Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
H E SLEPT IN THE guest room that night. If he’d gone to bed he knew what would have happened. No matter what passed between them during the day, their bodies sought solace and comfort in their inevitable coupling. If he’d gone to bed, they would have made love, and he wasn’t sure he could do that to her.
Not when she was so obviously being torn apart by guilt.
A guilt he would have said he wanted her to feel, only weeks ago. A guilt he would have sworn until he was blue in the face that she deserved. And now? He knew only that he couldn’t take her in his arms, make her desperate with her own desires, and offer her nothing other than pleasure in return.
They barely spoke the next day. She was quiet and insisted she had to get herself ready for the wedding.
He slept in the guest room again that night. It was ridiculous, but he was holding onto the fact that they would deal with all of this after the wedding.
And in the meantime, he had Joshua. He took him to school, picked him up, and he was certain that they were doing the right thing. The current state of affairs wouldn’t continue. They’d find a better way to interact in time, he assured himself.
On the day of the wedding, his parents arrived, and he was glad to see them, despite his mother’s consternation.
“You’re getting married?” His mother demanded, as she swept into the house, her eyes looking for whoever his bride might be. Maria Salbatore was clearly unhappy with this development – doubtless because she expected to have been consulted prior to the day of the wedding. And given her closeness to Bella, he could understand how this situation would have blindsided Maria.
“She’s upstairs,” he answered her unspoken question, hugging his mother and then shaking his father’s hand.
“I’ll say. How could you not have mentioned her to me?”
“Mother, do we have to do this today?”
“It’s all a surprise,” Roberto interrupted. “That’s all.”
“I wanted to tell you about her in person,” Xavier said, gesturing for them to take a seat.
“You could have done that weeks ago. Spain is only a short flight away; you couldn’t have brought your bride home to meet us? Is your wedding day really when you’d choose for us to see her for the first time?”
“It’s better this way.” And at precisely that moment, before he could expand, the door to the lounge room flew open and Joshua tore into the room, a shoe in one hand and a giggle erupting from his mouth.
Janice followed. “Come here, you little Master Salbatore, and let me straighten that suit up.”
“No,” Joshua giggled and then, realizing that there were other people in the room, coming to an abrupt stop. With his innate sense of curiosity, he stared at the two newcomers, and they were staring back, utterly watchful and completely robbed of breath and words.
“Mother, father,” Xavier drawled, “I’d like you to meet Joshua.”
“But he’s…”
“Yes, I know.” Xavier forestalled any comment they might make. Though Joshua was only three, they still hadn’t explained to him exactly who Xavier was, having agreed to wait a little longer.
“Go into the hall and put your shoes on, please, Josh.”
Joshua began to giggle once more and ran for the door, pitching himself at it like a little cannon, but Janice was there and she scooped him up as he ran past. And then they were both laughing, having no idea of the little localized tsunami they’d left in their wake.
When they were alone, Maria said, “You … he looks exactly like you did as a boy.”
“There is some of his mother in him, too,” Xavier murmured meaningfully.
“I don’t understand.” Maria fanned her face and Roberto held her arm, supporting her.
“Four years ago I had a brief relationship with a woman. Joshua is the result.”
“Four years ago you were… engaged to Arabella,” his mother said, her eyes dragging to Roberto’s.
“Arabella and I had broken up.”
Shocked silence met his pronouncement. “But you were engaged. At the hospital. She was --,” Maria turned to Roberto. “They were engaged.”
“Arabella and I were waiting until we could tell you together,” Xavier said. Then added, “Apparently. I can’t actually recall any of this for myself.”
The door burst open once more and all three turned to look in that direction, only to see Elizabeth walk in, the phone tucked under one ear and Xavier’s body tightened. She’d withdrawn so hard and fast from him that he’d taken to picking up whatever crumbs he could – he watched her whenever he was able. At times like this, when she was distracted and relaxed, and he imagined how it would be if she were like this more often. All the time.
