CHAPTER 23
MATTY
Sierra Chan was doing something to me.
Something unspeakable.
Something unrecognizable.
Something untamable.
Ever since I made it official that she was mine, and I wasn’t backing off like I should have, life had never been the same again.
I wanted her in every possible way.
I wanted to breathe her in, touch her soft skin, and be consumed by her presence every second of the day.
I wanted to keep her in my arms and never share her with the world.
I was becoming an obsessive fool.
A fool for her.
I think I finally understood my friend’s feelings.
The orders, the rules, the decorum that I followed in life all vanished like dust, and it wasn’t even hard for me to let them go. That was how much she changed my life in an instant.
I was addicted.
I wasn’t one to get addicted. I knew my limits, and I had my limits, but they were invisible when it came to her.
Like now, I couldn’t stop staring at the adorable dimple in her cheek, which was now almost always present in my vicinity.
But I also couldn’t stop staring at her in my jacket.
I still remember throwing it at a fan back in the day and they would’ve probably sold it but I didn’t give a fuck.
Because here it was, on her. She called it her lucky jacket and some sick satisfaction filled my blood at that.
The yellow bomber popped against her all-black attire, swallowing her frame coming right below her ass, but damn if she looked so fucking sexy in her Daisy Luna outfit, her alter ego she called her.
“You ready?” I asked, squeezing her hands that I was holding between us.
“Yes… But first, I need my good luck kiss.” She smiled, leaping to the balls of her feet, and softly pressed her lips to mine.
I tilted my chin, deepening the kiss, and her moan vibrated off my tongue, sending a rush straight to the throbbing organ between my thighs.
The warmth of her breath and the silky softness of her lips were like a drug I wanted more and more of.
“Fuck, now I need to wash my eyes with bleach,” a loud voice hollered, laced with disgust, followed by a hurling sound.
Sierra’s cheeks pinked as her lips left mine, and I wanted to strangle that kid for interrupting us at the wrong fucking time, but then, could I really blame him?
I’d been in the same place. As much as I loved Lan, I wanted to screw his face every time he shoved his tongue inside my sister’s throat.
“Please, can you both not ever do that in my presence?” Raphael groaned, scrubbing his eyes. “I don’t think I can handle shit like that again.”
“Stop overreacting,” Sierra shot to her brother. “I was kissing my boyfriend and not some stranger.”
My chest flared with contentment.
I was her
boyfriend .
I never imagined I’d end up being in a relationship; that was the last thing on my mind when I moved to New York. I thought I’d be holed up in the studio, buried in work, and I still was for the most part, only this time with her invading my thoughts like it was my mind’s favorite sport.
I still couldn’t believe I’d gotten myself tangled with someone so much younger and brighter and smarter than me. I was never much for love and relationships; I’d never thought that something as emotional as that would be a part of my life.
Yet here I was, against all odds.
Sierra Chan swept me off my feet just by being her.
No wonder I felt like I was beckoned to New York for some reason.
The reason was her.
“That’s what I don’t understand.” Raphael pointed an accusatory finger toward us. “You, dear sister, came here to be my guardian, and you, big man, you’re supposed to be on my team, not hers.”
“Can’t be helped,” I said dryly. “I happen to like your sister more than you.”
An overly dramatic expression crowded his face as he clutched his heart and fell to the couch with a heavy thud.
Sierra rolled her eyes as her soft hand tugged me. “Come on, let’s go.”
I nodded, guiding her out.
“Good luck,” Raphael called out just as we walked out the door. Guess he wasn’t faking his death anymore.
“Thanks,” Sierra hollered back.
“Nervous?” I asked as we headed to the parking lot.
She shook her head, smiling. “Nope. Far from it. I can’t wait to win this game.”
“Good,” I whispered, placing a kiss on her cheek as I fastened the seat belt around her, which she protested she was capable of doing herself, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to do everything for her, even the most mundane things.
And the smile that spread across her lips whenever I did those little gestures just about made me want to do it more.
I softly closed her door and crossed over to the driver’s seat in quick strides. The entire time, I could feel her eyes following me, and I didn’t even have to see to know that they were pooled with vulnerable trust and admiration.
Forgoing the usual classics I listened to during a drive, the car was instead swallowed in one of our albums. Sierra happily bobbed her head, stating that it was her pre-game playlist, so who was I to question?
