Chapter 28 Sud
Chapter Twenty-eight: Sud
My father’s shout, full of urgency and fear, snaps me out of a dream about swimming under a waterfall. Alarmed, a spring from my bed and grab a pair of shorts, hopping toward the door of my room while pulling them on. Only then do I remember that Noi spent the night in my bed and look back for him.
The bed is empty.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I ask as I barrel down the stairs.
Pah is nowhere to be seen, but Ten stands in the middle of the room, shaking and crying.
The sight scares me so much I stop dead on the stairs.
Mae rushes out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, looking as freaked out as I feel.
“Ten! What is it?” she says, grabbing him by the shoulders as I barrel the rest of the way down the stairs.
“P’Mee Noi…in the woods…a snake!”
My blood runs cold. “A snake bit him? What kind of snake?” I go for my shoes by the door. “Did Pah take his gun?” If the snake is still in the vicinity and is aggressive, Pah might have to shoot it.
“Ten, what kind of snake?” Mae repeats when he doesn’t answer.
“A m-monocled cobra.”
Mae and I share terrified glances, and I take off, leaping over the stairs leading down from the porch and running as fast as I can toward the woods.
I’ve just turned the first corner of the path when I hear a shot.
Speeding up, I turn the next corner and skid to a stop.
Pah is kneeling on the trail beside Noi. The snake lies dead a few yards away.
Frozen in place, I say, “Pah?”
Pah looks over his shoulder at me. “It didn’t bite him,” he says, relief in his voice.
Shoulders sagging, I take a couple of breaths before approaching where Pah is helping Noi to his feet. He’s paler than usual and visibly shaking. Silently, I put my arms around him, holding him tightly as he bursts into tears.
“It’s okay,” I murmur into his hair.
“I-I saw it on the path,” Noi says through his tears. “It reared up and hissed. I grabbed Nong and started slowly moving backward.” He peers at Pah over my arm. “Like you always tell us to do, Pah.”
“You did well, Son.” Pah pats Noi on the back, but his eyes are on me. I don’t care. I won’t let go of Noi, and I won’t hide my feelings. I can’t. My eyes go to the snake, which is indeed a monocled cobra. If it had bitten Noi…I can’t bear to think about it.
“I thought we might get away, but the s-snake lunged, and I stumbled. I told Ten to run.” Noi buries his face in my neck. “I was so scared!”
“You did everything right. Ten came and got us,” Pah says, hand moving to stroke Noi’s hair. I notice his hand trembling. “You mom and Ten must be frantic. I’ll start back.”
Nodding, I watch him walk away before turning back to Noi and kissing him hard, all my fear and relief pouring out of me.
He melts in my arms, and we cling to each other for a moment.
His lips taste of his tears, and I devour them, licking and sucking the salt away.
When we part, I plant two more kisses under each of his eyes and then one on his forehead for good measure.
“We’d better go.”
Noi nods and we turn to walk toward the house.
Up ahead, my gaze lands on Pah standing in the curve in the trail, staring at us with a look of shock on his face.
I falter slightly, but don’t say anything as Pah turns and walks away.
His eyes lowered to the path, Noi didn’t see him.
When we reach the porch, Mae rushes down and grabs Noi up in a tight hug, her face wet with tears.
“Phra Phuttha Chao,” she whispers softly in thanks.
“I’m okay, Mae. It just scared me,” Noi says.
Inside, Pah is at the table with Ten. I sit next to him and uncover my dish.
“I’ll bet that was scary, Nong,” I say to my little brother. “Are you okay?”
He nods. “I don’t want to go to the woods anymore.”
“Oat will be disappointed,” Pah says. “You don’t have to be scared, Son, just wary.”
“It was my fault,” Noi says, coming up the porch steps with Mae and slipping off his shoes before approaching the table and sitting down next to Ten.
Ten grabs him in a hug, and Noi hugs him back.
“Ten did everything I told him to do. He covered his eyes with his shirt, he stayed very still, and then he ran when I said run. But I should have seen that snake before I did. I was too busy watching where I was stepping, and I’m sure that’s what Nong was doing, too. ”
“No, I should have been paying better attention,” Ten says into Sud’s shirt.
“Sud and I will clear the path before we leave,” Noi says, and I nod agreement.
“I’ll hire someone to do it,” Pah says. “I should have had it done months ago. Too many places for vipers to hide.”
Mae changes the subject, and when we’re finished eating, she tells Noi to go upstairs and lie down for a while. I follow him.
“Pah saw us,” I tell him when we’re alone.
“What?”
“He saw us kissing on the trail.”
“Did he tell you that?” Noi asks.
