13. Lowen
THIRTEEN
LOWEN
Staring at my own reflection, tracing the numerous bruises on my neck and collarbone, it’s impossible to fight back a smile. It’s been ages since I’ve allowed it, but damn did it feel good. There’s something about Oakley that melts my defenses, at least temporarily. Maybe it’s how he talks to me, or the way his eyes heat every time he touches me. I have no idea what kind of magic he uses, but it sure the hell works.
The urge to cover the marks with concealer is there, but I fight it. When he comes in for lunch today I want him to see them. I want him to know I’m not ashamed of them or what we did. At this point I don’t think I’d mind if they were still visible next week for everyone to see that I have a man in my life who can more than manage me.
That thought makes my brain stutter. I close my eyes, gripping the edge of the vanity. Oakley isn’t my man. Not really. As fun as this is, it’s not long term. It can’t be. Oakley deserves a partner who is emotionally available, and that’s not me. Not even the months of therapy post-divorce convinced me that taking a chance at love again is an option.
I turn my head when I hear a knock on my bedroom door. Wrapping my silk robe around myself, I call out, “Come in.”
When I enter my living area, Ridley is standing there holding a garment bag. “Early delivery.”
“That’s odd. I didn’t order anything.”
I take the bag, drape it over the sofa, and unzip it, stepping back as what’s in it comes into view.
“A card fell out, Low,” Ridley says, bending to pick the envelope up off the floor.
I take it and open it, my jaw dropping as I read what’s inside.
“‘Mr. Ainsley, when I heard of your impending award, I took the liberty of designing something spectacular, hoping that our styles still align. Should you decide to honor me by wearing it, I ask for nothing in return but the joy of seeing you draped in one of my creations. If there are any changes that would make it perfect, please let me know. I’m stateside through the end of next week. Yours, Belle.’”
“Who’s Belle?” Ridley asks.
My eyes sting with emotion. “Belle is my absolute favorite couture designer. They knew me better than I knew myself and I almost always wore them to high-profile events. I can’t believe they thought of me after so many years.”
I set the card down and finish unwrapping the item tucked inside the bag. Ridley helps, and my breath catches in my throat when it’s fully revealed. He wolf whistles while I stare at it, completely stunned.
“Wow, Low.”
“Yeah.” I run my fingers carefully over the embroidered bodice. It’s strapless and corseted, in a beautiful shade of blush pink—my favorite. Belle and I agree the color gives me an ethereal glow under the right lighting. The lower half is a combination of slacks and a gown, but it’s all sheer from the waist down. Then I notice that attached to the back of it is a long gold leather rope. I have no idea where it goes, but then I remember Belle probably sketched it on the back of the card.
I grab it and flip it over, smiling when I see the sketch as expected. The gold rope is meant to wrap around my neck, across my shoulders, and down my left arm.
“Let me see.”
I hand the card to Ridley and return to gazing at this incredible creation. It’s absolutely stunning.
“You’re gonna look like a sexy angel,” Ridley says.
I laugh softly. “That’s the point, I believe.” I turn to my friend. “I was looking all over the place for something truly spectacular to wear on such short notice, but apparently Belle remembered me. I didn’t think—” My voice cracks and Ridley rubs my arm.
“What?”
“After everything blew up with Alain, it was hard for people to know which side to take. He was more established, so a lot of our so-called friends aligned with him. Others remained neutral. I dropped out of the public eye, so I didn’t know what people like Belle thought of me anymore. It’s been years, so I wouldn’t have thought they even remembered I existed.”
“Low, come on.” Ridley sits on the edge of my sofa. “You were a big deal in your own right. Indy sent us articles and shit about you all the time, and Alain wasn’t mentioned in any of it.”
“Indy did that?”
“Yeah. You know he’s a softy for his friends.” Ridley smiles, gripping my hand and squeezing it gently. “I’m not sure if you know this, but you’re pretty unforgettable. Oakley obviously knows it based on the hickies all over you.”
My cheeks burn with heat, but I make no attempt to cover up. “We had fun.”
“Getting into character for this fake engagement, huh?”
“Something like that. He went out and spent a ton of money on new clothes so he could look good next to me. He’s very thoughtful.”
“I guess that’s a word we could use.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I was a betting man, and I am, I’d venture that Oakley is into you in a very real way.”
“I know, but some of it’s for show. Obviously, we’re attracted to each other, but the romance and stuff is practice.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He knows I’m not dating material. He knows that.”
“We all do.” Ridley pats my shoulder. “Come on down when you’re dressed. Wren is coming over to talk about moving in.”
“I’ll be down.”
