Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
I woke up to Nico lavishing my skin with sloppy, wet kisses.
At first, I thought it was a dream, and I didn’t want to wake up.
Then, when I realized the wet sloppy kisses from Nico’s mouth were my reality, I came fully awake.
Furthermore, when he leisurely scaled down the length of my body, I almost died.
Instead, I reached maximum mindless bliss with embarrassing speed and intensity; I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep from yodeling his praises to the walls and the inhabitants beyond.
I felt boneless. I couldn’t seem to move my limbs with any coordination. But before I could form a complete thought, Nico apparently decided that once was not enough, and this time he was going to come along for the rodeo.
Again, I had to turn my head into the pillow to keep from waking up the entire floor of the building.
Afterward, he lay on top of me with unsteady limbs, wrapped his arms around my torso, and held me pinned. He nearly crushed me with his weight. I loved it. I loved him. I loved waking up in his arms.
It was like Christmas and Easter and my birthday and winning the lottery and learning that I could live inside a rainbow without the tradeoff of being a leprechaun. My mind was blown. This was real. He was real.
When our breathing normalized from approximately six minutes of lovemaking, Nico nuzzled my ear and whispered, “Good morning.”
I smiled, pressed my cheek against his. “Yes. Good morning indeed.”
He shifted to the side, one arm still around me, the other hand petting my skin. “Will you stay with me every night?”
I nodded. “If you wake me up like that every morning.”
“Deal. We should shake on it, maybe get some papers drawn up in front of some lawyers, have a notary sign…maybe a priest….”
I laughed lightly. But, then, when I noticed his expression was serious, I immediately sobered. “Nico.”
“Elizabeth.”
“What…what are you saying?” I was having a hard time concentrating as his big hand was currently meandering over my body in all the right places.
“You should think about it.”
“Think about what?”
I watched as he hesitated then swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I don’t want to rush you.”
My eyebrows lifted. I stilled his hand on my chest. “Rush me how?”
“I want us to be together.”
“We are together.”
“No, I mean….” He sucked in a large breath and released it. He smelled like me and mint toothpaste. “I mean, I want us to make it official. I want us to get married.”
Then time stopped or sped up or did something.
One minute I was lying in Nico’s arms, having a conversation, and the next minute I was out of the bed locked in the bathroom, alone.
I didn’t know how long I’d been standing in front of the sink with the water running.
All I knew was I hadn’t responded to Nico’s statement. In fact, I hadn’t said anything at all.
My mind couldn’t seem to settle on one thought for any length of time; it was like being showered in fortune cookie slips and trying to read them all at once.
I shut off the faucet, apparently having brushed my teeth at some point, and turned on the shower.
When the shower was over, I must have dried myself off and gotten dressed, because I was suddenly sitting on the edge of Nico’s bed in my scrubs, shoes, and socks.
“Elizabeth?”
I started, searched for the owner of the voice. It was Nico. He hovered in the doorway to his room. He wasn’t smiling.
“Are you ok?”
I nodded. But I knew my eyes—wide and alarmed—betrayed me.
He watched me for a moment then sighed, slowly crossed to the bed, and sat beside me. “Look. Forget I said anything. Call it temporary insanity.”
“Ok.”
His eyes narrowed a little as they searched mine; I was struck suddenly that he was looking for something.
I didn’t know what it was or how to give it to him, so I just met his gaze and allowed him to stare.
After a long moment, he gripped my braid at the back of my head and pulled me forward, his lips pressed against my forehead.
“I’m sorry. Can we forget I said anything?”
I nodded again. “Ok.” If I was confused before, now I was downright muddled.
His arms slipped around me, and he dipped me back to the bed and held me tightly as he kissed me. It was a nice kiss that quickly turned into a very nice kiss. Then it drove right past extremely nice kiss into the land of smokin’ hot kiss.
Before things could escalate, he pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth and pulled away; he held me at arm’s length and studied me.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes. I’m just…I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed. Maybe a bit confused.”
He grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. Please.” I moved my palm to cup his face, and he leaned against it, closed his eyes. “Just…give me a minute to find my bearings, ok?”
He swallowed again, his eyes still closed. “I think I can do that.”