I shake my head. “No, but I saw him as we were leaving. He must have turned back to tell us something.”
Noi looks upset, but I take his hand and smile. “Don’t worry. Maybe it’s better to get it out in the open. Anyway, he’ll probably be angrier at me than at you.”
“It’s no more your fault than mine.”
We stretch out on the bed. Having just woken up, I’m not tired, but the scare must have exhausted Noi because he’s yawning.
“Hey, is that the shirt you were saying you couldn’t find about a month ago?” he asks sleepily pointing toward the chair where a wad of my clothes have been lying for ages. Getting up, I pull the tie-dyed T-shirt from the mess and shake it out.
I put it with my travel things. “Cool. I wondered what happened to it.”
Noi’s eyes are closed, but he says, “If you’d hang up your clothes, you’d be able to find stuff.”
“Still able to nag me even when you’re half asleep,” I say fondly as I lie down again next to him. I stay until he falls asleep.
Music is coming from Ten’s closed door when I slip out of my room. I consider going in to talk to him, but I have a feeling my parents are downstairs waiting for me.
I’m right. Mae and Pah are in the living area talking seriously with one another. The way Mae looks at me when I walk in, I know Pah’s told her what he saw.
“Noi would want to be here with me to talk to you, but he fell asleep. It would upset him to see you angry with me, anyway,” I say, sitting down on the couch.
“Is this true?” Mae asks me. “You and Mee Noi are…” she leaves off, looking unsure what to call it.
“We’re in love,” I say, the words sounding both crazy and earth-shakingly true to my ears. I’m scared, but an hour ago I thought I might lose Noi forever, and I knew in that moment that nothing would ever be harder to face in life than losing him.
“Sud.” Pah’s voice is low but has a sharp edge. “I warned you about this.”
“I know you did, Pah, and at that point I thought the idea was ridiculous. I wasn’t lying to you.”
Pah shakes his head. “You were already close, and acting in love scenes together has confused you, just as your mother and I were afraid of.”
“I don’t feel confused, and neither does Noi—not anymore. We’ve been working through this and we know how we feel.”
“When were you going to tell us about it?” Mae asks, looking hurt.
“Soon. We’ve been so busy, we’ve barely had time to discuss it.”
Pah sighs. “I walked into your room this morning and saw you two wrapped around each other in bed. I wondered then, but I told myself I was wrong. Although he didn’t say it outright, Mee Noi allowed me to believe he had another nightmare and that was the reason he slept with you.”
I didn’t mean for Noi to stay with me all night. We should have been more careful, but at the moment, I can’t find it in me to care that Mae and Pah now know about us.
“Sud,” Mae says softly, “I didn’t even know you were attracted to men,” Mae says.
“Neither did I. I still don’t. I just know that I’m attracted to Noi. That’s all that matters.”
Mae presses her lips together. I don’t think she knows how to feel about it.
I look at my father. “Please don’t be mad, Pah. It will destroy Noi if you are. I know he’s worried about losing you guys.”
Mae makes a distressed noise. “When will that boy understand he will never lose us? But…what about Ten? He’s not going to understand. Maybe you shouldn’t tell him yet.”
“He’s twelve-years-old, Mae. He’s not a baby. If we don’t tell him, he’ll be hurt when he finds out that we all kept it from him.”
“Kept what from me?” Ten’s voice comes from the doorway.
I guess that makes the decision for us.
“Nong, come sit with me.” I pat the cushion beside me.
Ten looks wary but crosses the room and sits down on the couch next to me.
“Are you mad at me for getting P’Mee Noi to go out to the treehouse where we came across that snake?” he asks, looking stricken. “He saved me from getting bitten by yanking me back.”
“Of course we aren’t. And P’Mee Noi didn’t want you hurt. He loves you, Ten,” Mae says softly.
“I know that. I was scared. He told me to run. I thought…I thought the snake bit him.” A tear rolls down Ten’s cheek and drips off his chin.
I hug my brother. “Noi’s fine, Nong. The snake didn’t bite him. Everything’s okay.”
“Then why do you all look so serious?” Ten asks, wiping his face with his sleeve.
I take a deep breath. “Noi’s and my relationship has changed recently.”
Ten frowns. “What do you mean? How could it change?” When I don’t immediately answer, he pushes out of my hug. “People don’t just stop loving family, P’Sud.”
“Of course they don’t. That’s not what I mean.” My brother is old enough to know that some people are attracted to the same sex, but he’s only known me to date girls. Plus, there’s the added factor that he considers Noi to be our brother.
Pah comes to my rescue. “Ten, you know that P’Mee Noi isn’t really your brother, right?”
Ten scowls. “That doesn’t matter. He’s my family!”