Chapter 2
“What are you doing?” Jessie asked.
Morgan jumped, not realizing that her longtime friend had let herself into the condo. “Jesus! Don’t do that!” she yelled.
Jessie shrugged, leaning her hips on the kitchen counter, gesturing to the mess all around them. Containers, vegetables, pans, packages of food lay strewn on every available surface in the small kitchen.
Morgan sighed from her spot on the floor in front of the refrigerator. “I was making some tea.”
Jessie blinked a couple of times, then snorted. “I’m sure that made sense to you, but to those of us not stuck in your head…”
Morgan blew out her breath in exasperation again. “I was making tea, and when I went into the cabinet to get the teabag, I saw that my pantry was a mess, so I started pulling stuff out. Which lead to rearranging the pots, thinking I needed to order a nice pot rack for the island. But then I got into the fridge to get out the cream for my tea that was now cold and I noticed that I’d spilled cream on the shelf, so I started cleaning that…and that led to cleaning out the fridge…” Morgan’s voice trailed off as she sat back on her heels, blowing a stray red curl of hair her face.
Jessie pressed her lips together, widening her eyes. “Let me guess, you were trying to work on your latest book.”
Morgan curled up her lips in self-disgust. “Yes!”
“And you’re still blocked.”
“You know…” Morgan said threateningly.
Jessie held up her hands in immediate surrender. “I’m just pointing out the obvious.”
Morgan shook her head mournfully. “I suck! I’m never going to be able to write again!” She took off the gloves she’d been wearing to scrub the refrigerator shelves, tossing them aside and scrubbed at her face.
“Well, that’s going to depress your publisher,” Jessie quipped.
Morgan narrowed her eyes. “You’re not helping.”
Jessie smiled brightly. “Hey, I hooked you up with that therapist, that was me helping. How’s that going, by the way?”
“Hand me those vegetables,” Morgan told her.
“Is that how it’s going?”
“No smart arse, but I need to put my kitchen back together, and you just volunteered to help me!”
An hour later, the kitchen was back together, and Jessie and Morgan were sipping tea on the couch.
“It’s going alright,” Morgan was telling her friend. “It seems that I was a soldier at the battle of Antietam.”
“Wow, really?” Jessie exclaimed.
Morgan nodded. “He was shot.”
“He?”
“Yes, I was a boy,” Morgan mused.
“Did you die?” Jessie asked in subdued voice.
“I was rescued by a woman. She had the most beautiful eyes…” Morgan remembered.
Jessie grinned. “Did ya make whoopie with her?”
“For goodness’ sake!” Morgan rolled her eyes, but then grimaced out of embarrassment.
He breathed in the lovely scent of lavender; she was so close as she gave him a sponge bath. His healing had been slow, but steady. Amelia had been taking excellent care of him. They talked while she tended to his needs.
“You were telling me why you volunteered,” Amelia reminded him.
Jack shrugged, grimacing as the gesture tugged at a stich in his chest. “We had slaves, my father was against the war, he thought people should be free to own slaves.” Jack curled his mouth in disgust at the idea. “I didn’t like seeing people treated like that, so I snuck off and joined the Union Army.”
Amelia looked impressed. “That was very brave of you.”
“I had to do something.”
“How long have you been with the Union?”
“Almost a year now,” Jack replied. “I guess I will need to join back up with my unit after I get better.”
Amelia gasped, turning to look at him. “You are going back?” The shock in her voice made Jack realize that he hadn’t mentioned going back before.
“I ain’t no deserter.”
“You were shot!” Amelia exclaimed, her voice becoming shrill in concern.
Jack blinked a couple of times, trying to reconcile what he would need to do in order to not be considered a deserter. He heard what they did to deserters. Some were sent to work camps, others were marked with a tattoo or brand, and others were shot.
“You cannot go back there,” Amelia insisted, her blue eyes started to glaze with unshed tears.
“I have to find my unit, I have to…” Jack began. Amelia’s tears began in earnest, and he was so struck by them he couldn’t think past trying to comfort her.
He shifted in the bed, taking her into his arms, to do his best to make her feel better. He was surprised when she leaned into him willingly.
