Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
VIOLET
I stare out the truck’s window as the trees pass us by as we drive back home. There’s silence between us, and it’s making me think if Ezra is second-guessing everything. Ever since Zay cheated on me, I second-guess everything now. I hate it. Is this how it’s always going to be?
Today was heavy. Not in a bad way. I’m still in disbelief about what Ez’s family has done for me.
No one has ever gone out of their way like that for me before.
I’m the type that tries to do everything myself so I’m not a bother.
After everything that has been going on, their generosity is a breath of fresh air.
“Hey,” Ez says, placing his hand on my thigh.
I shift my gaze over to him.
“Stop overthinking this.”
“How do you know what I’m thinking?”
He looks over at me for a brief second and then his gaze goes back to the road. “Because I know you.”
It’s amazing how much more he knows me than Zay ever did. Unless he didn’t care enough about my feelings, like Ez does.
I rest my hand over his, feeling the roughness of his skin.
The proof of his hard work and long hours.
Beneath those calluses and cracked skin, there’s a softness to his hands, a warmth that catches me off guard.
It makes me squeeze his hand a little tighter and hold on to him so I can feel the safeness that he makes me feel. The safety he’s always made me feel.
My mind goes back to when we were seniors in high school.
Ez pulls up to a park we go to sometimes to study.
Instead of getting out of the car right away, I let out a sigh and stare out the window.
The pink flowers on the trees are blooming.
I have always felt relieved at that sight, knowing school is almost over and summer is coming.
But right now, that doesn’t give me the relief I usually get.
“What’s wrong?” Ez asks.
“I’m so sick of school.”
It’s the week after spring break, which means graduation is close.
My senioritis has kicked in to the max. My motivation has been so low all year, but right now it’s even worse.
We get a week off for spring break, and then we have to go back to school.
It’s pure torture. They should let seniors graduate before spring break so we can be done.
For all the years and hours we have already put in, that should be our reward.
Ez shifts his body towards me. “We’re almost done, Vi.”
“I have no motivation.”
“You don’t need motivation. You need discipline.”
I shoot him a dirty look—brows pinched together and my lips pressed in a thin line—unimpressed by his words.
He chuckles. “Why the dirty look?”
“Because I hate when you’re right.”
He chuckles even louder.
“I hate school. Half the shit we’re learning I’m never going to use.”
“Like what?”
“Like pi.” I roll my eyes. “Who the fuck is going to use that? And then the stupid Y equals X, Y, and Z or whatever bullshit it is. Am I really going to be using these dumb formulas for the rest of my life?” I scoff. “I doubt it.”
He throws his head back and howls with laughter.
“I’m glad you find this funny while I’m over here dying in misery.”
He lifts his head back up, catching my gaze as he rests his hand on my thigh. “You’ll get through it. We’re almost done. And I’m here to help you.”
The moment his hand lands on my thigh, my breath catches. A rush of warmth spreads through me, followed by a flutter that makes my stomach twist. Part of me freezes, unsure whether I should pull away or stay still. My heart pounds so fast as I sit here nervously.
Ezra and I have grown so close over the past few months with all the time we’ve spent together; it’s bound to happen, right?
But what no one knows is that my feelings for him have grown beyond just friends.
Every day, I’ve questioned whether he has the same feelings, but I can never tell.
Does his hand on my thigh show he likes me?
I look up at him, still questioning what I should do next. His cheeks are rosy as if he’s just as nervous as me. He clears his throat, turns his head away from me and releases his hand from my thigh.
“I just…” I pause, shaking my head. “Are you sure this is all okay? I mean, it’s one thing to have the bakery under your name but another to have it under your dad’s.”
“My parents love you. They always have. If they didn’t want to do this, they wouldn’t have.” He glances over at me. “Trust me. Everything is fine.”
“Thank you. I hope my reaction didn’t make it seem like I didn’t appreciate it because I really do.” I let out a sigh. “You know me. I like to do everything myself. It’s hard for me to depend on other people.”
“I know. It’s a great quality you have. But it’s okay to let others in and help you when needed,” he says, lifting my hand and placing a kiss on top of it.
Warmth spreads through my body slowly until it settles low in my stomach.
Something so simple, yet feels so intimate.
It’s enough to make my pulse race. My lips twitch into a shy smile as a quiet spark ignites between us.
