Chapter 17
17
Brian woke up to a dimly lit room, the soft warmth of a woman’s body pressed into his back. His lips lifted. Tracey’s body. His first time with Tracey had been better than he’d expected. He immediately thought of going for another round, but a tickle in his throat had woken him up. He cleared his throat and let out a soft cough. He needed some water.
He eased toward the end of the bed. Tracey’s arm was draped over his waist. He liked that she’d cuddled up to him in her sleep. A lot more that he wanted to explore. He’d find his pants, run down to grab a sip of water, and then come back up and see how she’d respond if he woke her up by kissing her body.
He felt around on the floor until he found his pants. He had one leg in when Tracey’s soft voice broke the silence.
“Sneaking out?”
Brian froze and spun around to face her. “What? Nah.”
The sheets rustled as she shifted from lying on her back to sitting up. She pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts. His frown deepened. He really liked her breasts and would love to see them again.
“It looks like you’re sneaking out. That’s cool. I get it. We didn’t sign up for cuddling and all that other stuff.”
He shook his head and then pointed toward the door. “I was going down to get a bottle of water. I’m used to keeping water by the bed so if I wake up in the middle of the night I can take a sip. Believe me, I was coming back.”
“Oh.” She glanced away and rubbed the back of her neck.
Brian sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand. He squeezed it, and she met his gaze again. “I wouldn’t run out on you like that. I know what we’re doing, but I still respect you too much to just hit and run. Understand?”
She nodded. “I do. I just don’t want to overstep any expectations to this.”
“Then, let’s add that to our rules. No one runs out while the other one is sleeping.”
“What if it’s an emergency?”
“Then we at least leave a note. That’s one of the friend parts in the friends-with-benefits relationship we got going on here.”
The corner of her lips lifted and she shrugged as if what he said was no big deal, but he’d seen the satisfaction in her eyes. “That’s cool.” She pointed to the corner of the room. “I’ve got water over there.”
Brian turned in that direction. A black minifridge stood in the corner. “You’ve got a fridge in your room?”
She nodded. “Hell yeah. If I need water or a snack at night I’d rather grab it here than go downstairs and possibly run into a guest.”
“Doesn’t that go against your hostess hospitality rule?”
“Maybe…but one night I went down for a late snack and came across a couple going at it in the kitchen.”
Brian let out a bark of laughter. “No you didn’t.”
She nodded and grinned. “Yes I did.”
“What did you do?”
“Turned around and came back upstairs. The next morning I discreetly reminded them that the common areas are not for that type of activity.”
“What did they say?”
“They weren’t embarrassed at all. In fact, they seemed excited that I caught them. That’s when I said if it happened again they’d have to leave. I think they kept it to their bedroom for the rest of the trip.”
“You would have kicked them out?”
“Sure would have. No one would want to be a part of their exhibitionist show. Plus, that was a wedding weekend and we had kids staying. I had to buy a new kitchen table.”
“Why did you replace the table?”
“You wanna eat where they were having sex?”
He frowned and then stood. “You should have charged them for the new table.”
“I should have. Bring me one, too.”
He opened the fridge. “Damn, you’ve got all kinds of snacks in here.” He pulled out two bottles of water. There was also a meat and cheese tray, fruit, and yogurt. A tray on top of the fridge held crackers, chips and a can of roasted peanuts.
“I basically live here now,” she said. “I need quick snacks for when I need a moment to recoup.”
Brian grabbed a bag of nuts and came back to the bed. He handed a bottle to Tracey. She leaned against the headboard and opened her water. He sat on the bed facing her.
“You okay staying here full-time? I thought you’d look for a new place.”
She looked around the room and shrugged. “I don’t mind staying here. It’s my dream. I fought to keep this place. Staying here feels like home.”
“Fought to keep it?” Tracey’s inn was doing well long be fore the town got a boost from being recognized as one of the best small towns in the nation.
“Bernard tried to claim a portion of it in the divorce. But that’s hard to do when you blame my working here as the reason why you cheated in the first place. Honestly, he made the entire divorce more drawn out and difficult than it needed to be. I think on some level he thought that I would stick around and forgive him.”
“Not after everything he did. Why would he think that?”
She lowered her eyes and picked at the wrapping on the water bottle. “I stayed the last time.”
Brian froze. “Hold up. This wasn’t his first time?”
She sighed then shook her head. “No. The first time was right after we got married. I found out he was sleeping with a woman at his job. I threatened to leave. He cried, said it was a mistake, that he loved me and it meant nothing. He said we belonged together and that everyone doubted we’d make it. That we couldn’t break up so easily. He knew I was insecure about us being together. So I thought about how my dad stuck it out with my mom and decided to stay. I suspected something was happening again, but I didn’t know for sure. I even suspected Monique but convinced myself that surely he wouldn’t disrespect me like that.”