Stroking her hair, he shushed her. “It will be okay.”
“No!” Amelia exclaimed. “What if you are shot again? What if…” Her voice trailed off as she sniffed in an effort to get her emotions under control, reaching up to wipe at her tears almost angrily. She sat back, shaking her head and averting her eyes.
Jack could see her fighting the urge to say something else. “What is it?”
Cornflower-blue eyes pinned him with a searching look, but she shook her head again, and stood up. “I have work to do, I will come back later.” With that she left the room.
Jack sat trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. Certainly, she wouldn’t want a coward living in her home. It just made no sense at all. Now he was worried that she was angry at him, and he wanted so much to change her heart. Slowly he moved to the side of the bed. His chest burned, but he needed to talk to Amelia, and he did not want to wait until she came back. As he stood up, he felt unstable on his feet, he’d been in bed for weeks. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, but he could rest when he had talked to his caretaker.
Forcing his feet to move, he took a bit longer. Slowly but surely, he made his way across the small room. At the door, he leaned against the cool surface, breathing heavily and feeling light-headed. There was a definite burning in his chest, but there was also an ache that he knew felt far more important.
Opening the door to the room, he peered out into the kitchen. Amelia was standing at the stove, stirring a large steaming pot. Jack noticed that she was sniffling, and he wondered why, but before he could change his mind, he called her name. Amelia turned to look at him, her blue eyes widening with shock seeing him standing in the doorway.
“Jack!” she exclaimed, moving immediately to him, afraid he would fall and hurt himself.
As she moved toward him, Jack pushed off the doorjamb and opened his arms to her. Amelia looked taken aback temporarily, but stepped into his arms all the same, wanting to support his body weight, lest he reverse the healing he’d done in the past few weeks. She was surprised when his hand touched her face, tilting her chin up to look up at him. The look in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat.
“Please don’t be afraid for me,” he told her, his breath uneven. Amelia blinked a couple of times, but then gestured to guide him back to bed. He refused to budge, which made her look up at him more intently. He shook his head, then pinned her with a serious look. “I love you, and if I have to leave, I will always come back to you.”
“Wow!” Jessie exclaimed, her stunned look backing up her statement. “So in your past life you loved her, huh?”
Morgan nodded looking bemused. She could see that her friend was doing her best to understand the idea of past lives . Even Morgan knew that it probably all sounded crazy.
***
“What the hell are you watching?” Raquel asked, horrified. The noise of screaming had brought her out of her room and into the living room.
Jaims glanced over her shoulder, worried that her roommate was in a bad mood again…she’d been moody a lot lately. But Raquel didn’t look mad, just comically dismayed. “It’s Shaun of the Dead , have you never seen it?”
Raquel stepped around to peer at the TV screen. “Can’t say I have…” she muttered. She stood for a long moment watching the movie, then she slowly backed up toward the couch. “Scootch!” she ordered. Jaims did as she was told, happy that her friend finally seemed like she wanted to hang out again.
Raquel had been one of those people that Jaims had always had a connection with. They’d met at Zion’s club years before, and they had just clicked. Raquel had been a cop, and was looking for a new place to blow off steam after work. Jaims had been helping out behind the bar that night, and had found herself attracted to the dark-haired, dark-eyed, no-nonsense cop. They’d swiftly become friends, and later roommates, so Jaims had stashed that attraction for her further down in her soul.
They’d always gotten along well, and Jaims had been the one person, besides her brothers, that Raquel had emailed on a regular basis when her reserve unit had been called up to go to Iraq. There had even been late-night phone calls, while Raquel tried to maintain her sanity during many a lonely night. Even daytime phone calls, when things were quiet on base. But then she’d been shot, and things had changed dramatically, even after she came home.
“Oh, that’s such a hideous waste of beer!” Raquel complained.
“Right?” Jaims agreed.
“You know what we need…”
“Popcorn!” Jaims yelled, jumping up to make some.
Suddenly, it was just like the good old days and Jaims was thrilled. Maybe the real Raquel was coming back.
