Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I was a bundle of nerves. I shouldn’t have been. I was a grown woman. I had lived with a grown man. Dating wasn’t new. Wait, was this a date?
“Would you like to go for a drive tomorrow?”
A "drive" could be completely innocent! It didn’t mean it was a date...
God, Remi made me feel sixteen again. I was all jitters, sweat, and self-doubt.
I slipped on a blue-and-white striped dress with buttons, an oversized hat, and gold sandals, deciding I was very Grace Kelly-esque. I reached for my makeup bag and pulled out my favorite lipstick. A tinge of nostalgia came over me as I held the little eco-friendly tube filled with ethically sourced and manufactured pigment. This shade of perfect red had been my silly little dream. My mom had always sported this beautifully bright apple-red lip. But once I’d learned about the myriad of toxins in most lipsticks, I couldn’t bring myself to buy any of her go-to makeup counter favorites. So began my quest for the perfect red lipstick that was clean and good for the environment.
It was the catalyst for the whole EcoLuxe concept of Elodie’s Natural Life, actually. Growing up in Berkeley, there was no shortage of hemp bags, coconut oil shampoos, and rugs woven from wild grass. But the eco-friendly clothes and makeup looked eco-friendly. The local beauty shop carried natural mascaras that added a wisp of color and naturally tinted lipsticks that rubbed off with the first sip of wine.
My very first products had been makeup that actually looked like makeup. I smiled down at the little tube and wistfully wondered if it would be the last one I’d ever hold.
I leaned in, and for the first time since I’d been here in France, I applied a coat.
With a bundle of nerves sitting in my gut, I made my way downstairs to caffeinate and wait for Remi to arrive. It was starting out as a beautiful autumn day with white, puffy clouds splashed against a bright blue backdrop. It was sunny, but the oppressive heat of the previous week had died down, and finally, there was the slightest briskness to the autumn air. Remi arrived right on time, and my heart did a little flutter when I saw him.
He stepped from the truck, his eyes wandering over me, and a small smile hit his lips. But to his credit, he kept himself composed.
"You look lovely. Are you ready?" he said.
"Ready. Where are we going?"
"Just a beautiful spot I know of. The kind of place I go when I need to clear my head. Shake off some bad energy."
"Sounds perfect. Am I dressed okay?"
He looked me over appraisingly. "You are perfect."
We took off through the rolling hills, the scenery unfolding around us like a postcard.
He switched on some music, and a low jazzy hum filled the air.
"How are you feeling today? You know, about everything?" Remi asked.
"Better. Or calmer, I should say. I’m sorry for my little meltdown last night."
Remi shook his head. "No need to be sorry. We are humans. We feel."
"I’m happy for Régis. I guess I’m a little sad that—" I stopped myself, not wanting to voice what I’d been thinking.
Remi spared me a glance. "Sad? About?"
I sighed and stared out at the passing greenery. "I’m not sure, but I mean, there’s a chance I won’t be here anymore by the time the baby is born. So I suppose I’m sad that I’ll miss it."
Remi’s jaw tightened, and he nodded. "Ah. Right. It’s easy to forget you have a life elsewhere."
A life. Did I have a life anymore? It was hard to tell.
"I don’t want to think about leaving, though. It’s hard to even imagine it."
Remi shrugged. "Then don’t," he said nonchalantly.
I let out a clipped laugh. "Don’t?"
"Why do you have to go back?"
"Because I—because I don’t know. Because life."
"Very eloquent," he teased.
I sighed. "I haven’t thought that far ahead. I’ve been just taking each day as it comes."
"That’s a good way to do it. People get so preoccupied with the future and forget to actually live today."
"Age-old problem."
"You Americans get a bad rap for it. But we can be guilty of it, too." He leaned in. "But don’t tell anyone I said that. As far as you know, we work twenty-hour weeks and have rosé for breakfast."
"I have noticed my contractors taking a lot of coffee breaks."
"But of course," Remi said in an exaggerated cartoon French accent. "One needs un café and a cigarette every hour!"