“I don’t know if he’s taking new patients but I’ll find his number,” she said, not looking up, her eyes scanning the room for something else entirely. She moved quicker once she located her iPad, lifted it and then turned.
When she saw Xavier’s parents, she dropped the phone to the floor. It clattered loudly, skittering across the room. Xavier scooped for it, his expression impossible to discern. He handed it to Elizabeth and came to stand beside her.
“Nell? I’ll have to call you back. No. Everything’s fine.” She disconnected the call and slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, her air of relaxation completely evaporated.
Xavier was aware of the three of them staring at one another, silent, watchful, confused as all hell. And then Elizabeth lurched forward, a forced smile on her face – her expression so different to how he’d ever seen it. “You must be Xavier’s parents,” she said, softly, the words trembling. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
Maria’s face was pale – Xavier couldn’t blame her. He could have prepared her better for this but he hadn’t particularly wanted to risk anyone saying or doing anything to upset an already perilous situation.
“You’re…”
“My name is Elizabeth,” she said, and Xavier watched as Roberto moved forward and put his hand in Elizabeth’s.
No one spoke. They continued to stare at one another. It was all very sensible and yet didn’t seem to make any sense.
“You had a baby,” Maria murmured.
“Yes.”
Maria was becoming increasingly wan, and Elizabeth noticed. “Would you like to come to the kitchen and have some water? Perhaps sit down?”
Maria nodded, her lips compressed tightly.
Xavier moved closer, his expression serious. “We’re getting married in three hours,” he said, a warning note for his mother contained in the simple statement.
But it was Elizabeth who flinched, and his chest rolled with the certainty that this wedding was the last thing she wanted. Now who was being selfish?
* * *
“You’re … you were pregnant,” Maria murmured, shaking from the shock of the last few minutes.
“Yes.” Ellie was awash with emotion. Anger, grief, guilt, pain, and resentment. They all bubbled through her, tearing her apart and somehow making her defiant too.
“His engagement was over. That weekend with you; it wasn’t an affair.”
“I know that now,” Ellie agreed, moving to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. She handed it to Maria, the older woman’s fingers shaking.
“I thought he’d just… I thought you were just some woman. I needed to save his engagement. He was in a coma and couldn’t speak for himself so I thought… I truly believed…”
“You thought I was just some random hook up,” Ellie supplied.
Maria’s eyes flashed.
“I wasn’t. He loved me, and I loved him.”
Maria’s expression showed shock and pain. “I had no idea…”
“No.” Ellie stood, the pointlessness of it all hurting her now.
“I saw you there and presumed the worst. I… there was a time, some years ago, when Roberto… when I had to go through that. My husband had an affair and it almost destroyed me. I wanted to spare Arabella from the same pain. I didn’t think…”
“You thought I meant nothing to him, and you wanted to get rid of me, no matter what.”
“ Si, ” Maria agreed, her eyes rounded with surprise as the realisations began to explode.
“You have to believe me, I had no idea about their broken engagement.”
“I do believe you,” Ellie said with a crisp nod.
“They got married.”
“I know. It seems everyone was trying to do what was right for Xavier.”
Maria lifted a hand to her head, pressing her palm to her brow. Sympathy flooded Ellie, but she wished, in that moment, that she could be colder.
“You phoned to tell me about the baby?” Maria asked, and then she took a step forward, curving her fingers around Ellie’s wrist with urgency. “That’s why you called me?”
“Yes,” Ellie agreed, her gaze level despite the rapid beating of her heart.
Maria’s eyes blinkered shut. “And I told you how happy he was with Bella.”
“How they were planning a family of their own,” Ellie reminded the older woman.
Maria winced. “I needed you to disappear. Life is so precarious, happiness even more so, and you were a threat to all that.”
“I was a woman he’d fallen in love with,” she corrected, her voice shaking with indignation. “Who loved him very much. I was his happiness.”
