Chapter 31
thirty-one
PRESENT DAY
brANDON
Ipush through the screen door on Mom’s one-story rambler holding two six-packs of soda.
I toe off my leather boots, happy it’s Friday.
Working beside Kate today after the parade last night was awkward, to say the least. Even though I’d give anything to show up for Kate, something inside of me is stonewalling me from saying yes.
And if I’m reading her right, she regrets all of it.
Did she realize it’s a bad idea and would rather go alone?
Or is it because she still doesn’t want me?
I take a deep breath. The scent of oregano and pizza dough fills the entire home. I like this house. It’s a bit bigger than the townhome I grew up in, but it’s still in the same neighborhood. As if Mom could ever move too far away from the Sandersons. And Julia’s parents live nearby too.
“Mom?” I call.
“We’re in here, hon.” Mom’s voice floats down the narrow hallway from the kitchen.
I turn the corner and find Julia perched on the countertop, flinging pepperoni at Tuck’s open mouth. He dives for a particularly left-field toss, catching it and throwing his arms up.
Mom’s petite frame leans against the counter beside Julia and two uncooked pizzas full of pepperoni.
She straightens, green eyes shining as they land on me.
Mom’s wearing a baggy mauve hoodie with her realty logo stamped across it, and her wavy black hair is pulled back into a ponytail.
If it weren’t for her deeply-creased laugh lines and scattered gray hairs, she could easily pass as someone our age.
“Honey! Glad you made it.” She throws her arms around my waist, and I sag with relief. Doesn’t matter how old I get, Mom’s hugs are better than medicine.
“Me too,” I say, pulling back with a smile. My eyes catch on a new Alcoholics Anonymous medallion hanging like a pendant around her neck. “You earned a new coin?”
Her green eyes sparkle. “I did.”
“Mom!” I pull her into another tight hug as Julia and Tuck pause their game long enough to congratulate her. “I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks, Son. I’m proud of myself, too,” she says, eyes a little teary.
Julia resumes throwing pepperoni at Tuck’s face. “I’m so happy all our schedules finally coincided! I’ve missed these Friday nights.” Julia speeds her timing, forcing Tuck to swerve and dart to catch them.
“Julesh!” Tuck pants, mouth full. “Shlow-dowhn.”
We burst out laughing, and Mom pulls my best friends into a hug.
“See?” Mom says. “What would pizza night be without you guys? Just like old times.” She turns to Tuck. “Does Heidi still want us to come over tomorrow for that barbecue?”
His light brown hair flops as he nods. “Last I checked.”
“Hon, are you gonna be able to make it to the Sandersons’ tomorrow?” Mom asks.
A grin pulls the corners of my mouth. “Wouldn’t miss it. Now should we cook these pizzas, or what?” I stroll over to the oven, making a show as I thoroughly check inside it before setting it to preheat. “Let’s give the fire marshal the night off, shall we?”
Mom swats me with a dishtowel. “You are such a butt.”
I laugh, drinking her in. I like to see her like this. Face animated and flushed with a healthy glow, acting all silly and sassy.
Taking a soda from the six pack, I pass one to Mom before tossing cans to Jules and Tuck, then I hoist myself onto the countertop.
“Hey Tuck, how’s that work project going? The manifold stuff?” Julia asks.
I pop the top of my can. “Yeah, how is that going?”
Tuck grins. “You guys just had to go and ruin it, didn’t you?”
“Huh?” I say.
“I was gonna tell you guys later tonight, but my latest prototype didn’t show any of the old defects. I think the technology is sound enough now that I can reach out to EcoSphere and see if they still want to buy it.”
We all congratulate him as Julia claps, sliding off the counter to give him a hug.
“I knew you could do it!” she says.
Tuck draws a breath as he rests his chin against her shoulder.
“Thanks, Jules, but the game isn’t over yet. Their team’s gonna continue testing the prototype until it fits their criteria, so it still could fail. But now it’s just a waiting game.”
“If anyone can do this, it’s you,” she says.
I catch Mom out of the corner of my eye, typing on her phone with a sullen expression.
“Is that Chaz? Where is he, anyway?” I ask.
She plops the phone onto the counter. “He’s working late at the auto body shop.” Her mouth tightens the tiniest bit, but enough that I notice. “He’ll probably be home later.”
Unease curls in my gut, but I swallow my soda. This precious moment suddenly feels like a house of cards, one gust from toppling over.
