From A-Z (Castro #2)

Prologue

February 23, 2006

Sitting amongst her family and friends, Amy Calvert did her best to drink in everything. Her brothers, all six of them were engaged in various antics with several girls. The Calvert boys were flirts, everyone knew that! Looking over to her father, Robert, Amy could see he was chatting with Jenny Slattery. Inside she winced. Their mother had been dead for a year. Was he really ready to move on already? It didn’t matter. After tonight nothing would matter, because she’d be gone, and she was betting every last dime of her savings that she’d never be welcome here again. The thought made her sad.

She glanced at the pictures on the walls of her and her brothers throughout the years. A picture from when she was six. There were her five brothers’ faces smiling back at her, the twins Bobby and Carl, Danny and Eric, and Frankie but George hadn’t been born yet. All of them grouped in their Navy shirts that Dad had gotten them. Amy smiled; they’d been playing battleship with their bikes in the street in front of the house. Mom had found it endearing that the five of them loved playing together so much. Amy remembered those carefree days with affection. She remembered when the boys would strip off their shirts because of the late summer heat in Lewiston, New York and she would do the same. No one said anything, she was a little girl, no one cared then. Nobody noticed that she wanted her hair short, like the boys had theirs. Of course, her cut was a ‘cute little pixie cut’ but it looked the same as the boys’ hair. Amy didn’t know the difference. She never knew what a ‘tomboy’ was, but she knew she could climb trees better than any of the boys and she could hit any baseball thrown toward her in a game.

She’d played, ran, rode bikes, swam in the river down the street from their house, most of the time without a shirt on, other times with a T-shirt with the arms cut off just like her brothers. And then it all changed…When she was just about to turn twelve, she noticed she was starting to ache in her chest area. She complained to her mother about it. Suddenly, her mother, Jean Calvert, who had always encouraged her to have fun and live life her way, was wary. That same night there was a hushed conversation with Robert, and the next day Amy and her mother went to the Kmart in town. Her mother made her try on bras, and then there was ‘the talk.’ It wasn’t a talk about sex, it was a discussion about ‘becoming a woman’ and no longer being a ‘child.’

It scared the living hell out of Amy! It was the strangest day ever.

The next day, Amy and the boys were set to play a game of baseball against the kids down the street. She took extra time that morning to oil her baseball glove, to ensure it was ready for the game where she had every intent

ion of clobbering the other team. When she heard her mom call to her that breakfast was ready, she rushed downstairs in her usual jean shorts and T-shirt. Sitting down at the table, she dug into the pancakes and bacon. It took her by surprise that her mother had made so few, clearly the boys were gonna starve! Too bad, they were slow to come down to breakfast, she was going to eat up while she had the chance. She was surprised when her mother sat down at the table, wiping her hands on her apron. Her mother perched primly with her legs crossed and smoothed out her apron. Jean had watched her daughter eat, and made a mental note to talk to her about eating more delicately, like a lady.

“Where are the boys?” Amy mumbled through a mouthful of food, as she glanced around wondering why it was taking them so long to come to breakfast. Usually, they were ravenous beasts first thing.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, ladybug,” Jean admonished. “And your brothers have already left the house.”

“What!” Amy exclaimed as she stood up, stuffing the last few bites in her mouth, even as she reached for her glove laying on the chair next to her. “I gotta go, Mom!” she practically shouted.

Jean’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Honey, you can’t play with the boys like that anymore,” Jean told her calmy, her voice soft.

“What?” Amy was dumbfounded. “Why not?”

Jean shifted in her seat, giving Amy a ‘we have had this conversation’ stare.

“Amy Jean, you are becoming a woman, and women do not play with boys like that…wearing this.” Jean gestured to the armless T-shirt and jean shorts, surveying the beat-up tennis shoes Amy wore without socks. “Where is the pretty little bra we bought you?” she added.

Amy looked back at her mother, then looked down at the table, banging her feet together underneath it in agitation. “It is in the bag in my closet,” she answered dispassionately. “It’s itchy!” She shrugged in annoyance, slouching down in her chair.

“Well, you’re going to find that sometimes being a lady is a bit uncomfortable.” Jean sighed, having no idea that what she was saying was so alarming to her daughter.

“Then I don’t wanna be one!” Amy exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running out of the room. Her legs pumped as she ran back upstairs to her bedroom, slamming the door and throwing her baseball mitt across the room.

It was just the beginning, and ‘uncomfortable’ didn’t even begin to describe the following years. Being banned from playing with the boys was just the tip of the iceberg of womanhood. Dresses, with frilly socks, and patent leather Mary Janes, and that abominable itchy bra, and ‘pretty’ panties! Some days she refused to leave her room because she absolutely hated her new clothes.

