Chapter Twenty-Four
Cayden
P icking up my pace, my jog turns into a sprint through the woods on our property here. Within minutes, Bear is trucking along right next to me as we make our way farther down the trail. This is what I needed. Taking out revenge on Tank felt necessary, and doing it with my brothers made it feel not as consuming as I thought it might.
But the second we shoved that knife into his heart and took out someone who had hurt our girl, everything hit hard. I haven’t brought out that side of me in a long time, and I knew I needed to run off this pent up energy.
I want more. It’s like a craving my asshole of a father created. He made me a beast, made sure I would learn to crave it having learned how to torture people from such a young age. I’ve never really craved the torture before, and it felt easy to stop when Noah got me away from our father years ago, because I was so young I didn’t know better but there has always been that one thought in the back of my mind.
What if I did it again? Even just a tiny bit. Would I be able to stop? Or would I continue to crave it, want to be consumed by the monster inside me?
Shaking the thoughts away, I push myself to run harder, hoping I can just run this feeling off. I will not regret what we did, not at all, but the fear I could fall into a black abyss is something I don’t want to happen.
Harley
I’ve never felt something slam into me so hard mentally. It was like reality slapped me in the face, really showing me what I need.
But then reality reminds me of many, many things that make it all that much harder…
What if they aren’t okay with it? What if it ends up being the worst mistake of my life? What if it’s the best?
Running my fingers across the kitchen counter at my dad’s house, I think of all the memories this place holds…
Us having dinner together for the first time.
Cooking together.
The many, many times everyone gathered in this kitchen to talk.
Watching movies with my dad when we had the free time.
Doing all our homework at this kitchen table and my dad always popping in to make sure we were working.
Him coming in to bring me my driver’s license when I got it.
This house holds so much, and I will always love it, even if it’s not my home.
“Harley?” someone shouts as the back door is thrown open.
I spin around and spot Raven, Carly, Presley, and Jayce coming inside. “Hush, Raven! She could be sleeping.”
“She’s not sleeping.” Raven rolls her eyes at Presley when she spots me standing in the kitchen.
“What are you guys doing?” I chuckle.
“Looking for you,” Carly says as she walks over to me and wraps me up in her arms.
“We heard about Killer and Tank and wanted to check in on you,” Presley says.
“I’m good. I’m glad they are being dealt with,” I tell them.
“What's on your mind then? Something is bothering you,” Raven says, crossing her arms over her chest.
Taking a deep breath, I explain, “I just am realizing I don’t know what I want to do with my life, but I also kind of do, and I’m just not sure how everyone will feel, because–” I’m no longer able to hold back the tears, and they fall down my face slowly. Jayce’s eyes widen as he walks steadily up to me and lifts his arms up.
“He wants you to hold him,” Presley giggles when I just stare down, wide eyed.
When I bend down to pick him up, he drops his toy car and hooks his arms around my neck, whispering, “Mama says hugs make sad bedder.”
I hold onto him tightly, fairly uncomfortable holding a child but also comforted by his sweetness. He is definitely Presley’s son.
Raven clears her throat. “Anyway, continue?”
Presley nudges her with her elbow. “Give her a minute,” she mutters.
“You guys are what I imagine two sisters are like.” I chuckle through the tears.
Carly rolls her eyes. “More like two twins that are polar opposites but yet the exact same.”
Taking a deep breath, I continue as they turn their serious gazes back to me. “I don’t know what to do.” I wince, knowing I am being vague but not sure how to voice my thoughts.
“How about we raid what snacks may be in this kitchen and curl up on the couch? Jayce needs a nap anyway and we can all talk,” Presley says.
I nod, and we all move to find snacks and drinks before grabbing a bunch of blankets and curling up on the couch. Jayce refuses to leave me, so he ends up laying across my chest, his little face pressed against my neck as he runs his toy car across my other arm.
Then, I find it in me to tell them everything. All the things I have been holding in, I let them help me carry it and decide what to do with my future. For once, I want more with my life.
Grayson
After a long shower, I immediately crash on my bed, not able to keep my legs moving. Today has been surreal. I never thought I would torture someone and find joy while doing it.
It startled me in both good and bad ways. I didn’t know I could be like that, and yet knowing I can made me relax slightly. I’m well aware of the darkness within Ryker and Cayden. Harley, too. I know they can protect themselves and everyone else, but I always wondered, if it truly came down to it, if I had that in me.
So being able to get revenge on someone who hurt the woman I love was empowering in multiple ways. I definitely would prefer to keep to an office with lots of computers and doing everything behind the scenes, though.
And then, there's Ryker… My cheeks heat just thinking about him and what we did. In front of dead bodies no less. I never thought my first time with him would be so…intense. Speaking of the man of my dreams, my door slowly opens, and he walks in, wearing a pair of gym shorts riding low on his hips and no shirt.
