Chapter Fourteen #3
He used her nickname, something he’d not done before. It caused Amabella to look at him, feeling her heart pound and her palms sweat at the familiarity he was taking with her. Ever since had kissed her hand, she felt there was something more between them. Now, he was calling her by a pet name.
Her heart beat just a little faster.
“You are correct, of course,” she said after a moment. “I just do not want to see him hurt. He has a great future ahead of him.”
“He does,” Markus agreed. “And the first step towards that future is exactly what he wants to do – cleaning out Mordrington and making sure all Trastamara properties are safe and well-manned. Atlas has a great empire here and he knows it. He will make a fine ally for the House of de Wolfe.”
Amabella was proud of her son; that was clear.
But as a mother, she worried. She would always worry.
But she also knew that at some point, she would only be hurting him by trying to protect him.
Markus was correct. Atlas was a man and she needed to treat him like one.
But all she could see when she looked at him was that little child with the dark hair that flopped down over his eyes.
Those days were gone.
“Thanks to you,” she said, gratitude in her tone.
“Everything Atlas has become is because of you and your men, and the knights at Castle Questing. I did not see how his master, Tobias, trained him, but I have seen how you have tried to mold him and give him advice. You have been a wonderful teacher, Markus. Your heart is full of kindness and generosity. Atlas is very fortunate to have you.”
Markus smiled faintly. “He is a good student,” he said. “He has had to do a good deal of growing up in the past week, but he is learning. I believe he will do very well. I hope that you will continue to keep me informed of his progress even after I leave.”
Amabella knew, in theory, that Markus would not remain at Trastamara forever, but to hear him speak of it made it a reality. She began to feel a longing for the man she couldn’t begin to describe and he wasn’t even gone yet. All she knew was that, somehow, it saddened her.
Hurt her.
“Are you leaving soon, then?” she asked.
Markus sat back in the chair. “More than likely,” he said. “I was never meant to remain here for any length of time. In fact, I plan to assume my position as Lord Protector next month.”
“Will you go to London?”
Markus shook his head. “Edward is making a push into Scotland and he will be here in the north, soon, if he isn’t already,” he said. “He is due at Berwick soon and I will assume my position then.”
Amabella thought on that for a moment. “Edward is invading Scotland?”
Markus chuckled softly. “There are a few things Edward wishes to do with Scotland.”
“That means it will be difficult on the borders,” she said. “Trastamara sits on Scottish lands, yet we are loyal to the English. This could go badly for us if Edward is intent on war.”
It was an astute observation. Markus couldn’t, in good conscience, deny such a thing because it was the truth.
“I will not let anything happen to Trastamara,” he said. “I will put the de Wolfe troops here to protect you, so do not worry about that. You will always have the protection of de Wolfe. And me.”
There was something in his tone that suggested there was more to that statement than met the eye and Amabella’s heart began to race again.
The last time they’d spoken, he’d kissed her hand and told her that she was perfect.
Was it only flattery? Or was it something more?
Markus didn’t seem like the type to deliver idle flattery.
He seemed more sincere, deeper than most men, and he was certainly more compassionate than most. As she’d told him, he had a great heart.
But he’d also made it clear that he was leaving with Edward, to become the king’s protector. Surely a man like that couldn’t be thinking about courting a woman, or even marrying a woman. Certainly not with a woman who was older than he was.
… could he?
“You have been a very good friend to Trastamara,” she said, looking into his eyes and unable to pull away. “I do not know how we can ever repay you, but I promise that we shall be good allies forevermore.”
Markus smiled faintly. “That is exactly how you can repay us,” he said. “By being good allies and neighbors. And I hope that…”
He suddenly stopped himself, giving her an embarrassed little smile and averting his gaze.
He was sitting there, looking at his hands, and Amabella watched him closely.
For the first time since she’d known him, he seemed uncertain, which was completely unlike him.
Usually, Markus was the paragon of confidence and strength.