Today was her quarterfinals, and I wasn’t going to let her take a taxi all the way across the city by herself. Her eyes gleamed with so much hope when she asked me earlier this week if I had any plans on Saturday. In my head, I’d already planned on inviting myself to her game because watching her play could be added to my newfound list of addictions when it came to her.
And when I said yes, those hopeful eyes glittered so bright that it ached my heart.
“Do you want to listen to one of our unreleased songs?” I asked, just as her playlist ended.
Her rounded eyes flew to me. “I can do that?”
“Of course you can,” I replied, handing her my phone. “The code is two-four-two-four, you can airplay the unreleased folder on the voice memos.”
Her pretty pink lips parted as she grasped the phone. “Aren’t you worried about giving me your password? You know I can find out all of your secrets.”
I shrugged. “Don’t care.”
She shook her head in disbelief before fiddling with my phone. “But don’t worry, I’m a good girlfriend, and I respect boundaries. Plus, I trust you more than I trust myself. You’re sometimes too honest and blunt that I worry if you can even tell a lie.”
I slanted her with a gaze while I maneuvered the steering wheel. “I don’t think you should be worried about that.”
“Everyone has to lie sometimes, but I actually like that you don’t.” She shifted her body to the side, her eyes grazing over me. “And you shouldn’t. It wouldn’t suit you if you lie,” she said, her brows knotted in a pensive frown.
“Thanks for the insight.”
A soft laugh spilled from her lips before the car was once again swallowed by one of our recent demos, to which Sierra oohed and aahed over, saying they would be our biggest hits. She even played some of the beat arrangements I composed and even took the liberty of sending them to her phone, saying they were her new favorites now.
It took another thirty minutes before we reached the venue, and thanks to Sierra’s access pass, we got ourselves a good lot.
“So umm, quarters are usually slow days. We just have one match, but it takes a while for them to place us. I’ll text you when our match starts so you don’t have to be bored out of your mind. Until then, you’re free,” she said with a smile, clutching her tiny backpack to her chest.
“Sierra, you’re out of your mind if you think I’m leaving and coming back just to see you play. I want to be here with you.”
Her eyes lit up. “You do?”
“That’s what I said.”
A swallow worked through her delicate throat. “No one has ever come to my game day,” she whispered in a heavy tone. “I mean, I do play with my friends, and I have my fans cheering me on, but I never had anyone be there just for me before.” A sad smile curved her lips. “Thank you for being here. It means a lot more than you think.”
“And I’ll be at every single one of them, I promise.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t make promises like that.”
“I think I can.”
“But what if you go on tour or you have an important concert?”
“I can switch the dates.”
“What if you get sick?”
“Don’t think that’s going to stop me.”
“What if there’s a tornado or something?”
“Then the game would be canceled.” I held my finger to her lip before she could ask the next question. “I made a promise, and I’m going to keep it. You just have to get used to me, firecracker.”
Her lower lip wobbled as her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I think I’m going to cry,” she blubbered as she crashed into me with a tight hug.
“Don’t,” I mumbled before I caught her lips in a smooth kiss, sure but soft at the same time.
I loved kissing her. The sounds she made in the back of her throat and the way her fingers curled over me made me want to just keep kissing her for the rest of our lives.
“Did I just get my second good luck kiss?” Sierra grinned as we parted. “But as much as I’d like another one, we have to get going. I need to rendezvous with the team for gameplay.”
I nodded, clutching her hand as she led me through the venue, looking so adorable as she explained the way to the backstage rooms for the players. I didn’t want to burst her bubble and tell her that I’d been here numerous times. We played in this arena countless times back in the day. Now, our crowds outnumbered them, but I’d never forget where we came from.
She nodded to some of the staff, her steps light as we entered the corridor by the stage area. I kept my head down, trying to keep a low profile as I drew my hoodie lower.
“We only get rooms like this when we make it to the quarters. Until then, we are all put in the same hall, oh, and this is us,” she informed, pointing at the door that said “Voltron Voids.”
She paused before she opened the door and her hesitant eyes found mine. “Wait, you don’t mind me introducing you to all my friends, do you? They’re going to act a bit crazy, but I swear they’re good people.”
