Chapter 7
7
Fleur
“Are we going to talk about why you left last night?”
I shrugged. “I was bored.”
Maggie’s eyes narrowed with concern. “You’ve never been bored at Babel before.”
My lips curved. “Actually, I have been. You’re just normally too into Samir to notice.”
“Burn.”
I laughed. “You and your little American sayings.”
I shifted in bed, pulling my knees up to my chest, burrowing farther under the covers. It was early, way too early considering how late I’d gone to bed. Maggie didn’t look much better than me. When I’d gotten back from the library she’d still been at Babel. I had no clue where Mya was.
Maggie’s expression changed. “I’m worried about you.”
I groaned. “It’s too early for this.”
“You won’t talk about it.”
“Because I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You need to deal with it.”
“I am dealing with it,” I protested.
Maggie shook her head. “Then why don’t you look happy? You used to love going out, and last night you looked like you’d rather be at the dentist. You’re not yourself.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It is when you’re surrounded by people who love you and just want to see you happy.”
My eyebrow rose. “Like Samir?”
She flushed. “I didn’t tell him everything. Really, I didn’t even tell him anything. Just that I was worried about you. He is, too.”
I sighed. I knew they were, but in a way that only made things harder. It was impossible not to feel like I was letting them down.
“I love you guys, but I need a bit of space. I’m dealing with things in my own way. Costa messed me up.” I pushed out the words despite the razor scraping at my throat. “Losing the baby about killed me.” Maggie whitened. “And let’s be honest here. George was a nice guy, but deep down, I knew he wasn’t the guy for me. And I hurt him in the process because I needed something he couldn’t give me. I don’t want to do that again. Maybe I just want to be more cautious this year.” I thought of last night. “Well, more cautious than normal,” I amended.
My tone softened because, honestly, if I owed anyone an apology, it was Maggie. She was the one who’d called an ambulance the night I’d overdosed sophomore year; she’d saved my life. As overprotective as she could be, I knew it was because she loved me, even if it could be stifling sometimes. I wasn’t used to this kind of love or concern, though. I’d pretty much been on my own for as long as I could remember, so it was welcome. Just a little hard to handle at times.
“I promise I’m not going to go off the rails again. I’m not that girl anymore. I need you to trust me.”
“I do.” Maggie got out of her bed and crossed the room to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I wasn’t much of a hugger, but she’d changed that. I hadn’t been kidding when I said my friends were my family.
“This year’s going to be different. I can feel it,” Maggie said.
I couldn’t disagree with her. After last night’s kiss, everything felt different.
Whereas kissing Costa had always meant sex was soon to follow, this hadn’t been like that at all. It had been a kiss that was content just to be a kiss. As if my lips on his were more than Max had ever expected. Costa would have pushed for more, and I would have given it.
It hit me that the thread that had run through my relationship with Costa—that nervous, edgy, keep-me-on-my-toes thread—hadn’t been about love, or passion, or want. It had been fear. The fear that he’d toss me aside for another girl because he was bored or because he never cared enough to hold on to me like I mattered in the first place.
With Max I felt safe, and that was better than I ever could have imagined.
Max
I woke up starving.
I blamed my hunger on last night’s lack of sleep. After Fleur had left me in the library, after that kiss, I’d been too keyed up to go to bed. I went for a run this morning to clear my head, but that hadn’t helped much. She was still in there, impossible to ignore. And as much as it was driving me wild, part of me didn’t want to ignore her. I liked her under my skin like this, in a way that was real. I liked being able to remember the taste and feel of her.
I showered and then made my way down to the cafeteria, hoping to catch the tail end of brunch and alternating between looking for Fleur and wanting to avoid her.
Part of me needed to know if she was as confused about this as I was, if that kiss had lodged itself in her brain, too, refusing to be pushed out. And part of me was afraid that she wasn’t, and it hadn’t, and all it would take was one look to slice me in two.
Who would I get this morning—the Ice Queen or the girl who had been burning up in my arms?
And then I walked into the cafeteria and I heard the sound of her laughter, and my whole body stilled.
Fleur stood by the drink fountain with Maggie, her head thrown back, long brown hair raining down. It was a mass of tumbles and waves that made my heart clench.
Sometimes she wore her hair perfectly straight, each strand gleaming. But other times, during exams, or early mornings, or when I caught her at the gym, her hair was messy in a sexy, just-got-out-of-bed look that took hot to a whole other level.
She wasn’t wearing makeup, and she’d dressed casually in tight black workout pants that fit perfectly across her ass, and a hot-pink workout tank that showed off her tanned skin and cleavage.
Her head turned to the side, and our gazes locked across the room. This was the moment. It was a moment that felt like an eternity, and then those lips that I’d kissed curved into a smile that hit me in the gut. Her eyes sparkled with something that looked like amusement. No, better than that. Like we had a secret no one else knew about. I couldn’t keep my lips from spreading as the answering smile took over my face. Her chin jerked in acknowledgment before ducking back down.
I looked away, walking toward an empty table, my heart hammering. I didn’t know how to play this one. Part of me wanted to go over and say hi. At the same time, it would look weird considering our hate truce had only been a few days ago. And I hadn’t talked to George about any of this, and worse, I had no clue how to tell him I’d kissed his ex-girlfriend.
I ate my breakfast, focused less on the food than the girl in front of me. I wished Maggie would go away. I mean, I liked her, but I wanted a chance to say something to Fleur in private. I wanted to see where we stood after last night.
