22. Twenty-Two
22
TWENTY-TWO
ELIANA RICHARDS
CIA Headquarters, December 2022
Four months together
“ L iam,” I called into the almost completely dark room.
No answer.
“Liam,” I repeated slightly louder this time.
I could see the little computer nerd sitting behind three monitors, his face illuminated by the electrical lights and contorted into a grimace I couldn’t read. Was it disgust or curiosity?
I’ve never met someone before who had facial expressions I wasn’t able to read at all. Guess there’s always a first for everything.
When he still didn’t answer, I slowly stepped in his direction and slammed the palms of my hands on his desk. His reaction was so funny that I wish I would have been able to record it. His eyes widened when he leaned back to look at me and the shock on his face increased exponentially when his chair gave in and he fell back, crashing on the floor with a loud thud.
“Are you okay?” I asked, laughing loudly. I couldn’t wait to tell Peter this story in all details later today.
“Bloody hell, Eliana. Are you trying to kill me?” Liam grunted while he fought his way back on his feet.
“Nah, the CIA still needs their best hacker.”
For a moment, he just stared at me, not knowing if I was joking or being serious.
“Damn right. I’m gonna send a complaint letter to HR,” he then answered with a grin, adjusting the glasses on his face until he was able to see me clearly again.
“Make sure to send it to Daniel and not Gary.”
He pointed his index finger at me, nodding in understanding.
I had no idea who either Daniel or Gary was, but the boys were always complaining about Gary being the party pooper of HR. Even Marta rolled her eyes every time his name came up, and that meant a lot because she’s been working for the CIA for so long.
“What do you want, Eliana?” he asked while collapsing back onto his chair.
“Can you make sure Peter and I have some time alone this evening?”
He blinked a couple of times before his brows furrowed .
“Why?”
“Peter was such a great support for the time I was out of order and I wanted to prepare a thank you for him in the communal kitchen tonight.”
“Mhhhhhmmm…” Liam answered, a wide grin on his face that told me that I wouldn’t get this without sacrifices.
“What do you want?” I asked, sighing loudly.
“How do you assume I want something?”
“You have this very suspicious grin on your face, you know.”
Liam only shrugged his shoulders, as if he didn’t know what I was talking about.
That little piece of shit.
“I’ll get you a ticket for the next match,” I suggested, knowing well that Liam would do a lot for tickets for the Washington Capitals. He and Peter were fighting a lot about what team to support.
I was, in more ways than only one, on Peter’s side.
The Pittsburgh Penguins had my heart since I was a child.
“Two,” Liam countered.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course, he would argue with me as if we were in a Turkish bazaar.
“Deal. But then you make sure that none of the lovebirds disrupt our dinner.”
“You know how big of a task that is, right?”
I winked at Liam in response, knocking on the desk twice before turning around and leaving his office slash dark cave .
“I’m sure for two Capitals tickets you’ll manage to get it done.”
My body was already out of the door when I heard him scream after me, “Things were easier when you still hated him, Eliana Richards!” with a frustrated groan.
I pivoted back, held my face into the room again and answered, “I know. But easy is boring,” before leaving completely. To be honest, I really didn’t care how much work the little hacker had by convincing Nate, Lynn, Marta, and Oliver to leave headquarters all together. Peter deserved this dinner date and I wouldn’t let them destroy it.
Peter was still on his lunch break when I entered our shared office a couple of hours later. Liam had offered to keep him occupied so I could prepare the little scavenger’s hunt I had in mind. My mind had never been the most creative one, but for Peter, I forced myself to prepare something special. He was worth stepping out of my comfort zone. Hell, he was the one who actually allowed me to do so, because with him I felt safe and comfortable. I knew that there was nothing to be scared of with him by my side .
Time to give something back to him.
I laid the first card right on top of his keyboard and reread what was written in my own handwriting:
Let’s shoot some bad guys, Peter Davis!
The insecure voice inside of my head tried to make me believe that he would hate this idea, and that after the huge amount of work he had over the past few weeks, he’d prefer a Netflix and chill evening over a scavenger’s hunt.
Fun fact: the insecurities always had my father’s voice when they tried to take control of my mind like a venom.