“Ouch, damn it,” Raquel hissed as she took an unopened kernel out of her mouth and tossed it on the coffee table. “I hate it when those suckers don’t pop!”
“Losers,” Jaims mumbled with a mouthful of popcorn.
“Under achievers.”
“Failures.”
“Bums!” Raquel laughed, enjoying the game.
It was a nice afternoon.
“What’s the haps?” Jaims answered her phone, seeing that it was Raquel.
“Same shit, more sand,” was her acerbic reply.
“Bleh! How hot is it there right now?” Jaims asked, looking at her watch. It was 2 a.m. in San Francisco, so it was noon in Iraq at that point.
“A hundred and fucking nine already!” Raquel complained. “Supposed to get up to about a hundred and fifteen today.”
“Dude…” Jaims commiserated.
“You just get back from Z’s?” Raquel queried, anxious to be back home in the cool San Francisco weather.
“Yeah, it was hopping tonight.”
“Hopping?” Raquel repeated with disdain. “You’re starting to talk like Z.”
Jaims laughed. “Yeah, I know, gotta knock that off or I’ll be old before my time!”
“As your elder,” Raquel, who was only two years older, pronounced, “I’m telling ya, it doesn’t slow down once you start sliding!”
“Oh shut up!” Jaims laughed. “So what’s really going on there?”
Raquel grew quiet. Jaims knew her well enough to know if she was calling in the middle of the day it was probably because something happened.
“We lost Jimmy today,” Raquel said solemnly.
“Damn…”
Jimmy had been a gunner and had been hurt in the field the week before. There had been some hope of recovery, but clearly, with this news, it didn’t happen.
“You okay?”
Raquel sniffed, trying to be brave and hold back tears. “No,” she said simply. “Distract me.”
Jaims nodded. “So you know that L word’s been talking up Stacy, right? Well, tonight Stacy showed up with someone new! So, L word made a point of seducing the someone!”
“Holy shit!” Raquel exclaimed, laughing. “I swear that one can get ’em all!
Jaims smiled at her end, glad she could offer her friend a way out of her sadness. It was one of the few things she was able to do for Raquel.
***
“Are you okay?” Garrett asked Raquel, not for the first time during the visit.
“What?” Raquel queried, looking distracted. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
They were sitting in the quad at the college Raquel’s brothers, Garrett and Jackson, were attending in Santa Clara. They’d both been able to use Raquel’s GI bill to go to college. Fortunately, it also included onsite student housing for both boys.
“How is school going?” Raquel asked, trying to look engaged in the conversation, even though her mind was having trouble paying attention.
“It’s good,” Jackson said with a smile. “You look good, sis.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Raquel murmured, grinning back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get out here to see you two sooner, things have just been crazy lately.”
“Are you back on the PD?” Garrett asked.
Raquel had been a police officer with the San Francisco Police Department when her Army Reserve unit had been called up.
“Nah, not yet, they want medical clearance, so I’m workin’ on that.”
Both boys nodded. They detected their sister wasn’t really there with them, but did their best to enjoy the time with her. Their lives had been so disturbed by her being shot, they’d worried that she would die. The relief of her recovery had been absolute. Even if she didn’t seem the same, they loved their sister dearly.
***
“And there she goes again…” Raquel observed as Shayne ‘L Word’ walked away with yet another woman, a different one from the night before.
“What?” Jaims asked, as she sat down with their beers, seeing Raquel’s expression as she approached.
“Good old L Word.” Raquel shook her head, picking up her beer and taking a swig.
“Aw.” Jaims nodded. She was used to their friend’s ease with women. “You could score if you tried.”
Raquel shrugged. “Too much work.”
Jaims chuckled, shaking her head. “Seriously!”
“Dude, these girls are so materialistic these days, they won’t even look at ya if you don’t drive a Jag or something.”
Jaims ran her tongue along her teeth. Reminding Raquel that Shayne didn’t have a Jag wouldn’t be wise.
“Maybe we should just get together,” Raquel said, her tone casual.
Jaims glanced over at her friend, wondering how drunk she was. Raquel had been there for an hour before Jaims had joined her. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Uh-huh.”
