Chapter 5
FIVE
It was really very simple. If I stayed and got a job working as a manual laborer, or a cashier, or learned a skill like being a barista, I would no longer be the man Dr. Cyrus Benning found so alluring.
I was a bull rider and, barring that, a cowboy.
It was not romantic in real life, but to some people, it was.
Cy fell into that category. If I stuck around, I would lose my luster, and he would tire of me.
And yes, his family said I brought out the best in the man, which was amazing to hear, but perhaps that was because when I visited him, all he was—except on the rare occasions we argued—was happy.
Being there all the time would change our dynamic.
Like him saying he could move to the middle of nowhere.
That was crazy. He’d be bored, climbing the walls in weeks.
The man was a neurosurgeon, not a country doctor.
If he left his life to follow me, he would hate me for what I let him give up—his reputation, his network of colleagues and friends, the amenities his life afforded him.
While I appreciated his willingness to sacrifice all that so we could be together, it was a fantasy.
In real life, he passionately loved his career, and to take that away from him would be insane.
Even more importantly, his family was here. Following me meant giving up the people who loved him most in the world. And especially now, when Lyn had just lost her husband and the boys their father, Cy was the man they would be leaning on.
As I drove toward the hospital on Monday morning, I told myself for the millionth time that I would leave when it was time, and hopefully, once I was settled, Cy would come and see me if he had not, in the meantime, replaced me.
The thing was, though, a man like him, the pick of the litter, expecting him to remain unclaimed was just plain stupid.
But I could not, for the life of me, imagine a scenario where I could have him and still be me.
And if I wasn’t me, the guy he loved, then what was the point?
I would do anything for him, risk anything for him in a heartbeat, but having no purpose, no job, nothing to do was not a solution.
Everyone needed purpose, and if I didn’t have one, what did I have to offer the man I loved?
After we parked in the garage, I led the three little boys to the information desk and asked where surgery was. We rode the elevator up five floors, found the nurses’ station, and I asked if they could page Dr. Benning.
“Do you have a family member that’s a patient here?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Are you being admitted?”
“Oh no.” I smiled at her. “Dr. Benning just left his laptop at home and asked me to run it on over here right quick.”
She was a very attractive woman, and the sudden smile she gave me made her dimples pop as she flashed me rows of perfect, white, even teeth. “I see.”
I waited.
She studied me.
“Ma’am?”
“And the boys belong to…?”
“His sister,” I answered, though it was a weird question.
“He has a sister.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She nodded. “Could you have a seat right there in those chairs, and I will page him.”
“Thank you.” I herded the kids with me.
Micah and Tristan each had a Switch, and Pip had something chunkier, with a camera built into it. He already had lots of pictures of rocks, tires, clouds, and a blurry one of me.
As we sat there, I couldn’t help but notice that the nurses’ station was beginning to draw a crowd. Lots of scrubs, lots of white coats, and even one guy in a suit.
“Uncle Cy!” Pip shrieked, leaping off the seat beside me, streaking around the chairs, and charging across the floor to him.
Cy bent and caught the little boy easily, kissing him and patting his back as chubby little arms were wrapped around his neck.
I got up, Tristan and Micah trailing me, and met him halfway.
“Sorry it took me so long to get down here,” I apologized quickly. “But the traffic in this city is no joke.”
“I am aware,” he agreed, smiling at me, his eyes warm and soft.
“Now, we know you’re busy, so we’re gonna get outta your hair,” I assured him, holding up his worn leather bag. “And for the record, I like this.”
“What’s that?” he asked, fiddling with the collar of my dress shirt under the sweater I was wearing.
“This bag. It’s nice. It reminds me of a briefcase my grandfather had when I was a little boy.”
“Well, there you go. They said it was vintage when I bought it.”
I sighed, staring at him.
He took a breath and stepped closer, his hand sliding around the back of my neck. “So, I have a fundraiser to go to tonight I completely blanked on. You want to meet me here and go with me?”
“You didn’t forget. You told me you had an event to go to while I was here.”
“No, that’s the annual Christmas party, and there are a few others as well, but this one never even made it into my calendar.”
“I see.”
“So?”
I squinted at him.
“I want you to go with me.”
“Oh, hell no, Doc. You can go stag, and I’ll wait up for ya.”
“I would prefer if you came with me.”
I grinned evilly. “Not if ya paid me.”
“Please, Web.”