Maria’s expression was heavy with grief. “You must understand, Elizabeth, that I had no idea about your pregnancy or that my son was unattached when you met one another. I would never have interfered if I’d been in possession of the facts.”
And then, something inside of Ellie snapped. It was all so reasonable; so logical, but the pain was as real and as strong as it had been back then. “I do believe that.” She clipped the words out tersely. “That doesn’t make any of this right! I lost years of my life - a life I could have spent with Xavier. He lost a chance to raise his son from birth. And yes, that was my decision, and if I could do it all again, I would have told him, regardless of what you said to me. But I was a young woman, terrified and alone, ostracized by my parents, pregnant, worried about the future and how I’d manage, and you treated me like dirt on the floor.”
Remorse flashed on Maria’s face. “For his sake! For Arabella…”
Ellie ground her teeth together. “Yes. For them! You said whatever you needed to get rid of me – and you did a great job.”
Maria’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry that I hurt you –,”
“You did hurt me,” Ellie agreed angrily, before sucking in a steadying breath. “You told me I meant nothing to him, when he was my whole world. I was pregnant with his child and I couldn’t believe that the man I loved had used me like that. But I did believe it, because you’re his mother and you told me you’d talked to him about me! You told me he regretted what had happened between us! Do you have any idea what that felt like?”
Maria didn’t respond.
“I was pregnant, and I called to tell him – to find out how to contact him. And in the face of what you told me, I knew I could never interfere with his life. He wished he’d never even met me, according to you. Why would he want to know about my baby?”
“Because it was his baby, too,” Maria whispered, strangled, pained words.
“And I have raised Josh on my own, every day missing Xavier, wishing he was a part of our life, wishing my son had a father, and believing that Xavier was happily married with a family of his own. Because of you.”
Maria’s face had drained of all colour and there was a very small part of Ellie that took satisfaction from that. “I only wanted to protect my son’s marriage.”
Ellie sucked in a breath, trying to calm the raging fever in her blood. “You were wrong to lie to me. You were wrong to treat me like that when you knew nothing about what Xavier and I had shared.”
A single tear escaped from the corner of Maria’s eye, but Ellie ignored it, refusing to soften. “But I was wrong, too. I believed the worst in Xavier so easily. I’d loved him with all that I was and yet, at the first sign of difficulties, I gave up. I should have fought for him, and what we were, but I didn’t. And that’s not your fault – it’s mine.”
Maria shook her head grimly. “I made it easy for you to believe my son capable of those deeds.”
“Yes.” Ellie’s expression shifted. “But you know Xavier, as I do. Do either of us really think he would sleep around behind his fiancé’s back?”
It was like perforating a dark storm cloud. Everything shifted into blinding clarity for both women.
“No,” Maria frowned, and she said the word over and over, and then sank into a chair. “Of course he didn’t cheat on Arabella. Xavier once walked out of a shop holding a pen because he’d been distracted – he was only six or seven years old – and he didn’t realise until he’d made it home. He walked the three miles back, in the middle of the day’s heat, because he couldn’t bear the thought of having stolen.” Her eyes lifted to Ellie’s face. “He didn’t cheat. He would never do that.”
Ellie nodded, breathing easier. “I know that, now. And I should have known it then.” She moved towards the kettle, lifted a hand to flick it and then changed her mind. She turned back to face her future mother-in-law. “My point is that you were only a part of the problem. I didn’t have faith in Xavier, nor my feelings for him. He needed me and I wasn’t there, and that was my choice. I chose to walk away.”
“You were a child,” Maria soothed.
“In any event, it’s my wedding day,” Ellie said quietly. “Soon we’ll be family, and I believe it’s better if we never speak of this again.”
“You are really prepared to do that? To put the past in the past?”
Ellie grimaced. “The past is in our past – I just intend to leave it there.”