But in his vulnerability, she found courage. He’d indicated that he wanted to flatter her and he’d even said that, someday, it might be more. What more was on her mind. Perhaps it was foolish and futile and all of those things, but she had to know.
She had to ask.
“Markus,” she said after a moment. “May I ask you a question?”
He nodded, glancing up at her. “Of course.”
She took a deep breath. It was now or never.
“What did you mean when you said that you intended to flatter me a great deal and, in time, mayhap more?” she asked.
“I have been trying to figure out what you meant and forgive me for being dull, but it seems to me… that is to say, if I was a woman to be courted, you might be hinting towards such a thing. Could you possibly put my mind at ease about what you meant?”
His gaze lingered on her for a moment before he suddenly stood up.
He took a deep breath as he did it, making it sound long and laborious, as if she’d just asked him an insurmountable question.
He took a few steps towards the hearth and ended up leaning against the mantle above it.
All the while, he was looking into the flame as he considered his answer.
“It was clumsy of me, wasn’t it?” he said softly. “I do not think I made myself very clear.”
Amabella shook her head. “You were not clear at all. But your kiss to my hand… that was very sweet. I’ve not been flattered like that in twenty years.”
He smiled, but it was a weak one. He continued to stare into the fire as it softly snapped.
“I do not know how to answer you,” he said.
“I suppose I never should have said those things, but I could not help myself. Ama, I have known many women in my life. I have had more than my share of female admirers.”
Amabella laughed softly. “You do not need to tell me the obvious,” she said. “I knew that the first day I saw you. How many fathers have come beating down your door with offers of marital contracts?”
His smiled turned embarrassed. “A few.”
Her laughter grew. “I would say it was probably more than a few,” she said. “And you’ve not accepted any of them?”
He looked at her, then, shaking his head. “Nay.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “Because they were for marriage to a girl,” he said. “I am not interested in young women who have yet to grow up. I have never been interested in someone like that.”
“What have you been interested in?”
His gaze was intense. “May… may I make a confession?”
“Please.”
He sighed heavily, turning back to the flame, the mantle, looking at anything but her.
“The first day I saw you, I remember thinking what a spectacular example of womanhood you were,” he said.
“Roget de Sauque had a goddess for a wife and what did he do? He spit on that fortune. He shite upon it. He did everything he could to diminish the fact that he was married to a lush, compassionate woman of unearthly beauty. He was the most fortunate man in the world and he didn’t care. ”
Amabella was stunned by his words. She opened her mouth to reply but had no idea what to say. At least, for a moment. She had to let those words sink in, like salve for her soul.
“Oh… Markus,” she breathed. “That is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
He looked at her, then. “I know,” he said.
“That’s the problem. I know how badly de Sauque treated you.
Atlas knows. Every allied knight serving in de Wolfe properties probably knows.
Atlas hates his father so much that he will only address him as Roget because he, too, knows how badly the man treated you.
And that makes me so angry at Roget that if he wasn’t already dead, I would probably kill him.
I would have given anything to be in Roget’s place when he married you, but I would have done it because of the magnificent woman you are, not because I would inherit a property.
I would care not for Trastamara and her wealth.
It’s you… you are the true prize, Amabella. It’s a pity Roget never realized that.”
Amabella was staring at him, wide-eyed. As Markus watched, her eyes filled with a lake of tears that suddenly spilled down her cheeks. Swiftly, he went to her, standing in front of her as she sat upon the chair.
“I am sorry,” he said quickly. “I did not mean to hurt or offend you. If I did, please forgive me. I did not mean to.”
Amabella blinked and tears splattered, but she reached up to take his hand and squeeze it. Markus took a knee in front of her, holding her hand in his two enormous mitts. It was a moment before she could compose herself enough to speak.
“You are the kindest, most compassionate man I have ever met,” she whispered tightly. “You will never know what your words have meant to me. It is difficult to speak of it. I… I am not sure how to…”
He cut her off gently. “You do not have to speak of it.”