Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
VIOLET
“Girl, you’re glowing,” Ashley says, pulling me into a hug. “Where have you been?”
I let out an exhale. “A lot has happened.”
It’s been so long since I’ve done a Pilates class with Ashley. I hate pushing my exercise aside, but with everything happening, Pilates is always the easiest to take off my to do list.
She texted me the other day asking me to get coffee and catch up. Since I went missing from her classes, I bet she thinks I was drowning in depression.
“I was getting worried there for a minute, but now seeing you, I think there is more you need to tell me than I thought.”
The heat on my face rises. I can’t help but smile as I think back to everything good that has happened.
“And what is this place? And why does it say Violet’s Bakery?” she asks, glancing around the bakery.
When she texted me wanting to meet up, I sent her this address and told her to meet me here. With everything that happened, I want to show her what I’ve been doing because I know she will be happy for me.
“This is mine,” I say, opening my arms wide.
Her eyes grow wide, and her mouth parts. “No way.” She does a complete one eighty looking around. “This is so cute. When did this happen?”
“Recently. Everything happened so fast, and that’s why I’ve been missing.”
She pulls me into a tight hug. “Congratulations. This is beautiful. It’s so you.”
“Thank you,” I say, releasing myself from her hug. “Do you want a coffee?” I ask, walking over to the espresso machine I purchased for the bakery.
“Yes, can I do a latte with whole milk?”
“Coming right up.”
I reach into the small fridge beneath the counter and grab the milk. I’ve been slowly stocking up on things so I can be ready for when we open. It’s coming up in a few days, and I’m getting so nervous.
I set our lattes down with two warm pumpkin cinnamon rolls. It’s a new recipe I’m trying out to bring more customers in here since it’s fall, and I know many people go crazy over pumpkin.
Ashey and I sit and chat. I tell her everything that has happened, which ends up being a lot because the last thing she heard from me was when Ezra moved in with me.
So I pile it all onto her. Her eyes widen in disbelief when I tell her everything Rya and Zayn have done. Her mouth opens and shuts so quickly with everything I tell her. Then her brows furrow and her jaw clenches tight as anger rises.
But then I see her soft expression and a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth when I get to the part about Ezra and me.
Every emotion I’ve carried reflects in her, making me not feel so crazy for how up and down my emotions have been.
It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a genuine friend who mirrors all of my varying emotions and reciprocates care.
It feels so good to finally express my thoughts and feelings to someone who cares.
Everyone needs someone they can be open with.
Opening up to Haley helped a lot, too, but I didn’t go into so much detail as I have with Ashley.
“Oh my, and here I thought my divorce was crazy. I’m so glad you have Ezra. He sounds like a keeper.”
“Oh, he is, even if I don’t know it sometimes.”
“What does that mean?”
“Sometimes I’m scared. Scared to lose him. Scared to lose another friend,” I say, clasping my coffee cup and taking a sip.
“I know taking another chance on getting your heart broken is scary. But it’s all worth it. I was scared. But I’m glad I didn’t listen to the worries because now I have such a great life.”
“You felt scared as well?”
She scoffs, and her head jerks back. “Oh yeah. I said hell no to any guy that came by way. It was hard for me to get out of my head that they’re all going to cheat on me just like my ex did.”
“So, it’s normal to be scared?”
“It is. And I can see why you’re scared with him. But I don’t know. I have a feeling Ezra will be good for you. He already is, and you two have so much history together.”
“Yeah, but so did Zay and I, and look where that ended up. I’m not saying he would end up cheating, but imagine if it didn’t work out, what if it ruined our friendship?
Plus, don’t I need to heal first before jumping into something else?
What if us not healing on our own sets us up to fail before we even begin? ”
She nods her head. “I see where you’re coming from, but as a person looking in, it seems to me you both really care for one another and always have.
I mean, hell, he’s been waiting for what sounds like his whole life for you.
It seems like he’s been a good guy since you two were kids, and he’s never changed his ways.
I feel like you can believe him when he says you won’t lose your friendship if something were to happen.
And fuck what society says about healing before jumping into something with someone else so quick. ”
I know she’s right. But how do I turn off this worried feeling?
When I’m with him, I’m not scared. I’m actually calmer than I’ve ever been.
But the second I’m alone, I get too far into my thoughts; I start second guessing and then I spiral.
I drag myself down in a worst case scenario, which is not fair for either of us.
I just don’t know how to stop fighting my own mind.
“It’s natural to have the feelings you’re having. I would be more worried if you weren’t having those feelings. You’re putting both of your feelings into consideration. That’s huge coming from someone whose heart has been through it.”
I nod my head, agreeing with what she’s saying. “Everything is just happening so fast.”
“Just remember to do what you want and what makes you happy.”