9. Lowen
NINE
LOWEN
“Earth to Lowen.”
I startle and turn my head in a daze to see Ridley standing next to me at the dining room table. Apparently, I drifted off into my own thoughts staring at the flowers Oakley brought.
“You okay, man?”
“Uh, yeah.” I rub my forehead, glancing at my half-full mug of cooling coffee. “I need more coffee.”
“I brought a carafe.” He tops my drink off with steaming fresh coffee. “What’s going on? You’re not normally down here this early.”
“Yeah.”
“Where did the flowers come from?” Bane asks as he enters the room carrying a plate with a bagel on it.
“Are we having a family meeting?” Jerryn asks, following closely behind Bane.
“No,” I say.
“Good, because Kit and Stewart probably wouldn’t be down for it if we were.” Ridley grins.
“Ditto Salem and Indy,” Bane adds. He sits across from me and tilts his head as he studies my face. “What’s up, diva? You look upset.”
“I’m not upset.” I blow out a breath and sit back in my chair. “I have a lot on my mind. This whole…” I wave my hand in the air, gesturing vaguely. “I’m not sure I made the right decision getting Oakley involved in this.”
“Why?” Ridley asks. “He seems up for it.”
“Therein lies the problem. He’s very up for it.”
“Is that where the flowers came from?” Jerryn touches one of the petals.
“Yes. He said he was practicing romancing me.”
“No offense, Low, but I don’t see the issue,” Bane says, biting into his bagel.
Rolling my eyes, I lift my mug and sip my coffee. The guys watch me set it down. I might as well admit my issue. If I can’t talk to these guys, who can I talk to?
“Oakley is a friend and an important professional contact. Lines are being crossed, and I don’t know how we’ll go back to what it was before this.”
Ridley wiggles his eyebrows. “And why is that, Low?”
“Yeah, what kind of lines?” Jerryn asks, far more innocently than Ridley.
“We had…” I clear my throat as my body heats. “We had sex last night.”
Ridley’s grin makes him look like the Cheshire Cat. “’Bout damn time. The sexual tension was getting pretty thick.”
“I agree,” Bane mumbles as he chews.
Jerryn gives me a sweet, sympathetic look. “Was it nice, at least?”
Memories flood my mind, cruising straight to my dick, and I have to force myself not to squirm in my chair. I showed him who I am and he ran with it, and nothing could be better than that.
“Yes.”
Bane raises an eyebrow and Ridley chuckles. Jerryn, for his part, just smiles.
“So it was really good then.” Ridley nudges me with his elbow.
I force my guard down, slumping into my chair. “It was amazing, guys. Better than…” My throat clogs with emotion that I push back. “Better than I’ve had in a long time. Maybe ever. It was also the first time since Alain.”
“Oof,” Jerryn murmurs.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so you’re worried because…?” Bane shrugs. “Still not following.”
“I get it,” Ridley says. “Your chemistry is amazing and obviously you get along. You’re worried because romance changes things. It opens the door to a lot of good shit, but that same door can lead to disaster. Am I right?”
I nod, feeling my cheeks turn pink. “My dating record is proof that this isn’t a good idea.”
“But Oakley is an adult.” Bane sets his bagel down. “He’s a good guy. I’d bet he totally understands how you feel.”
“But we had sex, Bane. I gave in. Now what?”
He shrugs. “More sex?”
“It could be like friends with benefits, yeah?” Ridley tries.
“I’m not a casual sex kind of guy. Besides, even when that’s what both people say they want, feelings always get involved. Unless you’re made of stone, which I’m not.”
“True,” Jerryn says softly. “Friends, the real ones, are much harder to find and keep than people you can fuck. It’s a lot of risk to cross the line, even if you want to.”
Bane’s attention turns to our friend, and even through my own chaos of emotions, I see his shining in his eyes. I’ve long wondered if there was more between them, and if I were going by Bane’s expression, I’d say absolutely. At least for him.
Jerryn glances at Bane, his gaze lingering for a second as he twists his fingers together. “Take your time, Low. Do what feels right.”
“I agree,” Bane says.
“I don’t,” Ridley says. “I say go all in. Too often we spend our lives afraid of getting hurt, but you miss out on experiences that way. You can get hurt by doing nothing too.”
His words sting a little. He’s probably right, but I’m not even close to ready to dig into that idea.
“I didn’t say he shouldn’t pursue Oakley,” Jerryn adds. “I just suggested he take the pressure off. If Oakley is the man we think he is, he’ll be patient if or until Lowen is ready for more.”
That statement lowers my hackles a bit, but there’s still the immediate problem. “Thanks, guys. I hear you, but I’m still worried about this week of events and how many lines are being completely obliterated.”
“Oakley knows it’s not real though,” Bane says.
But does my heart? I keep that part to myself. That’s my real fear, isn’t it? That I’ll fall for all his romantic ways. After the love desert I’ve been crawling through, his attention is a much-needed drink of water, and it’s too easy to forget this is all for show, especially when I’m on my knees with just him for an audience. Can’t exactly chalk that one up to appearances.
What I need to do is push all this drama aside and focus on the important things. I need to get through the next week, pick about six outfits to wear, and plan my commentary when the inevitable questions about my life pour in. I need to prep Oakley on handling the media, and somehow manage to stay off his dick during the process. No big deal.
Hours later, I glance at the clock on the computer, aware that it’s approaching lunchtime, which means I’ll probably see Oakley. He comes in almost every day. Usually I’m neutral about his presence unless I need work done, but I’m on pins and needles right now. How will he act after what we did last night?
I tap my fingers on the desk, trying to focus on the inventory lists Salem prepared, but I’m too distracted. Maybe this would be a good time to head into the city to my favorite boutique and see what they have for me.