Fleur
“What do you have planned for the rest of the weekend?”
I turned my attention away from Max’s table to focus on Maggie.
I shrugged. “Studying, I guess.”
She looked at me like I had three heads. Fair enough, weekends used to be reserved for partying. But this was the new me. Sort of.
“You’re really taking this whole getting good grades thing seriously, aren’t you?”
There was surprise in her tone, and while I knew she didn’t mean to make me feel bad, it stung just the same.
“I’m worried about not graduating.” I should have worried about it all along. Unfortunately, leaving things to the last minute was also classically me.
“How are things going in your Project Finance class?” she asked. “Are you and Max getting along better?”
“You could say that.”
“Could say what?”
My head jerked up as our friend Michael slid into the seat across from me. Michael was one of the few other exceptions to my not being friends with Americans. It wasn’t that I made a point of not liking the American kids; we just typically didn’t have a lot in common. Except for Maggie. And Michael, whom I’d basically inherited from Mya. And now, apparently, Max.
I was surrounded by Americans.
Maggie answered for me. “Fleur was just telling me that she’s getting along with Max.”
Michael grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Getting along or getting along ?”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m just saying. If I weren’t in a relationship, I’d be interested. That boy is hot,” Michael teased.
Tell me about it.
Maggie burst into laughter at the exact moment that Max turned his head and looked over at our table. Our gazes collided. God, I hoped with every fiber in my being that he didn’t know we were talking about how hot he was.
I felt my cheeks burning up.
The corner of his mouth curved, transforming his whole face.
Merde.
It was one thing to kiss Max at night when I was feeling reckless, another entirely to feel this fluttering in my stomach at the sight of his smile. I’d learned the hard way that flutters spelled trouble.
“Fleur!” Maggie waved her hand in the air. “Are you okay?”
I forced myself to look away from Max. “I was just distracted. What?”
She nodded toward Michael. “We’re going to head to Chelsea to do some shopping. Do you want to come?”
I shook my head. “Go ahead without me. I think I’m going to sit here a bit longer.” I hesitated, racking my brain for a plausible excuse that would have me saying no to shopping. “Mya said she might swing by for brunch,” I lied. “We haven’t really had a chance to catch up since school started.”
I waited while they finished eating, my heart pounding. It felt like it took them a year to get up from the table, but when they finally did, I sat, trying to figure out what I was going to say to him. I sat there until I couldn’t sit anymore, until the weight of his stare was enough to have me pushing my chair away from the table and standing, my limbs full of nerves.
I didn’t do nervous, but somehow Max seemed to disprove everything I knew about myself. So apparently, I did nervous, and he brought it out in me.
I crossed the distance between us, the tables and chairs separating us nothing compared to the invisible barrier created by the International School social hierarchy. This was the second time in two days I’d sought him out. Discretion was going out the window, and I didn’t care. I felt different around him; he took the gaping hole inside me and filled it with something as simple as stomach flutters. And as much as I was a little terrified of the flutters, I recognized what they meant. I didn’t feel dead inside anymore.
I felt .
Max
Her walk was like a dance you couldn’t help but watch. When I walked, I put one foot in front of the other, not caring about anything other than getting where I needed to go. Fleur made the act of walking look like the getting there was more important than the destination.
She didn’t hesitate this time as she slid into the chair across from mine, a smile teasing her mouth.
“Hi.”
Her hi whispered its way through my body.
“Hi,” I echoed like an idiot. Again.
Her smile deepened. “I saw you sitting here by yourself and thought I’d stop by. Hate truce and all that.”
I swallowed and grinned. “Right.”
For a moment neither of us spoke, and then Fleur sighed.
“Let’s not make this awkward, okay?”
“Make what awkward?”
Her eyes narrowed, and her voice lowered as she leaned in closer to me. “The kiss.”
“ Kiss might be a tame word for it.”
“We’re both adults, and it happened.” She was quiet for a beat. “I don’t want to make it difficult for us to work together on the project.”
“Are you having a hard time concentrating?” I teased, unable to resist the urge to screw with her a bit. She looked so cute like this, trying for her usual swagger but a little off her game. I’d never seen Fleur be cute before.
She fluttered her eyelashes at me in a move that was clearly practiced. “Please. You’re the one who couldn’t keep your eyes off me all brunch. You’ve been eye-fucking me for the past twenty minutes.”
Very few women could deliver a line like that. Fleur rocked it.
“Try longer than that.” I grinned. “So you noticed me noticing you...”
Her eyes widened, and her lips curved. “You wish.” Her words might have been designed to shoot me down, but her tone was all flirt and all Fleur. She was way too good at this, and she knew it.
“Maybe I do,” I teased, struggling to keep my tone light under the truth in my words. One kiss—well, one night of kissing—and she’d already sucked me in deep.
She leaned forward another inch, and I allowed my eyes to dip, taking in her cleavage. I wanted her again. Bad. Wanted her even as I realized this had the potential to be a spectacularly disastrous idea.
When she and George had first started dating, I hadn’t really gotten it. I mean, yeah, I got why he was into her, but I couldn’t understand why he would get involved with a girl he had to have known would eventually break his heart. But now I understood...
She made the ride so good you didn’t care.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, my voice low. It took effort to ask the question like it was a casual one, even more to keep myself from caring too much about her answer.
And then she said something that somehow seemed like both a promise and a challenge.
“Want to find out?”