Chapter 20
I let the front door slam behind me and kick off my shoes. Kayla is arguing with someone on her phone and runs past me up the stairs. She slams her door. My mom calls out our names from the kitchen, but I don’t respond, retreating to my room instead. A few minutes later, my door flies open.
“You’ve actually been hanging out with that Amari girl, Jasmine?” Kayla asks.
“No! We met up once for—” I start, but she doesn’t let me finish.
“She told Deanna twice. So who’s lying? Wait—the girl from the movies?!”
“It wasn’t like that, I promise! I didn’t even know she was going to be at the carnival,” I say.
Kayla types something into her phone and walks back to her room. I hear her tell someone that she’s not sure what to believe. I grab my phone and storm down the hall.
“You don’t even know her! Why wouldn’t you believe me?” I yell.
“Whoa, whoa, Jasmine. First of all, calm down,” she says, reaching behind me to close her door. “Second of all, everyone knows who she is.” She leans on her desk with her arms across her chest.
I start crying again, and the anger on Kayla’s face turns into concern. “I stuck my neck out for you. I vouched for you, and now my friends are mad at me. All because you’re sneaking around.”
“I wasn’t! I didn’t even want to meet with her. I told her to leave me alone!” I insist.
I need her to believe me. I need Kayla on my side.
“Then why didn’t you tell someone? I’m your sister, hello!!” she yells back.
“I didn’t tell you because I was worried you’d judge me, just like you’re judging me now!”
“Judging you?! You hurt Deanna because you lied about Amari. Don’t blame this on anyone else!” Kayla goes silent and I feel myself getting frustrated enough to scream even louder.
I turn to leave when the door opens. My mom stands in the doorway with wide eyes.
“Give me your phone, Jasmine,” she says, her hand out.
I push it into her palm.
“Password.”
“North,” I say, and she puts it in.
“One of you tell me what’s going on.”
I sniffle, fighting back another wave of tears. Kayla groans.
“Start speaking,” my mom commands, scrolling through my phone.
Neither of us says anything. Then Kayla looks at me and exhales loudly. “Someone told Deanna where Jasmine really was,” she says.
“Excuse me?”
“They know,” I say. I take a deep breath; she’s going to find out sooner or later. “Amari told them.”
“Amari? How are you even in contact with her?” She looks up, surprised.
I shrug.
My mom presses her fingers to her temples like she’s trying to slow down her thoughts. “Travis!!” she calls downstairs. “Come up here, please.”
Kayla drops her head on her desk. “Jasmine, seriously, can you just answer?” she pleads.
“I told her to leave me alone, Mom, that I was moving on and didn’t want her in my life. That’s why she told Deanna. She was trying to get back at me,” I sob.
Kayla hands my mom her phone. “This is what Amari sent to Deanna.”
My mom reads the message. Travis appears behind her and immediately looks concerned by the state of my puffy, tear-stained face.
“What’s happening, ladies?” he asks in his calm voice. But it isn’t calm enough to defuse this situation.
My mom shows him Kayla’s phone. “Oh no,” he says. “Who did this?”
“A girl Jasmine knew at … the place she was before,” Kayla says. “She lives nearby, in Plainfield.”
Travis looks confused but doesn’t ask anything further.
“Jesus Christ, this keeps getting better. So much for a fresh start, right?” my mom says. Travis whispers something to her and she turns to me. “You just couldn’t give yourself a real chance here, huh? How did she know you were in Tinsley? How did she find you?”
“I told her,” I say.
“Why did you tell her?”
“I don’t know, she asked!” I yell. “We were close. I told her where we were moving. It’s not that weird.”
“Friends don’t do this. Why did you continue talking to her?” My mom looks dismayed. “Oh, Jasmine. I don’t understand you at all. You have friends here, I thought you were happy about that.”
“I am! But Amari was my friend too, once. I was just trying to—I don’t know. She just kept asking to talk.”
“Why didn’t you tell someone?”
“Like who?” My mind flashes to that day, to the moment when I considered telling her everything. But there’s a reason I didn’t. “You are always ready to send me back and…” I trail off.
“I have been trying to keep you out and protect you, Jasmine,” my mom says, raising her voice.
“Ladies,” Travis interjects. “Please, let’s calm down.”
Easy for him to say. His whole life isn’t blowing up.
But it seems to work a little on my mom, who pauses and takes a deep breath. “Everyone knows,” she whispers. She seems to be talking to herself.
“Guess you can be ashamed of me out loud now,” I say.
“Oh my god, can you guys take this out of my room?” Kayla says.
“Kayla, that’s enough!” Travis snaps.
She drops her head on the desk again.
“I am warning you, Jasmine, watch it,” my mom says.
“I just mean, all you care about is appearances anyway.”
“Don’t you dare speak to me that way! Maybe appearances should matter more to you!” she yells.
Kayla lifts her head and looks at me.
I feel the tears coming again, but I don’t want my mom to see. Travis steps in front of her and tries to take her out of the room. I bolt past them and into the hallway.
“I am not done talking to you,” my mom calls after me.
I slam my door, slipping into the bathroom when I hear them coming.
“Jasmine! Come out here,” my mom yells as I shut the bathroom door.
I lock it. “I never want to talk to you again!” I scream.
Travis says something in a low voice. “This is too much,” she says to him. My mom is out of breath and sounds like she might break down.
I’m angry and frustrated, but I’m starting to feel bad about the way I spoke to her, guilt and shame crowding into my swirling emotions. I crumple onto the floor, sobbing.
“Jasmine, please open up.” Travis sounds concerned. “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Go away, please,” I beg, the tears coming rapidly now.
He says something to my mom and then it gets quiet.
I turn the shower to the hottest temperature so steam can fog up the mirror. I don’t want to see myself anymore.