One day she ventured out of her room, hearing that the television was on downstairs. She made her way down and watched the old musical on TV. Her mother was taking one of her rare breaks from housework, and was watching Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire dancing in what she’d later find out was Swing Time. She was fascinated by the steps, and also by the costumes the characters wore. When her mother noticed her standing in the doorway, she motioned for her to come and join her. They spent a nice afternoon watching the musical and it was in this moment Amy discovered her fascination for old movies, and a love for them was born.

It was through her mother she discovered musicals like Shall We Dance, Singing in the Rain, The Gay Divorcee, and Ginger Rogers…

One weekend, her father was watching old war movies, and she got her first glimpse at Casablanca and not only Humphrey Bogart, but Ingrid Bergman! Suddenly, she couldn’t get enough of old movies and rented every single one she could find from the local video store. She would watch them over and over again. It was her escape, and little did she know, she was falling in love.

She fell in love with the actions of the characters, like Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind, Rick Blaine from Casablanca and Captain Mallory from the Guns of Navarone. What she didn’t realize was that she was also captivated with the leading ladies. Vivien Leigh, Ginger Rogers, and Rita Hayworth all drew her in. She was fascinated by the language and the gentility, the gallant actions of the men, and their simple black-and-white thinking.

Not long after that first year into puberty, Amy figured out that she wanted to best the boys at everything, including getting the girl. Not that she was able to do anything about that outwardly, of course. Being the daughter of a retired Navy man, even if he’d only been a clerk by the time he retired, there was no way her father would accept his daughter being anything other than the picture of a little lady. So, she faked it, up until her eighteenth birthday.

Amy peered over at her father and brothers, happily eating cake; she knew she was going to break their hearts the very next morning. Her family had no idea that the very next day she’d gone down to the Naval recruiting office and signed up. She had marveled at her luck as she was told she would be shipped out to boot camp later that week.

As she brushed her long dark blonde hair back with one hand, she reached into the pocket of the sweater she wore over her dress with her other hand. She touched the envelope concealed there, knowing she was chickening out by leaving them a note, but she couldn’t face them, she just couldn’t. She wanted to tell them her other secret, but she had a feeling that her father would let the military know that shed admitted to being gay. ‘With Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ in place, she knew she couldn’t take that chance.

The note read: You’ll be surprised to know that yesterday I joined the Navy. I leave for boot camp on Friday. I love you all, but I need to be on my own. Amy.

It was a new beginning.

***

April 3, 2023

The first thing Jaims noticed as Raquel came up the jet way was that her friend looked gaunt, tired, and her eyes were a bit glassy. Jaims smiled and walked to meet her, reaching out to hug her.

“It’s good to see you,” Jaims said smiling as she hugged Raquel.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get all mushy and stuff,” Raquel said gruffly, shoving Jaims back slightly with a grin.

“I see your personality wasn’t affected,” Jaims said, grinning even as she turned to lead Raquel toward the baggage claim. “Still an ass.”

“Fuck you,” Raquel replied, a standard comment from her.

“Not today,” Jaims shot back.

It was something they always said to each other. Jaims was marveling at the fact that three months after being shot in the head and almost dying, Raquel was back to her old self and finally home!

On the drive back to their apartment, Raquel looked over at Jaims. “So did you take care of that stuff I asked you to?”

Jaims rolled her eyes. “Yes, I did the entire list.”

“Including getting my Jeep tuned?” Raquel asked, arching an eyebrow at her friend and roommate.

“I said the entire list, Rock, sheesh!”

Raquel nodded, looking satisfied with that answer. Jaims just shook her head, her roommate could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

It was another couple of minutes and lots of traffic later when Raquel spoke up again.

“You haven’t been letting anyone sleep in my bed, have you?”

Jaims laughed. “Well, actually we’ve been having orgies in there, but don’t worry I changed the sheets…”

“Asshole,” Raquel replied simply.

“Jerk.”

Jaims’ phone began ringing then and she answered it on the hands free, grimacing as she did, and seeing that it was Zion.

“Hey Z, what’s up?” Jaims asked, trying to sound unconcerned.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a long moment, prompting Jaims to query. “Z?”

“Yeah, hey,” Zion said, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Jaims grimaced again. “You okay, Z?”

“I…yeah…” Zion stammered. “I guess I just…Where are you?”

Jaims glanced over at Raquel and saw that she was practically glowering.

“I just picked Rock up from the airport.”

Again there was silence for a long moment. “That was to-day?”

“Yeah, Z, that was today. Look, do you want me to come by after I get Rock settled?”

“Nah, nah, it’s okay,” Zion answered far too quickly.