Before Raquel could say anything further, Zion walked over to them, nudging Jaims on the shoulder. “Could you go down and grab some Corona for me? Ziggy hurt her wrist and you know Amelia won’t lift anything.” The words were said with an eyeroll.
“Well, she’s a delicate flower,” Jaims replied, sighing as she stood up.
When Jaims returned a little while later, Raquel looked annoyed. “What?” she queried.
Raquel shook her head, leaning back in her chair, her legs splayed out in front of her in an exaggerated but relaxed pose. Jaims didn’t trust it for a minute, but sat down all the same. Raquel tilted her head in a sidelong look. “What’s up with that anyway?” Jaims blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out what her friend was referring to, before she attempted to answer.
“With Z,” Raquel clarified.
“With Z,” Jaims repeated, “what? She needed help.”
“And you’re the only one that can help her these days?” Raquel said accusingly.
Jaims’ mouth hung open for a long moment. It almost sounded like her friend was jealous, but jealously didn’t really make sense.
“No,” she began carefully, not wanting to piss Raquel off. She was so volatile these days. “But like I told you, Dax asked me to keep an eye on Z while she was out of town, and that’s what I’m doing.”
Jaims continued, “Ya know, helping her out and stuff.” She shrugged indicating that it was no big deal.
“That’s right. D is off with her hot new girl…”
Raquel rolled her eyes, her annoyance radiated in waves.
Jaims shook her head and walked away, lest they get into a fight at the club. The last thing Jaims wanted was for the rest of the bois to see how things with Raquel could get at times.
***
Jane walked into the bar, immediately scanning the room for Zion. She located the owner quickly; she was standing near the bar. Making her way in that direction, Jane noticed all the heads turning to look at her. After all, she was stunning, her lithe body draped in red silk, her platinum blonde hair swept up in a fancy chignon. With supreme confidence, born of getting her way consistently in life, Jane strolled straight up to Zion, smiling enticingly.
“I need to speak to your manager,” Jane drawled sexily.
Zion’s lips quirked in a slight grin. “I’m the owner, but I know you know that.”
Jane’s eyes gave nothing away, as she smirked. “Is there somewhere private we can talk?”
Zion stared back at the blonde, as if trying to discern what her intentions were. Finally, she nodded and lead Jane to her office behind the bar. No sooner had Zion closed the door, Jane slid her arms around the owner’s neck and leaned in for a kiss. Zion’s hands shot out to the side, in a gesture of both alarm and caution, she had no idea what this woman’s motivations were.
Zion was no fool, she knew a predator when she saw one, but damn the woman was just too beautiful to be believed. With her platinum blonde hair, sultry eyes, and the clothes she wore, she emanated the classic blonde bombshell image, which only further attracted the bar owner.
Before long, Zion gave into her desire to take the woman fully into her arms. Jane exalted in the surrender and pressed closer. Zion had the presence of mind to reach behind her and lock the door. She could then give her full attention to the woman pressing against her.
The next morning, they were in Zion’s bed.
“How much do you need?” Jane asked as they lay in Zion’s bed catching their breath.
“For what?” Zion’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
“To expand the bar.”
“I…it’s a lot.” Zion sighed. “But I’m working on it, I’ll probably just sell a few properties.”
“But then you’ll lose monthly income,” Jane pointed out, smoothing her hand down Zion’s chest, her nails sliding over immediately taut nipples. It made Zion suck in her breath at the sensation.
Zion shrugged, trying to concentrate on the conversation. “Once I finish the expansion, I’ll make that money up in revenue from the bar.”
“That’s going to take time, sweetie…” Jane’s voice trailed off as she nipped at Zion’s neck. “Just let me give you the money.”
Zion’s eyes closed, reactive to Jane’s touch, her body betraying her. “I can’t…um…I can’t let you do that.”
Jane sat back, looking like Zion had slapped her. “You don’t trust me?”
It took Zion an extra couple of seconds to catch up to the change in Jane’s direction. “I never said that.”
“Then why don’t you want me to invest in your bar?” Jane asked petulantly.
