17. Nasseem #2
“What you want it to be E?”
“What do you want it to be Nas?”
“Look, if you want a nigga to move in just say the word and I’ll have my entire condo packed and moved in here.” A wide grin expanded across her face.
“Yeah?”
“Say the word…”
“Move in with me.”
“Nah, I’m good.” I laughed as she tried to get out of my grasp. “Chill, chill, chill… I’m fuckin with you Baby. I’ll make the call in the morning.”
She stared at me for a long moment, then leaned up and kissed me.
Slow and deep; like she believed me...or at least wanted to.
I held onto that kiss like it was the only thing keeping me alive.
And for a while, it really felt like we’d made it.
We were home, we were good. But like I told Mr. Bradshaw.
.. silence don’t last forever. And deep down, I knew Nate was somewhere plotting—just waiting for his next move.
***.
Four days later, we had her first OB appointment back in LA. We sat in that waiting room, quiet but connected. My knee bounced the whole time, nerves eating me alive. I’d never been to no appointment like this before. Never gave a fuck enough to show up. But this, this was different.
“Ms. Armstrong?” the nurse called. We stood up together and she grabbed my hand as we made our way to the back.
The exam room was cold. Egypt sat on the table, stomach exposed, breathing slow while the nurse prepped the ultrasound machine. Seconds later, there was a quick knock on the door and the doctor walked in with a smile.
“Good afternoon folks, I’m Dr. Early. You must be Ms. Armstrong.”
“Yeah, good to meet you.” Egypt said extending her hand in his direction. “This is my boyfriend Nasseem.”
“It’s nice to meet you Nasseem.” He replied shaking my hand as well. “From what I read in your chart you’re about 12 weeks along. You were getting prenatal care at Memphis Medical?”
“Yeah, with Dr. Courtney. She said everything was all good so far.”
“She was correct.” He agreed with a smile. “This is just a routine ultrasound to make sure everything is still going well. Since you’re a new patient, I like to get a good look at the baby myself.”
“Okay that’s fine.” Egypt replied.
“Good, go ahead and lay back for me and lift your shirt.” Egypt did as he asked.
“You, okay?” I asked her, brushing her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, I’m good Nasseem,” she whispered.
The doctor spread the gel across her stomach, pressed the wand down, and then a thunderous thud echoed around the room. It was loud, fast but steady. I blinked hard as hell allowing my brain to adjust enough for me to register what that was and when I did, my heart fuckin’ dropped.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor said with a smile.
Egypt looked at me, eyes glassy. I reached for her hand and held it tight. “You hear that?” I asked her. “That’s our baby.” She nodded, tear slipping down her cheek.
The doctor angled the monitor toward us.
There it was our baby, maybe the size of a lemon if even that.
It was still small. But real, so damn real.
“Everything looks good,” the doctor said.
“You’re measuring around 12 weeks and 3 days now, about 3 inches.
I don’t see any defects that would indicate any abnormalities.
This is really good. We’ll print out the sonogram for you. ”
I took the black-and-white photo with both hands, staring at it like it was a miracle. “We did this,” I said quietly.
Egypt wiped her face, smiling through tears. “Yeah. We did.”
My baby’s heartbeat was still echoing in my ears.
That soft, steady rhythm. It was strong and perfect.
I ain’t never heard anything more beautiful in my life.
We stood there in the hallway of the clinic, the picture of the ultrasound in my hand, Egypt’s fingers curled into mine.
I was floating. No bullshit, I felt like I was walking on air, like none of the darkness hanging around me could touch us in that moment.
“Look at that lil’ head,” I said, holding the picture up again, beaming like a proud ass father already. “Tell me that ain’t my mini-me.”
Egypt laughed, all sweet and soft. Her eyes had that little sparkle again. “It looks like a lima bean, Nas. Relax.”
“Aye, lima bean gon’ be built like they daddy though,” I grinned, draping my arm over her shoulder as we walked out to the parking lot. “I’m sayin’, that nose? That forehead? That’s all me.”
She nudged me, shaking her head. “Delusional.”
The sun was beaming down, that LA heat creeping up, but it didn’t bother me. I was too focused on her. Too lost in this high I hadn’t felt in weeks. Not since the fight. Not since Memphis. Not since I almost lost her for good.
“I meant what I said earlier,” I told her, watching the wind tug at her curls. “I feel whole again… like this finally feel right.”
Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes this time, and before I could ask why, I heard it. That click, it was subtle but sharp. It was also too fucking familiar.
I turned my head slow, too slow, and two men were walking toward us from between the rows of cars. They had on dark hoodies, black gloves but no masks.
“Stay behind me,” I said low, stepping in front of Egypt, my body instantly tense.
“What the fuck—” she started, but I held my arm out.
One of the men grinned. “Damn. Look at that. Love in the air.”
“Keep walkin’,” I said. My voice didn’t shake even though fear gripped my fuckin’ spine.
The second man lifted the piece from his waistband.
Egypt sucked in a breath, clutching her purse like it was her lifeline.
“We don’t want no problems,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on the gun. “Take whatever you want.”
The first man chuckled. “We ain’t here to rob you.” That chill crawled down my spine again, cold and slow. “We here with a message,” he added, then smirked. “Nate sends his regards.” That’s when the second man raised his gun and pointed it dead at Egypt.
“NO!” I lunged forward, instinct kicking in like a motherfucker, and everything happened fast. Too fuckin’ fast.
I saw his finger start to pull. I saw Egypt flinch. I saw red. And then, I felt hot, searing pain to my side. It felt like my whole side was on fire. Egypt screamed. I stumbled, felt my knees buckle. My hand gripped the nearest car, trying to hold myself up, but the world started tilting sideways.
The men were gone. I didn’t even see them run. Suddenly, I heard tires screech, Egypt crying, my name on her lips over and over and over.
“Nasseem! Oh my God—no, no, no, no—stay with me, baby, please?—”
I hit the ground, slow. The last thing I remember was her face hovering over mine, blurred by tears. I felt cold, so fucking cold. But even through the pain, I held onto that ultrasound picture. Blood on my fingertips. My hand curled tight around that tiny photo of our baby.
I looked up at her, heart hammering out of my chest. “I love you…”
Then everything went black.