39. Liam
I sit with my back pressed against the headboard and watch the steady rise and fall of Emily’s chest as she sleeps. Her lips are slightly parted, hair mess of red tangles. Her fingers clutch onto the blanket as though it’ll be ripped away from her.
It took several hours for her to finally fall back asleep after waking from her nightmare. I lied awake until the sun rose, and when it shone through the window, I pulled the curtains to leave the room dark, aside from the lamp that sits on her nightstand.
My thoughts race as I try to come up with a way to help her sleep without resorting to medication. She hasn’t started to show any signs of withdrawal, but I know it’s coming soon.
I need to be prepared for it.
Leaning forward, I push away the hair from her forehead and press a light kiss to her skin before rising.
I need to go change before she wakes and sees me gone.
Swiftly and quietly, I exit her room.
As I make my way toward the front door, I’m stopped by the sound of Declan calling my name.
Stopping at the base of the staircase, I wait as he saunters over.
When he stops in front of me, his eyes flick up in the direction of Emily’s room before he meets my eyes. Irritation rises in his features and his jaw ticks.
Straightening my shoulders, I stand taller, refusing to be intimidated by him.
“What are you doing?” he grunts.
“Goin’ to get changed. I want to be back before Emily wakes up.”
“You stayed in her bed?” he growls, shifting closer.
“Yes. And I’ll continue to stay there until she tells me otherwise.” I ball my fist, waiting for him to make his move.
He studies me with a scowl planted on his face.
“I don’t approve of this.”
“Seeing as I don’t have a bullet in my skull, some part of you does.” I shrug.
His lip twitches and satisfaction flows through me.
Despite what he says, and despite the fact that I’m not worthy of her, Declan is okay with my being with Emily.
“I stopped you to tell you to pick up a few gallons of hydrofluoric acid. Paige has one last person to take care of.” He smirks when my brows shoot to my hairline.
“Does she plan to melt someone?” I ask.
“I have a feeling that’s exactly what she plans to do.”
I nod with an amused smirk and brows raised. Declan chuckles at my expression before sobering.
“As much as I hate to admit it, Emily can make her own decisions, and if being with you is one of them… Then I guess I’ll have to accept it.”
I’m working on making her see that but I’m not about to tell Declan that bit of information. He’d likely change his mind.
“I love her, Boss. I’ve always loved her.”
He nods, rolling his lips inward before stepping past me.
“See you later tonight.” He says over his shoulder, walking toward his office.
I watch until he’s out of sight. Making a quick detour to the kitchen, I ask Niall to prepare breakfast for Emily then head to the guardhouse.
Emily is still asleep when I step inside the room. She’s wrapped in her blankets in a tight ball. Her brows her pinched and her lips are pursed.
As if sensing my stare, she begins to stir. Muttering under her breath. I move closer and gently sit at the foot of the bed.
“Hi, baby,” I whisper.
Her eyes flutter open, and she looks at me with a confused expression. She sits up and rubs her eyes. A small smile sweeps over her beautiful face the moment her vision is cleared.
“Hi.” She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear.
I’ll never get used to this woman’s beauty. Every one of her features is absolute perfection.
“Did you sleep better?”
She shrugs and I frown.
A knock on the door pulls our attention. I stand and open it.
Ingrid is holding a tray with a plate of breakfast. With a brow raised, her gaze travels down my body in obvious suspicion. When her eyes meet mine and nods curtly, pushing the tray into my hands.
“Make sure she eats.” With that, she saunters down the hallway.
I kick the door shut with my foot and then take the tray to Emily.
She lightly scrunches her nose before masking her reaction. Trying to get Emily to eat is like pulling teeth. She knows she needs it, but she’ll eat as little as possible and then say she’s full.
“Don’t make that face,” I scold playfully.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You only just woke up; you need to eat.”
I gesture with my chin for Emily to sit against the headboard and then set it on her lap.
“I’m really not hungry. I need to talk to you about something important though.”
I tilt my head, brows furrowing.
“What about?”
Pursing her lips, she stares into my eyes. “I need that medication you threw out.”
My body tenses and my jaw clenches. Despite her features being blank, her eyes are pleading.
“I can’t sleep without them, Liam. I haven’t had a nightmare like that since I started taking them.”
“Emily, you were relying on that medication far too much. From what I saw under the sink, you weren’t exactly taking them like you were supposed to.”
Her eyes immediately fall to the tray.
“I’ll do better,” she mutters, pushing her utensils around with her forefinger.
As much as I’d like to trust her, I can’t. Being a part of this world, I’ve seen my fair share of what happens when you don’t take prescription medication as intended.
Addiction is a disease. It happens swiftly and silently. Slithering its way through every intertwined fiber of your DNA until it’s too late.
Peering down at her, I lick my lips, trying to formulate a way to make her understand that what she’s doing isn’t safe.
“What would your doctor say about how you’ve been taking your meds, Em?”
Even with her head down, I can see the grimace that flashes over her face.
“Call her.”
Her head whips up to me.
“Call who? Dr. Morrison?” She sputters.
I nod, picking up her phone off the nightstand and handing it to her. If she won’t listen to me, then maybe speaking to a medical professional will help.
She nibbles on her lip as she stares down at the black screen. Her fingers are trembling but I’m not sure if it’s from the beginning of withdrawal or nervousness of having to call her doctor.
With a sigh, Emily unlocks her phone and dials Dr. Morrison.
“Emily, hi. Is everything okay?” Dr. Morrison says when she answers the phone.
“Hi, Dr. Morrison. I was calling because I have a little issue that I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay, would this conversation be better served in my office?” she asks, voice laced with hesitant curiosity.
“I stopped my Ambien. M- My use of it wasn’t exactly… as I said it was.”
The silence on the other line causes Emily to fidget and pull on a stray piece of fabric from one of the blankets on her bed.
“Just to make sure I’m understanding,” Dr. Morrison says, “you are – or were – abusing your Ambien?”
Emily closes her eyes in shame and swallows roughly.
“Yes. I’m so sorry, Dr. Morrison. The medication was working with my sleep. I wasn’t having nightmares; it was taking the voices away and the demons left me alone.” Her voice cracks. “I wanted the feeling to stay so I started using it outside of the schedule you prescribed.”
Her eyes flick to mine quickly before she resumes playing with the fabric.
“I –.” she clears her throat, “I found someone who was able to get me a few other medications that I wasn’t prescribed.”
“What medications?”
She lists them off, some I recognize from when I went through her medications, others I don’t.
“Emily, did you abruptly stop these medications?”
“I threw them out,” I answer.
“And you are?” Dr. Morrison asks.
“Liam. I’m Emily’s.”
“Emily’s what?”
“Just, Emily’s.”
Emily’s eyes flash before narrowing at me, brows quirking.
“Okay well Liam, are you aware of the dangers of stopping medications abruptly?”
“I’m aware of withdrawal symptoms.”
“There are other – very serious – risks with stopping medications, especially without the supervision of a medical professional .” She chastises. “Emily, I want you to come into my office as soon as possible so we can discuss this further.”
“Okay,” Emily agrees, nodding, despite Dr. Morrison not being able to see her.
“And Liam?”
“Aye?”
“Do be sure to come with her.”
I curse inwardly.
“Will do,” I reply.
Once Dr. Morrison hangs up, Emily sets the phone next to her and then moves the tray from her lap.
Without meeting my gaze she says, “I’m going to get in the shower,” and disappears into the bathroom.