“Oh, and we got a call last night. These society ladies are coming in for lunch.”
I scrunch my nose. “Society ladies?”
He shifts his gaze to the ceiling for a second. “Bane said they call themselves the Smut Society. They read spicy books.”
I choke out a laugh. “That’s incredible.”
“Yeah, so we want to do it up a little for them so they’ll tell their friends we aren’t just a college bar. They said they wanted to support a queer-owned business to get the older people in town to stop being too intimidated to come in.”
“Amazing.”
“Yeah. See you downstairs.”
He leaves and I take the outfit and hang it on my armoire. I can’t wait to wear it, and even more exciting, see how Oakley reacts to it.
After dressing, I make my way downstairs to join everyone for a late breakfast. A smile fills my face when I see all my friends sitting around the massive dining room table, and for just a second, I imagine Oakley sitting among them, but I quickly push that fantasy away. He likes me right now because it’s all new and fun, but over time he’d figure out how messed up I really am inside. There’s nothing worse than witnessing the spark flicker out. I’d rather never have it than wait for it to die.
I opt for coffee while Ridley explains how our living arrangement works. We don’t have an extra suite, but we have the attic room with its own bathroom and two extra guest rooms that share a hall bath.
“What’s the rent for the guest room? I don’t need much space. I’m not taking anything with me except my own clothes.”
“What’s your budget?” I ask before Ridley can swoop in.
Wren shrugs. “I was hoping to get an apartment for, like, nine hundred dollars maybe.”
“What about four hundred and fifty then?” I ask, glancing at my friends who all nod in agreement. “You’d get the room and access to all the common spaces, of course.”
Relief spreads across his features. “That’s all? Are you sure? Most rooms for rent were going for around six or seven hundred.”
I don’t want to tell him that we all agreed we’d only accept something for rent so he didn’t feel like a charity case. “We’re sure, Wren. There’s furniture in the room but you’re welcome to change out the bedding and whatever to make it feel more like you.”
“Thanks.” His voice is soft. “This means a lot, guys. I was running out of options.”
Salem reaches over and squeezes Wren’s hand where it’s resting on the table. “The offer still stands if you want us to go over and kick his ass. We can sic Indy and Kit on him.”
Wren smiles but shakes his head. “He’s not worth it. I just want to get out of there, you know?”
“We can be there for that,” Ridley offers. “It’s dangerous. Let us back you up, man.”
Wren hesitates but then he nods. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. He’s never let me leave before.”
“When do you want to do this?” Salem asks. “It sounds like the sooner the better.”
“We can be there whenever you want,” Indy says.
“Let’s do it tonight,” Kit suggests. “We close the bar, head over there and get your stuff, and make sure he knows he better not even think about you.”
“He’s going out of town for work on Friday. I was hoping I could do it while he’s gone so there’s no confrontation, but…” He pauses, his face flickering with what looks like a mix of fear and disgust.
“We should do it before that,” Salem says, clearly understanding what Wren isn’t saying.
“Does he hurt you, Wren?” Jerryn asks softly.
“Not like you’re probably thinking. He, um…” Wren glances at Ridley then turns to Salem, who leans in and whispers something to him. Wren nods. “He’s always a real jerk the night before he goes on a work trip. He…demands things of me, whether I want it or not.”
Ridley’s normally happy-go-lucky expression morphs into something so dark and sinister that a shiver runs down my back. I’ve never seen him like that before.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen again,” Ridley says in a tone that leaves no room for argument.
“I agree,” I add. “We’ll be there to help.”
“All of you?” Wren asks. “That would be pretty intimidating.”
“All of us,” Kit says. “That fucker better stay in line.”
Stewart practically swoons as he hooks his arm around Kit’s bicep.
“You don’t have to pay for the rest of the month,” I add. “You need to get out of that situation.”
“I have the money for a few months already saved. I appreciate it though.” He rubs his forehead and his eyes turn glassy. I feel for him. “I let him talk me into opening a lot of the debt we had in my name only. That’s why I can’t afford as much as I should be able to given what you guys pay me.” He tugs on a lock of his hair. “I can’t believe it ended up like this, you know? He was a good guy but something changed. I held on, hoping the guy I fell for would come back, but I don’t think he’s going to, and even if he did, too much has happened.”
Exactly my point. Love always starts out beautiful, but the devastation when it ends is too much. I couldn’t bear to lose Oakley in that way. Much better to keep it light and fun and nothing else. I’ll figure out later how to stay out of his bed when all this is over.
“It happens to the best of us, Wren.” Everyone turns to me. “We all want to see the good in the people we love, even when they’re dead set on proving us wrong. Try not to beat yourself up for being someone who believed in love.”