But for once, I decided to ignore my father’s voice because it didn’t have the same power and hold on me as it did a couple of months ago.
Another thing I needed to thank Peter for.
He was my golden hour for a reason.
Speaking of the devil, I heard his laughter coming from out in the hallway. He and Liam had spent their lunch break outside in Langley which had been initiated by Liam and me, giving me enough time to prepare the cards around headquarters. Peter had even asked me to join them for their sushi lunch, but I declined by telling him I had a check-up with Becks the PT during my lunch break.
It wasn’t exactly a lie if it was used for a greater purpose, right? Please don’t tell me otherwise.
“Hey, Cinnamon,” he called out as soon as he saw me standing in front of his desk. We still tried to keep things low in front of the others, especially the other team members, but there was only Liam around so I didn’t mind the nickname.
“I’ll leave you two to do whatever a couple in love does. See you tomorrow,” Liam mumbled while leaving the office to head to his own.
“What about NHL tonight? Aren’t we watching it together?” Peter screamed after him. The two watched almost every game together when the work schedule allowed it. It was their little ritual, and as both of them were rooting for different teams, some of the discussions and banter became very serious. It was cute to watch, but I was never someone to silently observe. When the three of us watched NHL together, I was the one screaming the loudest. Every time when our team got an unfair penalty or the referees decided against a goal, Peter silenced me with a kiss so I couldn’t freak out.
What can I say…I’ve always been on the emotional side.
“I can’t tonight, I’m sorry,” Liam answered, but didn’t stop moving towards his office so his voice was only a faint echo in the background.
Peter turned around to look at me with an unpleasant grimace on his face that made me chuckle.
“You’re cute when you look like this.” I snickered and saw him stepping towards me with a fake and definitely exaggerated frown on his face.
“Like this? ”
“My little grump,” I whispered, but instead of shooting a comment back, Peter grabbed my hips in a strong grip, pulled me close, and connected his lips with mine.
As always when this man kissed me, the fireworks in my stomach went off. Please let this never stop because it was more addicting than any drug I’ve ever tried.
“If you don’t give me enough kisses, this little grump will eat you alive,” he whispered on my lips before dragging one of them between his teeth. I gave him a little fake whine in response as he’d been so soft and careful that it really didn’t hurt at all.
“Is this already considered blackmailing?” I asked, my lips curling into a smirk.
“Not when it gives me exactly what I was hoping for.”
“That’s literally the definition of blackmailing, Goldie.” I let out a small laugh and we stepped apart, his hands still on my hips.
“Whatever.” He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a final kiss on my forehead. I freaking loved when he did that because it was the softest way to say that he cares for me and protects me that I’ve ever received.
Carefully I stepped aside, revealing his desk to Peter. It didn’t take him long to find the white card on top of the dark keyboard and his hand slowly reached out to grab it.
I saw his lips moving while he whispered the words written by me. His eyes shot upwards and he looked at me through thick lashes, making me almost melt into a puddle on the floor because he was so pretty.
“I didn’t know there was an op planned, Eli,” he eventually said.
“It’s not. That doesn’t mean we can’t shoot some bad guys.” I winked at him.
Slowly but steadily, the smile spread over his face before he wiggled the card in the air.
“Shooting range date?”
“Shooting range date,” I confirmed and saw his eyes shine with anticipation. Carefully, he placed the card on his desk, closed the gap between us, wrapped his arms around my waist, and started spinning me around.
A high-pitched scream escaped my throat with the sudden movement that quickly changed into laughter.
“We’re having a daaaaaaaate,” he exclaimed, never stop turning us around.
“Put me down Peteeeeeer,” I demanded, but he didn’t even think about following.
“I’m serious, if you don’t let me down now, I’ll vomit on your back,” I whined, the world spinning more, and not only from Peter tossing us around. Taking strong painkillers over weeks had damaged my stomach more than Dr. Summers and I liked. She’d even given me additional medication to prevent this, but it hadn’t been enough. Now, I had to take some more medicine to rebuild the natural environment in my stomach and gut. Thankfully, I had barely any restrictions in my everyday life other than getting nauseous way quicker than before. I hoped this would vanish in a couple of weeks.