“Sierra,” I said, softly sliding my thumb across her cheek. “You can scream from the rooftops that you’re my girlfriend, and I don’t give one fuck about it.”
Crimson crackled the apples of her cheeks as she nodded. “Hey guys,” she announced just as we entered the modest four-by-four room with a lone couch in the corner and a larger table in the center with some chairs thrown about.
Four pairs of eyes landed on us, of which three popped with stunned amazement and one narrowed with an underlying glint.
“What the fuck?” mumbled a boy with blue streaks in his hair. “Is this for real?”
“Guys.” Sierra gave them a pointed look, holding up a hand. “Before you all freak out, I’ll explain everything, so listen before you ask me anything.”
The three of them nodded as if they were in a trance.
Sierra spent the next few minutes reiterating everything and ended by saying that we were now dating, which made the guy with the brown hair, whom I remember her calling Tin, seethe as his jaw clenched tight. He stood in the lone corner, leaning against the wall as he stared at me with utmost disdain.
I met his stare head-on. Only mine was laced with an undercurrent warning.
If he were smart, he would never have let something as precious as her slip through his fingers.
But too bad for him, Sierra was mine now, and that wasn’t changing anytime soon.
Or forever.
“Matty,” Sierra said, turning to me. “Meet Kiki, Freddy, and Ken.”
She gestured to the girl with curly blond hair and round blue eyes, a younger guy wearing a blue jacket matching the highlights in his hair, and a guy in his early twenties with stark raven hair and kind eyes.
They approached me with wide smiles, stating they were big fans, and even took a few pictures, which I didn’t mind because I would do anything for her.
“And that is Tin, my best friend,” Sierra said with a smile as that fucker advanced toward us.
I didn’t like the fact that her best friend was a guy. But I bit through it as I gave him a nod, which he returned with lackluster enthusiasm.
“When are you guys putting out your next album?” Kiki blinked at me. “I still can’t believe I get to talk to a celebrity in real life like it’s a normal thing.”
“We’re still working on it. Nothing’s confirmed at this moment,” I replied politely.
“Can I score some tickets to a concert, man?” Freddy asked, shifting on his feet. “My baby sister is a huge fan of you guys. I tried in the past, but it was always sold out.”
“Of course. Just let Sierra know which concert you want to go to, and I’ll arrange everything for you.”
He nodded, gratefully.
“Okay, guys.” Sierra clapped her hands. “That’s enough fan moment for the day. I know how hard it is. Trust me, I’m his biggest fan, and I have resisted the urge to even ask for his signature. I know he is irresistible…” Her sparkling eyes dashed to me for a second before they returned to her group. “But remember, we have a game to play, and that’s top priority today.”
She wanted my autograph? If she asked, I would happily sign her entire body.
Hmm, maybe I should do that.
“Yes, ma’am.” They all saluted her.
And in the next few minutes, Sierra transformed into a breathtaking version of herself. I sat quietly by her side like a shadow, my blood filled with awe as I watched her.
She instructed the team on the game strategy in a cool, confident voice as her eyes swept over them in laser-sharp focus. She had answers to all their questions and improvised like it was no one’s business.
I mean, I shouldn’t doubt her quick thinking and intelligence. Given the circumstances, I was genuinely surprised when she played the drums the other day with such fast precision.
I had to stifle a groan just thinking of that night. I didn’t even come, but it was the sexiest fucking sight I’d ever witnessed in my entire existence.
Just thinking about it makes me want to bust my nuts out.
Her quiet innocence, her breathy moans, and her fiery eyes just about would be my undoing.
“Who are we up against?” Sierra questioned Tin, who had just spoken in hushed whispers to the staff before returning to the table.
The fucker still spared a few glances my way like I was some vermin infesting the room, but I gave zero fucks about what he thought.
My girl wanted me here, and there was nowhere else I’d rather be.
“The Karmic Weavers,” he declared, settling down in the backward-facing chair he vacated earlier.
“Okay, we can get them. Their strength is weapon damage, so as long as we stay in our lane, shield, and focus on the prize, this should be an easy one,” Sierra stated.
They all nodded back, seriousness clouding their eyes as their faces morphed into an expression of complete trust.