Indy reaches over and rubs my back.
“Thanks, Low,” Wren says. “Thanks, all of you. The best thing for me is getting out of this situation. I appreciate the support.”
“What’s the plan?” Bane asks. “Tonight?”
Wren shakes his head. “Tomorrow. He has poker night at our place tonight. He’ll be passed out drunk by the time I get home from the bar.”
“That’s not a good time to do this?” Salem asks.
“No. He’s pretty volatile when he’s drunk, and while I know you guys would be there, I’d rather not add any fuel to the fire.”
“Tomorrow it is,” Ridley says. “Your room will be ready.”
Wren nods and smiles. I wonder if he has any clue that Ridley is into him, or if he’s been too distracted by his personal situation to notice.
After Wren leaves, we clean up after breakfast and chat about the day ahead, but I notice Ridley seems down.
“You okay?”
He nods, smiling. “Yeah. Finding out how bad his situation really is was a bummer.”
“I didn’t know either,” Salem says. “He’s been keeping most of the details to himself.”
“He needs friends and people who care,” Ridley says. “I know I’ve been pretty obvious about my attraction to him, but if you all could keep that on the downlow, I’d appreciate it. I don’t want him to think he’s moving from one predator to another. I won’t make a move.”
“We know that,” Bane says. “You’re not a trash dude.”
“I’ve never said anything,” Salem says, “and I don’t think he’s noticed. He’s pretty in his head about the restaurant.”
“Thanks, guys.” Ridley cracks his knuckles. “But if that guy touches a hair on his ginger head, I’ll pummel his face.”
“I’ll hold him for you,” Kit says.
“I’ll rip his dick off,” Indy growls.
“At least Wren has us,” Jerryn says.
“We may be a motley crew, but we’re a loyal one,” Bane adds.
“I’m sure he feels supported,” Stewart says. “And that’s all we really need in life.”
I smile, rinsing a plate.
The Smut Society is ten rowdy women in their forties and fifties, fun as hell, and they’ve kept us running our asses off with food and drink orders. Not to mention the rest of the place has been busy thanks to the sun coming out and the unusually warm temperature.
I’ve just finished closing out a ticket when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Smiling when I see Oakley’s name, I swipe the text open.
Oakley: I’ll be there in ten minutes. Be ready.
Me: For?
Oakley: To deliver on your promise.
My cock instantly swells as I read the words. What is he gonna ask of me at work? If he thinks I’m going to let him fuck me in the office during business hours à la Indy and Salem he’s… I pause. Hmm. That would be hot, but no. That’s not my style.
I try to busy myself, but every time the door opens or a chair scrapes across the floor, my breath hitches. Last night’s edging session was everything I’ve never been brave enough to ask a lover for, and somehow Oakley just knew what to do to tap into my most secret need. Now I’m jumpy and turned-on because of a simple text. Damn, this man.
When the door opens and his bulky frame momentarily blocks the light, I’m positive I’m two seconds away from coming in my pants. I blow out a slow breath and pretend to study a random piece of paper, highly aware of his approach.
“Hey, kitten.”
I glance up, adopting a practiced neutral expression. “Hi.”
He chuckles, unzipping his heavy tan work coat. “Got a minute?”
“I’m very busy.”
Tilting his head, he glances around. “I think the other guys can handle it for a few. You owe me, and I came to collect.”
“What do you want?” I hiss. “I’m not having sex at work.”
“Didn’t ask you to.” With his index finger, he lifts my chin, surveying the marks he left all over my neck. He hums happily, taking another step toward me. “I’m positive you don’t want to do this right here.”
The sliver of self-preservation and defiance in me is no match for the curiosity and heat spreading through my body. “Office.”
“Lead the way, beautiful.”
Indy grins, and as I walk past the bar, he winks at Oakley. Once inside the office, Oakley closes the door behind him.
“What can I do for you?”
Oakley stalks toward me, grinning. “You know this cold, professional thing you do drives me wild, right?”
“Is that so?”
“I love it.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I know the other side.” He shrugs his coat off, letting it fall to the floor and encasing me in a cage of his arms as he plants them on the desk on either side of me. “I know how pretty you are when you beg.”
Pressing my hand to his chest, I gently push but end up gripping his pec muscle instead. “Oakley.”
“Don’t worry, kitten. I promised I wouldn’t embarrass you and I won’t.” He lifts my left hand. “Where’s your ring?”
“Home in my safe. It’s too valuable to potentially mess up here.”
“Hmm. Fair. I like it better on you though.”
I huff. “What do you want, Oakley?”
He grins. “Two things.”
“I’m listening.”
