Chapter 22 Cecily #2
“I come with food,” Dylan says, stepping inside. And I hate myself for how happy I am to see his face. He sets up the table, naming everything he got from a few different food trucks.
I put my laptop away and sit across from him. “Thank you.”
He nods, handing me a plastic bag. “I feel like a dick that you have to take that.”
“Don’t. It’s just an extra precaution. I’m already on birth control, but we had sex three times––”
“Three times,” he echoes.
I wince. “Yeah. That’s––”
“A lot.”
I nod. “I can’t believe it.”
“Me too,” he says, taking a bite of sushi.
“Can I have some of that?” I ask.
He slides it over and leans back in the chair. “You can’t do that to me again, Ce.”
I slide a piece of sushi into my mouth and ask, “Do what?”
He leans forward now. “You started crying, and then you got awkward. Did I do something?”
I shake my head. “No.”
He glares at me in confusion.
“The orgasm made me cry, and now I feel wide awake. I don’t know, but don’t take it so personally, Dilly. I’m okay now. I think.”
“Okay,” he says, plucking a sushi and eating it. “So, we’re good?”
I nod. “Of course.”
I eat most of the sushi while he pulls out a box of noodles and eats it with chopsticks.
“I have a lot of homework,” Dylan says, picking out a piece of cabbage and eating it.
“How much homework?”
“Too much, so if I disappear for a minute, just know I’m playing catch-up.”
“Thanks for the heads up.”
He raises his eyebrows and flashes me a smile.
If Dylan hadn’t mentioned his homework situation, I would think he was ghosting me.
He disappeared. I’ve been going to the gym alone this week, and it’s been a reality check that Dylan really has become my best friend.
I never see him on campus, but I find myself looking for him anyway.
Every time I go to the gym, I wonder if he’ll show up.
I open my phone to see if he’s texted. Hell, I’ve even looked through my Story views to see if his name pops up.
We haven’t talked since that night, and I guess the space was necessary.
I take Dylan’s advice and text Dane, inviting him to Rocky’s party this weekend.
Dane: Alix told me about it. I’ll be there.
I stare at the text, wondering why he had to mention the part about Alix. A part of me thinks Dane isn’t into me, and that I’ll always be his sister’s annoying friend.
I finally give my apartment a deep clean and unbox my new home décor. Alix confirms with me that they will be coming to my place on Saturday around eight.
When Saturday rolls around, I am up to my eyeballs in work. I tend to do this to myself. I didn’t want to have a panic attack about Dane coming tonight, so instead, I buried myself in a list of work all week. It also helped me forget about a boy named Dylan.
And because my work is content-based, it’s endless. I’ve been kept pretty busy. But what throws me off is when Dylan likes a selfie on my Stories and replies.
Dylan: Are you coming to Rocky’s tonight?
Cecily: Yes, sir.
Dylan: And your friends?
Cecily: They are coming.
Dylan: Cool. I’ll see you there.
I stare at the word cool.
Am I reading into that too much?
Cool.
Cool?
I don’t reply to him as I get ready for the night.
Alix and Dane arrive near nine, not eight. I’ve been ready for two hours, and I’m trying hard not to overthink this, but it’s hard not to. Especially when I feel throbby, and that throb makes me crave Dylan. But I’m trying hard not to admit that.
“Hey!” I say, opening the door to Alix and Dane. God, he’s shorter than I remember. I ignore him and pull Alix into a hug. “Come in.”
Dane stands with his hands in his pockets. “Cecily.”
“Dane,” I smile.
He pulls me into a hug and says, “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, too long.”
They don’t remove their shoes as they enter my place. The apartment feels small and suffocating as they stand between the couch and the dining table.
“So,” I say. “We can head over right now.”
Alix nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”
I hop into their car, and I set the GPS to Rocky’s address. The entire drive, Alix is talking our ears off about everything going on in her circle of friends at home. When we pull up, the party is spilling out onto the street.
Alix starts dancing excitedly in the passenger seat. Dane parks the car, not impressed.
When we walk in, the music is blaring, and people are dancing. Alix holds my hand on her right side and Dane’s arm on the left.
“Drinks!” Alix says, pulling us to the kitchen where bottles of alcohol sit.
I glance around, looking for familiar eyes. I see Rocky first. He has a girl on his lap. And then Scott. Westley is quiet, sipping on his beer, but I don’t see Dylan.
Alix forces a cup into my hand and says, “You promised me.”
I nod, taking the cup. I watch Dane as I take a sip. I need liquid encouragement because so far this night has been awkward. It’s not what I hoped it would be.
Dane says, “Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
I finish the entire drink in three gulps and throw my cup in the trash.
“Woo!” Alix laughs. “Someone’s getting drunk tonight!”
I laugh with her to ease my nerves. “I promised.”
Dane says, “So, Cecily, how’s college?”
