Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
GENEVIEVE
This is a bad idea.
I know it is.
There are dozens — no, hundreds — of reasons I should stop this. Right now.
But none of them compare to the one reason I can’t.
Because the thought of depriving myself of this, of him , feels unbearable.
After today, after seeing Ethan and his picture-perfect wife carrying his child, I need to feel something else. Anything else. I need something to drown out the ache clawing at my chest, asking if I’ve ever been enough for anyone.
Now, with Finn’s lips pressed against mine, his body flush with mine, Ethan and his pregnant wife are the last thing on my mind. Right now, all I can think about is experiencing the incredible sensations only this man has been able to bring out of me.
“Finn,” I whimper as he peels his lips away from mine and peppers kisses along the column of my neck.
“Yes?” He slips his hands under my shirt, causing a shiver to trickle down my spine.
“What about your brother’s bowling tournament?”
He hesitates, but doesn’t immediately pull back. Eventually, he brings his eyes to mine.
“Do you honestly think that, given the choice between you and Jude’s tournament, I’d want to spend my night in an antiquated bowling alley surrounded by the smell of fried food and stale beer?”
I shrug. “I didn’t want to assume anything. And I don’t want to interfere with your plans. I?—”
“Stop,” he interjects before I can utter another word, his hand gripping my face so I can’t escape him. “If I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t be here.” He brings his lips closer. “But I have a confession to make…”
“What’s that?” My voice comes out low and rough.
“I’ll always choose you, Genevieve.” His lips brush mine, so soft, so reverent, it makes my throat tighten. “Always.”
The word burrows deep inside me, unearthing emotions I’m not ready to name. Because I know what happens when someone makes you believe in forever. I know how it feels when forever turns into a lie.
But Finn isn’t Ethan.
And right now, I don’t want to think. I don’t want to analyze what this means. Whether I’ll regret it later. Whether this will inevitably change us.
I just want to feel.
“Always,” I whisper, the word slipping past my lips before Finn crashes into me.
His kiss is hot and desperate, his tongue sweeping against mine in a seductive dance I’m powerless to resist. And I don’t want to, either.
“Red light or green light?” Finn murmurs as he slides his hand up my shirt, pausing just shy of my bra.
I hesitate. Not because I don’t want this, but because I want it too much. Want him too much.
“Red light or green light,” he repeats, ghosting his thumb over my covered nipple.
At the subtle touch, I try to swallow down the whimper begging to escape, but it’s a losing battle.
It always is with him.
“Green light,” I exhale.
“Thank fuck.”
He slams his lips back against mine in a heated kiss before pulling back and ripping my t-shirt over my head. He wastes no time in ridding himself of his shirt, then reaches behind me, unclasping my bra and tossing it to the floor.
I should feel exposed. Vulnerable.
But I don’t.
Not with the way he looks at me. Like I’m the only thing he’s ever wanted. Like he’d burn down the world for me if I asked him to.
He leans toward me, his lips brushing mine as his finger skims over my nipple.
“Finn,” I moan, consumed with the sensations flowing through me.
“What do you need?”
“More.” I pull him closer, dragging my fingers through his hair. “More of your mouth. Your teeth. Everything.”
“You got it.”
His lips move against mine as he grips my hip and steers me the few feet toward the bed before gently lowering me onto the surface. He snakes down my body, taking his time to worship every inch of me. When he reaches my breast, he pauses again, shifting his gaze to mine.
“Red light or green light?” he asks once more.
“Green,” I say without hesitation.
“Good girl.”
With a smirk, he covers my nipple with his mouth, and I release a sigh, which turns into a yelp when he gently bites on the sensitive bud. It’s painful yet exhilarating at the same time, increasing the ache that overwhelms me whenever I’m with Finn.
He trails his tongue between my breasts, his fingers teasing both nipples as he slowly travels down my torso, stopping when he reaches the waistband of my shorts. He drags his tongue along the skin by the material, his eyes drifting to meet mine again.
“Red or green light?”
“Green.” My hasty response earns me another sexy smirk.
He hooks his fingers into the waistband, and I eagerly lift my hips, allowing him to slide my shorts down my legs along with my panties.
When he returns to me, he pushes my thighs wide, his eyes dripping with lust as he takes me in.
“Red or green?” he asks again, his chest heaving as if he’s struggling to maintain his control.
I am, too.
“Green.”
The word’s barely fallen from my lips when his mouth is on me. I instantly melt into the mattress, the feel of him swirling his tongue against my clit turning my body to mush.
“God, I’ve missed this,” I exhale as I run my fingers through his hair, my confession leaving before I can stop it.
“I’ve missed this, too,” he hums against me. “Missed how amazing you taste. Missed the way you move.” He slides a finger inside me. “Missed how greedy this cunt is for me.”
“Finn,” I moan, fire heating my veins in response to the combination of his ministrations and words.
“Have you gotten yourself off since the last time we were together?” he asks, adding another finger and stretching me out even more.
“I…” I trail off, words escaping me.
He stops his motions,and I fling my wide eyes toward him, his lack of touch akin to torture.
“Tell me,” he says with a sly smirk, knowing all too well how tightly wound I am. “Give me what I need and I’ll give you what you need.”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He arches a brow.
“Yes, I’ve gotten myself off since the last time we were together.”
“While I hate I’m not the last person to make you come, the image of you getting yourself off is a fucking turn on.”
He returns his mouth to me, inserting his fingers inside me once more.
“Tell me this, Genevieve. What did you think about?”
It’s one thing to confess I’ve touched myself, and quite frequently, in the short time since we were last intimate. It’s another to admit that, every time, I replayed all the things he did to me. But even if I don’t admit it, he’ll know. He always does.
“You,” I confess. “I thought about you.”
“I’ve thought about you every time I’ve jerked off, too,” he murmurs, his rhythm growing more desperate as he completely consumes me with his mouth.
“Oh, god…”
I shouldn’t find any satisfaction over the idea that he’s jerked off while thinking of me. This is my best friend. Friends don’t think about each other like this. And they certainly don’t get themselves off to the memory of being with each other.
But that’s precisely what I’ve done.
And it sounds like Finn’s just as guilty.
“That’s it, baby. Let go. Let me feel you.”
The combination of his motions and his voice is my undoing. Any restraint I was able to hold on to is obliterated when Finn nibbles on my clit, the warring sensations pushing me over the edge.
But unlike so many other times, Finn doesn’t milk my orgasm.
He’s on his feet in a heartbeat, shoving his shorts and boxer briefs down his legs before returning to the bed and bringing his erection up to me.
“Red or green,” he pants through a tight jaw as he teases me with his arousal.
“Green. It’s all fucking green.”
My response has barely left my mouth when he thrusts into me, both of us crying out in ecstasy.
“Fucking perfect,” Finn declares, not moving, savoring in the sensation of fullness after too long without it.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I cling to him, never wanting to let go. Never wanting to leave this place. This moment. This feeling of completeness.
“I’ve missed this, too,” I murmur, taking his earlobe between my teeth. “So damn much.”
“So damn much,” he repeats as he starts to move.
His lips cover mine, his tongue exploring my mouth as he sensually rocks his hips against me, drawing out every tiny little sensation. Every tremor. Every ripple. Every gasp.
Nothing’s ever felt so damn right, yet so damn confusing at the same time.
But I refuse to worry about that. I can’t. Not when I’ve never felt anything as incredible as Finn’s body moving in time with me, pushing me higher and higher until I can no longer fight it and fall over the edge with him.