Chapter 18
A few hours before the homecoming dance, I’m standing in front of the mirror in my dress when I see my mom cheesing in the doorway. I do a little spin for her, loving the way the fabric twirls around me.
“Wow, I knew it would be perfect!” Mom says. “Let me just fix those straps.”
She picked the dress for me, and I was surprised at how much I loved it when she brought it home.
The champagne-colored fabric glistens from every angle, falling just above my matching heels.
Mom pulls at the crisscrossed spaghetti straps in the back and the dress gets a little more snug but not too tight.
It really is perfect, and I couldn’t be happier.
“Great choice, Mom,” I say, smiling at myself in the mirror.
“Of course it is!” she cries, grabbing some bobby pins off my dresser. “Hair time, which side?”
I point to the right side even though I’m not sure what she’s doing. I’ve slathered on enough gel to make sure my bun doesn’t move, and it looks almost as flawless as Ms. Bree’s always did. My mom chuckles when she feels how hard my hair is. She puts two pins in an X.
“That’s so cute, more, please,” I tell her. She grabs two more and doubles them.
“So, I promise I wasn’t snooping…” She looks at me in the mirror. I brace myself. “But I was cleaning and found the college pamphlets in your desk drawer.” She turns me around to face her. She’s smiling but her eyes are watery.
“My teacher gave me those. She thinks I should study writing in school. But there’s no guarantee I’ll get in and I’d want to get a scholarship, anyway,” I quickly explain. I don’t want her thinking I expect Travis to pay my way. Or worse—that I’m going to try for something and mess it up again.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course we’d be happy to pay for college.
You know I’ve always wanted that for you—I just wanted you to want it for yourself.
And writing makes sense—you’re always scribbling something in a notebook.
I’m … I’m really proud of you, honey,” she says, wiping a tear from her cheek.
She was always really adamant about college.
“Being a woman in the world is hard enough without adding a lack of education to it” was her favorite response to my spontaneous gap year suggestions.
But she insisted that I focus on careers that paid well—apparently, dreams didn’t do that.
I was prepared to figure out my fear of blood to help sick people and pay my bills forever.
“Thanks, Mom, that means a lot,” I say. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like I was doing something that makes it crystal clear to her that I am on the right track.
“Of course, now finish getting ready! I want a million pictures!” She laughs, and I do too.
Kayla and I put the finishing touches on our makeup in my bathroom. I go for a sparkling gold eye shadow and natural pink lips. Kayla has lashes on that make her look like a movie star. I know I wouldn’t last very long with them, so I opt out.
We head downstairs, and my mom snaps a few pictures of us before Travis reminds her what time it is. He helps us into the car and drives the four of us to the country club, where the dance is being held.
We consider taking our jackets since it’s finally getting cold, but ultimately decide against it.
Kayla looks even more amazing in her dress against the white stone backdrop of the club.
The soft yellow spotlights lining the outside of the building trick my eyes into seeing gold sequins on her dress where I know there are only blue ones.
“One more, girls,” my mom says, holding up her phone as I join Kayla on the steps. She’s fiddling with her camera, probably trying to find portrait mode.
“Mom, please,” I say. Kayla laughs and points to some of the other kids also trying to escape the drop-off line of parents and their cameras.
“You girls look like movie stars though!” she says, coming over to smooth creases in our dresses from the car ride.
“We sure do!” Kayla says, nudging me.
“Okay, one more together and then we’re out of here,” Travis chimes in.
“How about one of all of you?” Alice’s mom pops around the car and holds her hand out for my mom’s phone. She motions at her and Travis to move in closer to us.
“Say cheese!” Alice’s mom says.
“Cheese!” Travis and Mom cry.
“Come on, this is for the family wall. We gotta make it good.” Kayla grabs my hand.
My heart fluttering, I imagine our picture on the wall and channel my best smile.
“Cheese!” we say loudly to the delight of the adults.
My phone buzzes in my clutch. I pull it out and see Deanna’s name on the screen. “Okay, we gotta go,” I say, taking Kayla’s hand again.
My mom waves us off. “Okay, go on and be safe! Love you both!”
“Love you, too,” we say in unison, then quickly make our way up the stairs between groups of kids preparing for their big entrances.
Kayla and I weave through the crowd, past some boys who are talking about an after-party.
Any nerves I have turn into excitement. This is my first homecoming and already the most special one.
This is going to be the best night. We follow signs that point us toward a huge tent in the back garden, overlooking the river that runs straight through Tinsley.
The entrance to the tent is covered in fairy lights and roses.
Kayla and I snap selfies and then head inside to find the other girls.
I spot Deanna on the dance floor and make a beeline for her. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns, a wide smile spreading across her face.
“Wow,” she says, twirling me around, “you look freaking amazing!”
My words get caught in my throat as the dark green sequins on her dress glisten under the fairy lights.
“S-so do you,” I stutter when they finally come out. I take Deanna’s hand and place a small velvet bag in her palm.
“No way, Jasmine!” she shrieks when she pulls the earrings from the bag. “And they’re the same ones! Thank you so much.”
“Of course. I know they meant a lot to you,” I say.
I think back to the day I met up with Amari. I was determined not to let her have the final say on how my day went, so I headed to the mall to look for Deanna’s earrings. Seeing how excited she is right now, it was all worth it.
“You mean a lot to me too,” she whispers, and then peeks over my shoulder.