Like it did that night. Does he still think about that night like I do?
We haven’t talked about it yet, and sometimes I can’t stop thinking about his body against mine, and feel his hands all over me again.
“Good morning,” Ez says, shifting his gaze over to me as I walk into the kitchen.
The savory-sweet smell hits my nostrils. “It smells good. What are you cooking?”
“Pancakes, eggs and bacon.”
I cover my mouth as a yawn erupts from me.
I didn’t sleep well last night. Thoughts of everything kept running through my mind all night.
I was second-guessing the bakery, which led me to think, If I can’t put it under my name, then I’m not ready to get a bakery, so I shouldn’t.
That led me to figuring out the first steps in filing for divorce because the way I see it, Zayn isn’t going to put forth any effort there.
Then I couldn’t stop thinking about Ezra.
All I wanted to do was crawl into bed with him.
My mind kept running, and I wanted his presence to shut it off.
Then that made me second guess what the hell am I doing with my life?
I thought by now I would have my life all figured out.
Well, I did. Until recently. I never thought I would go through any of this.
You hear about those people whose lives get turned upside down overnight from one person’s actions and never think you’ll be one of them. Until you are. It’s selfish and unfair.
Last night while my mind went off, I just wanted to be near Ezra.
Not sexually, even if my mind wandered that way from a simple kiss on my hand.
I just needed his quiet comfort to melt into me.
Lately, my feelings for him have been creeping back in, and it feels like we’re teenagers again.
It all seems to be moving so fast, but maybe the truth is those feelings never left—I just pushed them down.
My heart is so bruised right now, and I wonder if the comfort he gives is what’s slowly drawing me closer to him.
I stare back at him as I prepare a cortado. His back is to me as his gray shirt clings to his back muscles. The morning light shining through hits him perfectly. I stand there watching as he flips a pancake, mesmerized by him.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks.
My head jerks back, breaking my gaze from him. “Um, yeah, did you?”
“Yeah.” He glances over his shoulder with a look that says he wants to say something but keeps it to himself before turning his attention back to the stove.
I finish both of our cortados just as he is setting our plates of breakfast on the table.
“You should teach me how to use that thing,” Ez says, giving a small chin nod toward something behind me.
I turn around, then back to him. “Teach you how to make an espresso?”
He nods, taking a sip of his coffee. “Buying coffee every day is expensive, and it’s not as good as this,” he says, raising his cup.
“Yeah, I can teach you. It’s easy.” I stab my fork into a fluffy scrambled egg. The first bite melts in my mouth, buttery and soft. “Are you going into work today?”
“Yeah. I am,” he says, shifting in his chair. “I’m trying to learn to pull back a little so I can have my guys learn on their own without me always hovering.”
“That’s good. You sound like a good boss. Do you think one day you’ll be able to have people run your shop without you having to go in?”
“That’s the plan.” He smirks, grabbing a piece of bacon.
“Was it hard finding employees? That’s the one thing I’m worried about.”
He exhales a small chuckle and shakes his head. “It was at first. My dad had to come in and help me for a while when I first opened it.”
“That’s nice of him.” I picture him and his dad working alongside each other.
I remember when we were little, I would go over and find Ezra in the garage beside his dad, both greased up from their hard work.
Those two always worked alongside each other.
He had such great role models while growing up.
No doubt the genuine softness he has comes from his parents.
He leans his elbow on the table. “Yeah, that was a hard time.”
“Why?”
“I was still working full time. My dad was slowly retiring and cutting back his hours, but instead, he came in to help me.”
Thinking back to what Ezra told me about having little support from anyone but his immediate family makes my stomach drop. “I wish I would’ve known. I could’ve helped you. Well, maybe not help with the cars.” I chuckle. “But I could have at least given you some encouraging words.”
His head tilts, studying me for a moment. “I know you would have. I’m glad it happened like this. It was hard, but it led me to where I am today.” He clears his throat. “So what are your plans with the bakery? Are you going to keep it how it is?”
I bite my lip nervously, because that’s one of the things that was on my mind so much last night. What am I going to do with the bakery? “I want to make it my own. I’m just nervous I might screw it up, but I’m planning on going there today and getting a feel for what I want to do with it.”
“Let me know, and I can help you.”