16. Emily
Is this what dying feels like? I can’t breathe. I can’t think. My heart is falling to pieces with each step Liam takes away from me.
Why is he doing this to me? To us ?
“Liam!” I scream.
His steps don’t falter.
Once he’s out of sight, I fall to my knees. My chest physically hurts from the pain of my heart, and I rub my hand against it.
He didn’t fight. He didn’t even try.
What did my father say to him that made him give up on me so easily?
Did I really mean so little to him?
The sky darkens as the clouds begin blocking the sun, and the wind picks up. My hair whips around in swirls of red. The skin around my eyes burns from the ongoing river of tears that fall.
The temperature drastically decreases but is still not as icy as the blood flowing through my veins.
My fingers brush against the butterfly locket that Liam gave me, and I move my hand to wrap my fingers around it. The metal burns my skin at the reminder that this is reality. Liam threw us away.
“I. Don’t. Want. You.”
His words sear my ears like hot coals. Burning away the sweet nothings he used to whisper to me.
I turn toward my journal sitting on the throw blanket. The letter I was writing mocks me from the closed leather that binds the pages. He’ll never know the love I have for him. He’ll never read the words I poured my soul into. He didn’t give me a chance to even tell him what he means to me.
My stomach churns, the contents quickly climbing up my throat. I run to the nearest tree and heave everything I’ve eaten today onto its roots.
I stand straight and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and release a ragged breath to slow my galloping heart.
Fine… If he can throw everything away like it was nothing, then I guess moving on and moving to the penthouse is my only option.
Even if the pain is unbearable.
Steeling my back, I walk over and pack up my things before making my way back to the mansion.
My bags are loaded into the trunk of Declan’s SUV. He watches me with pity-filled eyes and it’s an effort to ignore him.
It didn’t take me long to pack what I needed. The quicker I leave this place, the quicker I can get away from Liam.
“Em, everything will be okay.” Declan steps over to me and pulls me into his arms.
My eyes burn as I hold back my emotions. I’ve cried so much in the last few hours; I don’t know how I still have tears to cry.
Declan is oblivious to the reason behind my heartbreak. I’m not vindictive enough to tell him about Liam. To confide in my big brother that the love of my life doesn’t love me back.
He’ll kill him before I even finish the sentence.
Declan kisses my temple lightly then he pulls away.
“Come on, the traffic is going to be shit right now.” He reaches for the passenger door and opens it for me.
I turn toward the mansion doors in time to see Liam and Rhys walking out. He doesn’t spare me a glance as he hops into the SUV, and they speed away.
Another fissure in my heart shatters.
Thunder rumbles in the dark cloud-filled sky and then it begins to downpour. Within seconds, my hair is drenched and sticking to the sides of my face and my neck.
“Em?”
I turn back to Declan who raises a brow and gestures his chin toward the opened door.
Soundlessly, I slide into the leather seat and buckle my seatbelt.
Declan closes the door and then walks around the front of the SUV to the driver’s side. Buckling himself in, he shifts the car into drive, and we coast down the driveway.
When he turns his head to peer at me, I turn to stare out of the window. The trees that line the gravel road are a green blur as my vision becomes unfocused.
“Is marrying Ryan really going to be that bad? Has he hurt you?” He grits that last question.
I shake my head but don’t say a word.
“Talk to me, Em. You’re being too quiet.”
I’ve been able to confide in Declan as much as a younger sister can to her older brother. But I can’t talk to him about this. I can’t hide the pain that I have within me.
“I’m fine.” I say with little emotion in my voice.
I hear him release a sigh and then a hand is wrapped around mine. I peer down at it, studying the skeleton fingers he has tattooed over his.
Liam has a rose tattooed over his hand. I loved to trace the lines with the tips of my fingers when we’d lay in the wildflowers. When I asked him why he got it, he shrugged and said because he wanted to.
All of Declan’s tattoos have some sort of meaning. From the owl he has across his throat, to the stupid worm he has on his knee. He was sixteen when he and Rhys bought a tattoo gun and tattooed each other.
I feel the tears start to gather in my eyes and quickly blink them away. All of my recent happy memories include Liam in some way.
How do I let that go?
“I’m fine, Dec. Really. Ryan is… Ryan is great.” I plaster a fake smile on my way.
Declan gives me a pointed look that tells me he knows I’m hiding something. But he doesn’t push – and for that I’m thankful.
With a gentle squeeze, he releases my hand and continues driving toward the penthouse.
The elevator pings and the doors open to the vast entrance of the penthouse. The contrast between charcoal and white fills me with nostalgia. When Declan bought this place a couple of years back, I made him remodel everything and threatened to castrate him if he made it a typical-looking bachelor pad.
I’m glad to see he kept it that way.
I haven’t been to the penthouse in at least a year. I had no reason to. I also had no desire to see or hear Declan with his next fuck.
But I guess now, I won’t have a choice.
My phone chimes with an incoming text, and I pull it from my back pocket.
Ryan Monroe:
Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?
Ugh.
“I’m having Jackie over tonight.”
I don’t bother hiding the disgust that mars my face. Jackie isn’t bad , per se, but she’s an airhead who walks around like she owns the place. She’s also a whore.
Okay, that’s mean. Declan is also a whore, and I don’t really judge him for it.
I quickly reply that I’d love to, even though I don’t. I don’t want to be here with Jackie. She’ll bother me about looking like shit the whole time.
“I’m going to go out to dinner with Ryan. I’m going to get ready now.”
He nods. “Alright, I’ll see you later then.”
I nod and then make my way down to the guest room.
My bags sit on my bed when I step inside my room. The plush carpet quiets my steps the further I walk inside.
Unzipping the first bag, I pull out a white pantsuit and lay it on the mattress.
I need to wash off this depressing day.
Setting out the rest of my outfit, I head to the ensuite to shower.