I’ve long since admitted to myself that I find Oakley attractive. I mean, how could I not? He’s so sexy and competent . I love competence. But now I know what his kiss feels like, and how expertly his hands roam my body. I know the heat of his mouth on me, and fuck me, I know what his cum tastes like. How do I brush all that aside and get back to neutral?
“Ugh.” I stand and grab my phone. I need to get out of here for a bit to distract myself.
I pull my coat off the hook and open the door to find Oakley standing there with his hand raised to knock. A huge smile spreads across his handsome face.
“Hey, Low.”
“Hi. Can I help you?”
His eyebrow quirks, but he nods. “Got a second?”
“I was heading out for an errand in the city.”
“Mm-hmm.” He moves closer and I step back, my eyes following the motion as he closes the door. “I won’t be long.”
“Okay.” I fold my coat over my arm. “What’s up?”
He chuckles, continuing to close in on me. Not gonna lie, the way he’s low-key dominant right now is doing it for me.
“Got something for you, beautiful.”
Swallowing, I nod. “Oh?”
“I hope you like it. It’s in my front pocket.”
“And? Are you expecting me to retrieve it?”
Oakley backs me up until I bump into the desk. “Would you please? Left side.”
I’d like to be annoyed, but I can’t summon that particular emotion when he’s this close to me. He smells good, the cold winter air clinging to his clothes, the scent of his beard oil tickling my nose. Curiosity wins out and I reach down to dig into his pocket. My eyes widen when I find the telltale shape of a small velvet box.
“Oakley?”
“Take a look, kitten.”
The nickname spreads over me like a warm blanket. I told him not to use it during the day, but we are alone so I’ll let it slide. This time.
I retrieve the box, hoping this man didn’t spend his hard-earned money on a ruse to trick people who don’t matter because I’m too insecure to face them.
“Open it,” he says.
I set my coat on the desk then crack the lid open. My jaw drops.
“Oakley,” I whisper. “How on earth…? Where did you get this?”
“My uncle is a jeweler. I called him this morning and he had a few things in stock he could loan me. I didn’t pick the biggest one, but I chose the highest quality and the most unique, because…” He pauses as his gaze softens and his brow crinkles.
“Because?”
“That’s what I’d look for if this was real.”
Oh. Dang it. I direct my gaze to the ring again, if only to try and hide my burning cheeks. Stupid tell.
“It’s ten carats,” he says. “Cushion cut. He said the clarity was almost the best money can buy. It’s rose gold. I hope you like that. It’s unusual, he said.”
“It’s truly stunning. How much does it cost?”
“Sure you want to know?”
I nod. “In case anything happens.”
“Seven hundred and fifty.”
“Thousand?” I nod. “Of course. It’s too much.”
“It’s what they’d expect, right?”
“Yes.”
“Can I put it on you?”
My breath hitches, but I hand the box back to him with a small nod.
Oakley carefully removes the ring from the dark blue box and sets it on the desk behind me. Then he takes my left hand in his and slides the ring onto my ring finger, holding my gaze.
“How does it feel size-wise?”
“Perfect.”
“Lucky us.”
I glance at my hand then back to Oakley. “I auctioned my ring from Alain and gave the money to several women’s charities in New Onyx. It went for almost a million and it wasn’t even close to being this beautiful.”
“That was a nice thing to do.”
I shrug. “What would I do with it? I wasn’t about to give it back to him. Not after what he did.”
Oakley nods. “Fair.”
“This is stunning, Oak. Beyond.”
“So are you, kitten. It’s fitting for you.”
“You aren’t supposed to call me that,” I say, my voice soft and bordering on a whimper.
“We’re alone.” He holds my chin between his thumb and index finger. “I almost got a sapphire because it matched your eyes, but I figured we should go traditional.”
“I would’ve been okay with a sapphire.”
“Good to know.” He closes the space between us and I have to tilt my head back slightly, even though we’re almost the same height. “Did you sleep well?”
“Well enough. You?”
Oakley shakes his head, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
I rear back a bit, putting my hands on his shoulders. “Don’t.”
“Don’t? I can’t tell you the truth that you rocked my world on that couch?”
Relaxing slightly, I nod. “Sorry. Habit.”
“I know, kitten. I’m not offended. I’m not gonna smother you in feelings. For the record, I’m not expecting anything else to happen.”
I’m not sure if that’s good news or bad. “Okay.”
“Unless you want more. Then I’m down for that too.”
“Noted.”
He releases me and moves back, and the lack of proximity is annoying. I want to fall to my knees right now and beg him to choke me with that magnificent cock, but that’s only asking for even more trouble than I already have.
“Thank you for this.”
“My pleasure.”
“Do you want to keep it with you until next week?”
“Nope.”
I nod. “I’ll keep it safe.”
“I know. What’s your errand?”
“Huh?”
“You said you had an errand in the city.”
“Oh. Right. There’s a boutique I like. I want to see if they have any outfits for me.”
“Cool. Have a good afternoon, huh?”
“Thanks. Oh, did you hear back about the proposal?”
He smiles, nodding. “Yeah. I’m in. Yves talked it over with his business partners and they liked it. It’s a huge contract for me.”
“Congratulations.” I rub his arm. “They chose wisely.”
“Thanks. Maybe I can go over some of my ideas with you and get your thoughts?”
“I’d like that.”
“Guess I’ll see you later then.”
“I’ll head out with you.”
I grab my coat and walk to the front with Oakley. He pats my arm before going back to his table where some of his employees are sitting. Indy is talking to Florian, so I swing over to let him know where I’m going, then I dip before I can lure Oakley back to the office and end up on my knees.
This little game is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.