41. Liam
The closer we get to the garden; the more tense Emily becomes. Her face is drawn tight and her hand trembles in mine. Another piece of my heart fractures. Seeing that a place that used to mean so much to her – to us – is a place she’s dreading visiting.
Stepping into the clearing, Emily pauses and scans the space. The wildflowers have started to bloom with the warming of the weather, songbirds chirp wildly – as if to celebrate her return.
She takes a hesitant step forward and reaches out toward the first flower. The moment her finger caresses the soft petal, a small smile forms on her lips.
I release her hand and place my hands in my pockets. I watch as she moves from flower to flower.
Every so often, she will take in a deep breath. Soaking in the different smells that she once loved so much.
She moves through the foliage, toward the center of the garden and falls onto her knees. Her head falls to her hands and her shoulders bob as she begins to cry.
As much as I’d like to walk over and comfort her, she needs this.
When her breaths become less erratic, I step forward. She looks over her shoulder, her eyes are bloodshot, and her face is stained with tears.
I kneel next to her, and she leans into my side, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrap an arm around her.
We sit in a comfortable silence. The sounds of the garden surround us in a calmness that I don’t think Emily has felt since being rescued.
“I’m scared,” she whispers – nearly inaudibly.
I rub my hand up and down her arm. “Being scared is okay, it means what’s to come is going to push you and help you grow. Help you become stronger.”
She burrows herself closer to my side and I squeeze her tightly.
My phone dings in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see a message from Declan of an address for where I can pick up the acid he needs.
“Do you want to go inside? I have to go pick up some things for Paige and Declan.”
She shakes her head and pulls away from me. “I think I want to stay out here for a little while longer.”
When she looks into my eyes, they’re brighter than they’ve been in a long time and my heart expands at the sight.
“I will be right back.” I kiss her temple and stand.
She looks up at me with tired, but soft eyes.
“I love you, Féileacán.”
She smiles and it’s filled with warmth, but her eyes show the hesitance she has to say it back.
That’s okay.
I’ll win back Emily’s heart and this time I’ll never let go.
“Any reason you need so many gallons?” The stocky bald-headed man asks, hauling the hydrofluoric acid into the van.
“If you weren’t given that information then you don’t need to know.” I answer.
He holds his hands up, “I meant no harm. Just curious is all.”
“Well don’t ask. Curiosity killed the cat after all.” I say pointedly.
He nervously glances at my gun that I have on full display in my shoulder holster. Swallowing tightly, he lugs the final gallon into the van. I slam the door shut then hand him the envelope with his payment.
“Pleasure doin’ business with you.” He grunts when I slap a hand against his back.
Climbing into the van, I head back to the estate.
The drive takes longer than I expected due to the shite fucking traffic in the city. I’ll never understand traffic in the US. What is the purpose?
Of course, traffic does happen in Ireland but nothing of this scale. I’ve also learned what road rage is and struggle not to shoot people in the fecking face because of it.
I flex my fingers on the steering wheel and let out a frustrated breath. This driving at a snail’s pace is testing my fecking patience.
I just want to get back to Emily.
Finally, after nearly an hour of sitting at a standstill, I’m able to make it out of the city and toward the estate.
My head is a swarm of emotion as I listen to Save Me by Jelly Roll on the radio. The lyrics resonate with everything Emily is going through and it hurts. She’s trapped so deep within her mind that she truly thinks she’ll never be able to escape. Sometimes it seems like she doesn’t want to.
I don’t regret tossing her medication down the toilet. She needs to see that she can survive whatever torments her. She needs to see that it’s okay to be scared but she needs to fight. That’s the only way
she’ll be able to overcome her suffering and truly live.
My phone pings when I pull into the driveway of the estate.
Declan:
Where are you?
Me:
Unloading the acid now.
A moment later, Rhys and Declan are walking around the mansion from the outdoor entrance to the cellar.
“Hey, Liam.” Rhys greets, bending to lift a gallon.
“Liam, I need to speak with you before we head down there.”
I turn to Declan. His face shows signs of his mood.
“Boss?” I square my shoulders, maintaining eye contact with him.
He shakes his head with a low chuckle. “Calm down.”
My shoulders relax, only slightly.
“I’ve seen how different Emily is when you’re around versus when you’re not. I wanted to deny it when I shouldn’t have. It’s clear as day how you care for each other. Just…” he clears his throat. “Take care of her.” He meets my eyes and I see the love he has for his baby sister.
“I’d die for Emily.”
He scans my face and then nods. “Good. I expect nothing less for her.”
He moves to pick up two gallons of the acid and then strides toward the cellar entrance.
Rhys smirks at me then follows Declan.
Smiling, I bend and pick up the remaining two gallons then head inside.