Chapter Twenty-Five
Dan
T he sky is a deep blue, and I gaze up at it, wondering how it could possibly be such a vibrant hue. It’s stunning.
Sejin giggles next to me.
I roll over on the carpet of grass—it’s soft and bright green like a golf course mid-summer—and I take hold of his hand, raise it to my lips, and kiss his fingers.
He’s got that smile on his face. The one I live to see.
“Hey, Doc. Wanna marry me?”
Sejin laughs again. “Sure. As soon as you wake up.”
“Am I sleeping?”
“Of course.”
I frown. What’s he talking about? It’s a beautiful day. I’m wide awake. I squeeze his hand and roll onto my back, considering the question of what it means to be asleep or awake. What it means to be alive .
I blink up at the cloudless depths. I’m happy. I’m with Sejin. The grass is soft. The sky is deep. I’m awake.
And the sky is so fucking blue…
Flashing blue and red and blue and red.
Huh.
Weird.
*
Sejin
Rye is waiting for us outside the entrance to the emergency room when Lowell and I arrive. When he sees us hustling in from the parking lot, he smiles widely, and I almost burst into tears again as relief rushes over me.
As soon as I’m close enough, Rye embraces me.
“He’s good; he’s gonna be all right,” he says all in a rush, while still clinging to me and patting my back.
“They’ve got him sedated. But they were able to get scans and, miraculously, there’s no head trauma, which is huge, huge, huge .
” He lets go of me and meets Lowell’s eye.
There’s an odd tension between the two of them that I don’t entirely understand, but then it breaks, and Rye keeps on talking.
“They still have him in the ER while they get a room ready upstairs, but once they move him, we can visit.”
“We can’t see him now?” I ask. There’s nothing I want more than to see Dan and press my face into his neck to smell his sweat and skin. I want desperately to hold him and squeeze his calloused hands.
“Not right now. They’ve got him resting comfortably, though. I promise.”
I try to smile at Rye to show him I have faith, but I can’t.
“I know you want to see him, but he’s not conscious at the moment anyway.
They pumped him full of stuff to keep him still for the scans.
The pain from his leg had him writhing once he came to fully on the flight, so they calmed him with small doses of fentanyl and Versed, and after they got him here and ensured he doesn’t have a head injury, they dosed him up good. ”
“He’s not hurting?”
“Not right now.” Rye steers us toward the entrance. “While he’s resting and they’re sorting out the room situation, let’s get some food in you, alright? I bet you haven’t eaten today.”
I haven’t, but I also don’t think I can stomach anything. I let Rye guide me, though, with his arm looped through mine. Lowell walks beside us and says nothing as Rye continues to chatter. I let his words wash over me, trying to understand them, trying to soak them in.
“Now, a doctor hasn’t talked with him yet, but I can tell you what I know from what I overheard. No head injury, which is, like I said, huge. There’s a laceration on his face that’s going to need stitches, and it’ll probably leave a scar. But that’s okay, right? Guys with scars are hot.”
I manage a laugh, but all I can picture is Dan’s oddly handsome face mangled. My stomach twists.
Rye goes on. “He’s got a couple of chipped teeth, probably where he hit himself with his own left hand as he came down, believe it or not.
Busted up knuckles from that impact, but no breaks in the hand.
Some pretty bad contusions on his hip and buttocks, and a surprisingly mild sprained wrist. But the real doozy is his leg. ”
Outside of the hospital cafeteria, Rye pulls me to a stop. “Let’s get this over with out here. Don’t want to gross out any of the people eating.”
Lowell huffs a small laugh, and Rye’s ears turn pink, but he keeps on going. “So, the leg… It’s not good, Sejin. Compound fracture of the tibia and fibula—the shin bones. It’s gruesome. I’m not gonna lie, and it’s hella complicated to fix.”
“Compound fracture…” I trail off thinking back to biology class and trying to remember if that is the bad one.
“Bone’s sticking through the skin.” Lowell makes clear.
So, the really bad one. I shudder.
Rye shoots him a wide-eyed look. “Wow, just be brutal about it.”
Lowell shrugs. “Like you’re not brutal in your own way.”
Rye’s neck begins to flush, and he looks down at the floor.
Lowell clarifies, “In the way you’re handling this, I mean. You’re just shoving him through it like it’s a series of doors and if you can get through them fast enough, he’ll come out the other side fine and dandy.”
Rye says slowly, “Are you saying I push too hard?”
“Sometimes.”
I blink. I didn’t realize they knew each other as more than acquaintances, and I feel like something else entirely is going on with them, but I don’t really care. I just want to know about Dan.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. You can put it however you want,” I insist. “Just tell me everything.”