And finally, Peter let me down, both of us taking a few steps around while trying to regain our balance again. He was giggling while my main focus was on keeping the bile inside my body that was raising up my esophagus.
“When are we meeting?” he asked eventually.
“5:30 pm. Oliver wants us to finish the Crumble research before logging out,” I answered and saw him nodding in understanding.
“Then let’s go. What are you waiting for, Agent Richards?”
I rolled my eyes on him, but stepped towards my own desk the moment my world was in balance again.
It was 5:45 pm when we entered the shooting range together and Peter still hadn’t a clue that this wasn’t only a shooting range date, but way more. He’s one of the smartest guys I know, but there was not even a single cell in his brain that became suspicious when Oliver and Nate told us that the four of them would head out to have dinner and watch a movie in theaters together. I mean, it wasn’t really an unusual activity for them, but with the amount of work we had at the moment and the level of tiredness, a whole evening out sounded like a wrong idea.
And Liam had sent me a message that they’d preferred to stay in headquarters, cook together, and maybe even watch NHL with us. Well sorry guys, but I needed this evening for myself and Peter.
“Are we going for the normal range or the VR one?” Peter asked and I just realized he had turned around to look at me.
“Normal. I wanna see who’s been able to shoot better.”
“Oh, Cinnamon, that isn’t really a secret, is it? You’ve always had the steadier hand during all these years we’ve been using a gun.”
Peter Davis—once a teacher’s pet, always a teacher’s pet.
“Only with pistols, though. I’ve never been the best with rifles. You know I prefer single, precise shots instead of mindlessly shooting around.”
“We’re not…whatever. I’m not gonna fight with you about this today,” Peter breathed and I maneuvered him to the left shooting range so he would be able to get the next hint after we were done here.
I saw him rolling his shoulders before stepping towards the desk and I knew it was his way of getting into the mindset for firing a gun. Despite the belief of many pedestrians, CIA agents were not blood thirsty killing machines who enjoyed firing guns in their everyday life. We use bullets to protect ourselves and our country, none of us enjoyed taking other people’s lives.
The CIA had one of the most modern shooting ranges in the world, the centerpiece being the VR area where I had my job interview slash hostage situation in. But today, I decided to keep it simple and old school, and add paper targets on top of the rubber ones that we normally shoot into. I had modified the classical ones a little, adding more target rings on different positions instead of one big bullseye in the middle.
We had targets on the shoulder—for when you want to hurt someone and make them unable to use a gun themselves—as well as lower stomach, heart, and between the eyes. The last two were commonly known as targets to kill someone and it’s absolutely true that they’re deadly, but the lower stomach is the safe choice for someone who hasn’t used a gun that often in their life before. There are so many arteries in the lower stomach that the shot person would bleed to death rapidly without need for a super precise shot.
“We both have the same targets on shoulder, stomach, heart, and head. You have four shots and whoever is closer to bullseye in every one of them gets the point. Three points to win,” I explained while heading to my own shooting range.
“Do we shoot at the same time or is the other one watching?” Peter asked.
“Oh definitely watching. Let’s increase the pressure a little! ”
We played rock, paper, scissors for who would start and unfortunately I lost, making him shoot first.
Peter took his sweet time, his hands barely shaking when he pulled the earmuffs over and carefully grabbed the P99 that I’d prepared for him. He then went into position, his arms slightly bent and his breathing evened out, showing me how serious he took this.
Extreme determination was one thing we had in common over all these years.
He shot four times, taking a couple of seconds in between each of them to readjust his aim and make sure he’d score as high as possible. Although the target was far away, I saw that he shot very precisely. Not that I expected less from someone who killed az-Zawahiri with one precise shot between the eyes. I wondered if he would have been a good sniper if he had gone for the SEALs career path. Or better: if they had given him a chance.
“Now show me what you’ve got, Cinnamon,” he said with a cheering smirk on his face. Peter knew exactly how great he had performed.
Showtime, Eliana.
I started to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, an exercise that not only helped with my panic attacks, but also to calm my heart and mind.
You cannot lose this, Eliana. Don’t be a disappointment for me and your mother!
My father’s voice again .
To shut him out, I needed to close my eyes, the P99 already heavy in my hand.