The eyebrow waggle I gave him made him curse under his breath. His eyes narrowed, and I snickered. “You’re just—”
“Get home soon as you can. Me and the boys are makin’ stroganoff for dinner for their mama, and we thought for you as well.”
“Oh, that sounds so good. Save me some, all right?”
“We’ll try. Now put that boy down. We gotta go.”
“No, stay and have lunch with me.”
I scoffed. “We ain’t eatin’ no hospital food. We’re goin’ to the wharf to get us some clam chowder in sourdough bread bowls before Micah’s appointment with his shrink.”
He made a face. “Kids don’t eat clam chowder.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Yeah, I’ll bet.”
“Whatcha wanna bet?”
He smiled slowly, shaking his head. “I’m not going to bet you. Just…they won’t eat it.”
I shrugged. “Put your money where your mouth is.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, putting Pip down before he leaned in close, hand on my chest. “I have this fundraiser tonight, but when I get home, if they ate, my ass is yours. If they didn’t, yours belongs to me.”
I scoffed. “Oh, you’re so under me the second you walk in the door.”
His breath caught then, and our eyes locked together like they did sometimes. I could stare at the man for the rest of my life, and he seemed of the same mind.
“Dr. Benning?”
It took a moment, but then he turned to the man calling him—also a doctor, going by the white coat, but whereas my doctor was wearing green scrubs under his, this man had on a dress shirt, tie, and slacks.
“Could I get an introduction?”
Cy seemed confused, and when two other men and four women were suddenly there, all in white coats, clustered around us, he started scowling.
I felt bad. I didn’t want to embarrass him. That had not been my intention.
“We should go,” I said quickly, turning to the boys.
“No,” he rushed out, arm sliding around my waist, anchoring me there, holding on. “Weber, this is our chief of surgery, Dr. Harold Swan. Chief, this is my boyfriend, Weber Yates.”
I didn’t swallow my tongue, which was really impressive. When I looked at Cy, the lift of his eyebrows, the steadiness of his gaze, all of it dared me to contradict him, correct him, anything… there was no way. He’d said it. I let it lie.
“Weber.” The chief smiled at me, and it was not a little smile. It was huge. He was much more than simply pleased to meet me. He was stupidly happy. “Very good to meet you. It’s such a pleasure.”
I shook the man’s hand as Cy’s pressed into the small of my back.
There were a lot of people then, meeting me, meeting the kids, asking questions, all of them looking at me like I was some amazing new species of animal at the zoo.
When it was time for us to leave, when the chief ordered everyone back to work, they all said again how nice it was that I had come by.
The man in the suit I’d initially seen next to the nurses’ station walked up then—Donovan Allen, one of the hospital administrators and board member, and surprisingly, he too was thrilled to make my acquaintance.
“What the hell?” I asked Cy afterward as he took hold of my hand with his right and Pip’s with his left and led us toward the elevators.
He was laughing.
“Your boyfriend?”
“That’s what you are,” he assured me. “We’re more than friends, but you don’t live with me, so you’re not my partner. But if I see an opening, if you give me even a sliver of a chance, I’m keeping you. That to me, says boyfriend.”
I scowled.
“Lover would have been better?”
“Aw, hell no.”
“Well, then.”
“They were like vultures.”
He chuckled. “I’m a very private man, Web. They all know I’m gay, but I would never, could never, date anyone at this hospital or associated with this hospital, and since they’re a big incestuous mess, they don’t understand.”
I nodded. “Don’t shit where you eat. I get it.”
He grunted. “They don’t. And I don’t bring dates here.
No one comes to pick me up. They see my picture in the newspaper on the society page or in the ‘About Town’ section or such.
They see me at fundraisers, like the one I’ll be at tonight, but they don’t see my family or meet the man I sleep with, ever.
I don’t share my personal life. I never have. ”
“Don’t you have friends here?”
“I have colleagues. Most of my good friends, who are doctors, have private practices.”
“Okay.”
“But my best friends aren’t doctors.”
“They’re the guys who came along with you on the trip to Texas, huh?”
“Yes.”
I had to think. “There was a lawyer, and the real estate guy.”
“He’s a land developer, and yes.”
“Do you still see them?”
“Yes. We’re supposed to take a trip to Cancun in February.”
I smiled. “I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”
“I’d rather stay home,” he said, eyes softening.
“I won’t be here.”
“You never know.”
But I did.