And they chose the right person to give them all their trust. Even though she was the youngest, she knew exactly what she was doing. Sierra was eighteen, yet she commanded the team like a well-seasoned professional. It wasn’t something that anyone could do. Some would take years, and even then, they would fail.
She was so young, yet so smart and mature at the same time.
I knew Sierra was terrified of her parents knowing until there was substantial proof, but something told me one look at her unfazed ability on stage, and they would be so fucking proud of their daughter and her incredible talent.
It wasn’t long before they were called in, and Daisy Luna entered the arena with an air of poise, her eyes dashing straight to me, and for a brief second, my Sierra returned as she flashed me a small smile my way.
I gave her a slight encouraging nod and watched as she put on her cloak once again and aced the game like she was made for it. It only took them thirty minutes to win the game. That was how good they were.
That was how good she was.
It was almost dark when the group wrapped up for the day. It was a weird experience to be in the waiting line while she signed for a few fans and took a few photographs, only because I was usually the one who people waited for. But I would gladly wait for her moment to shine, however long she wanted.
“You did good,” I praised, kissing her forehead softly.
“Thanks,” she mumbled with a yawn as her head fell on my shoulder.
The poor thing barely had the juice to stand. That was how exhausted she was.
“I’ll be going then, guys,” Sierra muttered to her gang, and they agreed, sporting the same exhausted faces. Soon, they all hugged her goodbye and trudged down toward the old truck at the far end of the parking lot.
Except for one person.
Tin stood in a standstill regarding us with an expression that suited his name.
“Tin?” Sierra frowned, her palm cupping her mouth for yet another yawn. “What’s wrong?”
“Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?” he attempted in a monotonous voice, yet it gave away the slithering fury underneath.
I tightened my hold on her shoulder and pulled Sierra closer to me. His eyes followed the move with a slight tick of his jaw, and I met his eyes in a defiant glare.
I think I knew a little too well why he wanted her alone, and I didn’t like it one bit. I didn’t know how Sierra didn’t catch onto that fucker’s blatant interest in her.
“Again?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him, to which he gave a casual shrug.
I had no idea what he wanted to prove at this point when it was clear that she was with me. Maybe because he feels like a sore loser, who lost gold after years of no hard work.
“She’s tired. We’d like to go back home if you don’t mind,” I pressed the words with veiled caution just so he could get it through his thick fucking skull that he’d lost whatever chance he had with her.
His furious eyes snapped to me, but like a coward, he shifted them back to her. “Please, Si,” he muttered.
I tried not to let my white-knuckled grip hurl across his pearly whites when Sierra reluctantly nodded. “I’ll be back in a few,” she whispered and advanced toward him. His gaze softened as he led her to the same corner where they had spoken privately last week.
Anger wasn’t an emotion I was well acquainted with. I preferred to be calm and rational and logical, yet this situation was making me feel anything but that.
It was a tricky, tricky state to be in because I knew he was going to be in her life for a long time, and I knew from the way they interacted that they deeply respected and admired each other. They knew each other’s moves like the back of their hand.
That wild thought made me pause.
I wasn’t one to give in to doubts, but something about their dynamics made me question whether maybe Sierra would’ve chosen him if he’d made his move and confessed.
Would she have?
They were both around the same age and were well suited and liked the same things. If I hadn’t come into her life, or if he had taken the chance, would they have been together now?
A sudden flare of uncertainty hit me like a dozen concrete slabs slung on top of my head.
Would Sierra have liked me?
Even now, does she like me or is she only interested because she idolized the version of me for many years? Maybe inside her head, she was confusing those feelings for something real.
But even then, I wouldn’t care. I wasn’t letting her go. I would show up as the man she deserved till my last dying breath.
Lines creased my forehead as my eyes dragged to them. I couldn’t hear them through the gusts of spring air, but it looked like they were in a heated argument.
It took everything in me not to storm up there and give him my two cents.
But it didn’t last long. Sierra fired something back to which he flushed, nodding as he ran a hand through his hair, and Sierra offered him a small smile and gave him a quick hug and dashed toward me, dejected.
Her eyes glowed when they met mine, but her upper lip was fixed with a downward tilt.
She only did that when she was truly upset.
And I hated it when anyone made my firecracker upset.
I suddenly had an insistent urge to rearrange that fucker’s face.