Maria swallowed softly. “Xavier must be furious with me for meddling –,”
Ellie’s eyes jerked to the older woman’s. “He has no idea we met before today,” Ellie said urgently. “And I don’t intend him to.”
“What?” Maria stood then, moving closer to Ellie. “You mean you haven’t told him what I said to you?”
“God, no,” Ellie grimaced. “Are you kidding? He’d be furious with you.”
“Deservedly so,” Maria winced.
“Perhaps. But I can see that you were only trying to protect him – I can see that you were acting like a fierce mother bear and I understand that, because I would do the same for my son.”
“So he thinks you simply walked away?”
“I did walk away,” Ellie shrugged.
“But I –,”
“Maria?” Ellie interrupted, her eyes lifting to the clock. “I’m not interested in passing around the blame for what happened. No one besides Xavier and me is responsible for what happens between us. I thought I loved him, but love should weather all storms. It didn’t. Involving yourself will only spread his anger, not alleviate it. You acted in what you presumed to be his best interests then? I’m asking you to do the same now. Just let it go. Start fresh from today.”
Maria opened her mouth to object, or perhaps to agree, but then she simply swept her eyes shut and nodded. A moment later, she reached for Ellie’s hand. “I truly wish we’d never interfered…”
Ellie sighed. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last month, it’s that you can’t change the past.” She cleared her throat, unable to say anything more to absolve the older woman’s guilt. “Excuse me.”
* * *
Ellie was a bride. The woman staring back at her from the mirror was, anyway, which surely meant that Ellie was too. Bridal gown, albeit simple, bridal hair and makeup, flowers in one hand, ring on the other.
She looked like a woman who was ready to enjoy the happiest day of her life, but her chest felt like it had been splintered in two. She wanted to scream. To break something. To throw something. She wanted to stomp her feet and cry every obscenity she knew into this beautiful, ancient church.
She wanted to stare down every single one of their guests and tell them what a mess this all was.
And then she closed her eyes and she saw Xavier and Joshua together and her heart gave a lurch and she knew this was still the right decision.
The worst of this day was over. Coming face to face with his parents had been something she’d been dreading for a long time. But it was over, now.
Ellie had meant what she’d said to Maria. She didn’t want Xavier to know the truth about his parents’ role in their relationship – or lack thereof. She alone had made the decision to keep Joshua secret – to raise him on her own.
He hadn’t lied to her.
He hadn’t cheated on anyone.
He’d fallen in love with her, and she’d let him go. She’d let what they were go, because she hadn’t really believed in what they’d shared.
All of this was on her head.
“You ready?” Nell stood at the door, her eyes quietly watchful.
Ellie nodded, forcing a smile to her face.
But Nell wasn’t convinced by it. She stepped into the small room and clicked the door softly closed. “Ellie? You don’t have to do this, you know.”
Apollo had said the same thing, but it hadn’t been true then, and it wasn’t true now. There were dozens of reasons to go through with this, or maybe there was just one – Joshua. She didn’t know anymore.
“Don’t I?” It was just a whisper.
“No. Of course you don’t.” Nell closed the distance between them and put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to be miserable when you get married.”
“Maybe I deserve to be miserable,” Elizabeth said with a soft shake of her head, then lifted her gaze to pin her sister’s. “Maybe I deserve everything I’m getting.”
“How can you speak like that?”
“I should have told him.” She straightened her shoulders. “I made a mistake.”
“Oh, Ellie--,”
“No.” Ellie’s interruption was soft, but laced with intent. “You’re pregnant. You’ve seen what that means to Apollo. Now imagine any circumstances that would justify you keeping that from him.”
Nell opened her mouth to speak and then slammed it shut. “It’s different.”
“Fundamentally, it isn’t,” Ellie contradicted. “A child’s a child. I should never have hidden from this. Xavier is Joshua’s father and he deserves to be a part of his life.”