“Right, so a compound fracture means his bone has come through the skin, like Lowell said, and it’s bad. Not just like a little poke through, not just a tip of a bone, but a huge part has come out.”
I shudder again, feeling light-headed.
“Easy now,” Lowell warns.
“Oh, easy now that I’m saying it?”
I ignore them. “So, what will happen with his leg? Will they set it, or…what?”
“First they’ll pump him full of antibiotics,” Rye says, putting up a finger. “And then—”
Lowell explains, “Compound fractures are at severe risk of infection of the bone, especially when they occur in an outdoor setting where dirt and who knows what can get into the wound. If they don’t crush that possibility with antibiotics, he could lose the leg—”
“Oh, and I’m brutal?” Rye says, rolling his eyes. “You’re terrifying!”
Lowell gazes at him intensely. “Would you prefer I get your permission before I talk?”
Rye full-on flushes. I’m baffled, and starting to get a little angry too. I don’t care what kind of behind-the-scenes battle is going on between them. Not right now. “Okay, but what about Dan?”
“Right.” Rye focuses back on me again. “Well, tomorrow, probably. As soon as possible, they’ll want to do surgery. Get that leg set and all. An orthopedist will look at him tonight, I’m sure.”
“They’ll have to do surgery for that?”
“To insert a rod and screws,” Lowell says.
“The breaks are bad enough they’ll need to hold his bones together so they can heal.” Rye adds, “Any other questions?”
“No.”
Rye smiles and slips his arm through mine again. “Then let’s eat. You’ll feel better when you’ve had some food.”
I don’t think I’ll feel better until I’ve seen Dan for myself, but I let Rye lead me through the cafeteria line, watching him put a variety of items on trays for both of us.
Lowell is behind me, and he gets a few things too.
When it comes time to pay, Lowell steps up and Rye acts as if that’s expected.
I start to get my wallet out, but Lowell waves it off.
“But you’ve already done so much—driving me here, and—”
“Lowell likes being of service,” Rye says. “Don’t worry about it.”
Lowell puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “The only thing you need to worry about is looking less scared when you see Dan. He’s going to need you to be strong while he goes through this. Think you can do that?”
I nod and follow them both to a table. We sit together and I pick at my chicken and rice while Rye and Lowell eat theirs. I’m surprised I can swallow anything given how tense I am, but I manage to get enough down that neither Rye nor Lowell mention how much is left on my plate.
“How did it happen?” Lowell asks. “Do we know?”
“Tom called it in and said Dan fell, but based on his injuries, I’m pretty sure he tried to downclimb and jump to the ledge.
We practiced that move recently, but something must have gone wrong.
Like he had to jump from higher than we’d trained for, or he got pumped out and had to leap with less control than he needed.
Maybe both. It’s amazing he didn’t roll off the ledge. It’s really narrow.”
I put my fork down and rub a hand over my face.
“Hey, hey, it’s done. It’s over.” Rye rubs my back and soothes me.
“Kind of,” Lowell says.
“What do you mean?”
“Getting hurt is easy,” Lowell says. “Now it’s the hard part that’s left. Getting better. Some people don’t ever manage it.”
He seems like he’s talking about himself.
Rye’s phone buzzes, and he looks down at it. “They’ve moved him upstairs to three-oh-five.”
I stand and pick up the tray. Rye begins to rise as well, but Lowell touches his arm. “Let him go alone.”
“What if Sejin wants me to go with him?”
Lowell meets my eye, the question is that what you want written over his face, but he says nothing.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to see him by myself at first.”
Rye relaxes back into his seat and nods. “I get it. No problem. I’ll be here for a few more hours if you need me.”
Lowell nods at me.
“Thanks for driving me here.”
“No sweat, kid. I’ll be heading back tonight, and you’re welcome to the lift if you need it. But I suspect you’ll want to stay, like I said.”
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere. Not unless they make me leave…”
“They’ll probably let you stay if Dan wakes up and approves you,” Rye says. “The nurses here are understanding about queer relationships for the most part.” Then he turns to Lowell. “I’ll go back with you?”
“Sure.” Another strange rise and fall of tension passes between them before Lowell turns to me. “You’ve got your clothes, wallet, and some cash?”
I nod, patting my backpack.
“Alright. Give us your keys, and we’ll get your car and take care of Peggy Jo’s cats.”
I start to protest, but immediately give in. What’s the point in refusing their help? I need it and so does Dan. I hand them over to Lowell. I’ll have to text Celli not to worry about the cats tonight after all.
“Go see your man,” he says, pocketing them.