She spoke quickly in an efficient tone. As if what she was saying didn’t matter or wasn’t a big deal. Brian said, “Why were you insecure about the two of you?”
She gave him an Are you kidding me look. “Because we were just…different. Bernard was the golden kid in high school. He went to college and came back to town to make Peachtree Cove better. I was the girl with the mom who slept around and the alcoholic father. I didn’t go to a big college, I just got a degree from the local technical school. There were literally people who came up to Bernard when he proposed to me and said he could do better.”
Brian’s hand balled into a fist. “That’s some bullshit.”
“Well, back then I kind of believed all of that. That I was lucky to have landed such a perfect guy. That if he messed up one time that didn’t mean I shouldn’t forgive him. Where was I going to get someone better?”
“Tracey, I wish you knew how many guys were into you. You could have done better than Bernard.”
She raised a brow. “Into me, or wanted to sleep with me? I know I’m desirable. I spent half of high school having guys try to get in my panties. It didn’t stop later. He was the first person who acted like he was into me and not just getting between my legs. I fell hard and was stupid.”
He scooted forward and met her eyes. “You weren’t stupid. You fell in love, and he hurt you.”
“I should have known better.”
“I said the same thing when my ex-wife cheated on me.”
Her head snapped back. “Why would she cheat on you?”
“I appreciate that you say it like someone cheating on me is unheard of, but she did. She cheated for the classic reason. He had more money and clout than I did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I am, too.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
“You kind of already did,” he teased.
She rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder. “Well, you’re always minding my business. I might as well mind yours.”
He hadn’t talked about what happened with him and Renee in a long time. Once his friends found out she’d cheated they’d just told him to forget her ass and move on. So he had. He’d slept with other women, moved back home, slept with more women and never talked about what it felt like to have the person he loved betray him like that.
“She said I wasn’t fun anymore.”
“What does that even mean? Bernard said the same thing about me.”
Brian shook his head. “The hell if I know what it means. When we first met we were always fighting and making up. We’d argue about the silliest things, but we couldn’t get enough of each other. We were both doing some modeling and stuff then decided to move to LA and try to be famous. It didn’t get better out there. We snuck or hustled our way into parties. We became part of the entourage of some reality stars. Then I came home to see my dad when he got sick. He died a little after that, and I realized I was tired of chasing a dream in LA that wasn’t really my dream. A friend had given us a plant, I don’t even remember why, but I wanted to make it stay alive. I think I’d been smoking something and swore the plant spoke to me.”
Tracey laughed. “Hold up, you must have been really high to think a plant was talking to you.”
He nodded and joined in. “I kept it alive, then I started taking care of other plants. Then I started trying to make the yard of the place we rented together nice. I thought about doing yard work with my dad and how he said that always helped him clear his mind. It worked. My head cleared up. I didn’t feel like arguing with her just to get aroused to have sex. She said I was boring. Honestly, a part of me knew she was cheating. When she told me she’d found someone with more money and connections, she admitted it started when I went home to visit my dad. I filed for divorce.”
“And that was it?”
He shook his head. “I wish. I went back a few times.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, so I get it. You love someone. You can’t imagine yourself without that person. So you forgive them and think they’ll change.”
“But do they?”
He sighed. “Sometimes they do, but if they don’t, if they show you who they are and stay true to that, then you’ve got to move on.”
“Do you miss her?”
He thought about it and the last time they were together only to realize she’d lied to him again. The phone calls saying that her husband thought she was pregnant with his kid. He shook his head. “Not anymore.”
“Sometimes I miss being married.”
“You miss Bernard?”
“No!” she said quickly and scowled. “Leaving him was the best thing I could do. He knew that I’d been insecure, and he played that up in our marriage. He made me feel like I needed him.”
“Then, what do you miss?”
“Having someone hold me at night. In the beginning, he would sit up and talk with me. It wasn’t all bad. I miss the companionship.” She sighed then shook her head. “But I can’t imagine getting married again. I don’t want to be hurt like that again.”
“I understand that.” He felt the same. Hadn’t he declared he would never get married again?
“Which is why this is good. What we’re doing. Friends with benefits. And if feelings get entangled, then we’ll break it off so no one gets hurt.”
He couldn’t imagine having a desire to break things off anytime soon. The sex with Tracey had been amazing, but not only that—he liked her. Had liked her for a long time. As long as she was cool with this, he’d be cool to keep it going, too. But if one day she realized being with him was going to hurt her, he’d step away. He liked her too much to ever break her heart.
“No one gets hurt,” he said, before nodding and sipping his water.