“His life, yes. But your life is your own…”
“I’m done hurting people,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Done. Over. No more. I need to fix this – starting today.”
“At what cost?” Nell prompted, stroking Elizabeth’s shoulder gently.
“There is no cost too high. I have to do this.”
“Damn it, Ellie, you’re not thinking straight.”
“Eleanor, I’m thinking straight for the first time in years. So much of this happened because I wasn’t strong enough to make the right decision. I should have fought for Xavier in the hospital with all of my heart. I should have confronted Arabella, and I should have confronted his parents. I should have forced my way into his life to tell him about Joshua, and I should have made him see, four weeks ago, that I have been trying my hardest to do the right thing this whole time. I have made so many mistakes, but marrying him? That’s not a mistake.”
Nell’s eyes swirled with doubts, but Ellie’s were loaded with determination. She had no doubts that she was making the right decision – even if it did feel a little like a lamb being led to slaughter. Her voice was softened when she picked up the thread of her thoughts. “I’m standing in the church, wearing the dress, and my son is out there, with his father, waiting for me to walk down the aisle and make us a real family. So don’t argue with me now. Not now. Not here.” She had to bite down on her lower lip to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.
Nell groaned softly and then wrapped her twin sister in a hug. “I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
“I do know that. And I’m grateful to you. But I have to do this.”
* * *
As Elizabeth walked down the aisle, Xavier couldn’t help but contrast her with the way she’d been at that ball in London. He’d watched her from afar for long enough to see that she glowed with a radiant inner-confidence; he’d seen her as a beautiful, happy, shimmering creature, part mythical for how perfect she was.
And now?
She was the farthest from that she could be. She was tense. Miserable. Reluctant.
Perhaps no one else would notice those emotions, but to Xavier, he could see every betraying gesture and indication. He knew how she felt as well as he did his own heart.
She walked towards him with a tight smile on her face that went nowhere near her eyes – eyes that wouldn’t meet his, but focused instead on a point somewhere to his right. With every step she took, that brought her closer to him, he was aware of more signs of her despair. Fingers that shook, skin that was pale, shoulders that were impossibly tense.
But she kept walking, and at the front of the church, opposite him, she turned slowly, facing him, and he wanted to say something to make her laugh, or make her smile. Something to relax her.
But what? Which words would work? Nothing felt sufficient. And though the wedding had been his idea, in that moment, he wanted to click his fingers and make everyone else disappear. They’d been estranged for days, silent and unspeaking, and now he wanted to speak all the words in his mind and his heart. He wanted to hold her hand and rub his thumb over her palm, calming her, soothing her, until his words were poured from him.
But she was closed to him; utterly and completely. She was like a statue – a shadow of the woman he’d first met, a shadow of the woman he’d watched from a distance and felt ghosts of his past stir to life.
The cardinal began to speak, and Xavier couldn’t help but wonder if a special place in hell would be reserved for him – that he’d used his political power to have one of the highest members of the Catholic church conduct this farce of a ceremony.
Elizabeth listened with the appearance of concentration, but he wondered if she was as distracted by this as he was?
Her chin was tilted, her face pointed towards the Cardinal as he spoke. Xavier did likewise, but impatience was tearing him apart.
I, Xavier Salbatore, take you, Elizabeth Jones, to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you in times of prosperity and adversity. In healthy times, and times of sickness. I pledge here, on this day, that I will love and respect you on all the days of my life.
He repeated the words after the Cardinal, but each one landed against him like a bullet. When he’d proposed this marriage, he’d seen Elizabeth as property. Little more than something he wanted, and could acquire by manoeuvring the pieces in the proper fashion. It never occurred to him that pledging himself to her would feel as though he were gradually walking towards the edge of a cliff – with no concept of how far he would fall.
Worse, when she said the words back to him, in reverse, it was an agony. To hear the hollowness to her tone, the dutiful recreation of sounds that meant nothing. The pledging to marry him not because of love or honour, but because he’d made it impossible for her not to.