One look at that bronze coin around her neck reminds me that she is the house of cards and Chaz the burly breeze. My fist tightens, and the aluminum can crackles a bit.
I hate that I can’t fully enjoy the good things in life.
How could I have learned, though, when they always seemed to disappear into the amber-colored bottles in the back of Mom’s closet?
A hand comes to rest on my knee, and I look up.
Mom’s expression is wary but full of compassion. “Let’s go chat, hon.”
I slide off the countertop and wipe the condensation from my hand across my gray t-shirt. We head toward our favorite sofa down the hall, but she stalls halfway to holler.
“Tuck! Throw those pizzas in for twenty minutes. Julia, don’t let him burn them!”
“Okay, Mrs. Roberts,” they chime.
I sink into the cushions. Mom sits sideways on the couch, crossing her legs beneath her. She rubs my forearm.
“What’s goin’ on, hon?”
I scrub a hand down my face. The scruff I find there grazes my palms, but I didn’t care to shave it. Talking to my mom about Kate seems futile, but I’m going crazy.
“Do you remember me ever talking about Kate Chen?”
Mom’s face scrunches up, but then she nods. “A long time ago, yeah. Wasn’t she the one you were supposed to meet that…” She swallows. “That night?”
A lump builds in my throat, making it impossible to speak.
We don’t talk about that night very often, if ever.
“Yeah. Well, about six months ago, I got hired to work at the same museum as her. We’ve kinda started talking again, but I don’t know how to feel about it. The way things ended was…messy. I don’t think I’m over it.” I tip my neck across the backrest of the couch. “Or her.”
Mom’s quiet for a long bit. When I swivel my head, she’s smiling.
“What?” I say.
“Brandon, do you remember that baby bird you helped that one summer? I think you may have been seven. It fell out of its nest, and you came and got me and we put it back. But its parents never came back for it.” Her smile turns sad.
“You’d dig in the garden till you found worms to feed it.
The bird survived and it finally flew away, but you were heartbroken. ”
I must have had my confusion written across my face, because she takes my hand and squeezes.
“You really don’t remember any of this? Okay, well, long story short, you made a nest for that bird every year until you were nine.
You were convinced it would come back to you.
And when it didn’t…” Her eyes drop to the hands in her lap.
“You asked if the daddy bird flew away in the first place because the baby bird was bad. You asked if you made a bigger nest, would the dad come home again?”
My eyes widen, but her weary smile returns.
“Brandon, this is who you are. You don’t give up on people.
You’ll keep making nests for them, even if they don’t always deserve it.
” A sheen glistens in her eyes. “Persevering for the people you love is an admirable quality. But waiting for people to come back only works when they are willing to. Trust me on that. Guard your heart. Don’t tire yourself of making too many nests.
Especially if they aren’t willing to match your effort. ”
I hunch forward, cracking my knuckles. Stress always seems to condense in my hands. I may have to put in some late hours at the boxing gym tonight.
Tuck and Julia stride into the room.
“We were thinking—” Tuck pulls up short. “What happened here?”
Julia smacks his arm. “Don’t pry, Tuck.”
Tuck folds his arms across his navy sweatshirt and turns to Julia. “You know he’s gonna tell me, then you, and Mrs. Roberts already knows, so let’s just speed this process up, shall we?”
Julia scrutinizes him for a sec before she nods. “Sound reasoning. What’s up, Brandon?”
“Kate,” I sigh. “She wants me to be her fake boyfriend for her family vacation.”
Mom’s eyes widen as she cuffs me on the arm. “You didn’t tell me that! Lead with that next time!”
Tuck sucks a breath through gritted teeth. “Bad idea, bro.”
Julia crosses her lanky legs on the floor in front of us. “Why is it a bad idea? Kate’s great!”
“Yeah, great at messing with Brandon’s feelings.” Tuck heaves himself onto the floor beside her.
“She was,” I admit. “But…I don’t know. Things have been… changing? Kate’s been going through a rough time, and I just wanna be there for her.”
The oven chimes from down the hall.
Mom pats my shoulder, then stands with a small smile. “Admirable quality, hon. Just don’t make too many nests.” She leaves the room.
Tuck’s head flops to the side. “Nests? Kate’s a bird now?”
A tired laugh puffs out of me, but Jules looks equally confused. Suddenly, I long for the optimism and simplicity of my seven-year-old self. Before I understood the gravity of what it meant to be abandoned.
Or to abandon.
The thought jolts a shiver through me.
If I give up on Kate, am I no better than him?