“I need to play some catch-up.”
“I’ll wait as long as you need.” His voice was gruff. It broke my heart. His eyes were still closed.
I couldn’t think of anything to say. There was no way to segue this conversation into something benign without feeling false and fake. Instead, I pulled him to me, hugged him, and held him until I left him.
The fact that I’d spent the night wasn’t awkward, because Rose pretended as if I hadn’t spent the night.
So, in other words, it was extremely awkward.
She smiled at me in a very foxlike way, asked about my plans for the weekend, and generally grinned and gloated into her coffee. No verbal mention of the fact that I’d slept over—just knowing looks and approving smiles.
I was unnerved.
Regardless, Angelica’s morning treatment was seamless until she motioned for me to come closer with her little index finger. I bent so that she could whisper something to me.
She said, “Are you my best friend?”
I leaned back, looked into her twinkling green eyes, and choked on my feelings. First Nico, now Angelica. It seemed as if they’d planned it, this emotional attack on the fortress around my heart. Even though I couldn’t answer Nico, not yet, I instantly knew how to respond to Angelica.
“Yes. I’m your best friend. We’re best friends.” I smiled at her, and my chin wobbled.
This family was going to be the death of me. I decided I needed to knit her more sweaters, maybe some matching hats, as well as some dolls. I resolved to buy her a dollhouse…and a real pony. Basically, all my future plans included spoiling her rotten.
Her smile was brilliant, and it wrinkled her nose. The fortress was officially leveled, burned to the ground, incinerated by a four-year-old.
She was also holding up like a champ. A sudden sadness seized my heart. Angelica’s fearlessness and lack of concern about needles and infusions and poking and prodding was unacceptable. No four-year-old should be comfortable in an infusion chair.
After the treatment was over, Rose offered me coffee and apple fritters.
I declined. My shift officially started at eight, but I wanted to get to the hospital early to finish up charting and have some time with my thoughts.
I needed to seriously consider the possibility of Nico’s pseudo marriage proposal.
I hadn’t dismissed it. I found myself earnestly thinking about it, and I was coming up short on reasons to say no.
I found Nico reading the paper in the dining room, and I wordlessly kissed him goodbye. He smiled at me when I left. His eyes were cloudy, but warm with unassuming affection. For a fleeting moment I almost said Yes, you sweet, sexy man. Yes, I will marry you.
But then naysaying sense and fear gripped my throat. I couldn’t speak. So instead, I tried to return his smile with a bright one of my own.
My ride to work was unremarkable. I fretted in the back seat.
Dan, my guard, didn’t have any problem finding a door free of paparazzi.
It appeared that the attention was finally starting to wane.
We made a plan to meet outside the doctor’s lounge in the ER.
He dropped me off and left to find parking.
I walked to my locker, encumbered only by my thoughts.
Marry Nico.
Elizabeth Finney and Nico Manganiello, married.
The entire concept felt surreal. In fact, everything that had occurred over the last half day felt impossible. I still couldn’t even pronounce his last name correctly.
We’d just found each other, and it felt like he was slipping away. I wondered if this was the thing that would take him away from me. Like the thing that took him away from girl B. He said he had always loved me, but he loved her too.
I knew I was being melodramatic and self-defeating, irritating myself with doomish, obsessive thoughts, but I couldn’t help it. I had an ingrained bitterness, a defense against happiness and the eventual hurt that followed.
Maybe my hesitation would cause him to realize that my earlier protestations had been correct—that he’d been in love with an idea of me and not the current, broken, pathetic, real version of me.
I avoided this vein of thought—again avoiding—and cursed at myself for being a feckless, thankless, hopeless, exasperating twit.
Mid-curse I opened my locker to grab my lab coat, but then I stopped, gasped, and backed up into the bench running the length of the room.
I nearly fell over it in my attempt to escape the contents of my locker.
My lab coat hung from its hanger, just as I’d left it, except someone had taken a knife and sliced it until it shredded.
Additionally, my knitting project bag—which contained the baby hat that was in progress—had also been destroyed.
I averted my eyes from the tattered white coat and yarn and glanced around the room.
I wasn’t alone. I didn’t immediately see anyone else, but I knew I wasn’t alone.