Xavier wanted to stop the world, stop the clock, stop everything.
His eyes ran over his bride’s face and his whole body felt like it was ripping itself apart. And because he’d threatened to take their son away unless she fulfilled this promise to him. Unless she played the part of his wife – even in bed.
His eyes flickered shut, his dark lashes thick on his cheeks, as he recalled in vivid detail that conversation. He’d been so furious! He’d been robbed of so much and to discover that included a son?
He had wanted to push the continents off the edge of the earth; he’d been irate.
I will take him and I will keep him until your debt is repaid.
His eyes roamed her face once more. Her debt had been more than repaid; so what kind of Shylock was he, now, insisting upon his pound of flesh? Because for days he’d known this wedding was every kind of wrong, that he had moved into the realm of pure self-interest, and yet he’d gone ahead with it regardless.
And it wasn’t about punishing her.
It wasn’t even about claiming his son.
He wanted her.
He wanted Elizabeth Jones to be his wife – and it went beyond the sexual heat that burned between them. This was a primal ache that pushed out of his gut and through his whole body. With all of himself, he needed her to be in his life.
Even if it destroyed her?
He stared at her with a sinking feeling, because it was clear that this marriage he wanted so badly was the worst thing he could do to Elizabeth. A muscle throbbed low in his jaw as he ground his teeth together.
And right when he thought about turning to the Cardinal and calling the damned thing off, she took his hand and lifted it, just so she could slide a ring onto his finger. The touch was electric and it burst his heart back into a normal rhythm. Her eyes met his, and there was such defiance in them, such a look of cold determination, a challenge that stirred something inside of him, and he knew he couldn’t do the honourable thing and let her go.
If only he was that man! If only he wanted her less…
He returned the gesture, sliding a ring onto her finger, but as soon as it was in place, she pulled her hand free, as though he’d burned her with his touch.
“You may now kiss the bride,” the Cardinal said with a benevolent smile.
Xavier’s gaze locked to hers and fire flared between them, but fire and flame were easy to surrender to. They’d done that again and again, giving agency and rational thought over to sensual needs. Instead of claiming her passionately, he curled a hand around her neck, his fingers soft on her exposed flesh and gently, as though she were made of glass, he drew her nearer, and when her lips parted, he buzzed his against them, so gentle and soft.
It was nothing. A kiss to seal the deal, rather than a promise of what lay ahead. How could he make a promise when he himself had no idea?
She pulled away, her eyes glancing to his with uncertainty in their depths, but it was for the briefest of moments, before falling away again.
“What next?” She asked, the words croaky.
Xavier’s chest heaved, because it was done, they were married, and she was asking what else he expected of her. Because she was willingly going through whichever hoop he presented in order to be able to stay in their son’s life.
His smile was sardonic, but all his mockery was self-directed. “We pretend we’re jubilantly happy and head off on our honeymoon,” he muttered, the frustration all directed at his own foolish plan – his idiot belief that marriage could be a simple act of offer and acceptance.
“No reception?”
“When we get back,” he said, trying not to think that far ahead. There was so much that gulfed between now and then.
“Fine.” And then, with a frown, as though his words had been on a delay for her: “What honeymoon?”
“Mummy so pretty.” Joshua came towards them at that moment, and Elizabeth turned away from Xavier with obvious relief, lifting their son onto her hip
Xavier’s heart squeezed in his chest for an entirely different reason now. His wife and his son. A primal sense of possession tore through him at the sight.
His family.
This was why they’d married. This was why he’d insisted on this – because they belonged together. Not just him and Elizabeth. All three of them.
They walked side by side down the aisle of the church, but he didn’t touch her. Oh, he wanted to, but he knew with every fibre of his being that his touch would be unwelcome. She was as stiff as a board, her tension palpable. And he needed to find other ways to ease that tension.
