Chapter 37
thirty-seven
DARCY
Dane may not be sorry for his sins as he falls to his knees, but you know what, I’m not either.
He needs to know there are some lines you can’t cross.
I want a life with him. That doesn’t mean he can bulldoze over me whenever he wants. A relationship is more than clocking out and leaving before you’ve tried to work things out. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re pretty close to our version of it. Yes, I’m his property, but it goes both ways. Dane’s jealous, possessive, controlling, manipulative, and downright hard-headed. I take comfort in being loved that much.
Maybe it’s fucked up, but it works for us.
Most of the time anyway. Today, I’m pissed. Instead of leaving, which I don’t want to do, I’m here, fighting with him. Not for my rights, but for us. I start to pace, arms wrapped around my body, my body flush from anger still.
Dane struggles to stand upright, his body hunched over as he groans. That’s nothing compared to the hours of labor I’ll have to endure to bring a baby into this world.
Still pulling in long breaths, he somehow moves his body straight. “It’s been a long time since someone’s gotten a punch in without me seeing it coming,” he says with a headshake. He somehow makes it over to the nearby chair and plops down.
A matter-of-fact smirk grows on my face. “It wasn’t a punch. I kicked you. The ladies' bible study had a self-defense class two years ago. I can do that in an ankle-length denim skirt.”
He dares to smile. “Still not sorry.”
I stop my pacing to glare right at him and snap, “Well, of course you’re not.”
He half stands, grabs onto me, and pulls me down onto his lap. He rests his palm right on my stomach. His eyes soften when he says, “I can’t regret that there’s a baby on the way, a part of both of us. He or she will be a little brother or sister for Owen. He won’t grow up alone like I did.”
I think of young Dane on the farm with no other kids to play with at times, how I would feel without Delia around, and something inside of me breaks. My left eye starts to twitch. “Stop weaponizing being sweet.”
“I’m trying to make you understand. All I want in life is a family with you. I never once thought about settling down before. Now that’s all I think about. I grew up in the club and became a brother because it’s in my blood, instinctive. I didn’t believe that I’d ever love something or someone as much. You’re a part of me, Darcy.”
Shuttering my eyes, I pull in a long, deep breath. It’s starting to work, my anger slowly cracking like an iced-over lake on the first day of Spring. Hurt seeps through, making my chest tighten and my eyes start to water. “I don’t know how to make you understand that I wear your property patch because I’m yours, but that doesn’t mean you control every aspect of my life.”
The laugh he lets out sounds brittle. “I control you? Darcy, you own my ass, and I’m man enough to admit it. Someone hurts you, I’m going after them. You want something, I get it for you. You have more power over me than you realize.”
Emotions ricochet through me as my brain thinks of one random thought and then another.
The kids will be so close in age.
Dane will run over me if I let him.
I’ll need a double stroller.
Will a double stroller even fit in my trunk?
Finally, like a crazy woman, I settle on the most random of thoughts. “I didn’t even get to tell you in some cute way because we were trying. Instead we’re arguing.”
Dane shrugs, “Then we’ll have a do-over. We’ll put Owen in a ‘Im a Big Brother’ onesie to tell Dad. He loves that type of shit.”
Annoyance drips from my voice, “How is it that I never know whether I want to kiss or slap you.”
“I vote for a kiss. We have a baby on the way. We should be celebrating.”
“We would have been if you’d waited until we were ready!”
“I told you I was going to do it,” he argues again.
“Yes, yes, you did. Which is why I’m going to start believing you when you say you’re going to do crazy things.”
“Then consider this notice. Get planning or get taken to the courthouse.”
Letting out a deep, resigned sigh, I say, “You’re gonna do it if I don’t plan a wedding, aren’t you?”
“You can bet on it.”