“You’ve got this, Cinnamon,” Peter encouraged me, and the warmth of his voice overpowered the cold of my father’s.
Putting my entire concentration into each shot, I had hit three out of four targets exactly where I wanted to hit them. Although we couldn’t see exactly who did better from this distance, I was sure we were pretty close to each other.
The last shot decided if I would win or lose.
And I know I should have focused completely on the target, staying in my zone to make sure the last shot would be as good as the three before, but in my peripherals, I saw Peter moving a tiny bit and I made the mistake to slightly turn my head and look at him.
We were both determined to win, but still he stood there, smiling from eye to eye with so much love and happiness radiating from him that I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Peter did not care if he wins or loses.
He was just enjoying this afternoon with me.
And suddenly something in my mind found the peace I was looking for my entire life. As if my insecurities were tucked in a huge and warm blanket and offered hot chocolate. The smile on Peter’s face took all the pressure off my shoulders, silenced my father’s voice, and gave me the hold I was seeking for since my mother died .
I didn’t have to win this stupid competition, because I had already won the lottery with Peter by my side.
Slowly, I turned my head back to the target and shifted my gun to the left. My index finger found the trigger and the P99 went off, hitting the target left of the last bullet eye—exactly as I intended.
For the first time in my life, I lost a competition on purpose and it didn’t feel bad at all. Finally, I knew that I was stronger than my trauma and that there was a wonderful and bright life waiting for me without anyone pulling me down.
“Ah shit, Cinnamon. Something wrong with the gun?” Peter asked as soon as I pulled the earmuffs down. His face was pulled into a grimace and I saw the pity in his eyes that was slowly replaced by confusion when I just smiled at him.
I think this was the first time since we met in high school that I lost a competition without throwing a tantrum or a Peter Davis cancel campaign.
“All good. Can’t be perfect 24/7.” I winked at him.
We both pressed the button on our range that let the targets come back to us and I was excited for him to see the next hint. So far, Peter thought this was the entire date. He had no idea that it was only the first stop in our scavenger’s hunt and that I needed to get him away from our sleeping quarters so he wouldn’t see what I’ve already prepared in the communal kitchen.
As soon as Peter reached for the paper target, he realized a card hanging on it and didn’t even check for how good he had aimed.
“I symbolize renewal and being used as the signature flower for spring all over the world,” he read out loud before turning around and looking at me in confusion. I wanted to kiss the furrow on his forehead because he looked absolutely adorable at that moment.
“I wonder what that is supposed to mean,” I tried to say as innocently as possible, but couldn’t hide the small snicker in my voice.
“Cinnamon,” Peter started and I gave him all my attention as usual when he used the nickname for me, “why is there another card here? I thought we had a shooting range date?”
“Apparently it’s a shooting range plus date.”
“Plus what?”
“Well that’s for you to find out. Come one, Goldie. Solve the puzzle and we see where it’ll lead us.”
This was so much more fun than I thought it would. If you knew Peter Davis, you knew that he’d loved to be in control over things and that he was barely the spontaneous type. One could even call him boring. Seeing him enjoying, but also fearing this little game of mine at the same time, was fun. It also warmed my heart to realize how much he trusted me with this.
“The signature flower for spring all over the world…I’d go for tulips, but I don’t think they symbolize renewal.” He was thinking loudly.
Dammit, I hadn’t even thought about tulips, to be honest. For me, the answer was crystal clear, but his mind had a fair point here. Tulips actually were one of the main symbols for spring.
“There are special festivities for this sort of plant. Especially in Asia,” I helped a little.
“You said plant, not flower. Which means it’s not a flower in a classical way. So no tulips.”
I nodded frantically to signal him that he was on the right track. He kept on guessing loudly and it made me realize that Peter didn’t really have much clue about anything around plants and that my symbol for spring apparently wasn’t everyone’s. Or he was just a weird person.
“WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE,” he suddenly exclaimed, making me slightly jump. The moment he saw my reaction he apologized softly by pressing his lips on my forehead and mumbling an apology.
I could proudly say that I was so far in my healing journey that someone raising their voice wasn’t triggering me anymore. But I appreciated Peter’s concern and empathy and leaned into his touch.
“Did you figure it out?” I whispered.