Once outside, guests showered them with confetti, as though this were a normal wedding and they were a normal, happy couple. Eleanor and Apollo joined them, from amongst the crowd.
“Take care of our Ellie,” Apollo said, the words congeniality themselves, but Xavier heard the warning undertone and his pride was invoked. The first hint of a headache speared his temple and he willed it away, determined not to be incapacitated on his wedding day. Not when so much was at stake.
“I will.” He reached for Joshua and gave the little boy a tight hug, then passed him back to Elizabeth. “Your sister is going to mind Joshua for two nights while we are away.”
“What?” Elizabeth looked at him as though he’d lost his mind. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” Xavier said heavily. He thought of the island he owned in the Mediterranean, where he’d decided they would start their married life. But suddenly, it didn’t seem right. It wasn’t right. There was another place he wanted to take her, somewhere she wouldn’t expect, somewhere as far removed from distractions and the real world as possible. He needed to be truly alone with his bride to see everything clearly: and there was only one place that afforded such privacy.
“Come here, little master,” Nell grinned, taking Josh from Elizabeth’s arms. “Congratulations.” She didn’t look at Xavier when she spoke and his stomach dropped even lower.
His wife’s sister hated him. And could he wonder at that?
“Thank you.”
A limousine was waiting, the door held open by José. His bride slid in first, looking so beautiful in that dress. He took a moment to speak to José, advising him of the change of flight plans, and then stepped into the car, taking the seat beside his reluctant, blackmailed bride.
“Where are we going?” She asked without looking at him. The words were blanked of any emotion. She sounded… desolate. Her grief set something off inside of him – a domino effect of anguish.
He wanted to ask if she was okay, but it was a foolish question. He could see, quite clearly, that she wasn’t.
“You’ll see.” He settled back in his seat and stared out of the window as London passed in a blur, wondering if this was craziness. Not the wedding – but the honeymoon. He had her where he wanted her, theoretically. But it wasn’t enough.
She was his wife – but she didn’t want to be.
The realization kept unfolding inside of him and he saw the truth in every aspect of this past month. Only two things between them made sense: Their love for Joshua, and the way they were in bed. The rest of this relationship was made up of his anger and resentment and her guilt and apologies.
It was not enough. It never would be.
The limo took the private entrance to Heathrow and his jet was waiting. She pleaded exhaustion and slept on the flight – he stared out of the window, brooding, replaying the last month and wishing, more than anything, that he could remember every single detail about Elizabeth.
It was only a short flight to Spain. His jet touched down in Valencia and one of his helicopters was waiting on the tarmac.
“Yours?” She asked, scanning the ‘Salbatore’ scrawled on the tail.
“Ours,” he confirmed with a brusque nod.
Her weak smile was a rebuke of that sentiment; he ignored it for the moment, his sole focus now was on getting Elizabeth to their destination. He guided her to the sleek white chopper, opening the passenger door and helping her in. She dropped his hand as soon as she was seated.
He ground his teeth as he came to the pilot’s side and hopped up. “Here.” He held some earphones towards her, and then donned his own pair. Before taking off, he checked her belt was properly secured, his touch clinical as he felt the tightness of the straps.
And then he pressed the dial to begin the chopper’s ascent, glad to be behind the controls – glad to be in control of one damned thing in his life.
“It’s so beautiful,” she said, the words whispered but carrying to him through the earphones they both wore.
The ocean sparkled beside them, glistening in the afternoon sunlight. It was a striking view, but he’d seen it so often, he’d become complacent.
“Yes,” he admitted, steering the chopper slightly inland. He checked his instruments and then sighed heavily.
From the periphery of his vision, he felt her jerk her attention to his face and then quickly shift it away once more.
“We’re almost there,” he said through a clenched jaw, wondering at the wisdom of kidnapping his wife to a place that was as remote and rustic as it came.
But they needed privacy, and only here could it truly be assured.