Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
GENEVIEVE
I swipe a mascara wand over my lashes, capping the tube with a click before leaning in closer to the mirror. My reflection stares back at me, a little too wide-eyed and anxious for my liking.
“It’s just Finn,” I whisper under my breath.
But tonight, it isn’t just Finn, my best friend.
It’s Finn, the man who I’m about to have sex with so I can get pregnant.
“Nervous?” Claire asks as she lounges on my bed, her analytical gaze studying me from over her phone.
“I’m fine,” I lie, forcing a smile.
“You don’t seem fine.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I reply, unsure if it’s more for me or her.
Exhaling a long breath, she stands and walks toward me, leaning against my vanity and crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“You don’t have to pretend with me. You’re about to sleep with Finn. Your best friend. I’d say that qualifies as a pretty big deal. It’s okay to feel a little conflicted about it.”
“I just… I don’t want to turn it into something it’s not. This is just a necessary prerequisite so I can have a baby. No feelings. No drama. Just sex.”
“And you’re ready for this? Crossing this line with him?”
I bite my bottom lip, my gaze dropping to the floor.
Am I ready?
That question has been echoing in my mind all day, no matter how hard I’ve tried to push it aside.
When I accepted Finn’s offer and we set our plan in motion, six days seemed like a sufficient amount of time to mentally prepare myself for this.
But those six days went by much faster than I thought they would.
I keep reminding myself why I’m doing this. As long as I keep that goal in mind, maybe I won’t be so nervous.
“I want a baby, Claire. I’ve waited long enough now, and I’m not getting any younger. Finn’s agreed to everything I need. Every rule, every condition. It’s just sex. Easy, meaningless sex.”
She gives me a skeptical look. She doesn’t need to say the words for me to know what she’s thinking. That with Finn, it would never be meaningless. Not when he’s one of the most important people in my life.
Thankfully, she doesn’t voice her concerns. Instead, she wraps me in a tight hug.
“You’re going to be an amazing mom.” She pulls back, her eyes locking with mine. “And you’re doing this for the right reasons. Don’t forget that. Okay?”
Her words ease some of the tension coiled in my chest, and I let out a shaky exhale. “Thanks, Claire.”
“Anytime.” She gives me a sincere smile before her expression turns conniving. “For the record, I still think you’re going to enjoy tonight way more than you’re willing to admit.”
I groan, swatting her arm. “Claire.”
“What?” She laughs, grabbing her bag from my bed. “Finn’s hot, and you’ve been friends for years. You two already have the kind of trust most couples dream of. If you ask me, having that level of comfort with someone makes things much more enjoyable in the bedroom.”
“This isn’t about enjoying myself in the bedroom,” I remind her, pushing down the mental image of Finn and me together. Of him hovering over me. Of his muscles rippling as he’s overcome with ecstasy. I have to suppress the whimper that wants to be set free.
“There’s no shame in enjoying yourself. Your goal may be to get pregnant, but you should also enjoy the journey, if you know what I mean.” She waggles her brows, then turns from me, heading out of my bedroom.
“Call me tomorrow,” she instructs as I follow her into the living room. “I want to hear how it went. Well, not all the details, but the general vibe.”
“Okay,” I agree as she gives me one last hug.
I watch the door shut behind her, the click echoing in the now-quiet house. Closing my eyes, I draw in a deep breath to calm my nerves.
“It’s just sex,” I whisper to myself on the exhale. “Nothing more.”
I have a feeling I’ll be reminding myself of this quite often over the coming days.
Suddenly, the doorbell rips through the space, causing my heart to skyrocket into my throat.
It’s another reminder that tonight isn’t a typical night. Finn never uses the doorbell. He usually just lets himself in.
Not tonight.
I take a slow breath, willing my pulse to settle as I step toward the door. My palms feel clammy, so I wipe them against my jeans before wrapping my fingers around the knob. Then I open the door and meet Finn’s gaze, his signature crooked smile firmly in place.
Instead of the t-shirt and shorts he typically wears, he’s in jeans and a button-down, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his forearms, his dark hair damp from a recent shower. I have no business noticing the way the fabric clings to his shoulders or how the open collar reveals a hint of tanned skin.
But I do.
And that realization sends a fresh wave of unease coursing through me.
“Hey,” he says, his voice warm and familiar, though there’s an edge to it.
“Hey.” My response comes out slightly breathless, and I clear my throat as I step aside to let him in.
As Finn moves past me, the scent of his body wash wraps around me. The space between us suddenly feels smaller, the walls of my quaint cottage closing in.
I planned this whole thing meticulously. Took nearly two weeks to accept his offer because I wanted to explore every possible angle.
But now, standing here in the same space we’ve shared countless times, I realize I didn’t plan for this . For the moment before we cross the point of no return.
“How are you?” Finn asks, breaking through the tense silence.
“Good,” I reply, my voice not sounding like my own. “You?”
“Good.” He rubs the back of his neck, the tension between us growing by the second. His gaze flickers toward mine, then away, then back again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this unsure of himself.
Instead of making this even more awkward, I decide the best way is to just rip off the proverbial bandage.
“We should probably get to business then.”
He pushes out a nervous laugh. “Wow. Okay. Direct.”
“What else are we supposed to do?” I spin and head down the hallway, each step making my heartbeat pound harder. “You’re here to get me pregnant. May as well get on with it.”
As I cross the threshold of my bedroom, I start to unbutton my jeans. But before I can lower the zipper, Finn wraps his hand around my forearm.
“Hold on a second, Genevieve.”
I dart my eyes up to meet his, a look on his face I can’t quite read.
His touch is warm, grounding, but it also sends an unexpected shiver through me.
“What’s wrong? Are you changing your mind?” I ask, half joking, half serious. “It’s okay if you are. It’s in the ground rules.”
“I’m not changing my mind. I just…” He drops his hold on me and scrubs a hand through his hair. “This feels… weird . Not because it’s you,” he adds quickly, his brows pulling together, “but because of how we’re going about it. Like some clinical transaction. I don’t know…” He sighs. “It just feels a little too Handmaid’s Tale for me.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” I plant my hands on my hips.
He steps closer, his expression softening. “Let’s go do something first. That way this will feel more…natural.”
“The whole point of tonight is to try to get me pregnant. Not hang out.”
“And we’ll get to that,” he says, his mouth twitching like he’s trying not to smile. “This just… It doesn’t feel like us.”
He’s not wrong. Going somewhere first, though? That feels dangerously close to a date.
But if it makes Finn feel more comfortable, it’s the least I can do, considering what he’s agreed to give me.
“What do you have in mind?”
“You’ll see.” He winks, and grabs my hand, his touch warm and steady as he tugs me out of my house.