“I want your panties.”
I blink rapidly. “What?”
“The ones you’re wearing right now. Take them off.”
I open my mouth to object, but no words come as I reach down and obediently unzip my jeans. Oakley watches me with hungry eyes as I tug the denim down, exposing the pink silk I chose for today.
He releases a low growl and then a soft moan when I turn around and bend over to peel the jeans off and step out of them.
“Fuck, you’re pretty.” He smacks my ass, leaving a slight sting, as he leans into me. “I’d rather eat your beautiful ass for lunch.”
“No sex at work.” My breathy voice betrays how much I’m enjoying this.
“I know. Turn around so I can see your pretty cock.”
Swallowing hard, I turn and stand upright. My dick is hard and dripping, pressing against the delicate material, and Oakley looks like he’s about to throw me down on this desk.
“Hand them over,” he demands as he rubs his own growing bulge.
I do as I’m told, slowly sliding them down and stepping out of them, then dangling them from my fingertip as I stand half-naked in front of him. He takes them from me, pressing them to his nose and inhaling, the action drawing a surprised whimper from me. When he lowers his hand, the look in his eyes could melt me to the floor.
“What was the second thing you wanted?”
“A kiss,” he whispers, shoving my panties into the front pocket of his jeans. “Another taste of my favorite flavor.”
I nod, leaning back against the desk. My dick juts out in front of me, and when Oakley steps forward, rubbing his stiff work denim against my sensitive skin, my knees literally shake. He hooks his hand behind my neck, drawing me closer until our mouths collide.
The kiss is all consuming, wrapping me up in his masculine scent, strong arms, and warm mouth. He tastes minty and his beard oil is quickly becoming my new favorite smell. His hands glide down my back to my ass, squeezing gently but briefly before moving up again. He rubs against me and I shamelessly grind my erection into him, but then he slows the kiss, deliciously teasing me with small pecks as he puts unwanted space between us.
He steps back, taking me in and leaving me desperate to come.
“You’re not gonna leave me like this?”
“No sex at work.” He smooths his t-shirt down. “Your rule.”
I glare at him, weighing my options but coming up empty. “You’re mean.”
“Nah, kitten. I’m doing what you want. I didn’t come to fuck you. I came to kiss you and get my hands on these panties.” He cups my chin. “But I am willing to negotiate.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, I’d happily trade the sandwich I was gonna order and eat you instead. If you want me on my knees, all you have to do is ask.”
The river of heat flooding my body right now is so strong I can almost taste it. It would be nice to ride his face to orgasm, but he knows I won’t. He knows I enjoy this torture.
“You can come over tonight if you want to.”
A smile tugs at his lips. “To do what, kitten? Tell me why you want me to come over.”
Exhaling slowly, I grip the edge of the desk, summoning the courage to tell him what I really want. “To let me fuck your mouth and come down your throat.”
His eyes widen for a second. “Mmm. That is tempting.” Oakley steps forward, reaching out and gently stroking my cock. “A late-night snack.”
“Please, Oakley? Please come over and make me come.”
“How could I say no to such a sweet request?”
“I hate you for making me feel like this.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize it. Instead of backing off though, Oakley’s expression softens and he steps forward until our chests are pressed together.
“No, you don’t. I know that isn’t true, because I know you’re strong enough to push me away if you really don’t want this.”
Searching his eyes, I offer a curt nod. “I don’t understand how you know what to say and how to say it. How did you get in my head?”
“I’ve known you damn near a year, Lowen. I’ve spent countless hours working with you, learning how your mind works, and doing my best to live up to your expectations. I’ve paid attention. That’s all.”
His reply is both soothing and unnerving at the same time, so I push it away. “I’m staying until midnight. Bane and Jerryn are closing.”
“Then I’ll see you at twelve oh five.”
I nod. “I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just come up.”
“Sure thing.” His eyes roam down my body and back up again. “I expect you to be naked and waiting for me.”
“I need to shower when I get home.”
Oakley shakes his head. “No.”
“No?” All the fight I usually have is weirdly absent right now. “Okay.”
“Good kitten.” He leans in and kisses me briefly. “Now get dressed. Or…”
“Or?”
“I could dress you.”
My stomach does a weird flip, but I’m not ready to go there.
“I’ll do it.” Bending forward, I grab my jeans and tug them up, stuffing my balls and still-hard cock inside them.
“Was this fun, kitten?”
Giving in to the experience, I nod. “Yes.”
“Good. That’s all I wanted.” He kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you out there, huh?”
I nod, watching him leave the office before slumping against the desk. How am I supposed to keep this casual when he’s so addictive? Damn, this man.