Chapter 8
EIGHT
Roxie
It’s been a few days, and things are finally back to normal.
Well, as normal as things can be when Fern and I are both shacked up with overprotective shifters.
“Any side effects still lingering?” Fern asks as she passes me a hot chocolate and curls up on the other end of the couch.
“Nope. I’m back to feeling 100 percent. Energy is back, appetite, everything is good.”
“Good. You had us all worried there for a bit.”
“I know. Me too, but the drugs are out of my system now.”
“Any, um… any nightmares?” she asks carefully.
“Yeah, sometimes. Some mornings, I wake up and don’t know where I am right away. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I’m right back there in that motel or the car.”
“It was the same for me for a while.”
“Really?”
She sighs. “Yeah. It lasted for a few weeks.”
“What helped?”
“Jameson,” Fern says with a dreamy smile. “He was always there when I woke up. Just feeling his arms around me was comforting. He grounded me. I knew that nothing bad could happen to me when he was around.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“It’s the truth. You don’t feel that way about Abe?”
“I… I don’t know. I woke up this morning, and it was like my whole body was on fire. This ache has been building inside me for a couple of days now, but it’s so much stronger today.”
“It’s the night of the full moon,” she says. “You’re feeling the mating heat.”
“Can you feel it, too?”
“Oh, yeah.” She laughs. “I thought maybe it wouldn’t be as strong the second time, but it is.”
“It’s weird.”
She snorts. “Feeling horny?”
I grin. “No! I mean, I never really noticed boys before, never thought that much about sex. Then I meet Abe and BAM! Now it feels like all I can think about is screwing his brains out.”
“It doesn’t get better,” she warns me.
“How was it? Having sex?”
“Amazing.” She sighs wistfully. “Jameson was so patient and attentive. He got me off so many times that first night. We were both insatiable.”
“Do you think Abe will be the same way?” I ask nervously.
“Oh, yeah. You should see the way he looks at you, Roxie! I mean, every time he walks into the room, his eyes zero in on you. I swear he doesn’t even realize other people are in the room.”
“That’s not true!” I protest.
Fern laughs. “It totally is. The question is, how do you feel about him?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I want him. I’m attracted to him, insanely so, but I just… I don’t know if I can stay here. I don’t know how you do it. I’m so afraid that something bad will happen, that those men will find me and kidnap me again.”
“Abe won’t let that happen.”
“I wish I could be that confident.”
She crawls closer and wraps her arms around me. “You’re okay, Roxie. You’re safe.”
Tears spill from my eyes, and I sniffle as I hug her back.
“I’m so torn,” I admit. “I want Abe so badly, but I don’t want to live every day of my life in fear. I don’t want to always have to look over my shoulder.”
“You want to move? Abe would move for you.”
I sniffle again. “I don’t want to force him to leave all his friends and the pack behind. I don’t want to leave you either. It was supposed to be us in a new place together. I don’t want to live away from you. You’re my family.”
“And you’re mine. Jameson and I would leave. We’d come with you,” she promises.
“I know you’re happy here—”
Fern shakes her head. “I’m happy when I’m with you. We’re family.”
We sit, arms wrapped around each other for a moment, as I get myself under control.
“You can stay here if you want. Jameson and I would love to have you.”
“I can’t. I told Abe that, and he said no.”
Fern smirks. “What are you going to do tonight?”
“I don’t know. I want to give in to this thing between us. I want what you have with Jameson, but I don’t want to be with him, then demand that we move so he has to give up his whole life here.”
“Do you see a future with him?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “He’s the only man I’ve ever envisioned a life with. He’s smart and so sweet. Protective and generous. He’s always looking out for me, and it’s good to have someone doing that.”
Fern sighs. “Sounds perfect.”
“I just… I wish he weren’t so overprotective. I want to be able to make my own decisions, and he doesn’t always let me do that.”
“He’s just trying to keep you safe,” she points out.
“I know, but after my parents and those weeks with the cult, I need some freedom and breathing room.”
“You should tell him that. I know he’d do anything for you, including giving you space.”
“Maybe.”
The front door opens, and Jameson stalks in. He’s always kind of intense, but tonight it’s on a whole other level.
“Mate,” he growls.
Fern tenses beside me.
I look at her and see the flush of need on her face.
“I should go,” I blurt, jumping to my feet.
They both nod distractedly.
I grab my things and head for the door. Neither of them pays me any mind as I leave and close the door behind me.
