Chapter 13
Erich
There’s a fire burning in my chest, and it isn’t my power.
It’s rage.
Somehow, that Omega has won my Nyx’s heart. The scent of their mating clings to them both, sickly sweet, mouthwatering, infuriating.
I followed them outside to the nearest courtyard out back, watched them walk hand-in-hand to one of the stone benches in the shade of a tree starting to bloom in the warming weather.
Nyx smiles at that Omega, her blood-red hair catching in the breeze as she leans in and kisses his lips sweetly. It’s just a peck, so quick it should barely count, but it does. It so fucking does.
“You’re gonna break a tooth, man.”
I start, spin toward the voice to find one of the new residents, a Cursed Alpha who’d been undercover as a GBE soldier. He has blond hair like that Zephyr, but this guy’s is styled and well-kept instead of wild. His light green eyes peer at me with a steady gaze, brows raised a touch.
When he looks back at the scene that’s been tormenting me for way too long, he frowns.
“Is she your mate?”
An unbidden growl forms in my chest.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He’s looking at me again.
“I was there, stationed at Tenebrosa. Spent years witnessing the horrors, unable to do anything to help.” He gestures toward Nyx and Zephyr with his chin.
“That kid has been through more than I can say. Probably more than I even know.” His gaze turns back to them, his voice wistful.
“Never seen him so happy. Or happy at all, actually.”
The fire behind my sternum cools a bit. “I didn’t know.”
His head whips back to me. “You haven’t talked to him?”
My head shakes slow, brow tight. “Not a word.”
“But…” he trails off, confused. “If she’s your mate, and they’re obviously mated to one another, then he…”
I huff and frown.
“Ah…” a humorless laugh slips from him. “You’re in the same boat as me.”
My brows draw tighter at this. “You?”
It’s his turn to frown, lips pursed, jaw working. “My Omega wants nothing to do with me. Or my would-be pack brothers.”
An understanding nod from me, then a sigh. “I thought things would be different once they kicked the GBE out of here.”
“Things are different,” he says. “You just need to look around you to see. Look at them,” he waves his arm in their direction.
They’d never had been able to show affection in public before the rebellion came here. Yet there they are, looking carefree and filled with joy.
So what the fuck is holding me back?
I blink at the guy beside me as he begins to turn away. “I’m Erich.”
He looks back at me and nods. “Lucas.”
“Good luck with your situation, Lucas.”
“Likewise.” A halfhearted salute, and he’s walking away from me, back toward the building.
My eyes drift back to Nyx and find a pair of lavender eyes peering right at me, steady and challenging, carrying a message I can only guess.
Something like, “Stop being an idiot,” by the looks of it.
Maybe… maybe I can actually have what I’ve always wanted. Maybe if I stopped being so fucking frightened.
Before, I’d feared for our lives, just like every other Cursed here and across the globe. And while that threat still looms to an extent, it’s now the petrifying thought that I could actually get what I want, only to have it ripped away, that stops me from seeking happiness.
When Nyx begins scrolling through her tablet, saying something I can’t hear, Zephyr sends me a frustrated look that makes me grimace. A moment later, he smiles at Nyx, speaks to her before rising to his feet and kissing the top of her head.
He doesn’t say a word to me, standing here among the shrubs, as he passes by to get to the academy building.
But if his looks could kill, I’d be worm food.
All right.
All right.
It’s time…
No, it’s way past time, but I can’t do anything about the past, only take charge of the present. And future.
On stiff legs, I emerge from my terrible hiding spot and begin my trek down the walkway to where Nyx is seated.
At first, she’s still engrossed in her tablet, but then I watch as her nostrils flare and her head whips up at me, chocolate eyes round, then narrowed, like she doesn’t understand why I’m approaching her.
Which I guess is fair.
I really haven’t been a good person. Or friend. Or Alpha.
Definitely not a good mate.
Fuck.
I hold my palms out to her, wince at the rough sound of my voice. “Am I interrupting?”
Her brow twitches and she tosses her hair over her shoulder before shaking her head, no. “Just catching up on some research.”
“May I…” I clear my throat, then sigh. “May I sit with you a minute?”
Her brow rises this time, then she sweeps her arm to the empty side of the bench where Zephyr had been seated.
I approach gently, almost on tiptoes in my boots, which is a feat in itself.
Then I sit beside her, release a long breath, let myself hunch forward, elbows on my jean-covered knees.
Her scent of ozone and Fall leaves is saturated with lilac and the dark cherries of springtime.
I have to swallow my saliva, stifle a groan.
I do my best to keep my dick from stiffening because now is definitely not the time.
With eyes shut tight, face angled down at the stone path below, I whisper, “I’m sorry, Nyx.”
It’s a beat before she answers. “For what?”
“For not being there for you,” I breathe. “For failing at being your Alpha.”
“Are you sorry because you think you were wrong or because you know Zephyr and I have mated and it pisses you off?”
Ouch.
Fair, but ouch.
I straighten, turn to her. “Both.”
She lets out a small huff. “At least you’re being honest.”