Walking over to me, he lays down across me and props his chin up in his hands on my chest. “What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“I thought you were going to find Harley?” I mumble.
“I was, but Sugar let me know she was out at Rage’s house with the other girls, and they demanded space before they went to find Harley.” He chuckles. “Plus you said you were coming with me, and this doesn’t look like coming with.” Ry cocks a brow at me.
“My legs are broken,” I groan and cover my face with my arms.
Ryker’s deep chuckle shoots all the blood in my body to my cock, and I shove him off me, so he flops down next to me. “Be quiet.”
“How are you feeling?” he asks, turning serious.
“Pretty good. About everything. I want to check on Harley, but I’m sure she is enjoying the time with the girls. What about you?” I ask, rolling onto my side so I can look at his expressive face.
“Amazing. I didn’t fall into the darkness. I remember every moment. I felt powerful but not out of control. It felt amazing to take out everything I was feeling for that month she was gone on that bastard. It was amazing to have time with you after.” He glances over at me from where he was staring up at the ceiling. “I love you, and I love Harley, and I love my brother boyfriend. I just want us to all be happy. I want Harley to fucking destroy the Wilsons, and then we can all move on from this.”
I smile at him, scooting closer so I can toss an arm over his chest and rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m proud of the man you've become,” I tell him before adding, “And after she decides what to do with the Wilsons, there is one more thing we have to do.”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“You’ll remember soon enough,” I tease, and he flips us so he is straddling my hips while holding my hands above my head.
“You little shit. You could just tell me now. You know I hate waiting,” he playfully growls.
“Patience is a virtue,” I breathe as he nibbles at my jaw, somehow making me desperate for him again so soon.
He hums. “I’ll remember that next time you are begging to come.”
Ryker
I’ve never felt this amazing before. It feels like I am floating on cloud nine, and I never want to come down. There’s something really fucking powerful about fighting through your inner monster and taking it down like the bitch it is.
Maybe I was only able to conquer it today because I had my people with me, but that is still a win. It’s just a stark reminder they are my people and I need them in my life forever.
Harming someone and not losing total control, being able to remember every piece of it, it’s like the first time I ever came, except better. That was only two seconds of bliss; this was hours.
“We should probably go see if Cade is still running. He left the shed really fast,” Grayson says, drawing me back into the present from where we have been doing nothing except cuddling the last half hour.
“I’ll go grab a shirt and shoes. Let’s find our broody boyfriend,” I tell him, hoping out of the bed.
Grayson laughs. “At least call him brother boyfriend. I don’t think he would appreciate being referred to as your boyfriend.”
“Wanna bet?” I wiggle my brows at Gray, who laughs harder.
“Yeah, I’d take that bet. But I’m not betting against you. Go away.”
After throwing on some shoes and a hoodie, I meet Grayson in the hall and take his hand as we head downstairs at the club to search for Cade. “Have you seen Cade?” I ask Noah, who is sitting at the bar with a beer in his hand.
He shakes his head, not saying anything to us. Leaving him and his weird mood for now, we head out back, and I let out a loud whistle Cade usually uses to draw Bear home. Hopefully, it’ll draw them both.
“You really must want to be murdered, using the dog whistle on Cade,” Grayson says.
“Technically, I used it for Bear, and if Cade just happens to come back with him, that’s great.” I smirk.
A few minutes later, Bear comes bolting out of the woods at the end of the large yard, Cade not far behind him.
When Bear gets to us, I bend down and give him lots of love. “Did you really fucking whistle for me?”
I lift a brow. “It worked, didn’t it?”
“Fucker.” Cade scowls at me. “What did you want?”
“We just wanted to check in. Did your run help?” Grayson asks.
“Help what?” he grunts.
“Don’t play stupid. It’s not hard to guess that torturing someone like that for the first time in a long ass time would hit you hard. Just talk to us. We do this shit together, remember?” I scold him.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he says, “No. The run didn’t help. I feel out of control, and since Noah got me out of there, my control is the one thing I have had. My voice, my temper, everything I was in control over.”
“Don’t hide in the woods. It won’t help like you think it will. Talk to us,” I tell him.
“Maybe you should try to draw. It could help drown out the voices or help you feel in control of something again. This feeling won’t last forever, and we won’t let you spiral,” Grayson adds.
Cade grunts his acknowledgement. I’d love to push him, make him talk more about it, make him do something about it now, but I know he needs to process anytime we talk like this. He doesn’t want to just talk it all out.
I don’t get it and I hate it but if I push he will want to spar and I am not actually sure if I could beat a fully enraged and out of control Cade.
Glancing over at Rage’s house, I debate going over there, wanting to steal back my girl. They have had her long enough. “No, Ryker.” Grayson pulls on my arm. ”Give her the time she needs with them. Come back inside.”
“Fine.” I sigh.