“And damnnn, Kayla!” she shrieks at Kayla, who’s posing like she’s at a photo shoot.
Kayla laughs and pulls us toward a table where Kenny, Mel, and Alice are sitting. Somehow we all look like different versions of Carrie from Sex and the City, with our assortments of sequins, satin, and tulle. Like, really glamorous.
I notice Alice’s hair is back to its usual red. She must’ve gone to the salon and gotten it fixed after all.
“Ohhhh Jasmine!!” Kenny and Mel yell excitedly when they see me. I blush. “Kayla!! Yes!!” they scream at her. She twirls and blows them kisses.
Kayla laughs. “And you don’t look like a zebra anymore, Alice!”
Alice touches her waves. “Yeah, my mom was pissed but she took me to her hairdresser anyway, thank god.”
“You guys look amazing too,” I say. “I love your hair up, Kenny.”
“Stop. Really?” Kenny touches her updo very lightly.
Mel makes a face. “What am I, the ugly stepsister? Damn, Jasmine, I thought we were cool!”
“She said ‘you guys,’” Deanna says.
“Yes, defend your girlfriend!” Mel says. She leans in closer to us. “That’s what this is, right?!”
“And don’t even think about lying, we basically already know,” Alice adds.
“You guys are so nosy,” Deanna says. “But I’m actually happy to answer that.”
“You are?” I ask, just to make sure I heard her correctly.
“Very,” she says, her eyes glistening like her dress under the lights.
Kayla dances back to the table and leans over when she sees everyone staring at each other.
“This is my girlfriend,” Deanna says, grabbing my hand.
Kayla gasps dramatically. “Some big secret that was,” she says playfully, sitting down next to Alice.
“This is super cute!!” Mel shrieks. The girls at the table next to us look over and she covers her mouth.
Deanna squeezes my hand. “It really is,” I say, squeezing hers back.
“Now you guys can stop leaving us all the time.” Kenny laughs.
“We don’t do that!” Deanna insists.
The other girls disagree with her and start rattling off examples.
Deanna and I giggle, knowing they’re right.
As Deanna defends us, I glance around the room at everyone laughing, dancing, and enjoying themselves.
I look back at my friends and feel tears prick the corners of my eyes.
I can’t believe it. Somehow, I wound up here, at this table, with these girls. This is really my life.
“Anyone want a drink?” I ask, realizing I need to step away before the tears come pouring out.
“I’ll take one,” Deanna says.
“Me, too,” Kayla adds.
I make my way over to where Mr. Guy, my science teacher, is pouring sparkling apple cider into champagne flutes. An empty one falls to the floor, and I brace myself for the shattering.
“Indestructible,” he says, proudly holding up the unharmed flute. “Anyway, how many for you, Ms. Cooper?”
I tell him three and he hands me two. “Just come back for the other one, we’re nowhere near running out,” he says.
“I’ll carry it for you as long as you don’t ask any weird questions,” says a voice behind me.
I turn and am surprised to see the girl who was memorizing the dictionary in the library. She’s wearing a face full of makeup and a floral satin dress, which is a far cry from her big glasses and uniform. She looks so pretty. I imagine we all do.
“I know, I know. Stop gawking.” She laughs and grabs two flutes. “I’m Charlene.”
“I’m Jasmine. Thanks,” I say. “But seriously, where’s your dictionary?”
“My friends are keeping an eye on him. He’s the best date.”
We both laugh and I lead us back to the table where the girls are trying to get a group selfie on someone’s phone. Charlene asks if they want her to help, and Kenny loudly confirms. I hand Kayla and Deanna their drinks and take the extra one from Charlene.
“What should we say?” Mel asks excitedly.
I try to find a spot off to the side but Deanna hooks her arm through mine.
“Ready?” Charlene asks, turning the phone to find the right angle.
Kayla stands on the other side of me and puts her arm on my shoulder.
“Ready!” Mel cries. “Besties on three!”
“One, two, three … Besties!!” we yell.
Kenny and Mel rush Charlene to make sure she got a good shot. Soon they’re giving her a hug and the rest of us are waving as she goes back to join her friends.
Deanna nudges me for a cheers. “Here’s to everything,” she says.
The DJ plays an old Rihanna song and a resounding scream of excitement bursts through the room. I take a sip of my apple cider and chuckle at the chaos that is unfolding on the dance floor. Alice commands everyone to get on it—she loves Rihanna.
“I’m not taking no for an answer,” she booms, grabbing Kayla and motioning for the rest of us to get up.
“Let’s do this!” I say.
We create a little circle for ourselves on the dance floor.
I let myself loosen up and move my body to the music.
Alice is screaming lyrics and dancing wildly offbeat, but she’s having the time of her life.
I’ve never seen her have this much fun, and it’s sort of contagious.
Kayla pulls out the pins holding her braids up and lets her hair hit her shoulders.
She shakes the rest of the style out and dances harder.
I decide this is the perfect content for my first Insta story—a peek into my new life.
I open IG and pan the camera to everyone doing their own thing: Kayla sticks out her tongue, Alice throws up the peace sign, Kenny and Mel make a heart with their hands, and Deanna kisses me on the cheek.
I end with the camera on myself, smiling wider than I probably ever have.
I post it just as the dance floor closes in and more people make their way to their groups.
I close my eyes and lose myself in the music, thinking of nothing more than how good this all feels.