“I just…” Zion searched for the right words, she didn’t want to say she wanted to keep business and pleasure separate. The fact of the matter was, no…she didn’t trust Jane, for reasons she couldn’t quite put her finger on. “I can do this.”
Jane recoiled away. She stood up, picking up her discarded dress and under garments as she went and headed for the bathroom. The door to the bathroom slammed and Zion knew she’d just pissed her off. Laying back in her bed, Zion sighed, she never seemed to know exactly how to deal with the hellcat she was dating.
***
The headache was back; Raquel ignored that her hands were shaking as she reached for the pill bottle. Opening the bottle, she was surprised when she noticed that there were only two left.
“Fuck,” she muttered to herself.
She grunted as she popped both remaining pills. She was unable to recall the last time she refilled the prescription. She dialed the number on the bottle to order a refill. Punching in the numbers from the pharmacy prompt, she waited for the automated voice to tell her when to pick up prescription. It was a shock to hear a voice on the end of the line say, There are no refills remaining on this prescription, please contact your doctor for a new prescription.
“Son of a fucking bitch!” Raquel yelled, throwing her phone across the room, narrowly missing Jaims who’d just walked in.
“Whoa!” Jaims exclaimed, ducking to avoid the latest missile. Raquel was always throwing things these days.
“What happened?”
“They say I don’t have any refills on my meds,” Raquel hissed.
Jaims leaned down to pick up Raquel’s phone.
“Just leave it!” Raquel snapped.
Picking up the offending device, Jaims set it next to Raquel on the couch. “You’ll miss it soon enough,” she joked good naturedly.
“I said,” Raquel gritted out, as she picked up the phone and hurled it at Jaims’ face, “fucking leave it!”
Jaims didn’t duck fast enough this time, and the phone caught her near her eye.
“What the fuck, man!” she cried, as she reached up to touch the spot the phone had hit.
Raquel just stared back at Jaims, her lips twitching in annoyance. Jaims made a quick exit, wanting to get away from the storm she could see brewing.
Leaving the apartment, Jaims went out to her car: her neon blue, brZ that made her happy. Getting inside the low-slung vehicle she started the ignition and let the house music that could be heard from the speakers surround her. The latest from Laidback Luke, Flexin’ played as she drove off down the street.
Her thoughts were in turmoil as she accelerated down the street, heading for the water, her lifelong refuge. The relationship with Raquel that had once been easy and comfortable was quickly becoming a constant tiptoe through the landmines! On one hand, she knew that Raquel was going through a lot, trying to get back on with the PD, and still healing from the gunshot, and on the other, Jaims was aware of the PTSD she must be going through.
That thought had her wondering, was that what this was? Was Raquel experiencing PTSD and that is what had her lashing out so often?
Parking at her favorite spot at Heron’s Head Park, Jaims pulled out her phone and decided to look up PTSD symptoms.
“Changes in physical and emotional reactions,” Jaims read out loud to herself. “Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior…check, check, check!”
A feeling of guilt settled around Jaims. Had she been ignoring her friend’s distress? Raquel hadn’t said anything, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t feeling things.
Getting out of her car, Jaims walked toward the water. She made her way out the dirt path and took out a cigarette and lit it. She’d been cutting back lately, but this situation was too stressful to forego the vice.
Once at the water she sat down, smoking and looking out over the bay, her mind turning to the events of the last couple of months. She thought of all the screaming fits, and the throwing things and the mood swings. The guilt compounded more and more. Jaims cursed herself for not being a better friend.
Finally, she stood up, intent on going back home to apologize and ask how she could help Raquel get through what she was dealing with. When she walked into the apartment however, Raquel was nowhere to be found.
***
“You don’t like her?” Zion asked Dax, her best friend, as her eyes tracked Jane making her way to the bar, a slow sexy stroll, as always.
Dax’s lips twitched, as she leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest, knowing that Zion was smitten, and not wanting to torpedo her friend’s mood.
“She’s…just…so fancy.”
Zion looked surprised but pleased. “Fancy,” she tried out the word. “Yeah, that’s definitely her.”