I laughed. "Thought so."
"Speaking of—"
"Don’t tell me you smoke."
He chuckled. "Sadly, no more. I quit a few years ago. I can still taste the sweetness." He kissed his fingertips theatrically.
I made a disgusted face. "Gross."
"Clearly, you have never known the joys of post-sex cigarettes and coffee."
"You are trying to be a stereotype, aren’t you?"
"I don’t want to disappoint you."
"You could never. Speaking of?"
"Ah. Right. Speaking of café —do you need any more coffee right now?"
"I’m okay for a while, thanks."
He clicked on his signal and pulled the car off the main road to a much narrower path.
"Are we here?" I asked.
"Just about. It’s at the top of this ridge here."
The little road snaked around until it coiled up a tall hill decorated with rows of vibrant green vineyards. After a final sharp ascent, we reached an overlook dotted with ancient stone structures.
He parked the truck, and for a moment, we both stared out at the vast beauty of Provence.
"Here we are. My favorite little lookout," he said.
I stepped from the car and gasped at its majesty. "This is so much more than a little lookout."
He smiled thinly. He opened the back and pulled out a tote bag.
"What’s that?" I asked.
"A little something to eat."
"A man with a picnic? Color me impressed."
He smirked at my line and gestured for me to follow him. He led me to a flat, grassy area with a smooth-topped rock structure that served as a perfect table.
"This place is incredible. What is it exactly?" I nodded toward the ancient structures with carved white pillars and crumbling walls.
"Old Roman something or other. I think it was built sometime around the first century."
"I didn’t know the Romans occupied France."
"For a couple of centuries, oui . Built some incredible things. While you’re here, you should make it down to Arles in the south. Phenomenal ruins there."
"Who knew you were such an expert."
He laughed. "Not an expert. I just like history. I read a lot. And when you grow up here, you visit all the sites."
I took in the ancient structures, feeling a chill. It was like being in the presence of ghosts. "I’d like to see them. I’ll have to get down there soon."
Remi opened up the bag and pulled out a pile of picnic items—baguette, cheeses, grapes, sliced meat.
"OK, I am actually very impressed," I said. "And suddenly very hungry."
Then, of course, he produced a bottle of rosé.
"See? You really do drink rosé for breakfast. I knew it."
He made a show of checking an invisible watch. "Breakfast? Non . It is... brunch. It is acceptable to have wine at brunch."
"Your logic works for me, so I won’t argue."
Remi started arranging the various items on the rock table. "I’d like to take all the credit, but Vanessa, my manager, put it all together." He pressed a hand to his heart with mock humility. "It was my idea, though. Of course."
"Of course. Well, thank you, Vanessa. It’s perfect."
He pulled out some plates and utensils as well. "Dig in."
I had skipped breakfast due to nerves, and now I was starved. I tried not to play hungry hippo as I filled a plate.
"Thirsty?" he asked.
"Always."
He filled two small cups and handed me one.
"I haven’t been this relaxed in—I don’t know, maybe ever," I said.
"Bon. I have done my noble duty then."
"This really is the perfect place to unwind."
"It’s actually kind of strange to be up here with someone else," Remi said, eyes scanning the panorama.
"Is it? I figured it was your go-to date spot."
He laughed. "Non. I don’t come here with women. Until you."
"Why me then?"
He shrugged. "I felt bad for the poor little American."
I sighed. "I am rather helpless. Or at least I want you to think so right before I drink all your wine, push you off the cliff, and steal your car."
He quipped. "You’ve thought this through."
"We American women are very calculating."
"I think of anyone I’ve known in a long time, you needed this place. You’ve been through a lot. I feel for you."
"Are you showing me pity?"
He half-smiled. "A little. But it comes from a good place. I know what it’s like when your family is complicated."
"Do you get along with yours?"
He exhaled thoughtfully and sipped his wine. " Oui . Non. It’s complicated."
I laughed. "Isn’t it always?"
"I mentioned before my father is a bit—bitter."
