Chapter 25
25
Brian wanted to call Tracey after he got off work the next day but decided instead to give her some space. She hadn’t called or texted him since he’d spilled his guts like a male lead in a romantic dramedy. He still couldn’t believe he’d said all that to her. What had he been thinking?
That was the thing: he hadn’t been thinking. He’d only been feeling . Hadn’t he sworn to give up just going by his feelings? He had stopped not thinking things through and letting emotions lead him astray. Feelings were what had him stick to Renee for longer than he should. They clouded judgment and led to impulsive, regrettable decisions.
Except he didn’t regret saying what he did. In fact, he was pretty sure that if he could go back in time he’d say the same thing. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but he wanted to be the person Tracey could depend on. When he’d heard her dad say that Brian would just use her and that she needed to go back to someone like Bernard, something in him had snapped. A need to prove not just to Tracey but to everyone in her life that he was the best person to care for and support her. He wanted her to believe that he wouldn’t embarrass or hurt her. He wanted to be the man in her life.
He ran his hands over his face and sighed. Damn! He’d never thought he would be in this situation again. He’d thought the terrible ending of his marriage had jaded him from ever wanting to be in another committed relationship. He’d thought that was why he could date casually without any connections or regrets. He should have known Tracey would be different. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, she had always had a hook in him. Ever since they were young he’d had a crush on her. Common sense would have told him that given the chance to be with her he’d be lost forever.
He left work and headed to his mom’s house. If he wasn’t going to call Tracey, then he needed a distraction. He hoped spending time with his mom and whatever news she had from the church’s usher board would keep him from endlessly thinking about Tracey and what she was thinking—whether she was done with him or would be down with what he’d offered.
When he got to his mom’s house, he expected her eyes to widen with excitement and for her to quickly usher him in. His mom loved it when he dropped by to check on her. That’s why he would pop in. This time his mom came to the door, and her eyes widened but not with excitement. Instead, she seemed shocked and not in a good way. As if he were a guest she hadn’t expected and didn’t want to see.
“Brian? What are you doing here?” she asked standing in the door. She was dressed as if she were going out. She wore the blue suit dress she often wore to church.
“I came to see you.” He pointed to her clothes. “Did you just get home?”
She ran a hand over her shirt and shook her head. “No, I’ve been here.”
“Well, are you going to let me in?” he asked when she continued to stand in the doorway. She should already have invited him in by now.
She immediately looked contrite. “I’m sorry. You just surprised me, that’s all.” She took his hand and pulled him in.
He followed her inside the house. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Her pitch rose, and she waved a hand.
Brian didn’t believe her at all. “Mom, what’s up? You’re still dressed like you’re going to church. Did the pastor ask you to check in on someone today?”
“I’m good… It’s just…” She trailed off as she went into the kitchen.
Brian followed her where the smell of his favorite pot roast filled the air. He inhaled a deep breath and rubbed his stomach. “You made pot roast? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh, I didn’t think you’d want any.”
“Ma, you know I always want your pot roast.”
“You’ve been busy lately. With Tracey and whatnot.”
He stopped halfway to the stove to check out the roast cooling on the stovetop. “I’m not too busy to check in on you.”
“I know. I just…”
“What is it, Mom?” He leaned against the counter and focused on her.
“Are you and Tracey getting serious? Or it is just…” she waved a hand “…fun?” She whispered the last word.
Brian would have chuckled at the way she said it if he weren’t slightly insulted. They hadn’t talked about his situation with Tracey, but his mom was aware that she was the person he was seeing. His mom had asked him to leave Tracey alone. He knew she didn’t think he was a bad person, but after hearing Tracey’s dad say she needed to stay away from him, it hurt to remember his mom had also thought he wasn’t the best person for her.
“She’s the only person I’m seeing. As for how serious we get, we’ll see how things go.”
Her brows drew together. “Oh.”
“Oh, what?”
She shrugged then sighed. “Well, you know, Renee called me.”
Brian’s spine stiffened, and he shook his head. “Why is she calling you? Mom, we’re divorced. You don’t owe her anything.” Renee hadn’t bothered him in weeks, and he’d hoped she’d moved on. He should have known she would go another route. Hadn’t he just told Tracey that manipulative people found a way to get what they wanted?
Her eyes narrowed on him, and she nailed him with the look she used to give him when she suspected him of getting into trouble as a kid. “Are you sure her baby isn’t yours?”
Brian sputtered. He couldn’t believe she would ask him that. “Yes, I’m sure. Renee and I are done.”
“Divorced, but I know how you would sometimes still see her. And, well, she sent me a picture, and that baby looks a lot like you.”
Brian felt light-headed. He pressed a hand to his temple and let out an incredulous laugh. “What?”
“She sent me a picture, and he looks like you. Brian, I need to know if that’s my grandchild or not. Is that your baby?”
Brian placed a hand over his heart. “I swear to you her kid isn’t mine.”
“It’s okay if it is. I know how you felt about her. You two don’t have to be together to raise the kid.”
“I know all that, but I’m telling you the truth. The kid isn’t mine.” He’d done the math several times since finding out Renee had a kid. The timing didn’t add up. She’d gotten married the day after they’d slept together, but she’d delivered twelve months after their night together. Was the timing close? Yes, but not enough for the baby to be his.
“Brian—” The doorbell rang. His mom jumped and pressed a hand to her heart.
Brian frowned. “You expecting someone?”
“I…”
A sinking feeling came to his stomach. His mom’s anxiousness, the questions about Renee’s kid, and Renee calling her instead of him. Brian hurried out of the kitchen and to the front door. He prayed with each step that the fear in his heart was wrong. He opened the door, and his entire world collapsed.
Renee stood on the other end. She looked the same. Tall and curvy, golden-brown skin, huge brown eyes. She usually dressed to show off her figure, and the pink jumpsuit she wore had a low-cut V-neck and the pants stretched across her baby bump. She held a young kid on her hip. A young boy with dark brown skin and big brown eyes. He looked from the kid to her.
She tried to give him a smile, but he could see from the wariness in her eyes that she hadn’t expected him to open the door. “Brian, hey!”
“What are you doing here, Renee?” He couldn’t pretend to be courteous. Not when she was on his mom’s doorstep, pregnant and holding a kid her husband thought was his. He looked back at the baby, blinked, then back at her.
“He kicked me out. He knows that this isn’t his son.”
“Whose son is it?”
“Brian…”
“Whose. Son. Is. It?” He bit out the words.
A tear ran down Renee’s face before she answered. “I don’t know.”