockey player,” she said.
“No, it didn’t.” That summer abroad had changed my life and cemented that it wasn’t hockey I needed long-term, but something much more, something that involved history and architecture. “I wasn’t a full-ride hockey player. I was a walk-on.”
Her mouth fell open. “What?”
“I didn’t start playing until my junior year of high school, so I lost out on an entire hockey season and didn’t get recruited.
When I got to college, I joined an intramural league.
The men’s hockey coach happened to see me play, told me about open tryouts.
I went, he took me on, but there was no money attached.
In fact, I didn’t get a scholarship until my junior year. ”
She was staring at me, and then she drew a deep breath.
“I…I didn’t know that. All this time, I thought…
” She blinked, then shook her head, eyes heavy with regret.
“I blamed you for the fact that I graduated not only deep in debt, but without that summer worth of experience abroad and no internship.”
If the situation had been reversed, I’d have felt the same way. “I understand.”
“You shouldn’t.” She shook her head. “I took all that disappointment and fear and anxiety, and I piled it right on your head. I was horrible to you all those years, I—” Her eyes filled. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize. By the time I walked away from hockey, it didn’t matter because I had an internship waiting for me.” I drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry you didn’t get it, Emma, but it saved my life. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without it.”
“You deserved it. I mean it, Caleb. You did. I just didn’t know it at the time. I let myself be mired down in resentment.”
“You were just trying to survive,” I said. “I think a part of me always knew that.”
“Is that why you were always nice to me, even when I was hateful?”
I laughed. “You weren’t the only one just trying to survive. I needed you pushing me the way you did, challenging me, making me want to try hard for the first time in my life.”
Her laugh was a little soggy, but 100 percent contagious. “I don’t know how you even saw me. You had girls hanging all over you, even when it was rumored you were in a relationship with…Renee someone or another; she worked in the gym.”
My brows rose. “You knew about that?”
“Everyone knew. The most likely student to become a pro hockey player with the most likely student to become the world’s biggest influencer? Match made in heaven.”
“Renee and I didn’t go out until my senior year,” I said.
“And it didn’t last. For a bunch of reasons.
After I got hurt, everyone was so disappointed.
And no one knew how to talk to me or be with me.
Renee had thought she was going to be with a version of me who would provide a certain lifestyle. But I was never going to be that guy.”
“So you walked before she could,” Emma guessed.
“I did. I’m not proud of it, but it was the right thing to do.”
Emma studied me for a beat. “I’ve misjudged you for a long time. I’m sorrier for that than I can say.”
“If you did, it’s because I wanted you to.”
“Then let’s be done with that,” she said, then crawled into my arms, and the world outside felt very far away.