“Cherry blossoms, right? We have one of those in the Japanese garden in the front building.” The air coming out of his mouth while speaking was hot on my forehead, but the warmth spread through my entire body, making me feel even more comfortable than before.
“Ding, ding, ding. Correct answer.” I chuckled and we stepped apart.
It took us only a couple of minutes to clear the shooting range again and made our way out to the Japanese styled atrium in the middle of the front building. Already on my first day at headquarters, the day I had the strange interview with Oliver and Agent Gómez, I felt that this garden felt very out of place. But who am I to judge the decisions of a well-paid interior designer? Does the term interior designer even fit here when it was an outside atrium?
I should stop thinking about bullshit like this. For real, Eliana, you get distracted way too quickly sometimes.
Thankfully, I had secretly gotten our winter jackets so that we wouldn’t freeze to death outside. It was December, so Peter had some struggles to actually identify which of the brown remnants of trees was supposed to be the cherry one, but eventually he found it. Maybe only because there was his Penguins jersey laying on the bench in front of it.
“Did you break into my room to steal this, Eli?” he asked with something between concern and pride radiating from him.
“I wouldn’t call it breaking in when you asked Liam to secretly program my ID card so I could not only enter mine, but your room as well…” I countered and saw his eyes widening. He hadn’t told me about this, the little computer nerd didn’t manage to keep the secret when I was setting up the plan for the scavenger’s hunt.
“How d—" Peter started, but I didn’t even let him finish his question before Liam’s name rolled off my tongue.
He only shook his head in disbelief, but couldn’t shake the smile off his face.
“You’ll need this for tonight,” I explained and he looked at me, understanding.
“Is this date still going?”
“Peter Davis, do you think a quick run to the shooting range is all you get for being the best boyfriend ever?” I clicked my tongue after finishing.
“I decided to just enjoy every second with you that I have,” he responded with a mischievous grin.
As slowly and dramatic as possible, I slightly tilted my head to the side, exhaled loudly, and rolled my eyes.
I heard his laughter before his hand grabbed my waist and he pulled me into a kiss.
“That’s blackmailing,” I whispered to him.
“Does it work?”
“Oh absolutely.”
I felt his smile on my lips before he intensified the kiss. His tongue was caressing over my lower lip, asking for permission. I parted my mouth in response and welcomed him, the moment the tip of our tongues connected, a firework appeared in my lower stomach.
Peter Davis was absolutely driving me nuts and I enjoyed every second of it.
After a few more moments, I broke the kiss, leaning my forehead against his.
“People could see us, Goldie. We’re in the more public part of headquarters. ”
“I don’t care.”
“But I do,” I whined and thankfully he gave in right away, respecting my emotions.
“Then let’s get back into our little safe place,” Peter suggested with a smile, reaching out his hand as an offer and not a demand.
I grabbed it willingly, slipping my small hand into the safe embrace of his fingers like it was supposed to be ever since we found our way to each other. The warmth of his hand spread through my body and warmed my heart in this cold December afternoon. As long as I was with Peter, I’d never need a heater, just being around him was enough to keep me hot.
Back in the elevator on our way up to the second floor, Peter pulled me close and rested his chin on the top of my head, humming a melody I didn’t realize.
“You comfy up there?” I asked, my arms wrapped around his middle. He wasn’t that much taller than me, I doubted that this position was comfortable.
“You’re my favorite pillow,” he commented.
“Funny, because when I recall the last four months correctly, you’ve been mine, very frequently, and it was barely the other way around.”
“We can change that if you want to?” I could literally feel him smirk although this was physically impossible.
“Nah, I’m good the way it is.”
The elevator doors opened with a loud ‘ding’ and I just realized that he had pressed the fifth floor, where our sleeping quarters were located. It was cute that Peter thought that with “safe place” I meant one of our rooms, but I actually just meant this part of the big headquarters.
“Let’s head down to the kitchen first, I need a snack.” I tried to steer him in the right direction. It took Liam and me almost an hour to prepare the food and decoration, although I was responsible for the majority of the ladder. Liam, as much as I loved the little computer nerd, really wasn’t any help with that.
“Alright, let’s go then,” Peter said and pressed the 2 so we could descend.