21. Emily
I cling to Liam’s neck as he runs toward the SUV. The scent of his cologne is mixed with the coppery tang of blood and my stomach twists at the stench.
They’re dead.
My dad and Ryan are dead.
The scene replays in my head in a never-ending loop. Shock and heartache overwhelm my system.
I’m struggling to grasp the reality of what happened.
“Are you hurt?” Liam says. His voice is thick with panic and concern.
I silently shake my head. I can’t gather the ability to speak. The words are trapped deep within me and refuse to rise.
He gently sets me on my feet and opens the passenger door. My eyes remain locked on the ground as he guides me toward my seat. My movements are on autopilot when I climb into the vehicle.
Liam reaches over and buckles my seatbelt. When I’m safely buckled, he brings his eyes to mine. My eyes flutter at the concern that radiates through him. The comfort that the swirls of green and amber bring is accompanied by pain.
“I’m so sorry, Emily.” His fingers caress my cheek tenderly and my lip quivers.
When I don’t respond, he presses a soft kiss on my forehead and then closes the door. I watch as he rounds the hood of the car and climbs into the driver’s seat. Turning the ignition, he shifts into drive, and we make our way away from the venue and away from the bloody madness inside.
The drive home is a blur. My emotions are in absolute mayhem. I’m so overwhelmed by them that I sit staring out of the window in a frozen state. Liam drives in silence but every so often, I feel the tingle of his gaze on me.
“Em?”
I close my eyes at the sound of his voice and swallow the lump that is choking me.
“I’m here if you need me.” He says softly, and I feel the burn of tears gathering in my eyes.
I don’t want to find comfort in him. I won’t be strong enough to have him push me away again.
When he reaches a hand toward mine, I gently pull it away without turning to face him. The energy between us is strained and I want to escape it as soon as possible.
I feel my muscles slightly relax with each mile we put between us and the city. The skyscrapers transform into open plains and green forests. The vehicle jostles as it drives from the paved road to the gravel road leading to the estate.
I see the path leading to the garden and my throat tightens. Grief fills me and I struggle to hold back the sob that wants to break through. Everything is different than when I was here last and it’s heartbreaking.
How can a place that once brought me so much joy cause me so much sadness?
The car comes to a stop in front of the mansion. Declan and Rhys are standing at the bottom of the steps in tactical gear, barking orders to the men who are loading weapons into a truck.
My heart begins to race at the thought of them going back.
I’m pushing the door open and running toward them before Liam has a chance to turn the ignition off.
I throw myself into Declan’s arms when I reach him, and he envelops me.
“You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.” He murmurs against my hair, and I sob uncontrollably.
“Where’s ma?” I ask as I pull away from him.
He scans my body for injuries before replying.
“She’s inside. She’s working on getting information about who would have leaked our location. There weren’t many people who knew about the banquet."
“How is she?” I whisper.
Sadness fills his eyes, and he gives me a small smile. “She hasn’t stopped long enough to let it set in.”
I nod in understanding. The sudden loss of my father in such a violent way, no doubt, has led my ma to push her emotions down. Instead, she’s going to retaliate before the shock wears off.
I feel Liam step up behind me and my body tingles in awareness. I avoid turning around and instead turn to Rhys who pulls me into a tight hug. He cups the back of my head and plants a kiss on my temple.
“I’m glad you’re safe, kid.”
With a fine squeeze, he lets me go and steps back. His eyes glance over my shoulder and harden before he peers down at me and smiles.
My brows pull inward, and I study his face. But of course, Rhys’s poker face shows no indication of what he’s thinking.
“Liam, get ready to head back with us. We’re not going to give those fuckers time to meet at another location.”
My chest constricts.
He’s going back too?
What if I lose him?
I flex my fingers and try to mask the anxiety that grows. Rhys is studying me and sends me a soft smile when I meet his eyes. Understanding it etched in them.
Does he know?
“Please be careful,” I say to Declan and Rhys. I’m indirectly addressing Liam, but still refuse to face him.
“Of course. Stay here with ma. The property will be on lockdown until we confirm they won’t come here.”
Every assignment they go on has a risk of them not coming back. But this one feels different. Declan isn’t just going for revenge. He’s going as the new leader of the Irish Mafia. This is his chance to show the underground that he’s in charge and what he’s capable of.
“Just… Please come back.” I choke on a sob.
Declan pulls me back into his arms and I hold onto him tightly. We hold each other for a long moment before he pulls away and kisses my forehead.
“I’ll see you later.”
He and Rhys turn on their heels and make their way to the train of blacked-out SUVs.
“Em,” Liam whispers.
I blow out a deep breath before spinning to face him. His hair is disheveled, and his clothes are covered in blood splatter. The bruises from his eyes have spread across his cheeks.
My palm tingles with the want to touch him but I force myself to stay still.
“ Féileacán –.”
“Don’t call me that.” I hold my hand up, interrupting him.
His eyes flick between mine and his shoulders slump.
“Emily… I’m so sorry about your daid.”
I rub my front teeth with my tongue while nodding. The fact that I can’t confide in Liam like I used to, sends a new wave of hurt through me. He was my everything and I was nothing but a hole for him to fill.
How could I have been so stupid?
He steps toward me and my muscles lock. He gently pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear and my lip quivers. I stare at his chest to avoid meeting his eyes.
“Look at me, Em.”
My heart drums through my ears and I feel each pound throughout my entire body. I close my eyes and shake my head.
When his callused fingers caress my cheek, I can’t help but lean into his touch. A tear slips from my eye and slowly falls down my face.
“I can’t do this.” I push him away from me and run up the steps to the mansion without looking back.