Chapter Forty-Five
forty-five
Ridley
“You said—” Bea’s whole body shook with tears that made Ridley feel like his heart was being torn out of his chest. “You said she was just your friend. You lied!”
Yes , he agreed inwardly. But it had been more a lie of omission, a lie he had been telling himself, as well as Bea, was true.
“Nothing had happened then.”
“But you wanted it to, right?” Bea’s face was red with anger, reminding him of when she would throw tantrums as a toddler that resulted in her getting physically sick.
“Bean, calm down.”
“You were planning to get together with her, right?”
“Who I decide to date isn’t your business.”
Ridley stood between her and the living room so she paced the kitchen back and forth like a caged panther until Ridley had a mind to put her in a seat. He’d gleaned that Bea was not ready to see him dating again, but it frightened him how upset she was now.
“Bean, honey.” He sighed. “Sit down.”
“Do you not want me anymore?” Her voice, hoarse with tears, cracked completely.
“What?”
“Are you planning to move back to America?”
“Of course not, why would you even think that?”
“Melanie lives in New York. And you’re always in New York now!”
“For work, you know this. I’m not moving to the United States.”
“Then why are you always spending time with her? She doesn’t live here.”
Ridley’s heart skipped at Bea’s speaking aloud a worry that had recently begun taking up space in his head.
“Because I enjoy her company. You said so yourself, honey. You said you liked her. You thought she was cool.”
“As a friend! You’re not friends. She’s your girlfriend!”
He paused. They’d never stated that explicitly. Ridley felt decidedly too old to be someone’s “boyfriend” but he supposed he was Lanie’s. Especially after last night.
“So, she is?” Bea filled in the blank when he didn’t say. “Are you guys together now?”
He nodded. “We are.”
Bea’s eyes welled with fresh outraged tears. “Why? Why do you need to be with her?”
“Because I love her! I love her and I don’t know how that’s gonna work exactly but I’m not prepared to lose her because of the distance!”
Bea cringed. Ridley felt ill. He should not have raised his voice.
“You love her more than Mum?”
He sighed, shaking his head. “I love her differently than your mom.”
“What does that even mean?” She was nearly hysterical now. “You’re lying! You’re giving up. That’s why you sent me to stay with Gavin for Christmas. So you could go be with her!”
“Bea, what are you talking about? I came to Colorado. I came specifically to be with you.”
“But you were with her on Christmas? In New York, before you saw me. Right?”
Ridley knew the truth of that whole debacle was more complicated than that, but there was no making Beatrix see the truth through her frustration. Not now. And he would not lie. “Yes.” All the air left him as he collapsed into a nearby chair. “Because we got laid over. I told you this.”
“You are a liar.”
“Beatrix! You do not speak to me—”
Before he could finish his reproach, she’d already flown past him. He deflated as the sound of Bea racing up to her room echoed through the house.
“Beatrix Olive!” He tried his stern tone, putting the feared bass in his voice.
That had worked when she was small. Unfortunately, since Thyra had been the primary disciplinarian between them and he was the “fun dad,” it had about the effect he expected. As he heard her door slam, he slumped in his seat, defeated. Minutes later, however, there were footsteps on the stairs again and rustling in the entryway.
Ridley realized all at once—but too late—what was happening.
“Beatrix! Do not leave this house!” He rushed out of the kitchen. “Bean!”
Ridley came through the living room in time to catch a glimpse of Bea’s teal anorak and slate gray backpack disappearing out the front door. Shirtless, shoeless and clueless, he was in no position to follow.
“Fuck!” he growled to an empty house.
The second woman to run out of this house in tears in under an hour. Great.