Dax relaxed, glad she hadn’t offended Zion. They’d been friends since the Navy, and the last thing she ever wanted was to upset her. Zion was the closest thing she had to family.
Dax had fought her way through getting her aeronautics degree and attending the Navy’s Officer Candidate School. She had just about had it with attitude from men in the Navy. There were constant comments about her short haircut; did she think she was a man? They criticized how she dressed off duty was off-putting to some of her fellow pilots. It also seemed to really annoy her fellow pilots that she was a great pilot; she couldn’t win. Now being assigned to an aircraft carrier, it put Dax in a whole new environment. At least at her previous post she’d found a small group of friends that she could trust and hang out with. This was all new.
Stepping onto the Carl Vinson , Dax got her bunk assignment, and headed off toward the flight deck.
The aviation wing was always located under the flight deck, her previous crew had already told her that. She also knew she was likely to get stuck rooming with some guy, since the Navy didn’t really have room to segregate men and women on an aircraft carrier. She steeled herself for that conversation.
At the door to her assigned cabin, Dax paused, she could hear someone moving around inside. Getting settled quietly and on her own wasn’t happening. Taking a slow, deep breath, she reached for the handle. When she opened the door, she wasn’t at all surprised to encounter a man. He had the classic short hair, shaved at the back, and a little longer on the top. To her shock, the person who she had mistaken for a man, turned around, and it was not a man at all, but another woman!
“Holy shit!” was the first thing out of Dax’s mouth.
“Hiya to you too,” the stranger said with a grin.
Dax shook her head, smiling widely. “I just really expected to get stuck with a guy.”
“Well, you’re stuck with me instead. I’m Zion.” Zion extended her hand, her blue eyes twinkling with humor.
Dax grasped Zion’s hand, shaking it firmly. “Great to meet you, I’m Dax.”
Zion nodded her head. “Pilot?”
Dax grinned. “Is it obvious?”
“Yeah, ya got that cocky, useless look about ya.” Zion laughed.
Dax guffawed, winking. “Then that must make you deck crew.”
“Only if you want your shit to work.”
“Avionics then?”
“You got it.”
“We might just get along then.” Dax chuckled.
“Keep your drift factor low and the dolly count high and we’ll be alright.” Zion winked.
Dax felt a sense of relief flood her veins. Zion had just confirmed what she’d suspected. That she was gay too. What were the odds? It didn’t matter, Dax was just happy to have found a new ally. They’d been fast friends after that first meeting.
The fact was that Dax didn’t like Jane, neither did many of their friends. It was obvious to everyone that Jane ‘Fancy’, as she quickly became known, wasn’t interested in anything but controlling Zion, and that didn’t sit well with Dax at all. Zion was the unofficial head of their small group, no one wanted to be the one to say anything about Jane to Zion. The problem was, Dax knew it was going to fall on her and she was dreading that.
Things stepped up a few days later when Zion was delayed getting to the bar. Dax opened up for Zion. She was helping with the back bar when Jane strolled up. As usual, Jane was dressed in a long, provocative silk dress with high heels. Today’s color was a sapphire blue.
“Dax, right?” Jane announced with a sexy smile.
“Yup,” Dax replied, pouring Jane a glass of white wine and placing it in front of her. White wine was all she ever drank.
Before Dax could pull back, Jane ran a red fingernail along Dax’s jawline. “So sweet,” she purred. “Thank you.”
Dax simply gave Jane a curt nod, then went to help someone else. The last thing she wanted was to have her best friend’s girlfriend flirting with her. Jane watched her closely for long time.
Dax made a point of staying away from her. It bothered Dax to the point that she was very relieved when Zion finally got to the bar.
***
Two days passed before Raquel reappeared at the apartment.
She walked in while Jaims was watching a movie in the living room. Glancing up, Jaims immediately turned down the volume. She was watching Avengers: Endgame , and she’d read that loud noises could trigger someone with PTSD.
“Hey.” Jaims nodded.
Raquel said nothing. She instead surprised Jaims by siting down at the other end of the couch. She took a pillow, putting it in Jaims’ lap and laid her head on top of it with an extended sigh. At first, Jaims wasn’t sure how to react, but then Raquel picked up the remote and turned the movie volume up.
