Chapter 30 - Nick
It was sometime in the middle of the night before Nick made it home, Declan supporting most of his weight.
“I can’t believe this shit. Look at your ass.”
He had too much to drink. Nick had been pissed at the world and needed an outlet, and when playing ball with Declan hadn’t been enough, he turned to alcohol, and that hadn’t gone over well at all.
He’d gotten into a fight with somebody, but couldn’t remember who or why.
But he was about to fight Declan, too, if the bastard didn’t back up off him.
Nick shrugged free of his hold, stumbling forward and into the kitchen where he’d watched Reece start crying. He wasn’t there.
He wasn’t in the bedroom. He wasn’t in the whole apartment.
And that apartment no longer had any of Reece’s things. It was no longer home, not to Nick. How could it ever be the same without Reece? When Reece had been what made the place a home for Nick to begin with… Every morning. Every afternoon. Every night. All night.
“I did it for him,” Nick said, trying to convince himself that he’d done the right thing. Not for himself but for Reece. Because he’d already forced Reece to hide his feelings, and he would not let Reece alter his entire life for him. Not again.
“I know,” Declan said, rubbing his back.
Nick didn’t want his comfort. Didn’t deserve it. But it broke him, and there, with Declan offering his silent support and a shoulder for Nick to lean on, Nick cried until he eventually passed out on the couch.
When he woke up, Nick had a headache from hell. Hungover. His eyes ached. His throat was so dry he couldn’t bear it. He sat up on the couch and massaged his temples.
“Fuck.”
Reece popped in his mind and the first thing Nick felt was rage, instantaneous and so immense that he grabbed the coffee table and was about to flip it over and go on another fucking rampage, but spotted a manila envelope with Reece’s name and picked it up instead.
Inside the envelope were several professional photographs of Reece.
Some in color, some in black and white. Sleepwear and Swimwear.
They had to be from the day before. Nick had asked to see, but seeing Reece at all at the moment was too much for Nick to handle.
So he tucked them away, dropped the envelope back on the table, and cradled his head in his hands.
“Here.”
It was Declan, with some medicine and water.
“He’s… okay. Alex took him back to his apartment last night.”
Nick took the medicine, draining the glass of water. He knew better. Knew Reece was anything but okay and that he should’ve been the one making him okay. Instead, he was the root of Reece’s pain.
“Please tell me this shit’ll get easier,” he said, words quiet, but Nick looked to Declan hopefully. It had to pass, surely.
“I don’t know,” Declan admitted, eyes downcast. “But, with time, I do know that you’ll both be okay,”
Nick never would, but he wouldn’t argue with Declan about it. He didn’t have the energy to.