“Okay I’m gonna come by,” Jaims replied, as if Zion hadn’t just said no.

“Okay,” Zion said simply.

A few moments later they hung up.

“What’s up with that?” Raquel asked, her tone snide.

“Fancy’s back in town, you know how it is,” Jaims re-plied, surprised by Raquel’s tone.

“So why ain’t she callin’ D?”

“Because D’s out of town for a bit, so I’m kinda helpin’ out,” Jaims said, hoping that would be the end of it.

“So what, you’re like Z’s best friend now?” Raquel snapped, sounding really irritated by the idea.

Jaims forced herself to take a deep breath and blow it out to calm her annoyance at Raquel’s attitude.

“No,” she said calmly. “Like I said, I’m just helping out. You know how Z gets when Fancy’s around.”

Raquel’s lips twitch, and Jaims could tell she wanted to say something else, but she obviously thought better of it and changed the subject.

“So how many girls do you have on the line these days?” Raquel asked, her voice overly bright as if to make up for her previous antagonistic tone.

Jaims grinned. “Some.”

“Uh-huh,” Raquel murmured, her own grin starting. “Which means at least ten.”

Jaims laughed out loud at that, shaking her head. “Nah, I’m just having fun at this point.”

“You say fun, I say whoring…” Raquel intoned.

Jaims chuckled again, shaking her head. “Not that bad, geeze!”

They were both silent for a bit. Jaims’ music was on and her fingers were tapping to her usual club music.

“Still listen to this shit, huh?” Raquel asked, grinning.

“Yep,” Jaims replied, knowing Raquel was trying to get things back on an even keel.

“So where’s D?” Raquel asked then, keeping her tone light.

“In Sacramento right now.”

“What the fuck for?” Raquel asked, sounding disgusted by the very notion.

“Well, her new girlfriend got a contract there, so D’s flying with a Cal Fire team there.”

“New girlfriend, huh? Already?”

“Yep, hotter than hell and smart too.”

“TJ been strung up yet?” Raquel asked, her tone darkening. Jaims had told her about TJ’s betrayal.

Jaims blew her breath out in a snort. “Nah, you know D, she just moved on.”

Raquel curled her lips in annoyance. “Yeah, she’s better at that kind of thing than I’d be. I would have taken TJ’s fucking head off.”

Jaims grinned. “Yeah, we wanted to, trust me.”

“How’s everyone else?”

“BB’s dad had a heart attack, but he’s okay now. The good thing was that BB went home and actually made nice with her family for a bit.”

“She shouldn’t have had to,” Raquel said her tone annoyed again.

“No, but it is what it is,” Jaims said, not wanting to argue with Raquel. She knew it always pissed Raquel off when a family wasn’t supportive of their child’s life choices. “BB does have a girlfriend now though,” she added, hoping to divert Raquel onto better topics.

“How’d that happen? BB trip over the girl or something?” Raquel asked, knowing that Jayden was extremely shy.

Jaims chuckled. “Actually I introduced them. The girl works in the same department as me.”

“Is she ugly?”

“No, she’s a cute little blonde.”

“And why didn’t you go after her?” Raquel asked, an odd light in her eyes.

Jaims shrugged. “I like her, don’t get me wrong, but she and BB hit it off so well that I figured the kid could use a shot at it, and she’s done pretty good for herself.”

Raquel gave Jaims a sidelong look. “You’re givin’ up women to help the kid out now?”

“It’s not like that,” Jaims said, rolling her eyes. “It worked out good. Better not to date people you work with anyway. Right?”

“If you say so,” Raquel said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

“Shaddup!” Jaims said, shoving at Raquel’s shoulder. She immediately saw Raquel wince. “Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?”

Raquel closed her eyes for a few moments. “Yeah… I just have a headache from the damned flight. All that pressure and shit.”

Raquel reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills. She popped one into her mouth then put the bottle back.

“What’re those?” Jaims asked.

“Just oxy.”

“Do they help?”

“They keep me high as a kite, so yeah, they help,” Raquel said, an edge to her voice.

Jaims looked over at her friend and saw the closed look on her face. It worried her. Raquel was all about natural stuff going into her body, and now, suddenly, she was being flippant about painkillers? Jaims made a mental note to find out all she could about Oxycodone and its effects. She just hoped that it was the plane ride that had caused the headache, and that it wasn’t a problem.

Little did Jaims know, Raquel had popped two pills prior to landing, and a number of them during her sixteen plus hour flight. Raquel knew in the smallest part of her that she didn’t want to look at, that she was addicted, but she refused to face that fact. She was home now, everything was going to be okay. She wanted it that way and that’s how it was going to be. Period.