“I…” My eyes close again as I search for the words. “I pride myself on being strong. Protective. And that’s why I stayed away.”
When I look at her again, she’s nodding. “It’s why we all have.”
Right. Fucking Laurant. Who can forget about that dickhead?
She laughs at me, and I realize my expression gives away my distaste.
“There’s a reason we’re fated for each other, Erich. All of us.” She rests her palm lightly on my forearm, and the contact of her skin makes my chest rumble.
A purr. Holy shit, I’m trying to purr.
Nyx lets out a small gasp, but doesn’t remove her hand. And I hold out my other arm, coaxing her near.
Her hesitation is like a knife to my heart, but she does come closer, slow, tentative. And when her head leans against my chest, I wrap my arms around her, hold her tight, my purr growing loud, the vibration increasing enough I can feel it course through Nyx’s body.
She sighs, leans into me, and wraps her arms around my middle as I rest my chin on top of her head, stroke her long hair with one hand.
We stay there for a long time, gently rocking on the bench in each other’s arms, until her scent grows stronger, invading my senses.
I still the second a whine escapes her chest, followed by a pained sound. I pull her from me, hands gripping her upper arms so I can examine her as she grips her abdomen and groans.
“What… what’s wrong?” I ask in a rush.
Have I hurt her? Has my purr done this?
“I…” she hisses with pain, turns those dark eyes up at me. “I think I’m going… into heat.”
Heat.
Nyx is… going… into heat?
Something snaps inside me, that protective instinct roaring to life through my body.
I rise to my feet, scoop Nyx into my arms, and rush back to the academy building, holding her close and tightly as I navigate through a thin crowd for the stairs. I look at no one, all the while my purr remains strong.
Nyx whimpers and nuzzles the base of my neck, sending jolts of lust straight down to my cock, which stiffens uncomfortably behind the fly of my jeans.
Outside my dorm room, I bend my knees to reach and unlock the door without releasing my Omega, push the handle, kick the door open and then shut it behind me. Bypassing my old roommate’s bed, I head for mine in the back of the room and gently deposit Nyx on top of the covers.
She moans and writhes, grips her stomach, breath coming faster to match my increased heart rate.
What the fuck do I do?
I mean, I know what I’d do if our relationship were normal, but it isn’t. And that’s my fucking fault.
Shit.
I rake my fingers through my hair and pace at the foot of the bed like a caged animal, until an unwanted thought invades my mind and I stop to look down at her.
Nyx’s dark red hair is fanned across my pillow, her eyes are shut tight in pain, her body twisting side to side as she groans.
This can’t go on.
“Do you… want me to get Zephyr?”
I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
But I’d do anything to ease my Omega’s pain. Anything.
At my voice, Nyx’s eyes slit open just enough to see me. “No.” Her voice is barely a breath. “I need you, Erich.”
It’s like my heart stops right there at those words. She needs me? After all I’ve done—or, rather, haven’t done?
Is it really me she needs, or am I just the closest Alpha to her, and instinct is dictating that she needs a knot right now?
I’m a statue at the foot of the bed when her eyes open wider, tears glistening in those chocolate pools. “Do you not want me?”
Horror washes over me. “That’s not it,” I say in a rush. “That’s not it at all, Nyx. I want you. I’ve wanted you since we were teens. I think of you every second of the day, waking or not.”
Confusion mars her brow, and she moves slowly to rise up onto her knees. “Then… why aren’t you helping me?”
Pain pierces my chest, and I grasp at it absently. “Because I don’t know if you want me, or if you need to be knotted, and I’m the only one here right now.”
She looks so sad when I’ve finished talking that I wish I could swallow my words from existence.
Nyx shuffles closer on her knees, reaches out to me, drawing me to her like some siren.
Her fingertips softly graze the sides of my face, and she looks up at me, wincing every so often from the pain.
“I need you.” Her perfume billows, enveloping my senses. “I want you.”
My eyes shut, lips part, and I inhale the skin of her palm, nuzzling it, my cock turning to diamond.
This is almost everything I could have asked for. And yet…
I take her wrists, pull her hands from my face to rest her palms on my chest and peer down at her. My vision swims.
“I need you to love me.”
Her lips part on a small gasp as a tear falls from her eye, runs down her cheek and drips from her jaw to her shirt.
“Erich.” Her voice is stronger now, like some of the haze has lifted. “I’ve always loved you.”
Her words are like a balm to my burning soul as I blink down at her, a wet droplet falling from my eye as well. “You have?”
A small smile dances across her luscious lips. “Since the day we met.”
A breath I didn’t know I’d been holding whooshes from my lungs, my shoulders loosening along with it. “Say it again.”
The corner of her mouth twitches. “I love you, Erich.”
I grasp her face between my palms, lean my forehead against hers, graze the tip of her nose with mine. “Again.”
“I love you.”
Twice before in my life has the beast in my chest awakened: The day I met Nyx, and the night she kissed me.
Right now, it roars like a wild animal, not with fury, but with pride that courses through my veins.
“I will love you for eternity.”
My words are sure and filled with reverence before I devour her lips.