"You did."
"He is not thrilled that I am spending so much time at your place."
I raised a brow. "Why not?"
"He and Pierre did not always see eye to eye on things. Especially when it came to the progress of the area. Pierre was a lot more keen to see tourism thrive. My papa preferred we stay a forgotten map dot. Pierre was always a man of influence. He knew the right people. Had some wealth. He could sway policy. My papa always resented people like that."
I nodded. "So he sees me as the enemy."
Remi chuckled. "Somewhat. He is also wary of outsiders. He’s afraid of what you’ll do."
"Do? What does he think I’ll do?"
"He has no idea. He doesn’t know what’s worse—if you sell it off to some corporation, open a wellness retreat for wealthy tech entrepreneurs, or just move in, and then we’ll have to contend with Pascal’s demonic American offspring."
I tapped a finger to my lips. "Such brilliant ideas, all."
He turned to me, eyes boring into me. "But I think if he knew you—he’d think differently."
"Oh?"
His voice dropped a few octaves. "I think he might just beg you to stay."
I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried not to make any unsavory noises.
"I’ll have to bake him some cookies then," I said.
"You bake?"
"Did I say me? I meant Colette. Colette will have to bake him some cookies."
Remi chuckled. "Good choice. He might assume yours were poisoned. Ah, but speaking of cookies." He reached into the bag and pulled out a small paper box with a rustic ribbon.
"Those better be cookies," I said.
"Not just cookies. Macarons. You have not been to France until you have chocolate macarons from Café du Fleur in the village."
"Then I think a great deal of people have never actually been to France."
"Including many French. Here, they are divine. No offense to Colette’s culinary skills, but these are the absolute best." He opened the lid, and a dozen round chocolate gems stared up at me.
I plucked one up, and it practically melted in my mouth.
Remi grinned. "What did I say? I do not lie."
I let out a borderline inappropriate moan. "You could use these as currency. Screw the euro. Actually, scratch that. Don’t tell anyone these exist. Save this for negotiating your way out of a hostile takeover."
Remi grinned and helped himself to one. "Who says I am not doing that now?"
I mock-glared and tossed a grape at him.
"Thank you for bringing me here," I said. "It’s perfect."
He smiled. "I am glad it helped. It always does."
"How long have you been coming up here?"
"Oh, a long time. I discovered it years ago when I was still a boy. Back then, we would come here to sneak wine and cigarettes. Kiss girls. Get away from the world. You know, what all kids do."
"Not so different from now," I teased. "I mean, minus the cigarettes."
His eyes went a shade darker. "Minus just the cigarettes?"
Heat flooded my body. He inched closer to me. "Hmm. Begs the question."
"And what question is that?"
"I have no idea," I whispered. My heart pounded as he leaned in a little closer, barely brushing his lips against mine. He pulled away with a little smirk.
"Tease," I muttered.
A little wickedness flashed in his eyes. "Tease? Me? Never."
I laughed, the tension dissipating slightly. "Right, because you're such an innocent soul."
He leaned back, stretching his arms behind him. "I am the picture of innocence, chérie . It's you Americans who are always assuming the worst."
"Assuming the worst, huh?" I raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly am I assuming?"
He shrugged, a small smile playing at his lips. "That's for me to know and you to wonder about."
I shook my head, amused despite myself. "You're impossible."
"Impossible to resist, perhaps," he quipped.
I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face. A gentle breeze rustled through the grass, carrying with it the sweet scent of wildflowers. The sun tilted toward afternoon, lighting up the entire valley.
I never wanted this moment to end. A comfortable silence fell over us and I felt a sense of peace settle over me. Whatever uncertainties lay ahead, right now, in this moment, everything felt just right.
"I enjoy spending time with you," Remi finally said.
I sighed and leaned into him. "Me too."
He turned toward me, gently running his hand under my chin. His irises flared as he leaned closer. He tilted my face up and pressed his mouth into mine, this time, not pulling away.
If only it didn’t all have to end, eventually.