Chapter 9
Nyxeris
“Istill can’t believe this.”
Zephyr leans in close to a painting hanging on the wall in a repurposed classroom, depicting the most horrific treatment of Omegas. My brain won’t fully process it. I keep looking, blinking, and the image remains almost hazed, fuzzy.
“I’m not alone,” he breathes.
My gaze snaps to this beautiful young man’s profile, watching as a tear slips from his eye.
Using our already joined hands, I tug him a bit closer and kiss the teardrop when it settles on his chiseled jaw, drawing the salty wetness between my lips.
His rounded lilac eyes stare down at me a beat before he lets out a forced laugh.
His discomfort settles in my chest as mine.
Although he’s an Omega, so much of the way he acts is like an Alpha. I’ve never seen anything like it; never met anyone like my Zeph.
We’ve spent weeks together, only leaving one another’s sides when absolutely necessary.
I know that being together brings him a semblance of peace, as it does me. Our bond has grown just by spending time together.
There are moments that I know what he’s going to do before he does it, or can almost hear what he’s thinking.
When I didn’t know anything about pack bonds, the thought of such closeness would have frightened me. But now, it’s like I’ve never been without this bond. Never been without Zephyr.
I don’t know what he’s been through, but I will stand by him when he’s ready to tell me, no matter what.
And something tells me that he’s going to need me more than ever when he shares his story.
Our Beta instructor, Professor Hadley, approaches us with wary concern.
He’d been one of our history professors for as long as I can remember.
Like his partner, Gayle Jónsdóttir, the academy’s Omega nurse, he sided with the rebellion.
Neither of them are Cursed, and instead of distrust or disdain, this fact gained them both respect, along with anyone else who did the same.
They all went through a lot of vetting, and they readily submitted to tests of loyalty. From what I’ve heard, those tests involved Cursed who can read minds, like Colt.
Those Betas who failed were never seen again.
When this new Global History class began, Professor Hadley had addressed us all.
“I know that I am not one of you, but I stand with you,” he’d said.
Rumor had it that he’d taken out a few GBE soldiers himself.
“Are you two handling this alright?” Hadley whispers in the near-total silence of the room, concern growing in his gaze.
“I’m not sure,” I confess, stealing a look at Zeph, whose gaze is still trained on the enormous painting in front of us I’m having trouble focusing on.
Hadley hums in understanding. “When I learned of the truth, I threw up.” He frowns.
“My being a Beta is nothing compared to being Cursed, especially as an Omega, but learning that my ancestors are responsible for so much horror…” His head shakes and he looks down at his feet before turning his gaze back up at us.
“I am here for you, if you need to talk, or if you have any questions.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and he nods before moving on to the next group.
When I turn back to the painting, something shifts inside me. That haze lifts, and I can actually see it now, in great detail. The horror, the torture, the gore.
My breath catches.
Severed heads on pikes and tossed to the ground like trash, all with designation brands on their foreheads.
Expressions lax, gaping mouths, shredded necks making them look torn off instead of cut.
Piles of headless bodies burning in blazing infernos all along the background.
On either side in the foreground are nude and chained people, mostly hulking men, wailing in agony, clawing at the scene before them, some at their own eyes.
Their silent screams are so palpable, I can hear them. The horror so intense, I feel it.
Bile works its way up my throat, and I swallow, double over, unable to catch my breath.
That would have been us. That would have been me and Zeph, dead, leaving Erich and Laurant behind to turn feral in mourning rage.
The world tilts, and Zephyr is there, scooping me into his arms, letting out a soothing shushing noise. He holds me tight as I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face in his neck, breathe in his calming scent.
It isn’t until we’re outside my dorm room that he speaks, and I realize we’ve left class. “Finger, love.”
I do my best to clear my head and place my finger on the biometric lock, allowing Zeph to bring me inside and shut the door behind us.
He gently places me on the bed, sits beside me, rubs my outer thigh in slow strokes. “You’re alright, darlin’,” he hums. “Breathe.”
His comforting words and actions soothe me, but also pull me out of the strange, alien despair I’d fallen into.
A heavy feeling fills my chest, a voice in my mind whispers on a hiss, You’re not the one who needs comfort.
The voice is right. I am stronger than this.
So, what happened to me? Unless… what if these feelings weren’t actually mine?
Sitting up, I take Zeph’s hand, a sense of calm washing over me.