I lean in so he can hear me. “It’s good. I’m making friends and––”
“Cecily!” I hear behind me. And when I turn, I see Marina with the same two girls. “Hey!” She throws her arms around me.
I greet her and her friends.
“You didn’t send that PDF over.”
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” I mutter as my stomach twists. Shit. I completely forgot. I think I turn bright red. “I promise. I promise I will. I completely forgot.”
Marina looks over my shoulder. “Who are your friends?”
“Oh, this is Alix. My bestie from home, and her brother, Dane.”
Marina smiles, looking at Dane. And then she turns back to me. “Have you seen Dylan?”
I shake my head.
She says, “Me either. Weird. He invited me tonight.”
I smile. “Cool. If I see him, I’ll let him know you’re here.”
She smiles, patting me on the shoulder. “Thanks.”
When she walks away, I turn to Alix and grab her drink. Alix laughs as I slurp it down. “Whoa!”
Dane says, “I see some things haven’t changed.”
I glare at him, knowing that he’s talking about high school. He keeps his eyes on mine, and I don’t feel what I once did for him.
Hmm.
Shame.
I turn to Alix, grabbing her. “Let’s go get that girl off Rocky’s lap.”
When we walk outside, Scott sees me and shouts, “Cecily!”
He puts an arm around my shoulder, handing me a drink. I take a sip, and he says, “Would you look at that?”
I keep drinking.
“Okay. Okay. Okay,” Scott says, trying to grab the drink away from me, but I turn away from him and keep drinking.
Alix starts talking to Rocky. When the girl gets off his lap, my mission is accomplished. I try to walk away, but Scott keeps his arm around my shoulder.
Dane walks out the door, stopping before us.
“So, this must be Dylan,” Dane says, eyeing down Scott.
Scott laughs. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Cecily,” Dane says to me like he’s suddenly too good for this conversation.
“You invited this clown?” Scott asks me.
“Stop,” I beg, turning to Scott. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. His eyes are already red and burning bright. “How much did you have to drink?”
“Answer the question, Ce. Did you invite him?” Scott says.
“Ce,” Dane says. “Let’s get out of here.”
I say, “We just got here.”
“I’m not welcome,” Dane says, looking at Scott.
And then I start laughing, pulling Scott’s arm off me. “What did Alix tell you about Dylan?”
“Just that you’re fucking him,” Dane says.
I look at Alix over my shoulder. Great. That’s fantastic.
Scott barks an obnoxious laugh, so I glare at him. “Really?” Scott says. “That’s what Alix said?”
Dane steps to him. “You’re just a placeholder, man. She actually wants me.”
And then Scott starts laughing hysterically. He pats Dane on the shoulder and says, “You can have her, dude.”
“Scott,” I scold.
“Scott?” Dane says, confused.
“Bro,” Scott says. “You told me all that I need to know. I got my eye on you, Cecily.” Then he walks away.
“Scott!” I call after him, but he ignores me. I look at Alix, who’s transfixed with Rocky.
I turn to Dane and say, “Did you mean that?”
“What?”
“What you said… about Dylan being a placeholder.”
“Yeah.”
“We barely talk, Dane.”
He shrugs. “I came here, didn’t I?”
I nod.
“So, let’s leave Alix with the guy she won’t shut up about and go back to your place.”
I look up at Dane, and my heart squeezes. I have waited so long to hear those words, dying for a piece of his attention. And now that I have it, I…
Over his shoulder, the front door opens, and when I see Dylan, my breath catches. And then my chest tightens because he’s with someone. She’s pretty, smiling up at him. Whatever they’re talking about has his full attention.
“So, what do you say?” Dane asks. I look up at him, wanting the jealous surge pulsing through my body to stop. I feel like my heart is tearing at the sight of Dylan with another girl, so I pull Dane’s head to mine and do something reckless. I kiss him.
Dane takes that as a green light, stepping forward to lean deeper into the kiss. I close my eyes, trying so hard to feel something, but there’s nothing. I feel nothing. I pull away, pressing my lips together.
“I’m sorry,” I say to Dane, shaking my head. “I can’t.”
“Cecily.” He steps in front of me. “Are you fucking serious? You’ve been throwing yourself at me for years, and Alix convinces me to give you a chance, and now this?”
I look over his shoulder, trying to find Dylan, but he’s nowhere in sight.
I start panicking when Dane’s brow furrows.
I inhale, trying to calm the storm brewing in my chest. I feel so stupid, humiliated, and embarrassed.
I so badly wanted things to work out with Dane, but this last week has chopped me down in ways that no one can understand because not even I understand it.
“I’m sorry,” I say again.
Dane walks over to Alix and yanks her arm through the party.
And I stand frozen in place while Alix yells at him, looking back at me.
She shouts, “What the fuck, Ce?”
My breath is shaky, and my vision starts to blur. Everyone’s staring at me, and I’m trying so hard not to crumble.
I close my eyes, and warm hands touch my arms.