The sun is starting to set, and I know I should head back to Abe’s house. He’s been giving me space all day, and I wonder if Fern is right. Would he stop his overprotective tendencies if I asked?
I step down off their front porch and jerk to a stop when a car starts and heads up the drive. I frown when I see that it’s Abe.
“Have you been parked at the end of the driveway all day?” I ask as he climbs out of the car and heads my way. “I thought you went home after you dropped me off this morning.”
“I didn’t want you to walk home by yourself,” he says.
I sigh. “I think we need to talk.”
“Talk?” he asks nervously as he opens the passenger door for me.
“Listen, I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but I need some space. I need freedom. It feels like I traded one cage with the cult for this one with you.”
“You feel caged?” He looks stricken at my words.
“Yeah. You never let me decide anything.”
“That’s not true,” he argues.
I glare at him. “You asked me if I was hungry the other night. I said no, but you made me food anyway.”
“I don’t want you to be hungry.”
I roll my eyes. “I wasn’t! That’s my point.”
“I… okay, I can give you that.”
“I don’t think I believe you.”
He frowns. “I can. But… I need to keep you safe. To know you’re happy and taken care of. I know you’re anxious about living so close to the cult, and I thought that always being around would put you at ease. I can see now that I was suffocating you, and I’m sorry.”
I feel bad. He looks so upset with himself.
“It’s not always a bad thing,” I backtrack. “Sometimes, it’s nice to know that you care for me so much. I just… I want to be able to make some of my own decisions.”
“Okay, I can do that,” he promises.
He looks so hopeful and adorable. The sun lowers behind the horizon, and I can feel the mating heat growing even stronger.
Abe leans away from me, and I realize he can feel it, too, but he’s holding himself back. Watching him deny his own needs so he can take care of me and make me feel safe and secure is so damn hot.
I think that’s the moment I fall for him.
“Let’s go home,” I say, my voice low and raspy.
I can hear the need in it, and I know Abe can, too. His body tenses, and my nipples harden in my bra as he closes my door and sprints around to the driver’s side.
I squirm in my seat on the drive home, and by the time he parks out front, I feel like I’m burning alive.
I’m so tired of fighting and waiting for the perfect moment to go after the things I want.
Abe parks and hops out to get my door. His eyes are dark as he stares at me, and I shiver as I meet his gaze.
“Kiss me,” I croak.
It’s as if his control snaps in an instant.
He cups my face, and then his lips are on mine. His mouth is warm and sure, the slightest brush of his lips stealing the breath from my lungs. For a second, I forget how to do basic things like inhale or stand upright.
My hands fly up, gripping the front of his shirt, needing that anchor as the world tilts.
He groans softly, like he’s been starving for this, and the sound vibrates right through me.
His thumbs stroke my cheeks, gentle even though the rest of him feels wound tight as a bowstring.
He doesn’t devour, doesn’t rush. He kisses me like he’s honoring a promise instead of claiming a prize, coaxing my mouth open, letting me taste him slowly.
Heat coils low in my belly. The ache I’ve been trying to ignore flares bright and demanding, but there’s something else there, too. Safety. Rightness. That grounding feeling that Fern talked about.
I melt closer before I even realize I’m moving. Abe angles his head, deepening the kiss, but he still holds back, like every second he’s reminding himself not to push, not to take too much.
His forehead rests against mine when he finally pulls back for air, his breathing ragged.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispers, voice rough. “And I will. I don’t care what night it is. I don’t care about the mate bond. You come first, Roxie. Always.”
That cracks me wide open because he means it. Because where everyone else has taken from me, here he is… asking. Giving.
“I don’t want you to stop,” I breathe, my fingers curling into his shirt like I could pull him into my bones. “I just… need you. Not because of the heat. Because it’s you.”
His eyes soften, all that wild intensity gentling as he searches my face. Whatever he sees there must reassure him because his lips curve in a faint, reverent smile.
“Okay,” he murmurs. “Then we go slow. We do this together.”
He presses another kiss to my lips, sweet this time, lingering, before threading his fingers through mine. The contact steadies me, settling something restless inside my chest. For the first time since everything fell apart, stepping forward doesn’t feel like walking into a cage.
“Are you hungry?” he asks as we head up to the house.
“No.”
“Are you sure? I can make something—”
“Abe!” I snap.
“Sorry,” he says sheepishly
“Don’t feed me. Just… take me to bed.”