“I love this one,” Raquel finally said.
“Me too, except…”
“The end, when Tony Stark dies,” Raquel finished.
“It sucks!”
“You are such a marshmallow.” Raquel laughed.
“Yeah, yeah.” Jaims chuckled, making a face.
Raquel surprised her again by reaching up to touch the spot next to Jaims’ eye; it was still slightly bruised. The light touch surprised Jaims. “I’m sorry about that,” Raquel said.
Jaims chewed on the inside of her cheek contemplating. On the one hand, she did not want to say it was okay, because it wasn’t, but she also wanted to open up the conversation about the PTSD.
“You know…if you want to talk about what happened over there,” she began.
“Pfft!” Raquel dismissed, with a wave of her hand. “I don’t want to even think about that shit.”
“But…” Jaims was about to protest but saw the annoyance flash in Raquel’s eyes. Instead, she just shut up and turned her attention back to the movie.
Raquel felt a pang of guilt, she knew that Jaims was only trying to help, but she didn’t need help. People were pushing her, telling her she should probably talk to someone about her PTSD. As far as she was concerned, she didn’t frigging have PTSD, she just had an injury that made her damned head hurt all the time. Why would it be PTSD? Couldn’t it just be a headache from getting shot in the damned head? Why was everything about PTSD nowadays?
She just wanted to get back to living her life. Not that it was working out that way, the PD wasn’t ready to let her come back—they kept telling her she needed a medical clearance. The fucking army kept telling her she needed to get counseling before they’d clear her. It was a catch-22 and she was sick of thinking about it. It helped that she’d scored some more meds from a friend, so her head was swimming with that onboard. She didn’t want to think, so she sat back and lost herself in the movie, that had always been hers and Jaims’ thing, movies.
“April twenty-third!” Jaims crowed as she walked into Fancy’s that night.
“What’s April twenty-third?” L Word looked perplexed.
“Only the coolest thing ever!” Jaims replied happily.
“And that would be…” Flynn moved her hand in a ‘come on’ gesture.
“ Infinity Wars comes out,” Raquel commented as she joined her new friends.
Jaims opened her mouth in shock, but smiled as she did. “Yeah! Dude!” Her exclamation was made along with a high five gesture, which Raquel answered with a grin.
Raquel had never felt more included in a group before in her life.
Growing up in Los Angeles, she’d always had looks going for her, but her aggressive nature coupled with the knowledge that she was ‘different’ had pushed people away quickly.
It had taken her years to come out to her Latino family, and it had ended in disaster. At eighteen she’d bravely told them. They’d immediately kicked her out of the house and disowned her. It had been a horrible scene. She’d ended up joining the Army, because she had nowhere else to go, and at least the Army would clothe and feed her and give her a place to live. Fortunately, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had been repealed the year before and she was able to be herself in the Army. Still, it wasn’t what she wanted to be, so after four years, she was honorably discharged and went for what she really wanted.
With the money she’d saved during her time in the Army, she had moved to San Francisco, a place she was sure she could be her real self. She applied to join the San Francisco police department. Becoming a police officer had been a dream of hers since she’d seen one of her cousins gunned down in the street many years before. Being the one to arrest bad people who committed crimes seemed the best thing to do with her life. Her military experience meant she would be a shoo-in for the PD. So at the age of twenty-two she’d started her career in law enforcement.
Even as a police officer, she never really felt like she fit in much. She never found her niche, until she’d walked into a bar called Fancy’s on its grand reopening. She recalled it was four years ago. That’s when she’d met Jaims, and later her friends. That is when she knew she found her tribe. They’d become even more important the following year because Raquel’s parents had been killed in a car crash, leaving her two little brothers, they were only fifteen and sixteen at the time. Raquel and Jaims had been living together to save rent money. Zion had offered them a place to rent, a place that had three bedrooms, at a very reasonable rent for San Francisco. The Castro Bois Crew had become family to Garrett and Jackson also. Raquel could never repay them for the comfort they provided for not only her, but for her brothers too.