52. Emily
I stand frozen against the wall opposite my ma who stares at me with sad-filled eyes. I expected her to come and see me, and I thought I was prepared for it. But seeing her before me has me feeling a plethora of emotions.
She looks older. The place between her brows has two lines indicating how often she furrows her brows. Her once bright red hair is dimmer with more gray strands than the last time I saw her.
“A irím uaim thú,” she whispers. I miss you .
My chest constricts and my throat swells to the point of suffocation.
“ Is fada liom uaim thú freisin ma” I miss you too, ma.
She moves toward me with her hands out, palms up. My lip quivers as the space between us shrinks. When her arms wrap around me, tears flood my eyes and I sob.
My knees give and we both fall to the ground. My arms circle her middle and I bury my face in her chest. Her hand strokes my hair lovingly.
“It’s okay, mo stór. ” She whispers, pressing her lips to the top of my head.
“I’m so sorry, ma. I’m so so sorry.” I cry and my vision is even blurrier with the tears that fall.
“You don’t need to apologize, Emily. You needed time.”
Seeing my ma is nothing like simply hearing her voice on the phone. Instead of paralyzing fear, everything inside me needs the comfort only my mother’s love can provide. Her floral scent calms my soul and feeds the peace I’ve been searching for.
She rocks our bodies back and forth and begins to hum the lullaby that soothed me in my prison and helped lull me to sleep. I sob until my body is vacant of tears.
She pulls me away from her chest, holding me at arm’s length. Her eyes match mine, puffy and red-rimmed from crying.
“I understand if you need more time – “
“No. I don’t need time away from you, ma.” I cut her off. “I might need more time before I’m able to go back to Ireland though.”
She sniffles while nodding. “Of course, Emily. Whatever you need.”
There is a soft knock on the door before it’s pushed open. Liam steps into the room and pauses when he sees my ma and me on the ground.
He clears his throat, shutting the door with a soft click. “Everythin’ alright in here?” he asks, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels.
“Aye,” my ma answers, pulling me with her to stand.
“Good,” the corner of his mouth ticks upward. “Emily, we should probably start getting ready.” He says and my ma looks at me with a grin.
“What for?” I ask, my brows pinching.
“Declan has a surprise for Paige, and we need to get ready if we’re going to make it on time.”
“Uh, okay,” I say turning toward my ma. She pulls me in for a tight hug and then kisses my cheek.
“I’ll see you in a little while.”
She saunters toward the door and gives Liam a gentle pat on the chest before leaving the room. Liam turns to face me the moment the door clicks shut.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly.
I nod. “I think so.”
He strides toward me and cups my face. His thumbs gently stroke my raw skin from the repeated rubbing I did while crying.
His eyes are warm and full of love and pride.
“I’m glad you were able to speak with your ma, Emily.”
I press a kiss to the palm of one of his hands. “Seeing her was different than hearing her voice over the phone,” I whisper, peering up at his hazel eyes.
“Do you think it has to do with the fact that when you were taken, your last conversation with her was over the phone?”
I shrug. “I think that makes the most sense. Seeing her and having her hug me felt like a huge weight lifted and I could breathe easier.”
His face lights up with a smile and he presses a kiss to my forehead.
“That’s amazing, baby.”
“What is Declan surprising Paige with?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Well technically it’s no longer a surprise because he told her, but he is throwing an engagement party for her.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens.
“A-an engagement party?” I stutter.
Liam’s eyes fill with concern and his brows furrow. “Is everythin’ okay?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Why can’t I just enjoy a celebration without feeling nervous? What the fuck is wrong with me?
My mind races with different scenarios of what chaos will ensue.
No. It’ll be fine.
I chant that mantra until I start to believe it.
Clearing my throat, I plaster a smile on my face. “Yeah, this is okay. It’ll be wonderful.”
“Will it?” the small voice at the back of my mind asks.
Shut. UP.
“We’re going to have a great time,” Liam smiles and presses a kiss on my lips. His hand wraps around mine and he leads me toward the ensuite.
Driving toward the venue, I nervously rub my hands down the fabric of my dress. At this point, I don’t care if my sweat stains the silk. I’m a mess of unease.
My dress is emerald green and made from Mulberry Silk. It rests just above the knee. I’ve paired it with champagne-colored pumps. Liam is dressed in a white button-up with a tie that matches my dress. His black slacks mold to his thick thighs, emphasizing their muscle.
Logically, I know that the chances of having the near-exact situation happen at another engagement party are slim to none. But my emotions are uncontrollable and override the logic.
Liam’s hand reaches over, and he intertwines our fingers, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. Peering over at him, he gives me a reassuring smile.
“You okay?” he whispers.
I doubt he knows what’s bothering me, but there’s no doubt he knows something is up. He’s always been able to read me without any issues.
Not wanting to cause him any stress, I shake my head and give him a small smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
He studies my face for a moment before nodding and turning to look out of his window.
It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay.
I’m fine.