How many times over the years had Zephyr needed the comfort he’s giving me right now, with no one there to help him? Every single night? Endlessly?
My gaze locks on Zephyr’s. On auto drive, I bring his hand to my sternum, never wavering eye contact, and just breathe, my palm to the back of his hand.
For a moment, his brows draw in confusion, then they slowly relax, his blinks calm, lids grow heavy, pupils dilate until his pale irises make up half the space.
I squeeze his fingers, light but firm, continuing to breathe steadily.
I concentrate on Zephyr, his heart and mind, his spirit, shattered and aching, until I’m overwhelmed with sadness and fear that isn’t mine.
All the emotions he won’t let himself feel, everything he keeps pushed deep down inside and tries to bury.
My lips part on a silent sob as tears stream down my face. His unshed tears.
Neither of us moves. We stay connected as I hug his hand closer to my chest, feel the warmth of his skin, his pulse beginning to beat in time with mine.
“Nyx,” he says on a sigh, breaking our eye contact for the first time, pulling me into his strong embrace.
He’s tall and muscular enough to be mistaken for an Alpha, based on looks alone. But that sweet perfume of his gives his designation away immediately.
I have so many questions I want to ask. So much I want to learn about him. But I keep silent, wrap my arms around his torso, snuggle into his flesh and breathe him in. Connected, comforted.
“I wish I could purr for you.”
He chokes on the words that both shock me and break my heart.
I pull back to look at his beautiful face, angular yet soft, masculine and approachable. His cheeks are wet now, and I move my hands to wipe them dry with my fingers, lips parted in unvoiced question.
Why would he want to purr like an Alpha?
He presses his lips between his teeth before sniffing and sighing. His head drops and shakes, and I take his hand back in my grasp. I dare not speak. Instinct dictates he needs to work through this on his own. And I want what’s best for my Zeph.
His mouth opens and closes a few times before his body collapses in on itself, though he doesn’t take his hand from me.
“You can feel me,” he whispers.
“Yes.”
A humorless laugh. “Then you know I’m broken.”
I bring his hand to my lips and kiss across his knuckles. “You aren’t.”
His head snaps up at me, and he stares for what feels like an eternity, but maybe it’s only a few seconds.
“I…” he swallows hard, deflates again. “I was nine when my curse manifested. Just a little farm boy with two parents and a baby sister. When I vanished a bale of hay I was supposed to move, I was so frightened. I never told a soul.” His head shakes.
“I should have. Then, the worst wouldn’t have happened. ”
His watery eyes meet mine. “One night, I had a nightmare. When I woke, half the house was gone. As were my parents and sister.”
My heart races, his pain so strong it courses through my veins, constricts my muscles. But my concern for him is stronger.
“Zeph…”
“It didn’t take long for people to notice.
We didn’t have close neighbors, but we received deliveries often.
” His head drops again. “I was taken away, labeled a murderer.” Swallow.
“Europa is a high no-tolerance region, so they were quick to call GBE forces, fearful I’d kill everyone around me out of anger.
” His head shakes slow. “They thought I’d killed my family on purpose. ”
My palm absently rubs the top of his hand, up his forearm, to his elbow and back to his fingers at my chest, slow and light.
I know he didn’t do it on purpose. None of us who hurt someone when our curses—our powers—manifest actually mean to cause harm. Not all of us hurt or killed, but those who did were further demonized for it.
“It didn’t take long for me to wind up in Tenebrosa.
I found myself the youngest person there.
” A deep breath. “At first, the scientists told me they wanted to study my power. They’d force me to demonstrate over and over again until I would pass out from exhaustion.
But things changed when I got to be around fifteen.
” His voice is almost all air now. “The lead scientist at the time, Doctor Ness, took an… interest in me.”
He goes quiet, and I keep up my soothing arm rubs, pairing it with my free hand on his knee.
The way he says it, though, makes my heart clench.
“He’d tell me, ‘You’re not like other male Omegas. I’m going to find out why.’”
His entire body stills dangerously, his gaze straight ahead, staring into nothingness, lost in some memory I’m desperate to free him from.
“Hey,” I say, drawing his attention back to me. “You don’t have to tell me everything right now.”
In a blink, he’s on his feet, out of my grasp, looking like a scared animal. A few long strides and he’s at the door. “I’m sorry,” he whispers before fleeing my room.