Theo’s House, Seventh Grade
THEO’S HOUSE, SEVENTH GRADE
Evie
“You’re off, Theodore.”
Theo’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “I really don’t think—”
Evie restarts the song, Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida,” her index finger smashing against the play button on his boom box with more force than necessary because she doesn’t want to talk to him right now. She doesn’t want to be here, with him, around him, at all. Nope! But if she didn’t spend this Sunday rehearsing with Theo, like every other Sunday since fourth grade, she’d need to offer an explanation she isn’t willing to give. An explanation she’s not sure she even understands. Every time they make eye contact in the hallway and he looks the other way, it literally feels like her guts are being ripped out of her stomach. Theo is supposed to be her safe space. He’s the only person who knows the truth about her living situation. Evie tells everyone that she’s been staying with her grandparents because her mom has “a gig in New York.” In reality, she has no clue where her mother is. It’s been six months since Naomi took a beat. Six months since Evie has slept through the night. Imogen kicks her in the shin in her sleep because, even though they have their own rooms in the bungalow, her sister cannot—will not—sleep alone. Unconscious Imogen wraps her limbs around Evie, as if she’s terrified that if she doesn’t hold on tight, her sister will leave her, too. How can a person, a mom , claim to love them… then leave them so easily? Evie has a perma-bruise on her left shin. That is love. Staying is love.
She thought Naomi loved her.
She thought Theo loved her.
Now, in his backyard, when it’s just them, she can almost believe it. When they’re alone, Theo is himself. At school? He’s someone small, someone who follows Connor and Matt and the Four Square Jerks around like they walk on water.
It’s so frustrating.
Theo abandoning her again and again and again.
He executes the combination of taps with precision.
Still, Evie cuts the music. “Again.”
Theo exhales, pushing his curls off his forehead. “Okay. I know I got it that time—”
She presses play, then joins him on the bamboo tap mat covering a section of the deck. Her back to him, Evie channels her annoyance, hurt, rage into the choreography, articulating every step and launching into a double pirouette with way too much momentum, crashing into Theo.
They both go down.
She lands on top of him, her heart smashing into his.
He looks up at her. “Are we okay?”
Her smile is sour. “Great.”
She rolls away from him, pulling her knees into her chest and wrapping her arms around them to recalibrate, to focus on her breathing like Grandpa Mo taught her after her first panic attack, to not cry . It’s their first year of middle school, the first year they’ve attended the same school. Evie was so excited. It’s so stupid. It’s not like she even needs Theo. Evie has friends. Caro, Gracie, and Iris at dance. Lola, Jamie, and the Allisons at school. But Theo is her best friend. Or so she thought. Maybe she’s wrong. Maybe they’ve always just been dance friends.
Ugh.
It’s all so embarrassing.
“I think we’re off, Evelyn.”
“ Evie ,” she snaps, digging her nails into her kneecaps.
He frowns.
Then scoots a few inches closer. “What’s wrong?”
Seriously?
“You’re kind of a butt, Theodore.”
“Me? I know the combination. You keep making me start over for no reason .”
Evie’s nostrils flare, her stomach twisting and cramping. She winces, tears prickling her lash line that have nothing to do with Theo Cohen being a massive butt and everything to do with her period. Maybe. Probably. She doesn’t keep track, even though her grandmother bought her a small appointment calendar and a pad of stickers for that very purpose. She tried for a few months but doesn’t see the point.
It’s always a surprise.
Everything that hurts is always a surprise.
Period cramps.
Naomi.
Theo.
“ Ev .” Theo’s eyes widen with concern, cutting her name at the first safe syllable. “Talk to me.”
“You’re my best friend,” she admits.
“You’re mine.”
“I’m not . At school… you act like I don’t exist.”
Theo’s cheeks redden. “I just—Connor and Matt suck , okay?”
“If Connor and Matt aren’t evolved enough to know that people of different genders can be friends, how is that our problem?”
“I don’t want them to, like, harass you.”
“How noble of you, Theodore.”
“I’m serious! Unless you, like, want everyone to think we’re dating, we can’t be school friends.”
Evie laughs. “So what if people think we’re dating?”
“We’re not.”
“Right. But why do you care if they think that? Why do you care so much about what the Four Square Jerks think at all?”
“The Four Square Jerks?”
“Matt and Connor’s crew.”
“Am I a Four Square Jerk?”
“Lately!” Evie stands, so over this conversation. “Can we just run the routine again from the first chorus so I can go home?”
She flinches.
It’s the third time she’s referred to the bungalow as home .
She presses play.
“I’m sorry,” Theo says, standing and moving toward her, then pausing the music. “I don’t want to be a Four Square Jerk. It’s just… Connor and Matt made sixth grade suck so bad and they leave me alone now . School is easier, pretending to be friends with them.”
Evie softens.
She knows Theo has been bullied because he’s a boy who loves to dance.
“You’re my best friend,” she repeats. “But I want to be school friends, too.”
Theo’s quiet as she removes her tap shoes and packs up, so ready to call her grandmother and ask to be picked up early. So hoping Theo will ask her to stay. She wants him to choose her over the Four Square Jerks. But she doesn’t want him to be bullied by the Four Square Jerks because his best friend is a girl.
Also?
It bothers her, Theo seeming weirded out by the idea of them dating. Why is this bothering her? Does she want to be more than Theo’s best friend? She doesn’t think she likes Theo like that. But how does she know? He’s her favorite person. Maybe that means they’re supposed to be more than friends? She isn’t sure. It’s all so confusing. She loves Theo. But does she want to kiss him? She’s thought about it. Has he thought about kissing her ?
Now she can’t stop thinking about it.
One step away from her dramatic exit, she pivots. “Maybe I want to be more than friends.”
“What?”
Evie’s cheeks are on fire, but she doubles down. “I don’t know. If people at school are going to assume either way… we might as well figure it out ourselves? I mean. Think about it. Like. If we were to, say, I don’t know, kiss, we’ll know for sure that we’re supposed to be just friends instead of, like, wondering—”
“You wonder ?”
Evie shrugs. “Don’t act like you don’t . It’s not a big deal.”
She isn’t sure how their fight devolved from calling Theo a Four Square Jerk to an admission that she’s thought about kissing him… but whatever! Evie’s here now. Her eyes meet his. They’re the same height. His cheeks are on fire. Evie knew it. Theo has wondered, too.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“Me either,” Evie admits. “Can I?”
Theo nods, so she leans in and presses her mouth to his, against lips that are somehow, impossibly, both dry and wet. Neither move. Or breathe. She’s kissing Theo. This is kissing? Huh. It’s weird , she decides. Kissing is weird. Kissing Theo? Super weird.
But maybe… not bad weird?
She pulls away.
Theo’s expression is undecipherable. “That was—”
“Weird.”
“Weird,” Theo repeats, cheeks still pink.
She can’t decipher his expression, if this kiss was good weird or bad weird or just weird weird. Embarrassment slams against Evie’s diaphragm. She’s so full of it. Of course she needs Theo. As a friend. Naomi left and he knows why and the last thing she wants is for there to be any variety of weird between the two of them.
“Want to run it again?” she asks, deflecting.
“Sure.”
Relieved, Evie reties her tap shoes, then together they run through the tap routine once more, not missing a single step, completely in sync. Afterward, she turns toward him because she can’t let it go without asking, without confirming.
“Just friends?”
Theo nods. “Definitely just friends.”
Evie throws her arms around him and buries her face into the crook of his neck, so ready to bury the weirdness of that kiss and so relieved to have her best friend back.