“You okay?” I asked, cradling her cheeks with my big hands.
She nodded, mustering a fake smile.
The same way she did when her mother upset her.
I knew Victoria had her reasons, but I hated the way she treated her that day. Sierra was a soft soul, and I hated anyone or anything that upset her. Her mother certainly tried the hardest with or without knowing. I had to sit on the edge of my seat to control myself from talking some sense into her and I wanted Jen to shake her for how she spoke to her daughter.
I only stayed quiet because I knew underneath all that, Sierra terribly loved and respected her mother, and so did Victoria, but the way she was showing it hurt my girl and, in turn, made me a raging man.
Nothing was embarrassing or simple about my beautiful girl.
She was so bright and colorful.
Like a firecracker.
My firecracker.
“The next time he decides to upset you, he will have a bloody nose and the inability to function for a few days,” I said in a calm, glacial tone that made her eyes widen.
“Wh-What?”
“You heard what I said,” I muttered, leading her toward my G-wagon. I didn’t want to remain another extra second here.
I all but lifted her straight to her seat and hurried to the other side.
The slam of my door shutting hung in the quiet of the car like a sizzling current.
“Do you like him?” I asked, cutting my eye at her.
“Wh-Who? Tin?” Her eyes rounded so wide that I worried they might jump out of her head.
“Yes.”
“No,” she blurted, shaking her head. “I mean, I do like him as a friend, but never like that.”
I nodded, but the uncertainty still wouldn’t leave my bones. “So you realize that he likes you?”
A heavy sigh left her lips as she slouched back. “Yeah,” she mumbled, picking on her jacket with her fingers. My jacket . “I think it was obvious after today. I-I just can’t believe how stupid I was not to even see it.”
“What did he have to say?” I forced a steady tone when my blood fluctuated unstably.
Another sigh escaped her. “Just the usual… how I shouldn’t trust you, how I’m young and stupid, and how you’re just using me.” With each word, her decibel rose, holding the hint of her fury.
The vein in my forehead throbbed. “What did you say?”
“That he shouldn’t be worried, and it was none of his business who I date, and I also informed him that even my own parents didn’t care.”
“But he said something else.” My eyes dragged over her face, and that little frown on her lips was still there.
Her eyes glazed for the tiniest bit. “He said my parents only agreed because they think I’m smart enough to go to Columbia and that they didn’t know their daughter played games for a living.” Her voice cracked at that last sentence.
“That’s fucking it.” I gritted my teeth. I didn’t care if that fucker was in the darkest pit of hell, I’d still find him for making my girl small when she was anything but. Even then, he had no fucking right. She was mine.
“Matty.” Sierra’s hand gripped mine just as they closed around the door handle. “What are you doing?”
“Teaching him a lesson to never speak to my girl like that.”
Her gaze melted, and that frown vanished. “As much as I appreciate you fighting my battles, I can fight them too. Trust me to handle this. Tin, I know he sounds mean, but he is my best friend, and he is an important person in my life. He is confused right now, but he is a very good person, Matty, you’ll come to know.”
“I find that hardly likely.”
“He is, trust me.”
“Fine,” I muttered, starting the engine. I needed something to busy myself with all these unfamiliar emotions flooding my blood. I wasn’t a jealous person. All my past girlfriends had male friends, and I didn’t bat an eye or give it a second thought. But predictably, when it came to Sierra, that changed.
“Are you mad?” Sierra asked in a solemn whisper exactly ten minutes after. I knew because I was intently staring at the time on the dash like it would give me an answer.
“Like I said, I could never be mad at you, Sierra,” I said softly, squeezing her thigh, my fingers gliding snugly over the bare skin peeking between her stockings and skirt.
She smiled, the one she reserved just for me, the one that makes her hazels shine amber and her dimples curve adorably.
“But would you have?” I cleared my throat. “Would he have been your boyfriend if I weren’t in the picture?”
Her brows furrowed like she was thinking deeply. “I don’t know, actually,” she muttered.
My knuckles tightened. Not the answer I wanted.
“But I don’t like Tin that way,” she continued. “I never have. I always saw him as my friend.”
Some of the tense coils of my muscles relaxed, but there was one question I was afraid of knowing the answer to.
Did Sierra Chan really like me for me or the version of Matt Evans she glorified in her head?